Relearning The Breathing Process
by chivalryisntdead
Summary: A few days before the wedding Edward is out hunting and Bella agrees to go see Jacob, which she later regrets after he viciously hurts her like she never imagined he would. How will Bella cope? How will everyone react? Rated M for Rape and a few lemons!
1. Today, Tomorrow, and Forever

"I don't want you to go

_Hello, Fellow Twilight Fans! __:)_

_This is my first fan fic and I really hope you like it._

_Please review so I know what to improve on._

_Feel free to email me.  
Critisism accepted _

_The story is generally planned out, so updates should be too far apart._

_Please tell me if I should continue or not._

_I'll probably post a few chapters and then decide if I should keep it going._

_**Oh, Yeah. Obviously, I do not own anything except the story line. And I only half own that. Stephenie Meyer owns my face. **__****_

_(Set about a week before the wedding. Spoilers of Eclipse.)_

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"I don't want you to go..." I whined as I pulled myself closer to his cold chest. He wrapped his strong arms around me tighter as we lay in my bed even though it was still daylight out.

"I know. I don't really want to go..." He said sadly.

"Then stay here! You're eyes aren't even dark yet." I insisted.

"Bella," he sighed. "Our wedding is in one week, which means our wedding NIGHT is in one week. I need to take every precaution possible."

"Fine," I sighed, feeling defeated. "How long?" I asked hoping that it wouldn't be too long.

"I'll be back the night before the wedding." He said quietly. My heart sank. Three days without him? That will be torture.

"Oh..." I muttered with my head shoved into his chest, refusing to let go. He must have noticed my sudden closeness.

"Silly, Bella. I don't leave till tomorrow. We don't have till tomorrow afternoon. I leave around noon." He whispered as he placed his nose on top of my hair and breathing it in.

"Fine..." I huffed. Just as I leaned in to kiss him the phone began to ring. I sighed and jumped off the bed to reach the phone. It stopped ringing as my hand reached the receiver. Charlie had answered it. Edward emitted a small growl and I immediately knew who it was.

"Bells! It's for you!" Charlie called up. I looked at Edward, my eyes silently apologizing and asking permission all in the same glance. He nodded.

"Got it!" I yelled down to Charlie as I picked up the phone. "Hello?" I called into the receiver.

"Bells! I-I need to see you. C-Can you come down to La Push?" His voice was shaky and nervous.

"Jake, are you okay? Is something wrong?" I asked warily.

"No, I just," He struggled with his words, "I just really need to see you. I need to talk to you."

"Jake, I dunno, I don't think I can..."Edward was sitting very still on the bed, I felt his eyes on me, but refused to look at him. Was he angry?

"Bella! You HAVE to! Please!" He begged.

"I need to talk to Edward about it, Jake. I need to think about it. I'll call you back."

"Bella! PLEASE!" He nearly screamed.

"JACOB!" I shouted louder than I had intended. I took a deep breath and tried again. "I'll call you back."

"But, Bel-" I didn't let him finish. I hung up.

I sighed and walked over to sit next to Edward.

"You want to go..." He said. It wasn't a question. I just nodded. "May I ask why?" He seemed hurt.

"Edward, I haven't heard from him in months. After the thing with Victoria, he disappeared. Everyone has been worried. I need to know what happened. And I can't just leave and expect him to understand. H-He needs closure. It might help him and he might finally move on." I said quickly.

"I know, I know. I just don't like you seeing him, Bella." He turned his head so he was facing away from me.

"But, _why not_, Edward?" I pushed. I didn't want him to be angry, but I needed to understand. He sighed.

"He could hurt you, Bella. He's such a young werewolf. He could snap at any moment. I love you too much to let him lay a finger on you." He said, too quickly.

"That's not all, is it?" I questioned. He stared at me in disbelief.

"No." He sighed.

"What else?"

"He could take you from me, Bella. Not just physically, but emotionally. You could still pick him, and he knows that. He will use every opportunity to try and steal you from me. I know I won't stop either of you if you do pick him, but I don't think I could take the pain of letting you go." He said softly. I noticed he was farther away from me than where he had started. His voice was so full of pain. If he could cry, I'm sure he would be.

"Edward," I called out sweetly. He didn't turn to look at me. "Edward, please, look at me." My fingers reached out under his chin and turned him around to face me. "Edward, I would never, ever choose anyone over you. You are the single most important thing to me. I am marrying you to prove to you that I choose you. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I choose you today, tomorrow and every day of my life and then some. You are the only one for me, and never stop believing that." I stared into his honey eyes as his eyes softened. He moved forward and held me to his chest. I stretched higher and kissed him smoothly on the lips and retreated to my place at his chest and cuddled closer to him.

"Tomorrow will be the last time I see Jacob Black, I promise." I whispered. He just held me tighter and whispered something so softly I couldn't make it out. I believe it was 'Thank you.'

The day passed quickly as Edward and I just enjoyed each other's company. When night fell I got ready for bed and crawled into bed and snuggled as close to Edward as possible.

"Edward?" I called, breaking the peaceful silence.

"Yes, Love?" He answered while playing mindlessly with my hair.

"I love you." I said simply.

He chuckled. "I love you, too, Bella. Now, my love, it's time for bed." He began humming my lullaby and in seconds I was asleep.

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_Review! And Thanks for Reading!_

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	2. Surroundings Fade

Welcome Back

_Welcome Back! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter._

_If you did, make sure you review! _

_  
__**Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of this.**_

_Warning: The rape is in this chapter. If this disturbs you I'll show you were it is, so you can skip over it. _

_Enjoy the story! (Even if she does get raped)_

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I rolled over as the dreary morning crept into my room. I stretched and searched the bed for Edward with my eyes closed. I finally found him and mumbled, "I found you."

He chuckled, "Yes, you did." I snuggled closer to him until I felt the too familiar taste of morning in my mouth. He leaned into kiss me and I maneuvered my head so he got my cheek. I stood up and shook of his arms as I ran to the bathroom and called behind me.

"Human moment!" I shouted. I heard him laugh as I used my human excuse.

I quickly ran into the bathroom and got ready for the upcoming day. I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and slid it into a quick pony tail and got dressed in some comfortable jeans and a blue t-shirt. I quickly ran into my room tripping on the rug in the hall. As I braced myself for impact I felt his cold arms scoop me up and carry me to my room.

"What will I do with you?" He chuckled again.

"Love me?" I asked.

"With pleasure." He answered as he leaned into kiss me. He sat me on the bed and sat next to me.

"So, What's the plan for the next few days?" I asked sadly. I didn't want to think about him leaving.

"Well, you and I will lounge around for a few hours until noon. Then I will be driving you to the border where, I presume, Jacob will meet us. Then Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie will be joining me to go hunting. Alice has already convinced Charlie that since 'the boys' will be out of the town that you have to stay at our house for some last minute wedding planning." I moaned. "What is it?" he asked worriedly.

"Bella B-Barbie!" I stuttered in mock horror. He laughed.

"I'm afraid so, love." I stood up and looked at the clock. It was almost 11:00.

"I need to call Jake to tell him to meet us at the border." I said sadly.

"You don't sound too excited about it." He stated.

"I'm not. It's hurting you and I hate that I won't see you for a week." I pouted.

"I know, but I'll be back before you know it." He said softly as he stood up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. I felt a shiver go down my spine.

"R-Ready?" I asked shakily. Curse his ability to dazzle me.

"Call Jacob, love." He said pointing me in the direction of the phone, laughing at my disorientation.

"Right." I walked over to the phone and dialed his number.

"Hello?" Jacob's voice sounded rough, like he hadn't slept.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Bells! Are you coming? Today?" He was so anxious.

"Yeah, Jake." I said lifelessly. "I'll be there. Meet us at the border around noon?"

"Sure, sure! I'll be there. See ya, Bells!" He shouted happily.

"Bye, Jake." I said and hung up.

I sighed and looked up at Edward and held him closer. I hated that he was leaving today.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Nope, but we have to anyway." I sighed.

He chuckled, "Yes, we do. Let's go." We walked out to the car and the ride to the border was peacefully quiet. We arrived at the border and Edward stiffened when he saw Jacob.

"Bella, be careful. He's trying to block me out. I don't know what he's thinking. Something is definitely up."

"Great." I muttered sarcastically. I leaned in and laid my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent.

"Bella?" Edward's sweet voice rang.

"Hmm?" I answered.

"I'm sorry, love, but everyone is waiting. I have to go." he said sadly.

"Oh." was all I could manage. "I'll miss you."

"Silly Bella, I'll miss you so much more. I love you." He said as he rested his head on mine. I picked my head up and looked at him.

"I love you, too. I guess you should get going." I sighed in defeat as I heard a car pull up behind us and knew instantly it was Emmett's Jeep. "I'm sure Jasper isn't enjoying that jeep too much."

"HEY! I RESENT THAT!" I heard Emmett shout. I couldn't help but laugh. I looked up at Jacob and saw him anxiously pacing at the border.

"I should get going to. I love you." I said again.

"I love you, too. I have my cell phone on, call me for anything, okay?" I nodded. "Alice will be here to pick you up at 6 tonight. Alright? Call her if you need to leave earlier or a little later. Goodbye, Bella." He kissed me roughly on the lips and I stumbled out of the car. I heard Edward laugh once again at my shakiness from his kiss. He just didn't understand.

"Bye." I said breathy. I backed up, still staring at Edward and walked into Jasper. "Oh!" I shouted as I jumped when I hit him. His body stiffened. "Sorry, Jasper." I stepped away from him a few feet and he relaxed and smiled.

"It's no problem, Bella. Besides, you were right. As much as I love that Jeep, between Emmett and Rosalie, it's enough to drive an empath crazy." He chuckled and I smiled.

I waved at the Jeep and Emmett waved back with a huge grin on his face and even Rose smiled and waved. I looked at Edward one last time and he smiled at me and winked. I felt myself blush and I walked carefully over to Jacob. I heard the roar of the Jeep and the purr of the Volvo drive off and it was just Jacob and me.

"Bells!" Jacob shouted as he ran up to me and embraced me into a giant hug, cutting off my air supply.

"H-Hi, Jake. C-Can't breathe." I choked out.

"Oh! Sorry!' He let go and placed me back onto the ground. We climbed in his rabbit and drove to his all too familiar house.

"Do you mind if we just hang around here today? Billy is out fishing, so we have it all to ourselves."

"No problem. Hey, Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Where did you go the days that everyone thought you were missing?" I asked carefully.

"I-I just needed to think and it's hard to do that when you have a bunch of people in your head. But, I don't really want to talk about it." He sighed. "What do you want to do today?" He asked, changing the subject.

I shrugged. "Well, we have all day. Alice won't be here till 6."

"Well, that's only 5 hours. You and your lee-" He caught himself and blushed "You and Edward took an hour just to say goodbye." I felt myself blush.

"Sorry, he's hunting so I won't see him until the night before the wedding." I mumbled as we walked into the living room.

"Oh, right, the wedding." He muttered. "So you're still going through with it?"

"Yes, I am. And I'm not doing it to get it over with, either." I said angrily. It was quiet and awkward for a while until we reached the garage and he so graciously broke the silence.

"You're making a mistake." He whispered.

"Jacob!" I shouted. "Stop!"

"No, Bella! I won't stop! You are being ridiculous. Just listen to me, will you?" I shifted anxiously on the old couch that rested in a corner of the garage. "Bella, I love you. He doesn't! He could kill you in a heartbeat!" His hand was gripping the arm rest so tight I could see the indention that would remain there forever.

"Jake! Look at your hand!" He looked down and removed his hand from the crushed furniture. "Jake, you're sitting there lecturing about Edward could hurt me, and you are breaking a solid couch without even THINKING about it! You are being such a hypocrite!" I shouted.

"At least I'm still HUMAN! I can still give you what you want most, Bella! A family! Kids! A life with Charlie in it! A Normal life! We could grow old together! I could give you things that bloodsucker couldn't even dream of giving you!" He shouted.

"Maybe what I want most is to be with Edward, Jake! Ever think about that?" I suggested calmly.

"You and I both know that he will only hurt you again. He'll get bored and just leave you."

"Jacob! That's enough." I said sternly as I stood up. "I didn't come here to listen to you try and convince me that I don't love Edward. It doesn't work like that Jake. I love Edward. I came here to find middle ground with you before I left, but I see that's impossible." I walked to the garage door and began to open it before I felt Jacob pull me back and throw me onto the couch. I stared at him in shock. He was shaking.

"No, Bella. I can't let you leave. Not until you realize it's ME that you love." He was shaking so violently as he reached up and locked the massive amount of locks on the door that I'm sure weren't there before. I blinked and he was standing in front of me. "You WILL love me."

"J-Jacob. S-Stop you're not yourself, you're losing control. Jacob, please, be reasonable." I choked out.

"I did think about this! I thought about this for weeks and this was the only solution!" He shouted. I squeaked out of terror. He was shaking more angrily and his eyes were cold. Before I knew what was happening Jacob had thrown me on the floor and was lying on top of me. The heat from his body was so intense all I wanted was Edward's cold arms around me.

_(If you want to get technical, the rape starts here...)_

Jacob began kissing me roughly and gripping my arms tightly so I couldn't move. I tried to push against him, but I knew he was too strong. I gave in hoping that he would grow bored, but this only encouraged him. He kissed me with more intensity and pushed his tongue in and out of my mouth. I felt my eyes fill with tears out of the pain of him pushing me to the floor. I was sure something was broken. He ripped my shirt as he tried to pull it over my head until he finally gave up and ripped it off and the material scraped rocks into my back as it ripped and burned my back.

Soon Jacob had his shirt off and was pushing himself onto me again, only much harder. I wanted to scream out in pain as I felt something in my chest snap, but there was nothing left of my voice. I was stuck here. The tears poured out of my eyes as Jacob ripped off my bra. This was supposed to be Edward and we were supposed to be married and I wasn't supposed to be crying. With the thought of Edward I cried harder.

I felt Jacob stand up. Was it over? I sat up looking for my bra when I realized that Jacob had only stood up to take off his pants. I shuddered with fear as he took off his jeans and soon his boxers. I closed my eyes as I tried to crawl away. He jumped on top of me, slamming my head into the hard floor and I felt blood ooze from it. He ripped off my jeans along with my underwear. I was shuddering, but not out of being cold. Jacob's heat kept me from that. I just wanted to be dead.

"Jake, P-Please!" I begged, finding my voice.

_(...but the actual rape, rape starts here...)_

"No, Bella. You made me do this. You should have chosen me. You know you want this." He said between gasps for air. I was sobbing. I had my legs tightly together as he ripped them open, positioning himself at my opening. He steadied himself with his hand as he kissed me wetly all over my face. He pushed himself into me and stopped at my barrier. 'Please, Jake, just be done. Please.' I thought to myself. Of course he wasn't even close to being done. He pushed into me again. The pain was so intense I wanted to scream. I felt the blood ooze down my leg. I screamed out as he shoved his hand against my mouth. He continued to shove himself deeper and deeper. The pain consumed me until I was nothing but a shell. My surroundings were nothing but a picture I was forced to watch.

I heard banging on the garage door. "JACOB!" It yelled. Jake cursed and pushed into me as he please, ignoring the voice. Please, let the end come soon.

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_Sort of a Cliff Hanger, I guess. Shrugs I hope you like it. Next chapter coming soon!  
Review!!_

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	3. He's Still Out There

Hello, Again

_Hello, Again!_

_Glad to have you back!  
Hope you like it so far!_

_R&R!_

_Disclaimer: Honestly, if you don't realize that I don't own this by now, there is no hope for you. _

"JACOB, ANSWER THIS DOOR, OR I'LL BREAK IT DOWN!" It was Sam's voice.

Jacob stood up quickly and threw a blanket over me, as if to hide what he had done. Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Remember, Bella. You wanted this. What will that bloodsucker want with you NOW? You're just used goods, now." I felt the tears come into my eyes again as Jacob sped off in the direction of the back door. Soon the front door was on the ground and I was still lying on the floor shivering.

"B-Bella!" Sam's voice was shocked. "Bella, Jacob did this, didn't he?" I just nodded and continued to cry. "Bella, I'm gonna take you to Emily. I need to carry you, is that alright?" He asked. I shook my head viciously.

"Bella, you can't walk and I can't just let you lie here. Please, let me carry you." He walked over to me, inching closer to my covered and bloody body. He reached down to pick me up.

"Please... Don't..." I begged quietly, using every ounce of effort in my body not to wince as I sat up. I made sure the blanket was surrounding me as Sam began to talk. I didn't want to talk. I wanted to go home.

"Bella, I need to get you to the hospital. You're really hurt." He said sternly.

"Please, Sam, Please take me home. Just take me home..." I trailed off, tears forming in my eyes.

"Bella, you're hurt." He stated dumbly.

"I know, I'll call Carlisle if it gets any worse. I'm sure I'll be fine. It's nothing I haven't had before." I lied.

"Bella, you've never been raped before..." He whispered. I just shook my head.

"Bella, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Sam, please, I don't want to. I just want to go home. I just want this day to be over with." I pleaded.

"But-" He begged and sighed in defeat, "Fine, Bella. But please, please, please call Carlisle? You're not okay."

"I will." I lied.

"Would you like me to call Alice for you?" He shifted anxiously, obviously not wanting to be in contact with the Cullens. I shook my head.

"I can call her, too." I suggested, really intending on calling her so she wouldn't show up at my house.

"Okay, Bella. Can you walk to my car? It's parked right outside." He asked simply.

"I think so." Sam offered me a hand as I tried to stand up, wrapping the blanket tighter around me. I took his hand and began to push my self upward. I moaned in pain as I let myself fall back closer to the ground. Everything hurt.

"I'll carry you to the car. I'm going to take you by my house to get some clothes. Is that alright?" I nodded, still afraid of him picking me up.

He leaned over to pick me up and I felt the heat escaping from his skin. I felt his hot breath on my cheek as he began to pick me up. His arms wrapped around me tightly as he pulled me into a cradled position.

"Sam, please. I don't think I can do this..." I whispered.

"Close your eyes, Bella." He said sadly. Was he going to finish me off? Was it some sick game? Not only were they raping me, it was a game to them. I felt my eyes begin to leak as Sam held me. "Bella? Bella, open your eyes. Bella, you're okay. I'm not going to hurt you. We're already at the car." I opened my eyes slowly, afraid to see him above me. He was still holding me in a cradle and he was using one hand to open the door of his car. He placed me in the car and I tried to move my legs closer to my stomach, but regretted it. My ribs ground together and my legs protested in agony. More Tears came.

"Bella?" Sam's voice called worriedly. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"I need to go home..." I whispered. Sam nodded as he sped to the driver's seat and drove off towards his house. We stopped at his house and I focused on the woods around his house. They were so thick.

"Bella?" He called again..

"He's still out there.." I whispered. "He's still out there and he won't stop until he gets me. I'll never be safe." I felt the hot tears pouring down my face and my body shaking in pain.

"Bella," He whispered, "We will find him, and when we do, he won't get away with any of this. He will be severely punished. If not by death, then he will have all his power in the pack taken away. Bella, the pack will know about this soon enough, and when they do, none of us will ever forgive him." He assured me. I just nodded. "Let's go in and get you some clothes, then I will take you home." I nodded again.

He carried me into the house and the tears on my face were still falling slowly.

"Emily!" He called out. "Em!" He shouted.

"What, Sam? You just ate, are you hungry ag- Oh, my god." She must have seen me. I was sobbing again. "Bella, honey what happened to you?" I shook my head. Stared at me up and down, studying the old ratty blanket I was wrapped in.

"It was Jacob, Em. He must have lost control, or something." He muttered.

"Sam, this isn't losing control! This is rape!" She said harshly. Sam just nodded.

"Bella, I'm going to get you some of my clothes, alright? I'll be right back." She ran out of the room and came back with some sweats. "Bella, honey, the bathroom is right over here, can you walk?" I shook my head. I couldn't move; I didn't want to move.

Sam carried me to the bathroom and placed me on the counter and Emily walked in closing the door behind Sam. It was just me and her in the room. "Bella, you need to go to a doctor." I shook my head. "Bella, I'm sure something is broken. You're really hurt, sweetheart. Please, let me take you." I shook my head more viciously. "We can talk about this when you're dressed, alright? That might be easier." She sighed as she reached for a washcloth and she soaked it in warm water.

She cleaned the blood running down my neck and around the places that were scarred and she slowly moved to my legs like I would flip out. She finished cleaning me up, except the throbbing core between my legs. She helped me into a pair of her smallest sweats and gave me a choice between a hoodie and a short sleeved shirt. I chose the hoodie. I wasn't about to show off the bruises. She helped me of the counter and I writhed slightly with pain. She noticed and supported my weight even more. We walked into the living room where she gently placed me on the couch. Sam was a blur and his speech seemed to be lethargic and drawn out. I shook my head trying to come back to reality, but this was my reality.

Emily ran to me from the kitchen and hugged me tightly. I wanted to scream out in pain, but I didn't want to make her feel any worse. "Bella," She whispered, "If there is anything I can do, just let me know. Alright?"

I shook my head, "You've done so much, already." I mumbled quietly. She was so sweet about lending me clothes and helping me clean up.

"Nonsense." she shook her head and hugged me tighter. I flinched at her touch and I realized how sore my body was. I recoiled from her touch and she took notice. "I'm so sorry." She whispered and fled back to the kitchen.

Sam carried me gently to the car and set me in the back seat so I could lay down. He muttered something about my ribs.

"Alright, Bella." Sam's voice snapped me out of my daydreams. "We need to leave. I'll take you." I nodded.

He picked me up gently and carried me to the car. My ribs ground together and my whole body was screaming in pain, but Sam couldn't know this. He sat me in the seat and I adjusted the chair so it would take pressure off my ribs. It only helped a little.

"Bella, how are you?" He said worriedly. I just stared at him. I was just raped by my best friend, I couldn't hardly talk, let alone move. "Right," He said sighing. "Bella, I need to talk to you about something very serious, is that okay?" I nodded, knowing I wouldn't hear a word he said. He smiled weakly. I placed my hands at my stomach, trying to soothe the throbbing in my ribs. At least one was broken, no doubt. The pain started becoming more intense every bump he hit. I could hear his voice lightly murmuring in the front seat, but the tears running down my face blocked everything he said.

"Bella? BELLA?" His voice was shouting and it brought me out of my world. I looked up at him from the seat, he was watching me in the mirror. "Bella, you didn't hear what I said, did you."

I shook my head and whispered. "I'm sorry, I'll listen this time."

He shook his head, "I understand, Bella. Don't be sorry. We can talk about this later." I nodded stared out the window in front of me. My house was growing closer and closer. Soon I would be able to crawl into my bed and disappear from the world.

"Bella, we're here." Sam's voice rang through the car. I nodded. He picked me up out the car and carried me to the front door. Carlisle's car was missing in the driveway and I was thankful. Sam set me down and helped me to stand upright as I unlocked the door. He carried me up the stairs and placed me on the bed.

"Bella, please, don't hesitate to call me if you need anything. I can be here in five minutes. Do you promise?" He asked. I nodded. "Alright, Bella. I'm so sorry. I should leave now, I need to talk to the pack. Goodnight, Bella." He called as he ran down the stairs and closed the door behind him.

I shifted on the bed and covered myself with my blankets and burrowed my head in the pillows. I muffled a moan as the pain became overwhelming. I was crying as the pain from the erratic breathing was crashing into me like waves. I couldn't lie like this for hours could I? I eventually would fall asleep or pass out from pain. I was just praying it would be soon. I stared at the wall trying to calm down. I continued to get closer until I would remember that _he_ could be anywhere. He could be in the house. He could be outside my window or in the forest outside my house. He would find me, and I had no chance of escaping him. I looked at the ceiling, refusing to let myself think about anything. Every now and then Edward's face popped up in my head and caused a new round of sobs. I knew he would never want me again. Soon I had mastered the art of the blank stare. I thought about nothing outside the pain overwhelming my body and soon after that I must have fallen asleep.


	4. The Nightmares Turn To Life

_Read! Review!_

_(Warning: Not Stephenie Meyer)_

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"Bella?! Oh, Thank God, Bella!" Alice's voice caused me to wince and I opened my eyes. She was sitting on my bed anxiously. "Bella! Where were you? How did you get home? It's 7:00! Why didn't you call me? Oh, Bella, I was so worried! Is Jake still around? I can't see your future! Why do you smell like dried blood? Bella? Bella what's wrong?" His name had set me off. I couldn't do this anymore. The blank stare was gone and I could feel the emotional pain run though me.

"Bella?? Bella!" Her voice was loud, but I couldn't bring myself to respond. "Bella! What is going on?" I just shook my head. Her voice continued to buzz around me and I refused to look up. I shoved my head deeper into the pillow and screamed in pain as Alice tried to shake me.

Alice's voice faded into the background and was no longer pointed at me. Who was she talking to? Was someone else here? Was it that monster? I shook with fear. Minutes passed of silence. I was content with the quiet. Suddenly the door burst opened and a male voice filled the air. A smooth voice, but I was happy to discover it wasn't the velvety voice I feared.

"Bella? Bella, I need to know that you can hear me. Can you hear what I'm saying?" Carlisle's voice asked worriedly. I nodded into the pillow. "Bella can you tell me what happened?" I shook my head, feeling the tears well in my eyes. "Bella, did someone do this to you?" What was this, twenty questions? I nodded.

"Bella... Was it Jake?" I froze for a moment at his name. I couldn't move. Suddenly I could feel him on top of me again. Holding me down. Breaking every ounce of me. "Bella?" His voice snapped me out of my memory. I nodded again. I heard him curse under his breath. "Bella I'm taking you to the hospital." I shook my head. "Bella, you can't decide this right now. I'm calling Charlie and telling him that you fell and you're at the hospital. Bella, I'm going to pick you up and carry you to the car. Alice? You can follow us in the Porsche." I cringed as Carlisle picked me up. His cold touch was soothing to my sore body.

Carlisle carried me to the car and sat me in the back seat of the Mercedes as he sped into the driver's seat and hurried to the hospital. The building pressure of the car caused me body to ache even more. I moaned constantly. "Shh. We're almost there, Bella." He said calmly.

We arrived at the hospital and Carlisle called a nurse to find a clean room and bring a wheelchair. Within seconds Alice pulled up behind us and came out to meet Carlisle. Carlisle placed me in the wheel chair the nurse had brought out and gently placed me in it. He wheeled me into an immaculately clean room somewhere in the hospital. He handed me a gown and kindly walked out while I got dressed.

I'm sure he tried to start conversation, but I just nodded when I heard him speak. A few moments after I had the paper-like gown on I painfully climbed onto the hospital bed. As I climbed into the bed I shrieked in pain as I felt the blood oozing down my legs again. I felt the tears overtake my face and I was shivering. How could I just let Carlisle see me like this? He had been kind enough to leave a blanket on the table and allowed me to cover up. Soon after I lied down I heard a soft knock at the door and Carlisle walked in. Everything felt blurry and I couldn't think straight. I wasn't myself. I wasn't Bella.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Bella!" Carlisle's voice was serious and urgent. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at him and he sighed. "Bella, I need to know what happened. No one can hear us, no one can see us, if that is what you're worried about." I shook my head.

"Why not? Bella, you're less than a week away from being my daughter. I care about you and I really need to know what happened so I can help you heal." I shook my head again. "Is it something you don't want Edward, or any of us, know?" I nodded, feeling the tears escape my eyes again.

"Oh, Bella. Edward loves you, and nothing that happened to you would make him love you any less. And if it's that important to you, I can just block him. I'll have to be on my best guard, but I will be able to do it easily. So with that said, Bella, are you going to tell me what happened?"

I shook my head and he sighed. "Bella, if you won't show me as your father-in-law. I need you to show me as your physician. I took an oath, Bella, many times. I'm obligated to help you. Bella, please, let me help you." His voice was gentle and his eyes filled with a greater sadness. I felt horrible; no one should suffer because of what I did.

I shrugged the blanket down around my lap and showed Carlisle my bruised arms. You can clearly see Jacob's hand prints all across my arms. I lifted up the gown to reveal the purple mess my stomach had become. I pointed out the bloody scratches on my back from the thick concrete and rocks. I showed him my bloody head. I hesitated when I went to move the blanket to show him the bruises and scratches on my leg. Not to mention the blood that still continued to seep down my leg.

"I know you're bleeding, Bella. I need to see everything else." I nodded as a tear slid down my face. I shoved the blanket aside revealing my bruised and battered legs. He noticed the blood immediately. He was in shock as he ran at a nonhuman speed to the side of my bed. He gasped again, "Bella.." He stared into my face and I was crying again, harder. "Bella, Jacob raped you, didn't he?" I choked out a sob and moaned in pain. "Bella?" I nodded.

"Okay, Bella. Does Sam know about this?" He asked. He was pacing slightly.

"He's the one that s-saved me." I whispered. Carlisle looked angrier than I had ever seen him.

"Bella, did he explain how we couldn't possibly begin to get the cops involved in this?" He whispered sadly. I shrugged. That must have been what he said in the car. He cursed under his breath. "Bella, I'm so sorry this happened. I'm still going to do a check up that I would do for any rape case; however, the records will only show the broken bones. I will call it anonymous abuse." I nodded again.

"Okay, Bella. I'm going to give you some pain medication as I check all of your injuries and clean you up, alright?" I nodded. Carlisle inserted an IV into my arm and I cringed and looked away as the needle entered my skin. Soon the pain slipped away and everything felt like a dream, or rather, a nightmare. After what felt like hours, Carlisle stood up and as if it was perfect timing, reality slowly hit me again.

"Would you like to know the specifics?" He asked. I nodded.

He sighed, "Three broken ribs, a sprained wrist, fractured collar bone, two stitches below hairline on back of head, deep cuts along arms and back, massive deep bruising and possible fracture along legs due to impact and, bruises over entire body specifically on upper body." His voice trailed off, "And of course, something not written on the sheet, Severe Vaginal Tearing. That can be fixed from home."

He sighed again, "You are all cleaned up, but I assume you would rather stay here then go back to Charlie's or to Alice?" I nodded. "Well that is just fine. I can keep you here for observation. I need to check on you anyway." I nodded. "Get some rest, Bella." I nodded and rolled onto my side wincing as the brace shifted around my ribs causing them to grind. I moaned. I wasn't sure if he had left, so I maintained as much composure as possible.

After a few moments of staring at the same spot on the bed, trying not to think about the day I heard Carlisle speak from the door frame. "Bella?" He said softly. I hummed a response; I still wasn't ready to talk. "I need you to understand you mean too much to this family for us to let you go over something silly like this. Bella, you are extremely important to us, and we care about you. I won't tell the family about this, but Bella, I really suggest you do. If not Alice and everyone else, please tell Edward. Bella, he would want to know this. He would want to be here for you." I felt the tears pour out. I nodded silently. "He loves you more than you realize." I nodded again. "Okay, Bella, I will let you get your rest. I'm sure Alice will be here when you wake up. Just say my name and I will be here instantly for you." Again, I nodded. I heard the door close and I lost it.

I began sobbing and shaking. I didn't care about the pain. I just wanted to be dead. It didn't matter how much Edward loved me, he wouldn't love me after I let that mutt rape me. I was filthy. Edward wouldn't want me. The Cullens wouldn't want me. Carlisle was being too naive and too nice. I was sick and filthy. I let the darkness enclose around me and shuddered in pain and fear. Couldn't this all be over?

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	5. I hope to never see you again

Short Chapter

_Short Chapter!_

_(A relief for you guys, I'm sure!)_

_Note: I'm Not Stephenie Meyers… I know.. Big Surprise. _

Somehow eventually I must have fallen asleep, because the next think I remember is Alice standing over me with a sad look on her face.

"Bella!" She said happily. Oh, Bella I'm so happy you're awake. How are you feeling?" I stared at her. "Stupid question." She mumbled. I forced a laugh, but it hurt.

"Oh, Bella, what happened?" I sat anxiously trying to think of the right lie. Carlisle quickly stepped in the door.

"She fell off the edge of a short cliff in La Push, Right Bella?" He said confidently. I nodded. Alice looked at me sideways, she didn't believe it for a second.

"Bella, I hate to bother you with this, but It's necessary." He seemed to struggle with this. "Bella, do you," She sighed. "Do you want me to postpone the wedding?" My heart sank. I shook my head wildly. "I mean, it wouldn't be that hard, Renee's flight is the only thing that will be hard to change, but even that is a snap. I mean, if you need time to... think about things, it's okay."

"Alice, no!" I shrieked and instantly regretted it. I brought my voice to a whisper. "No, Alice. I want this wedding. I NEED this wedding." Without the wedding, there would be no Edward and me. I would never be changed and I would be left in even more pieces than I am now.I felt tears straining my eyes and I blinked them away.

Her eyes looked sad and suddenly she closed her eyes and stood very still. She cussed under her breath. "Bella, I can't see the wedding. Obviously the pack will be there." I shuddered. "Bella, I really don't think we should have the wedding. It's in two days. We can reschedule for a few weeks after that, but you're in no shape to walk down the isle right now." She said sternly.

"Alice," I whispered as the tears ran down my face again, "please, I need this, I'll be fine in a few days.." I begged. She shook her head sadly.

"Bella, the wedding isn't in a few days, I-It's tomorrow." My face sunk. Had it really already been three days? I gasped in horror as I did the math between days.

"No..." I whispered shocked.

"Bella?" Alice asked, obviously worried. "Bella, what's going on?" I just shook my head as my eyes filled up with more tears. "Bella, there is still time to reschedule, the only people coming from out of town are Renee and Phil, and they will understand. I will call them when I get home." I nodded. I wasn't worried about he stupid wedding. I was scared of Edward coming home in a matter of hours. I felt my body slowly begin to ache again, the pain medications were fading. I was shaking from pain and the tears continued to pour out of me. Alice looked like she had been caught off guard.

"B-Bella? Are you hurting?" I nodded, I couldn't tell her why. "I-I'm going to get Carlisle, he can bring you something to make it stop hurting, okay?" She asked helplessly. I nodded and with that she was off. After a few long minutes of sobbing and letting my ribs take most of the pressure Carlisle walked in with a syringe and a small clear jar.

"Bella, I'm going to give you something that will make you sleep, alright?" I nodded. I needed to fall asleep. I didn't want to be this shell. I slowly drifted off into a deep and less painful sleep. Goodbye, World, I hope I never see you again.

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	6. The State of Catatonia

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_Welcome Back! Thanks for all the great reviews! If I don't get back to you personally, I'm sorry! (It's a busy time around here!) I'll try to get back to all of you though! Please don't murder me if I don't get to you._

_Alright, Well…  
This is a seriously long chapter. Some parts were fun to write, the other parts weren't._

_I'm sure I didn't get Edward right. He's too darn perfect, he's impossible to get right. o.O_

_I hope I did okay with this chapter! Read and Review! Thanks!_

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EPOV

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My siblings called this an early wedding present. Our hunting trips could now be considered gifts. I didn't want to leave Bella. That's not a gift at all. I only came because I knew it was for my own good. I needed to hunt before I married her. I needed to hunt so it would be easier to keep control after the wedding. I figured we would just go up to some woods somewhere and I would eat something dull, but my family surprised me by taking me up to one of the local mountain ranges that had an increase of Mountain Lions. I was actually happy when they told me this. I love lions.

After a few hours had past of hunting, I was growing bored. I had multiple lions and to past the time I ate whatever I thought it might be a challenge. The sun was beginning to set and I wanted to see Bella, even though I wasn't due back till the next day an hour before the Ceremony. I looked for the others and found them all pestering a few bears. I waited for them to have their fun until they saw me.

"Ready to get back so soon?" Jasper said.

"It's been three days, I'm sick of not seeing her." I shrugged. Emmett snickered and Rosalie smacked him in the back of the head. _Aw, you know I'm just playin' little bro._ He thought, I shrugged.

I grabbed the keys to my Volvo out of my pocket and Emmett grabbed the keys to the Jeep and we all headed to the cars. Jasper and I got into the car and began to drive home. It was only a two hour drive at our speed, but I was still anxious to see Bella.

"Geez, Edward, calm down. I swear, I feel like I'm about to explode from excitement. Are you really that excited to see her?" He said obviously annoyed.

"Sorry, Jasper. I just really miss her. I can't stop thinking about her or worrying about her. I've heard the way you and Alice think about each other when you're separated; you really are in no position to give me crap about it." I said a little angrily.

"No, Edward, I didn't mean it like that. It's just... different. I'm glad you and Bella found each other. You fit so perfectly. You both love each other so much, the intensity reminds me of Alice and myself or Carlisle and Esme. It's just strange coming from you. But I really am happy about it." He said defending himself. I stared at him a little shocked.

"Thanks, Jasper. That means a lot." I said, focusing harder on the road. I already knew that he approved of Bella, but hearing it from him meant a lot. He just nodded as we sped off towards home. The ride was short and quiet. It was peaceful and gave me time to think about all that was about to happen in the next few days.

We arrived at the house a few minutes before Emmett and Rosalie did. We all walked into the house together, bags in tow and I heard Esme in the kitchen. I dropped my bags off near the stairs and walked at a fairly human speed to go say hello. I walked in and she stared nervously up at me from the kitchen table, which she had been cleaning. Her mind was oddly filled with old English folk songs I recognized from my childhood. Was she blocking me?

"Esme?" She looked up curiously from the table she was so intensely cleaning. "Why are you blocking me?"

"Oh, Edward, don't be preposterous. I just have a few songs stuck in my head." She said too sweetly.

"Well, are the Latin, German, French and Spanish translations stuck in your head as well?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, yes as a matter of fact..." She mumbled. This couldn't be good.

"Esme..." I said warningly. She just continued to scrub at the already clean table. I thought on the many topics this could be on. Was it about Bella? No, it couldn't be. Had it been about Bella they would have called me. Alice must have done something. Oh, no. Had she bought me a new wardrobe, again? She better not have thrown out my favorite shirts. With the fear of a new wardrobe instilled in me I ran to my closet, looking for a shred of evidence accusing Alice of shopping. There was nothing new there. Why was Esme acting so strangely? What happened? I shrugged it off and ran downstairs.

_Edward?_ It was Jasper's voice in his head. I looked at him. _Why is Esme acting so strange? Worry and fear is pouring off her. Is she alright?_ I shrugged. I had no idea what was wrong with her.

"Esme, I don't know what has you so worked up, but can I ask where I can find Alice and Bella?" I asked politely. The singing of the children's songs got louder. It was something about Bella that had her so nervous. I looked at Jasper.

She's _even more worried now! What is going on! It's making me pace_! He shouted at me in his head. I shrugged again.

"Esme... Where is Bella?" I asked again, less polite. I was getting nervous.

"Edward, I need you to sit down and promise to stay calm." Esme said nervously. Anger consumed me.

"Esme," I said through clenched teeth, "Where is Bella." She stood up looking stern, according to Jasper, she was actually feeling quite nervous, but very motherly. She motioned towards the chair in the kitchen telling me to sit. I was in the seat in seconds. I looked at her, encouraging her to tell me.

"Emmett? Jasper? Can you please come and stand by Edward?" She called gently. Why was she taking so much precaution? What was wrong with Bella? Why couldn't I go to her? Jasper and Emmett were both standing at my shoulders, Emmett's hair looked strangely messy. Obviously we had interrupted something. I cleared my throat and motioned towards Emmett's unbuttoned pants. Emmett laughed nervously and buttoned them back. Esme rolled her eyes and began to speak. "Emmett, Jasper, Edward is not going to take this news well, and I can't have him running off and exposing himself and the rest of us, so please, hold him back will you?" They seemed confused, but they put their hands on my shoulders. I shifted under their holds.

"Esme, please, stop being coy. Where is Bella? Why can't I go see her? Where is Alice? And doesn't Carlisle have the day off?" I questioned, getting angrier by the second.

"Edward, Bella is at the hospital." I felt the grips on my shoulder tighten as Jasper and Emmett gasped. I felt myself slip away from my body. My Bella was in the hospital and I wasn't there. I had been gone for three days, how long had she been there? Esme continued, "I would like Jasper or Emmett to take you, for obvious reasons. Alice is with her, as is Carlisle. He worked today to make sure she was okay." I wasn't listening.

"How long?" I whispered. She looked confused. "How long has she been in the hospital?" I tried again.

"Carlisle took her in yesterday." She explained. I nodded. I didn't want to ask any more questions, I needed to find out on my own.

"Esme, I need to see her." She nodded. "No, Esme, I need to see her... Without a guard. I need time to think." Esme looked nervous. "Jasper, I'm fine, aren't I? I just need to see her." I begged.

"He's really okay, Esme. Besides, Carlisle and Alice can take care of him." Esme nodded.

"Fine." She sighed in defeat. "Please, for our sake, please be careful." I nodded and with that I was out the door.

I stepped off the porch and into the dreary rain. _How fitting_, I sighed to myself. With that I ran to the only place I wanted to be; with Bella. I wanted to run to the hospital, but I knew if I walked into the hospital dripping wet, I wouldn't get to see Bella. It would be very unintelligent to get Bella even sicker. I mean, after all, she was only sick, right? What could have happened that they wouldn't call me for? Why didn't they call me? Did Bella request that? Did she not want me here? I needed answers and I needed them now. I shoved my hand in my pocket and pulled out my keys and ran to the Volvo. I was there before I had hardly gotten sprinkled. The Volvo purred to life and I sped off into the distance.

As I hit the open road my thoughts began to catch up to me, again. How hurt was she? Esme said that she had been taken to the hospital two days ago, that sounded like it matched up to the day I left. That meant that she had spent all day with him. began to shake with rage at the thought of him hitting my Bella. Would he do that? Is that why he was guarding his mind so carefully? Did he plan on hurting her? I was gripping the steering wheel too tight and quickly released it slightly and pushed the gas pedal harder. I had to get to Bella soon. As I thought about all the reasons why they hadn't called me about Bella, I neared the hospital. I parked in the first place I saw and walked at a quick, but human, pace to the front desk. The woman sitting there was turned around talking on the phone and smacking her gum. I stood as patiently as I could while I waited for her to get off the phone.

"...And then she had the nerve to call him and tell him how sexy he was. That bastard isn't sexy. He is fat, balding, and horrible in bed. Besides, he's my husband! What kind of skanky home wrecker calls someone's bastard of a husband sexy? Huh? You tell me! Needless to say, he slept on the couch last night. Mmmhm... Mmmmhmm.. I KNOW. Men..." She continued to gab on the phone as she pulled out a nail file and began to file her too-long neon nails.

I had been patient long enough. I cleared my throat loudly. She turned around and opened her mouth to say something smart, but the moment she saw me her mind went blank. "Uhm... Pearl... I'm going to have to call you back.. Mmmhm... Bye Now..." She hung up the phone and tried to sit seductively at the desk.

"How can I help you?" Her whiney voice had suddenly turned deep and what I presumed was her attempt at seductive.

"Yes, I'm looking for my fiancé, Isabella Swan." I said, stressing the fiancé part. Her face sank when she realized I had said fiancé. She sighed and nodded as she typed in Bella's name. Within seconds the results had come up on the screen. She began to read them out loud, but I could see the room in her mind. I ran quickly to the room I had seen before she could turn back. I ran up the stairs, rather than waiting on the elevator. Room 1223. I immediately found the room and listened to the room to see if Carlisle or Alice were in the room. The room was quiet so I quietly reached for the door knob taking an unnecessary deep breath when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around.

"Edward, she's resting. Let her rest." Carlisle said very business like. I just shook my head.

"No, I need to see her. I need to see her now." I insisted.

"Edward, I'm sorry. She's sleeping thanks to some medication and will not be waking up for a while. I need you to wait either in the waiting room or in my office, but I'm afraid you can't go in there." He said sternly.

"Carlisle," I said through gritted teeth, "I don't care if she's awake. I just need to make sure she's alive!" I was getting angry.

"Edward, control your anger. You will be able to go in when she wakes up." I growled through my teeth. I wanted to see her now. Suddenly Emmett and Jasper were by my side. I didn't understand it. I looked at them sideways.

_Alice Called Us_ Jasper explained in his thoughts. I shook my head angrily. "Jasper, Emmett, Please take him to my office." Carlisle demanded. I shook with rage. No one was going to forbid me from seeing Bella, not while she's lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I pulled out of Emmett and Jasper's hands with more force than they were expecting.

"Edward!" Carlisle hissed, "Don't do this. Not right now. You need to calm down, you can't be here right now; not like this." I wanted to scream, but I knew that would upset the entire hospital greatly.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry, but you can not stop me from seeing her right now." I said angrily and tried to push through him, as he was now in front of Bella's door.

"No." He said simply.

"Carlisle, MOVE!" I shouted at a slightly higher than human decibel.

That is when I heard her. I heard my angel crying and her heart monitor was racing. She was quietly sobbing as she whispered, "Please, Please top fighting. Just let him in Carlisle. Please, just stop fighting about something I've done." My heart sank. I knew then that she hadn't just fallen down a flight of stairs or tripped. Bella was hurt, and this time it wouldn't just disappear. Carlisle moved reluctantly away from the door and Jasper and Emmett's hand on my shoulders weakened. I slid out of them and into the sparkling white room. Bella was lying supine with her eyes closed. Tears were leaking down her bruised face and her entire body was covered in the thin cheap blanket.

"Bella…" I whispered, instantly by her bed. "Bella, what happened to you?" I reached out to touch her face and the moment I touched it she winced and recoiled from my touch. Her eyes still were shut and her breathing was rapid. I turned in horror to Carlisle. His eyes were falling to the floor.

_I'm sorry, Edward. She's been in this state since I got her. _I wanted to scream. What state was he talking about? Catatonia?

Her face was slick with tears and I reached forward to wipe away the tears. She flinched when I touched her but she didn't jerk away. Her face fell into my hands as she continued to sob, wincing every now and then.

"Bella?" I whispered. She just shook her head in my hands. "Bella, love, please look at me." She shook her head. "Bella, what hurts?" I tried.

Between a sob she quickly whispered, "Everything," Just loud enough for me to hear.

"Shh… I know it hurts." I cooed. "Let me look." I began to very slowly pull the cover from her body with my free hand.

"Edward!" She gasped, "Please don't."

"But Bella…" What was she keeping from me? "Bella, please, I need to see." She shook her head again and sobbed. "Bella, please talk to me. Why can't I see you?" I urged her on.

"I'm filthy. I'm so filthy." She muttered over and over.

"Isabella, hush! Don't you ever say that, again. You could never be filthy, especially not to me. Bella, please, let me see." She shook her head. "Why?"

"You'll leave me, again." She whispered so quietly even I had to strain to hear her. My heart sank and I could hardly speak.

"Bella, I promised I would never leave you again. I don't care what happens I will always be here with you. Don't you even think about me leaving, because I never will. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan and I promise that I always will. Now, please, show me what happened." I begged. She sobbed and opened her eyes for the first time. Her tear filled eyes, that were red from crying looked into mine. If looks could kill… "Please." I added in a low whisper. She nodded as she closed her eyes again.

She struggled to sit up, and before I could help Carlisle was already beside her propping her up on a pillow and pressing a few buttons to make the bed rise. She slowly reached her hand out from under the blanket and pulled it slowly down, revealing her in a paper-thin gown. Her arms were revealed first and they were covered in large and bulky handprint-shaped bruises, along with scrapes. I felt the anger inside me rage again. I felt Jasper trying to calm me down from the hall but it wasn't working. The blanket slid past her waist and her battered legs began to show. One leg was in a brace and the other was covered in bruises and scratches.

"Bella.." I whispered as my hand ghosted along her bruised body. "What did he do to you?" Tears leaked down her face and she slowly began to lift her gown, revealing cotton underwear and her black and purple stomach. "No!" I hissed. "How could he lose control like that?!" I screamed. Bella flinched and more tears slid down her face.

"H-He didn't lose control…" She muttered.

"What do you mean he didn't lose control? Of course he did! Look at you, Bella! His hands are all over you! Why would he have done that if he was in control?" I shouted.

_Edward, calm down. Now. _Carlisle demanded in his head.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have trusted him. I shouldn't have gone. I should have fought him. I should have tried harder. I'm filthy now. I'm ruined. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." She sobbed.

"Bella, what's your fault? It is not your fault that he lost control. You couldn't have fought him. Just because he lost control you are nothing near being filthy. If he lost control, then-"

"Stop!" She screamed, and then cringed in response to her own voice. "Edward," She lowered her voice, "He didn't lose control."

"But-" I interrupted.

"He didn't lose control, because h-he-" she stopped.

"What did he do to you, Bella?" I urged.

"Edward, h-he r-raped me." She whispered very lowly. I heard gasps outside the door and Bella sobbing. I felt the anger consume me and with that, I was out the door.

_Hahahah. Do you hate me yet? Sorry for the cliff hanger. I should be updating again tomorrow or the next day. I'm really not sure. I'll probably write the next chapter in detention. :P_

_Anyway, Thanks for reading._

_Now if you want another chapter you need to Review!!_


	7. He Won't Suffer, Not For What I've Done

Sorry it took me like two days to post this

_Sorry it took me like two days to post this._

_This is just the scene of Bella telling Edward she was raped, but in her point of view.  
If you skip over this chapter, you won't miss much, but read it anyway, because I think there are some good parts in it! :D_

_Thanks for the wonderful reviews! You guys are so great! _

_I definitely need someone that would be willing to read each chapter and check for stupid mistakes. I proof read a thousand times, but that's never enough! So if you're willing to help, feel free to email me or just leave me a review! Thanks!_

_Review some more!_

_Oh, I still don't own Twilight. Or the Characters. Duh._

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BPOV

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"Carlisle, I'm sorry, but you can not stop me from seeing her right now." An all too familiar voice rang through the room, muffled by the door.

_Beep….Beep…Beep…_

The hospital room was unnaturally dark and smelt of 409 and bleach. The blanket around me wasn't nearly enough to keep me warm and I was shaking. The pain medication was no longer in my system and every inch of me hurt. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to blink, and it hurt to think. Part of me wanted Edward to be lying next to me, making everything better, but the smarter half knew that the moment he found out why I was really here that he would leave. I would do whatever it takes to keep him happier longer.

"Carlisle, MOVE!" Edward's voice made me cringe. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I heard hissing and sharp growls on the other side of the door.

_Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep. _

"Please, please stop fighting." I choked out, "Just let him in Carlisle. Please, just stop fighting about something I've done." I heard the door knob begin to turn and I closed my eyes shielding me from his reaction. I pulled the blanket up higher covering my shoulders only leaving my face. I heard him whisper the moment he stepped in the door.

"Bella…" I could feel him beside my bed now. He whispered again," Bella, what happened to you?" I felt his hand move from the railing. His hand touched my face and I wanted to scream. Was he going to hit me, too? I flinched away as quickly as possible, not wanting to get used to having him here, resulting in a painful grinding of my bones. After a few moments, and more tears, Edward's hand was resting peacefully on my pillow until my breathing returned to normal. He placed his cold hand slowly on my face as he began to wipe away the tears on my face. I flinched again, but I just wanted to be close to him one last time.

"Bella, love, please look at me." He whispered. I shook my head. I couldn't let him see me like this, if my eyes were closed, he wouldn't see all of me. "Bella, what hurts?" He coaxed.

The tears were no where near stopping. I just whispered, "Everything." I had forgotten I still had a voice.

"Shh… I know it hurts." He cooed. "Let me look." I felt a slight tug on the thin blanket around me. Edward was pulling it down and trying to see what was wrong.

"Edward!" I gasped, "Please don't."

"But Bella? " The pain in his voice was very apparent. "Bella, please, I need to see." I felt my stomach sink at the sadness in his voice. I began to sob softly. "Bella, please talk to me. Why can't I see you?" He continued.

"I'm filthy. I'm so filthy." I tried to explain, but instead it came out in gasps and mumbles.

"Isabella, hush! Don't you ever say that, again. You could never be filthy, especially not to me. Bella, please, let me see." I still shook my head. He wouldn't think that once he found out why I was here. "Why?"

"You'll leave me, again." I whispered softly. I could only imagine the pain in his eyes as I had said that. He sighed.

"Bella, I promised I would never leave you again. I don't care what happens I will always be here with you. Don't you even think about me leaving, because I never will. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan and I promise that I always will. Now, please, show me what happened." I needed to see him now. I needed to see his loving eyes one last time. I opened my eyes for the first time. "Please." He whispered. All I could do was nod as more tears continued to fall.

I struggled to sit up and suddenly Carlisle was behind me propping me up with pillows and pushing buttons making the bed rise. I shrugged the blanket down around my lap and exposed my arms. They were covered in large and bulky handprint-shaped bruises, along with scrapes. I could feel his anger in the air. I lifted the blanket off of my legs resulting in a horrible chill running up my spine. I looked down at my own legs. One was bruised past recognition and the other was in a brace. I couldn't show him the rest. I couldn't keep going. I looked down at my lap. I didn't want to look at him any longer.

"Bella..." He whispered. I felt his hand ghost over the bruises and scratches and even the burns from my shower. "Jacob did this to you, didn't he?" He asked quietly. I nodded as tears leaked down my face. The easy part was over. Now I had to show him the rest. I had to let him see everything. I lifted the paper gown, revealing cotton underwear Alice had brought me and my black and purple stomach.

"No!" he hissed. "How could he lose control like that?!" He was screaming. I flinched at his voice and more tears slid down my face. I was sobbing again.

"H-He didn't lose control…" I muttered.

"What do you mean he didn't lose control? Of course he did! Look at you, Bella! His hands are all over you! Why would he have done that if he was in control?" He was shouting too loud now. I didn't know what to say.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have trusted him. I shouldn't have gone. I should have fought him. I should have tried harder. I'm filthy now. I'm ruined. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I sobbed into my hands.

"Bella, what's your fault? It is not your fault that he lost control. You couldn't have fought him. Just because he lost control you are nothing near being filthy. If he lost control, then-"

"Stop!" I screamed, why didn't he understand? I cringed from the volume of my own voice. "Edward," I lowered my voice, "He didn't lose control."

"But-" He wouldn't stop.

"He didn't lose control, because h-he-" I stopped, I didn't think I could do this, I couldn't finish this sentence.

"What did he do to you, Bella?" He urged me. I looked up at him and then tried to find a spot on the wall to focus on. When had his entire family gotten here? Everyone was in the room. Alice's face was broken and Jasper's face was consumed with grief.

"H-He r-raped me..." I whispered. There were gasps and cries and snarls all around the room, but I only focused on Edward's. Edward took off out the door as Jasper and Emmett stood shocked and Carlisle fought to keep Edward from leaving and failed miserably. In seconds, Jasper and Emmett were gone with Carlisle and Alice and Esme were at my sides. Rosalie sat on the seat near the window with her head in her hands.

"Shh... Bella, it will all be okay. You're okay, Bella." Alice cooed as I sobbed harder. She placed her cold hand on my shoulder and I jerked away. I didn't even care about the pain. Edward was gone, and he had every right to hate me.

_Oh, Yeah…_

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	8. She Needed You

Ugh

_Ugh! Sorry it's taken a little while for me to update. Writers block not so much fun. It could be the four hours of sleep I've gotten two nights in a row, but hey, who needs sleep? _

_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! You guys are fantastic._

_Keep up the great work of reviewing! _

_I promise, this story will get more… actiony? _

_It's a little slow, but hey, she just got raped, cut her some slack._

_Yeah, I still don't own twilight. I know, shocker, right?_

EPOV

"H-He r-raped me..." She stuttered.

No. Not my Bella. Not by that mutt. I had to find him. I had to kill him and rip him to shreds. I had to do it now. I sped out of the room until Carlisle caught me by the door. I fought against him and nearly had gotten out of his grip when Emmett and Jasper and grabbed my shoulders.

"Emmett, Jasper, Take him to my office, Now." Carlisle said tersely. Emmett and Jasper were basically carrying me until we reached his office a few seconds later. They stood at either side of me as Carlisle approached me.

"Edward, what has gotten into you?" He said angrily. I couldn't look at him. "Edward, Bella is sitting in that room sobbing. She has had the worst possible thing happen to her, Edward and you're just going to run off? To do what? Track him? Kill him?"

"Carlisle! I have to hurt him! I have to find him and-"

"I don't want to hear it, Edward. Bella needs you. The pack is looking for Jacob now and will call me as soon as they find him."

"I can find him better than anyone else!" I shouted.

"Edward! Jacob will be running forever. Bella will only last so long thinking that you don't want her anymore because of what he did! You heard her, she already blames herself. Bella needs you, Edward. If you really love her, you will go back to that room and help her, right now. Don't make this about a personal vendetta." He said sternly. I knew he was right. I had to calm down and I had to go back to Bella.

"You're right, Carlisle. I apologize for my behavior. Jasper, Emmett, do you mind letting me go? I need to see Bella." I said sadly. Everyone turned to Jasper. He nodded and they both let go.

I ran up to her and listened to the room I was about to walk into. "I knew it, I knew it, Alice, I just knew." Bella was sobbing. I entered the room quietly and Esme looked up to me angrily.

_Edward, she needed you._ She scolded. I felt like breaking down right there. I looked at her with apologetic eyes and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' She nodded and turned back to Bella.

"Bella, honey, what did you know?" Alice coaxed as Bella sobbed as she lay on the bed and sobbed into the blankets.

"I knew he would leave. I knew he would hate me. I don't deserve him. I never have, but especially not now. He doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't want me because I'm filthy and ruined. Alice, I knew he would leave. I knew it..." she sobbed into the thin, papery pillows. Seeing her like this killed me. I felt my nonexistent heart break.

"Bella-" Alice started. I ran beside her and looked at her, pleading for her to hand me Bella. She nodded and stood up from the bed making room for me next to Bella. I reached out to touch her, to hold her to me. She sobbed harder and recoiled from my touch.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. You should just leave. Edward, I'm ruined. I'm filthy, now. Please... just go." She begged.

"Bella," I said quietly, "Bella, look at me. Bella, I love you and you could never ever be ruined or filthy. I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I promise. I'll be right here, I'll always be right here..." She sobbed and I tried, once again, to move closer to her.

"Edward... Please..." She whispered and begged.

"Bella, please, I would never hurt you." As I reached out to touch her face Bella recoiled and winced. "Bella..." I placed my hand on her cheek as a tear slid down her face.

"Edward, stop!" Rosalie hissed. I had forgotten she was even in the room. Her face lit up the dark corner as she came out of the shadows.

"Rosalie-" I hissed, "Now is not the time for your bitter insight." With that she was out of the room. I didn't care to listen to her thoughts. I was worried about Bella and only Bella. I reached out once again to touch her face, but instead of touching it I traced her outline with my hand. She shivered.

"Edward," Carlisle began. I turned slowly to look at him, reluctant to turn from Bella. "We're going to leave so Bella can get some rest." _Take it easy on her, don't make her talk about it, yet._ I nodded and with that they were out of the room.

Bella was now lying on her side not facing me. I lay down next to her only spacing us a few centimeters apart, trying not to push her again. It had been hours since I had gotten home, and I have yet to embrace her. The only moment I touched her she was so scared.

It had been completely silent, except for a few sniffles on her part, since our family had left a few hours ago. It was well into the night when Bella started to make an effort to face me. I wanted so badly to just pick her up and hold her, but I didn't want to cause her more pain. After a few moments of struggling she managed to rotate so she was facing me. Her face was twisted in pain. Our faces were so close; I just wanted to kiss her so badly. I stared at her for what felt like hours, she conveniently avoided my stares.

"Bella..." I whispered. I needed to see her eyes, I needed to hear her voice. I needed her. Tears began to fall down her face.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered back, "I'm so, so sorry."

"Shh... No. Don't you ever apologize for this. Don't you ever blame yourself for this." I whispered even more harshly. She continued to sob as I sang her lullaby and she drifted to sleep.

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_Hey! Hey, fans of mine! I really need someone to be my Beta. I'm afraid my proofreading skills aren't up to par! Help? Send me your email and I'll be sure to start sending you each new chapter. :D_

Oh, Yeah. I'm thinking about changing the rating to T and just making the rape scene a little more teen friendly. Suggestions?

_Thanks for reading._

_Review! _


	9. That Can't Happen

_Hey Everybody!_

_Sorry this has taken me FOREVER to post._

_I had a drumline Competition and then prom. I got a total of 3 hours of sleep each night. _

_o.O -- Me  
_

_Anyway... This chapter was very... complicated... to write. _

_The next few chapters are more of filler chapters than anything and it kills me! I just want to get to the good stuff. :D_

_Please Review!_

_You guys are fantastic at this whole read and review thing!  
Keep it up!_

**_I hate that you guys make me say it over and over... I don't own Twilight. _**

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I sat in the chair next to Bella's bed anxiously waiting her awaking. I saw her begin to stir in her sleep and knew that it wasn't far off. Her eyes slowly opened and then quickly shut again. I sat there anxiously for a few minutes before I needed to see her.

"Bella." I whispered. I just wanted to see her eyes. I needed to know she was okay. "Bella, I know you're awake. Please look at me." I begged. Her eyes twitched behind her eyelids and she shook her head very slowly. "Bella... Please..." I whispered quietly. She squint her eyes like she was trying to clear away tears. Her eyes slowly opened, but since she was lying on her back she was just staring at the dusty, white ceiling. A single tear fell from her eye and slid down her cheek onto her pillow. All I wanted was to pick her up and hold her, but I knew I couldn't. I rose from the chair and stood over her, hoping she wouldn't avoid me much longer. She looked me into the eyes and her eyes quickly filled with tears as she closed them and tried to shake them away. The silence was so thick and so harsh. I wanted to say something, anything. I needed to hear her, now.

"Bella-" I began.

"I missed you." She whispered quickly, interrupting me. My tense face loosened slightly as I felt the corners of my mouth lift ever so slightly.

"Oh, Bella, I missed you so much more." I muttered as I slid my hand up to her cheek to wipe away the many traces of tears around her face. I was afraid she would pull away from my hand so I pulled it away quickly, but as I did so her hand covered mine as she pressed it against her face again. She leaned into my hand and closed her eyes. She maneuvered her face so her lips were only partly covered by my hand.

"Edward, I-I'm Sorry..." she mumbled into my hand.

I ripped my hand away and turned around to face the wall. It was like I could feel my eyes turn as dark as night. I didn't want to remember why she was sitting in this white hell any more than she did. I faced the wall and placed my forefinger and my thumb between my eyes and began to squeeze. Even this didn't relax me.

"Edward... I-I-" she just kept mumbling.

"Bella! STOP!" I shouted as I turned around facing her again. Her body began to shake and she was wincing in pain. The tears began to slip through her closed eyes. I cursed silently at myself. "Bella, Oh, Bella, I-I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry, Bella. I just hate this. I hate that you keep blaming yourself for something you had no control over. And I hate that there is nothing I can do to help you. I-I'm so sorry." I mumbled.

"Edward...I-I wish you wouldn't sit so far away." She whispered almost too quietly for me to hear.

"I don't want to upset you again." I muttered. The memory of her recoiling away from me still haunted me.

"Edward, I-I didn't mean to. I was still shocked and scared. I-I-" She breathed. Her heart monitor was racing and her breathing was erratic.

"Bella-" I tried. She was wincing and moaning. She was having an anxiety attack and I knew that I couldn't help except to try and talk her through it. "Bella, Shh, its okay. I'm right here. I'm still right here and I'm not going anywhere. Please, Bella, you need to calm down. Bella?" I grabbed her hand, waiting to see if she would react. She didn't react at all. If anything her hand loosened and relaxed. "Bella? I'm going to lie next to you, okay?" I called, making her aware of what I was doing. She didn't respond so I slowly slid into the bed, trying to move as slowly as possible. The moment I was in the bed she leaned into my chest and pulled me weakly closer to her. Her heart was still racing and tears were racing down her face.

"Bella, Shh, I need you to calm down, okay? Can you hear me? Bella, please." I begged. I held her close to my chest as she sobbed into it.

"Edward, It hurts..." She moaned quietly.

"Oh, Bella, I know, I know..." I whispered into her hair. She continued to moan into my chest. I had to do something.

"Carlisle, Please, Carlisle come quick." I said, a little louder than intended. He was in the room in a matter of seconds.

"What is it, Edward?" He said urgently before he really looked at Bella or me. His eyes widened as he saw her wincing and moaning into my chest. He checked her vitals and reached into a drawer and pulled out a syringe and placed it into the IV. I turned to Carlisle, worriedly as Bella's heart slowed and her breathing calmed and she seemed to be in less pain.

"She was having an Anxiety Attack, Edward. The pain from her breathing being too erratic and messing with her already broken rips was throwing her into shock. That should calm her down and she shouldn't be in as much pain. She will be very relaxed, but not knocked out. She will be fine." He said business like. I nodded.

"Carlisle?" I asked. He nodded in response. "When can she come home?" I whispered. In that moment, Alice walked in. Everyone turned to her and Alice as she smiled.

"She will be able to go home tomorrow, but she won't be able to take care of herself. Honestly, she won't even be able to walk for three days. That's when I rescheduled the wedding." She smiled widely, knowing she had done well for rescheduling the wedding.

"Alice-" I hissed, worried that the wedding was still too soon.

"Edward, please, trust me this once. It will be soon enough for her, and late enough for her health. Besides, I have drastically changed the set up of the back yard so she will only have a few feet to walk, rather than several yards. She will be fine, Edward." She said kindly. I looked to Bella who had been oddly quiet for someone who wasn't unconscious.

"Bella?" I called for her. She mumbled her response into my chest. "Is that okay with you?" I asked, trying to see if she is honest.

"Sooner... Better..." She mumbled incoherently.

"Edward, she seems to have taken a liking to the relaxing of the drug. She might need to sleep." Carlisle said quietly.

"Mmm...Sleep...Good..." More mumbles where emitted into my chest as she cuddled closer. I breathed deeply realizing how much I had missed that smell and that feeling.

"Sleep now, Bella." I whispered as I felt her nod off to sleep in my chest. Carlisle nodded at me and walked out of the room as his pager went off.

I turned to Alice. "Is she okay?" I muttered as I slipped from the bed, needing to pace. Alice looked so somber; it was so rare to see her like that. I felt the life drain out of me. I needed to know what would happen so I whispered, "Will she be?"

Alice shook her head as if trying to clear it. "I don't know, Edward. I don't think she knows right now. It keeps changing and re-changing." she said quietly as she viewed images of what could happen to Bella. Suddenly flashes of scenes appeared in my mind. First, Bella and I were smiling in our meadow, and we were both shining in the sunlight. Second, she was sitting in a horribly catatonic state, staring at ceiling. Then she was smiling at our wedding. And finally there was my Bella bleeding from the wrist on the floor of her shower.

"NO!" I screamed, shaking. "Alice. That can't happen." I shouted.

"Edward, quiet, Bella is sleeping. It won't happen. That was when she thought you had left. I didn't want you to see that." She said quietly. I sighed as I fell into the chair beside the hospital bed, placing my head in my hands.

"Alice, I don't know what to do..." I whispered. I was really at a loss. My Bella was lying unconscious in a hospital bed, all because of some stupid mutt. I wanted to kill him, but I never wanted to leave Bella's side again.

"It won't be easy for her, Edward. She won't just forget. She needs you and she needs us." She said calmly, kneeling beside the chair. I nodded to try and get her to understand I needed time. 'I'm sorry this happened, Edward.' She thought sadly as she left the room.

I looked up from my hands into Bella's sleeping face. Her face, while sleeping, looked full of fear. I stood up and kneeled closer to her bed.

"Jake...No...Please...Stop..." Bella's voice was so afraid. Her body was trembling and she was crying. I wanted to wake her up, but knew that there was no hope due to the medication. All I could do was sit by and watch her suffer.

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Review! The new chapter will be coming out very soon! Keep Checking in!

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	10. Will It Always Be Like This?

_I told you I would update soon! Two in one day!  
Bam!_

_I'm awesome!_

_Hahaha._

_Read and Review!_

_Disclaimer: Still don't own the characters, or the original plot. Just this story!_

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The florescent, yellow light flooded into the dark haven behind my eyelids, waking me up from the nightmares of _him_. I squinted my eyes, even though my eyes were still closed. As my body woke up, I slowly began to feel the pain seeping through my body. Everything still hurt. Images began playing in the back of my mind of how I ended up asleep again. I remembered Edward had been there when I had woken up, and after I apologized he got so angry. I remember feeling like everything was caving in. I was crying and moaning in pain. Edward called for Carlisle, and he basically sedated me. My heart sank. I vowed to myself I would stay strong for Edward, and I had let him down. I took a deep breath, trying to stabilize myself so I wouldn't start crying. I knew the moment I would open my eyes Edward would try to talk about everything. I wasn't ready to really talk about anything. I sighed in defeat, knowing I couldn't lie here forever.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward sitting quietly in the uncomfortable recliner supplied in the hospital. He smiled a sad smile as he stood up slowly.

"Hi…" I whispered, knowing he could here me just fine.

"Hello, love." He said as he kneeled next to my bed. I smiled weakly as I looked into his eyes. I winced as I shifted to look at him better. "Are you in a lot of pain?" He asked softly. I didn't want to say yes, but I knew if I didn't I would regret it. I nodded. "I'll get Carlisle." He said, standing up.

"Please…Don't go." I said as he neared the door. He stopped before he reached the door and turned around and walked back to the bed.

"Carlisle…Can you come here, please?" He said, knowing that Carlisle would be able to hear him. He turned his attention to me. "He's on his way, love. He should be here shortly." I nodded.

As if on cue, Carlisle walked in gracefully. "Good Afternoon, Bella. How are you feeling today? Are you in much pain?" He asked as he waked over to the wires surrounding the room; checking this, writing that. I nodded, answering his question about the pain. "Well, let's take care of that." He said as he pulled another syringe out of the metal drawers in the corner.

"Wait, Carlisle, I-I don't want to sleep anymore." I begged, not wanting the nightmares to come back.

"It's alright, Bella, this shouldn't make you tired." He said calmly as he put the clear liquid into the IV going into my arm. The pain dulled quite a bit as Carlisle walked over to the clipboard on the end of my bed and wrote a few things down. "Better?" He asked. I nodded. As the pain cleared I began to think clearly again. I gasped as I remembered the one person that I hadn't seen since I left for La Push. Charlie.

"Carlisle?" He looked up from his clipboard. "W-What about Charlie?"

"I have already talked to him. He arrived shortly after you fell asleep yesterday. He had to go into work this morning, or he wouldn't have left." He said calmly.

"D-Does he know?" I whispered.

"I'm afraid not, Bella. He can't know. For the protection of the pack and of us, we can't inform him or any other police." He said regrettably. I nodded. "I'm terribly sorry." He added. I shook my head.

"I don't want him to know. I don't want anyone to know." I mumbled.

"That's understandable, Bella."

"What did you tell him?" I asked, trying to clear my mind of what Charlie would act like if he knew what had happened.

"I explained that during your recent visit to La Push, you were joking around with Jacob," I winced at his name. Carlisle looked at me apologetically. "I told him that you had fallen from a short cliff and took a rough landing. When he asked why_ he_ wasn't here, I explained that he felt horrible and had to get away for a bit to clear his mind. Charlie believed it and doesn't suspect anything. Everything is taken care of." He said very professionally.

"Thanks." I muttered as I rested my head back onto the pillow. Carlisle nodded as his beeper went off. He looked at the number and began to walk towards the door.

"I'm afraid I must take this, I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes."

I nodded a thanks and he closed the door behind him. I looked at Edward sitting peacefully on the recliner, staring at me.

"Come sit closer…" I said, staring at him. He smiled slightly and moved to the bed, where he slowly laid next to me. I buried my head into his shoulder and breathed in his scent. Oh, how I had missed it. It was very quiet for a long time until he began to speak.

"Bella," I looked up from his shoulder. "We need to talk about what happened…" He said quietly. I felt my eyes sting with tears.

"Edward, Please, Not yet. I'm not ready to talk about it." I said quietly.

"But, Bella-" he countered.

"Edward…please." I begged. He nodded.

"It's not your fault, you know?" He told me.

"I know." I was glad my face was in his shoulder, because I was lying through my teeth. How was it not my fault? Jacob even said it. It was my fault. If I didn't want it to happen I should never have gone to La Push. I shouldn't have convinced Edward to let me go. I should have done something to stop him. I felt him nod.

"You get to go home tomorrow." He said quietly. I looked up from his shoulder.

"Really?" I asked, full of hope. I hated hospitals, especially when I felt like everyone was watching me.

"Yeah, Alice and I are going to be helping out for a while, to make sure that you are okay. Alice will help with the showering and such, and I will be there for everything else." He explained. I smiled at the thought of a real shower. "Alice said you will still have trouble walking, but you will do okay. She rescheduled the wedding for three days from now. She said you will be able to walk a lot better and you won't be in as much pain." He kept spitting out details. Was he just trying to cover up the awkwardness of this? Then it hit me.

He was talking about the wedding, the one that we had missed because of me; Our Wedding. That day was supposed to be special. The night was supposed to be magical, but instead, I spent it unconscious in a hospital. Even the rescheduled wedding wouldn't be the same. That night wouldn't be special all because of my stupid mistake. I felt the tears coming again.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" He asked, worried.

"I-I'm fine." I sniffled. "I'm just thinking too much." I said, through tears. He reached over and wiped off the tears and gently pulled me closer to his chest. I took a deep breath. Would it always be like this? I cried softly into his chest as he hummed my lullaby. "Edward, I'm tired again, but I don't want to sleep."

"Shh…Bella, you need rest." He whispered as he smoothed over my hair and he began to hum my lullaby. I nodded off to sleep as my one last thought hit me…

_Will it always be like this?_


	11. I felt Normal

_Hello, Everyone!_

_Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews!  
You guys are fantastic!  
_

_Sorry it took so long to get this on here.  
I had a horrible case of writers block!  
Then when I did write it my wonderful beta, Isabel (Masochism), had her power turned off!  
I couldn't have made this so perfect without her!_

_Well, I have the next two chapters done!  
But, I'm not posting the next one until I reach 80 reviews!  
Aw, don't whine. That's only 11 Away!  
Go, Go, Go! Then I'll post again!  
_

**_Disclaimer: I know what you're thinking. "This girl must obviously own all of this story and all of the characters." Well you're wrong. I just own the story plot line as of right now. :)_**

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It had been two days since I had left the hospital and every day seemed to be the same

It had been two days since I had left the hospital and every day seemed to be the same. Edward and I hardly spoke, both of us trying to avoid saying the wrong thing. Edward was constantly around me, watching my every move. Because of the constant throbbing of every inch of my body, I was still having trouble walking, but I could still walk with some help. Lately I had even been able to walk a block or two without Edward having to help.

Edward had to help me do everything. It was mortifying, yet I didn't really mind. Alice had rescheduled the wedding and all of the details for today, which is the reason I'm not quite ready to wake up. Part of me dreaded the wedding. I was hurting badly enough, but every time I thought about the wedding, I thought about how much I let down Edward-which in turn caused me to think about the one thing I avoided at all costs; _him_. The other part of me realized the wedding couldn't come soon enough. I knew the moment I was married that Edward would be taking me, and the rest of his family, to Alaska for my change. Maybe then I would finally be able to forget.

I woke up groggily to the too-bright room, illuminated by the open window, where the dull grey sky lit up the room. I sat up using the reserve energy I had left. I leaned against the wall my bed was pressed against, trying to regain energy.

"Good Morning, Bella…" His velvety soft voice called for me from the corner of my room from the rocking chair.

"Morning…" I mumbled. He was at my side in a moment, offering me his hand to help stand up. I shook my head. "Not yet, I'm still tired. Come lie with me." I said quietly.

His eyes had seemed so sad, ever since he arrived. Even this only raised a small smile. And the smile never met his eyes. He sat down on the bed next to me and ran his hand across my face, causing a slight blush to trace his hand. His hand moved to my shoulder tracing the stitches, without actually touching them. I winced anyway.

"How much does it hurt today?" He whispered.

"Not as bad as yesterday. But it still hurts." I explained truthfully.

"It'll get better." He said, optimistically. It sounded more like he was reassuring himself than me.

"Mmhm…" I nodded. "What time is it?" I asked curiously.

He looked at me sideways. "Around 11:00. Why do you ask?"

I smiled, "Silly Vampire! Today is our wedding day! You're not even supposed to be with me! Tsk! Tsk! Mr. Cullen, What horrible manners you have." I giggled.

"If you think I'm going to let you out of my sight without a fight from Alice, you are very much mistaken." He smiled as he reached across to me and kissed me sweetly on my forehead.

"Good." I said matter-of-factly.

For the first time in days, I felt normal.

In that exact moment I heard the door open and slam. "Alright, you love birds! Split it up! It's almost noon and you're not even out of bed! Out, Lover Boy! Go Home, get your stuff, and go with Carlisle! Out! Now!" Alice shouted as she ran at a human space for dramatic affect up the stairs. He smiled at me and laughed under his breath. He leaned over and brushed my hair out of my face and kissed me on the lips before he ran to the open window and gracefully jumped out.

"Bella!" She whined. "Get up! It's your wedding day! Get out of bed!" She turned her head towards the window. "And, Edward, Stop snickering and go home!" even I laughed at that. Alice grabbed my arm and began to pull me from the bed.

"Alice! Ouch! Take it easy! I'm still hurting." I said through clenched teeth as she dropped my arm.

"Sorry." She said quietly as she looked down.

"It's okay. It's getting better." She nodded in response.

"Well, can you walk?" She asked awkwardly. I smiled.

"You tell me!" I laughed.

"Let me try again. Do you FEEL like you can walk?" She clarified.

I sat up straighter in the bed. "Edward and I walked all the way to the forest and back and I didn't even ask for a break!" I said proudly. Even though my injuries had been more superficial, as Carlisle put it, some of them wouldn't be as easy to get past, the fractured wrist and the sore legs, for example.

"Yes, but Edward had to carry you half the way home because you almost passed out." She reminded me.

"Those are just details." I said sarcastically.

"Fine, you can walk, but if I see you getting even a little dizzy I'm carrying you until the ceremony!" She said sternly. I sighed in defeat.

"Fine…"

"Good! Now let's get you into the shower. Then we'll be going to my house for everything else!" Her bright smile was back on her face as she gently pulled me out of bed.

She walked with me to the bathroom where she had covered the counters with new shampoos and conditioners. There was mousse everywhere and more products I couldn't even name. She handed me each of my shower essentials and told me how to use each one. She skipped out of the bathroom as I began to look around the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and saw that the scratches on my face were still healing, but much less noticeable. The only traces of bruises where blue undertones ghosting my face. I looked to the left of the mirror and saw Charlie's razor and shaving cream he left there every morning. I hadn't seen him all morning. By now he would have offered me something to eat, volunteered to go get something for me, asked if there was anything else I needed, and asked how much pain he was in. Was he even here?

I stuck my head out the bathroom door. "Alice?"

"No, Bella," Her voice called from my room. Within seconds she was at the door. "Charlie had to go in and fill out some paperwork at the station. He'll be at my house later, though." She explained. Stupid psychic vampire. "Stop wasting time! Get in the shower!" She shrieked. I hurriedly closed the door and began to jump into the shower. I turned on the hot water and let the steam fill the room. I stepped into the water and let the hot water soak through my bruises, easing my pain. Then suddenly, just like that, the heat overcame me.

_The heat between us was too much. He was sweating. I was crying. I felt like I was going to pass out; from blood loss, or from heat, I didn't know. He was panting and his heat was filling the room. The entire room was smoggy and fool of sweat. I wanted to scream, but there was nothing left to my voice. His skin pressed against mine felt like fire and I was stuck in the middle, slowly suffocating._

"Bella!" My head snapped up as the curtain was ripped open. I was sitting on the ground of the shower with tears pouring from my eyes. When did I sit down? When did I start crying? Why was Alice here? Then it hit me; the wedding. "Oh, Bella, we need to."

I cut her off. "Alice, I'm fine! Really, I am. Just let me finish up in here. I'm fine. I promise."

"Bella-" She pleaded.

"Please." I said concisely. I forced a smile to prove I was feeling better.

"Edward would kill me, but fine. Hurry up, we don't have much time." She sighed as she helped me stand up. She walked out of the bathroom shaking her head and closed the door. The moment the door closed I jumped to change the water. I turned it to an unnaturally cold temperature. I didn't really care if I got a cold. The freezing feeling had become a safe get away. I took a deep breath and began to hurry through the shower.

On the counter Alice had left a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Oh, I loved her. Since we were just going to her house afterwards, she hadn't put up much of a fight.

Once I was ready, Alice spread some mousse through my hair and dragged me to the car to begin what was supposed to be, the perfect day. _Right._

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	12. It was only us

_The next two days flew by so fast I hardly had time to catch my breath_

_Great Job Reviewing, you guys!  
Keep it up!!_

_(seriously, I was at school for 6 hours, I came back and had twenty something reviews! It made my day!)  
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_This chapter is pretty long. I hope you like it!_

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_**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight.**_

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We got into her Porsche as we rushed over to the Cullen house. I stumbled into the house, realizing I was suddenly hungry. I headed for the kitchen and reached for the only cabinet containing food. I grabbed the box of pop tarts and ran up to the room as Alice yelled for me. I carefully walked up to her room and was shocked to see Esme, Rosalie and Renee all having a perfectly nice conversation. My heart jumped. Renee was here!

"MOM!" I yelled. Renee looked up and gave me the biggest smile. She ran up and hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. I winced underneath her and then moaned.

"Oh, Bella! What happened?" She shouted back.

"I-I fell…" I mumbled. I felt the blush rising in my cheek. Rosalie smiled numbly.

Renee hugged me again, with a much lighter grip. While she hugged me she whispered into my ear, "Bella, you have a wonderful family, here. They seem amazing. I'm so happy you found them." I blushed as I pulled away. She smiled wider and spoke louder so everyone could hear. "Bella, you're getting so old. I'm so happy for you." She hugged me again and ran and sat on Alice's unused bed. She patted the spot next to her and we sat there for over an hour just catching up. Every now and then I caught Renee catching a tear from her eye.

I sighed looking at the cosmetic store laid out in the room. "Okay," I exhaled. "Where to first?"

"Actually, Bella, Edward left a little surprise for you, and I think you should open it first." She winked. Great, I was going to cry, why else would she make me wait?

She handed me a box wrapped in white paper with a blue ribbon. I slid the ribbon off and began tearing away at the paper. It was another jewelry box. I sighed at the sight of it. He knew I hate when he buys me things. I hate gifts and I hate surprises. Why didn't he tell me I was supposed to get him gifts? I sighed angrily as I saw a white envelope under the box. There was a note attached to the bottom so I grabbed the note before continuing to the jewelry.

_My Dearest Bella, I'm sure you have yet to open the box. Please, don't be angry that I got you another present. I know you hate when I buy you stuff, but technically I didn't buy this. You said that hand-me-downs were okay, right? Just think of this as another hand-me-down, Okay? I want you to open the box and then read the rest of this letter. Please? _

I stared at the paper until my eyes lost focus. He hadn't even finished the letter to let me spoil the surprise. I sighed as I opened the box. I didn't even want to look in it. I closed my eyes as it snapped open. I heard 3 very excited gasps and one bell-like laugh. I opened my eyes and felt the tears welling up in my eyes. It was a very plain, very perfect golden locket hanging from a small and fragile looking chain. I pulled the locket from its container and stared at it closer. In the left side of the heart was the initials EM and on the right side was another set of initials I didn't recognize. IMMC. I stared at the heart in my hand and noticed that there was another card in the box. I laughed to myself as I pulled it out.

_I told you, Bella, It was a hand-me-down. As you have probably noticed, my mother's initials are engraved on here. I took this and had your new initials engraved on here as well. Isabella Marie Masen Cullen. Bella, thank you for making me your husband, and for loving me, even when I asked you not to. I love you so much, and you are so beautiful. You have completed my life, Bella. Without you, I would be nothing. _

_Love always, Edward. _

_P.S. Don't forget to look inside the locket._

I was still in shock that those were my initials while I opened the locket. I stared at the two pictures in front of me. My eyes were pouring over as I looked in to the locket. There was a picture of Edward holding me and smiling on one side and a picture of our family on the other. Some how they had even managed to get me in the picture. I was so shocked I didn't even care how they did it. I started crying harder as I thought about how much I didn't deserve him. I walked quickly up and hugged Alice.

As I held her in a tight embrace she whispered, "Bella, don't even think about it. You deserve him and so much more. Today isn't a day to doubt yourself." The tears continued to fall as I moved to hug my mom, then Esme, and finally Rosalie.

She hugged back and I was shocked. She leaned into my ear and whispered, "Bella, I-I need to talk to you later, but not until after the wedding. Okay? And just for the record, he doesn't deserve you." I was shocked. Rosalie thought that? What did she want to talk about? I didn't want to think about it.

After my eyes had finally dried and I had got over the shock, I looked up at the clock. It was already going on 1:30. The wedding was less than 5 hours away.

"Okay, Alice. You're in charge here. What's first?" I was excited for the first time in weeks about this wedding.

"Make-up and Nails!" Alice squeaked. She was so excited. "I'm going to be doing your make-up. Emse is doing your nails. Renee, do you mind doing her toes?" She asked politely, Renee seemed honored, she was never very great at painting nails, but if Alice allowed it, it must be okay. "And after your make-up and nails are done, Rose is going to do your hair." I was shocked. Rose was going to help? Maybe she didn't hate me after all. A glimmer of hope consumed me.

"Here, Bella." She sat a large chair out in front of me. She commanded me to sit and they all immediately began working away on my make up. I never knew how long a simple make over could take until I sat there for over an hour. Alice finally sighed happily as she stepped away. I took a glance at the clock and it was already 3 o' clock. How was time passing so fast? "Rose! You're turn!"

Rosalie smiled at me as she stood in front of me and pulled my hair out from its messy bun. I blushed, realizing how pathetic I looked next to her. She instantly began straightening and curling things. I felt her pin my hair back several times and then start on an entirely different section of hair. It took a lot longer than I had expected for my hair to be done. Almost an hour and a half later my hair was done. I stood up as I tried to walk over to the mirror. Alice jumped in front of me.

"No, Bella. You can't look until you're in your dress. Hurry up, now. I'm so excited for this." She led me over to her oversized closet and led us all into the closet. There was a mannequin covered in a sheet with what seemed to be a wedding dress underneath. Alice put her hands in front of my face as she asked Rosalie to remove the sheet. Rosalie must have done what she asked because out of nowhere there was a silent hush that covered the room. Then I heard my mom sniffle and I heard Esme praise Alice's decision. I begged Alice to let me see and she finally put down her hands. My mouth fell open and I stared at the dress for what felt like forever.

The dress was a clean white silk dress. There were no sleeves and had crystal beading stitches around the chest. The dress draped perfectly around the waist and flared out at the hip. Although, I had never dreamed about a wedding dress, if I had, I would have chosen this one. It was perfect. It was classy enough to be modern, yet could have easily fit in when Edward's mother married his father. I threw my arms around Alice, being very careful not to smear my make up or cry. Rosalie and Alice managed to fit me into the dress without messing up my hair. I shouldn't have been surprised, but like always, I was.

"Bella? Are you ready to look in the mirror?" Alice chimed as she pulled me from my thoughts.

"YES!" I shouted, more excited than I had meant to. Everyone laughed as they pulled me over to the mirror. As I walked up I didn't recognize the reflection in the mirror. The girl, no, the woman standing in front of me was beautiful. She looked perfect and beautiful in every way. This couldn't be me. I reached up and touched my face to make sure it was me. There weren't any blue undertones to my face. There were no bruises or scars. The scrapes were covered artfully and the stitches on my neck were covered beautifully with cascading pieces of hair.

I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to sit in front of a mirror for another hour fixing my make up. I sighed as I hugged Alice and Rosalie once again. Rosalie even hugged back like a sister would. I smiled at the change of pace. I looked around and realized there was only one hour till the ceremony. Everyone gave my mom and me some privacy so she could get ready as they all went to change at a more vampire speed. My mom kept looking at me in amazement, and I couldn't blame her. I still didn't believe it when I saw my reflection. After a little less than an hour I heard Alice tapping on the door.

"Bella? Renee?" She sang, "Are you two ready? The ceremony is ready to start!" My heart pounded as I nodded at my mother to signal it was time.

We walked out of the room together and Esme took my left arm as Renee took my left arm, as I traveled down the stairs. I could hardly be trusted without heels; I didn't blame them for taking extra measures now. I looked up at the double doors, which led out to the backyard, where the reception was being held. I saw Charlie anxiously awaiting my arrival at the bottom of the stairs. Jasper was sending out waves of calm, but he seemed overly tense. I wrote it up to the fact that he was probably being hit by so much anxiety he might be the first vampire to have a panic attack. Alice walked over to Jasper as he took her hand. I saw my mom smile at me and walk out the doors to sit next to Phil. I saw Rosalie smile sweetly to me as she quickly ran out the doors. All to fast, the wedding march began to play as Alice and Jasper glided into their places at the left and right of the podium. Charlie looked down at me one more time with tears in his eyes. I smiled at him and squeezed his arm tight.

"Don't let me fall!" I whispered as I hugged him one last time. "I Love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, Bella." He managed to spit out.

I grabbed his arm in the traditional wedding way as I heard my cue. As the double doors opened for us I saw Edward's perfect face at the altar, but something was wrong. I shot him a confused glance. He frowned. _No frowning on the wedding day!_ I thought. Then I noticed, as I stepped out the doors. Suddenly as I began to walk to the pace of the wedding march I saw why the entire Cullen family looked so tense. No, not him; not here; not today. I felt my breathing shorten and my heart flutter. His eyes were sinister, his smile twisted. Just like when he left me bleeding in the garage. I felt tears leak down my eyes. Edward's face dropped more as _he _laughed. Edward turned around to look at Emmett and muttered something I couldn't hear, nor could anyone outside the Cullen family. We were all the way up the aisle when Charlie stopped.

I looked up at the podium as I heard a familiar voice ask who was to be giving me away. Emmett was standing behind the stand looking very... mature? I tried to smile at him and he shot a sympathetic smile back. Charlie stepped forward, as did Edward.

"Her Father and her Mother do." Charlie said with pride. He handed me off to Edward like it was a trade. Edward took my hands in his and led me the rest of the way to the altar. I stared at Edward; even with the tense look on his face he looked more perfect than ever. His face would put a god to shame. Emmett's voice boomed as the ceremony started. Everyone was laughing, and I had no idea why. Emmett must have made a joke. I looked at Edward and everything in the background began to fade as I got lost in Edward's eyes as he whispered to me.

"Bella, please don't cry. You are safe right now. Nothing can happen to you. It's about you and me today. I love you and I won't let him touch you ever again." His whisper was so soft and sad. I nodded as I sniffled.

"Now, it's time for the vows you each prepared for each other. Bella? Would you like to start us off?" I tried to smile to myself and blushed trying to remember my vows. Even now he's gorgeous.

"Edward Masen Cullen, from this day, until forever, I take you as my best friend and my husband. I love you. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of eternity." Edward's face was awestruck. I was just surprised I hadn't stuttered. It came out so smoothly. Alice leaned over and slid the ring into my hand. I took Edward's hand in mine and slid the gold band around his ring finger. "With this ring, I thee wed." I took a deep breath as I tried not to ruin the make up with my tears of happiness.

In that moment, nothing could touch me. Nothing could hurt me. Not even _he_ could touch me. It was only Edward and I.

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_The vote was cast, the button you should now press is periwinkle! Tuh-Duh!  
Thanks guys! :P_

_Anyway. This question is going to come up a lot in the next few chapters from you guys so, I think I should just answer it now._

_Q: Why is Jacob so cruel/mean/un-jacob-like?_

_A: Okay, so you've probably been wondering this since he, well, raped Bella. Well, when Jacob disappeared in Eclipse I imagined him running off to think. But when he ran off, he began to go crazy. (I mean if you spend months alone, as a wolf, I'm sure you would go crazy) Anyway, since he ran away and went crazy, he became a different person and became crazy with love for Bella. So when he finally decided to take what he wanted, he completely changed and went to the dark side! Sorry the explanation sucks._

_I hope you understand?_

_Another 14 reviewsNew Chapter! (That's 110 Reviews for the entire story!)_

_You all did so well yesterday, keep it up!_

_Thanks again, guys!_

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	13. Today was Our Day

_Wow, guys! Thanks for all the amazing reviews!  
You guys are the best!_

_This is the wedding in Edward's POV. I always fear I can't do him justice. He is Edward Cullen, after all._

_Anyway. Review. Tell me how I did!  
_

**Disclaimer: You should know this by heart.**

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--

EPOV

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Today was the day we make it official; she is mine, and I am hers, for the rest of our lives. I smiled to myself as I pulled into the driveway of our house back from Bella's house. I ran in and took a shower and as I got out of the shower I looked at my phone. It was flashing and read: _NEW MESSAGE: FROM ALICE: STOP TAKING SO LONG. WE'LL BE THERE IN LESS THAN 30 MINUTES. IF YOU ARE THERE WHEN I GET BACK, I WILL CANCEL. _I laughed to myself at Alice's protectiveness of this wedding. No matter what had happened the past week. No matter what would happen in the future or what we would face. Today was Bella's and my day.

I quickly threw on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt and some tennis shoes. I grabbed my tux and my shoes and ran out the door. I dropped the stuff in the Volvo and ran back in. I wanted to see my family before I left again. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting next to each other on the couch while Esme and Carlisle were curled up in the love seat. Jasper politely excused himself; he wasn't too fond about all the giddiness in the room. Between Emmett and me, Jasper was going crazy.

Emmett's thoughts were like watching, or listening, to a bad sitcom. _What if I mess up? What's gonna happen? Edward and Alice will kill me. Hell, Bella would kill me. Why did Bella ask me to do this? Why did I agree? How is Bella so damn persuasive? Just a stupid little 'pleeeease' and a little puppy dog smile. She's like a damn puppy. And I couldn't resist her only wedding request. I mean, come on. It's not every day your vampire brother falls in love with a human girl willing to lose everything just to be with him for eternity. He's lucky to have found her. She's perfect for him. So, okay, wedding. I have to remember my lines. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honor this man, and this woman who has graciously fallen into his life, and their commitment in holy matrimony. Yeah that's good. Jokes are good. Bella won't get mad will she? Will Edward? No, he couldn't it's too funny. Blah blah blah. Weddings are sacred. Vows. Rings. Presentation. Kissing. Pictures. Reception. The wedding night. Oh, no wedding night for either of them. I forgot. I can't believe that happened to her. I bet he's disappointed about that whole no sex thing. _And with this last statement I let out a low growl. _Shit. Sorry Edward. I-I didn't mean it. I really am sorry. I really want her to be okay_ I nodded at him. I was in way too good of a mood to let that bother me.

"So, Edward, are you nervous?" Esme asked, sweetly.

"Not so much nervous. I'm quite ready for it to be time, though." Esme nodded as Rosalie pointed out the time. Shoot, I had three minutes to get out of here. Carlisle was coming with me and Emmett and Jasper were going to stay here to direct early guests. Of course, all the girls were staying to help Bella get ready.

"Carlisle, are you ready?" I asked.

"Of Course," We both sped to the car as I remembered the box I had left in the back seat.

"Shoot. Hang on, Carlisle. I have to put this up in Alice's room. I'll be right back." I ran upstairs and placed Bella's wedding gift on the dresser. I ran back down and jumped in the car with Carlisle. We were heading to the clearing where I could easily wait for the wedding. We reached the forest and got out. I grabbed all my wedding essentials as we ran to the clearing. I sat down on a log in the middle of the circle of trees. I laid the bag on the ground and waited for the silence to be broken.

"So, Edward, What'd you forget that was so important you risked an Alice meltdown?" He laughed to himself.

"Well, I gave Bella her wedding gift and I wanted her to have it for the ceremony." He raised his eyebrows as a sign to explain more. "Well, before she died, as you know, my mother left me all of her things, including her jewelry. Well, her ring was my mother's, and I thought for her wedding gift, I would give her something else of my mother's. I gave her the golden locket with her initials on it. I also took it and got Bella's new initials put onto it to. I left her a note in it and told her how much she meant to me. I just wanted her to have it for the wedding.." I looked down at the ground anxiously. I couldn't wait to see Bella.

"She will love it, Edward." I nodded and smiled.

I started to think about what today had in store. After the actual ceremony were pictures. Bella should be pleased about that. _Right…_ Then came the reception, I was actually looking forward to it. Then it would be time for Bella to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee. This goodbye was going to be long. My heart ached as I thought about Bella having to say goodbye to them. Why was she so willing to say goodbye to them for me? I wish she didn't have to give up so much for me. Next would have been our night, but that has become an impossibility.

"Edward, is everything all right? You seem very anxious." He said it with such compassion; I had forgotten he wasn't my actual father.

"I'm worried, Carlisle. Tonight was supposed to be our night, and now I can't even give her what she desired most before her…change. I can't give her what she wants and I'm scared she will regret her decision. I don't want what he did to her effect us." I worried aloud.

"Edward, Bella loves you. She wanted to marry you to prove her bond to you, not so she could make love with you. If you love her, and she loves you, you both won't mind waiting. And as a doctor, I suggest you wait until after the change, so that you can be guaranteed that she is healed." I nodded at his advice, "You should talk to Bella about this tonight. Bella will understand. I believe she is feeling the same way. You both are very much in love and this is a silly thing to worry about."

"Thank you, Carlisle. Do you know when we will be leaving for Alaska?" I asked.

"Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper will all be leaving for Alaska after the wedding, but Esme and I will stay behind and wait until morning to set out. This way you can feel safe that nothing will happen to Bella while it is only the two of you." He confirmed. I nodded and thanked him again. I looked at the time and it was already going on 4 o' clock.

"Shall we start getting ready?" I asked. He nodded and we each grabbed our bags and got ready. I had an hour or two to kill while I was waiting. "Carlisle, do you mind if I go talk to Charlie?" I asked

"Not at all, I need to get back to the house soon, anyway. Esme and Alice are expecting me back soon. Take your time, son. You have another hour and a half to kill." I smiled and nodded as I rushed off. I got into the Volvo and sped to Charlie's house. I arrived at the small house and stepped out. I could hear Charlie inside.

_That stupid Cullen kid better not hurt her. I'd shoot him. I'd hunt him down and shoot him, if he hurt my Bella again. Why did she take his sorry ass back? I don't like that kid. He just left Bella He deserted her and left her. Now he's going to come back and just marry her? Then what? Get her pregnant and just leave again? Where's my shotgun? I need to be sure I have that and bullets, lot's of bullets_._ Besides she's already hurt. How dare he even have the audacity to still marry her three days after a tragic fall?_ I sighed listening to his internal rant about me. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I didn't even have to listen to Charlie's thoughts to realize how surprised he was that I was at the door._ Why are you here? If you think for one minute you're going to leave Bella at the Alter and you want me to tell her, well you have another thing coming. My shot gun! What do you want? _

"Hello, Charlie." I said.

"Mmhm, shouldn't you be at the house? Getting ready for your wedding?" He asked angrily.

"Actually, Alice kicked me out. I can't see Bella till the ceremony, so they kicked me out until a few minutes before it begins. I just thought I'd come over and talk to you, before it began." _I still don't like him._

"Come on in." He muttered. He showed me over to the living room as he sat in the overstuffed chair and I took a seat on the couch. "Is there anything specific you wanted to talk about?" _Like why the hell you two are getting married and neither of you are even in college yet? _

"Actually, sir, there is. Well, I know you're not exactly fond of me." _Damn, Right I'm not fond of you._ "Well, I needed a chance to tell you how much I love Bella. Sir, I would rather die than ever hurt Bella, again. She is my life and even while we were gone, she was all I could think about. She is my everything, and I only want to make her happy. And I know we're so young, but I will take every opportunity the world gives me to profess my love for your daughter and I want to show that I'm serious about never leaving her again, Sir." I took a deep breath and hoped Charlie would believe me.

_Maybe I really haven't given him enough credit. If he didn't love her, why would he marry her? It's not like the rushed into it and went to Vegas. And he sure does have some guts comin' over here and talking to me._ "Well, what do you guys plan to do after the wedding?"

I smiled a little, realizing I might have finally got to Charlie. "We plan on going up to a cabin we own for our honeymoon. And since the semester starts in a few weeks, I thought we might go ahead and head up there. We own a cabin up there as well, so we won't have to worry about living in the dorms. My brothers and sisters also will be attending that university and Carlisle and Esme found jobs near the campus. So our entire family is moving with us. I know it seems silly, but, our family is hard to separate."

"Actually, it sounds great. I'm glad to see that your family means so much to you." He was genuinely surprised and happy.

"Thank you, sir. It's about time for me to get down to the house. I'll leave you to get ready for the ceremony. Goodbye, sir."

"See you, Edward." He said. _He's really not so bad... _I smiled as I ran out and jumped in the Volvo.

It was getting closer and closer to the time for our wedding. I drove slowly to the house and Carlisle and Jasper greeted me. They led me to the back yard and told me to start getting ready. I looked over to see Emmett and Rosalie sitting on the porch. I assumed this meant that Bella was done getting ready. I heard Rosalie and Emmett talking as I walked over to them.

"Baby, don't be nervous. You'll do perfectly fine, Really!" She kissed him on the cheek as they both looked at me. _Edward, man, please don't kill me if I slip up._ He begged me.

"Emmett, I'm sure you'll do fine. If Alice is allowing you to do the ceremony, you'll be fine." I smiled at him and he seemed even more nervous.

_It's just so weird to see you so happy, Edward. It's cool, but weird. _

"Hah, Thanks Emmett." I smiled even bigger.

Guests started filling up the seats in our backyard. Soon I heard Charlie arrive and I heard Alice calling for Bella. Music began filling the backyard as my signal to take my place at the altar. Emmett was standing in the center of the beautifully crafted arch. I stood to the right waiting for my Bella to come walking down the isle. I looked at the bride's side of the seats and saw Jessica, Mike, Angela and Ben. They all smiled politely, except Mike of course. I smiled back at them and waited for Bella.

Guests continued to pour into their seats when I began to smell a familiar, disgusting smell. It smelt like disgusting, filthy, wet dog. Everyone in my family looked up as Jacob approached the scene. Not him, not today, not here. I tensed up and in seconds my hands were in fists and the entire family was standing behind me. He walked over glaring at all of us and sat down in the back row. Emmett and Jasper were on each side of me holding my arms while also snarling. Carlisle had his hand on my shoulder, trying to keep me from jumping him now.

_Tell you're brothers to chill out. I'm here on invitation, remember, leech? You attack me, and it's all over. If you don't die, you'll get locked up forever. You won't even have Bella anymore. I'll be sure of that. Don't start a war, bloodsucker. _I felt my fists tighten. Jasper hit me hard enough to make me take a deep breath and as soon as I had calmed down the Wedding March began to play I had to relax; for Bella. I saw Alice and Rosalie tense up the moment they stepped outside.

_Edward, I'm sorry! I didn't know he would be here. I thought it would be Sam and Emily. Are you okay?_ She looked so anxious. I just forced a smile at her and nodded. I saw her relax slightly as she tried not to glare at him. She glided in to place as the Maid of Honor. Next I heard Rosalie.

_What is the mutt doing here? Is he here to start a fight? Edward, I can't have him here. He needs to leave. If he's looking for a fight, he's going to get one. Why is he here? Please, Edward, are we going to do _something_?!_ She looked angry. I shook my head and whispered that she needed to calm down for Bella. She heard what I said and nodded. A pathetic smile broke across her face as she saw Emmett standing at the altar. _He looks so funny up there, doesn't he? _She asked me. I just smiled and nodded.

I heard the wedding march play Bella's cue and I saw the two glass doors open. Charlie led Bella down the steps into the yard as everyone stood up and turned around to face her. All the anger I felt towards Jacob faded away as I saw my Bella. All that was left was my anxiety for her and my fear that she would break apart. I could see how anxious she was and how nervous and happy Charlie was. If I was physically able to cry, I would be. She looked more than perfect as she was led down the aisle. Her eyes were lit up as she saw me, and her eyes made me smile even wider. The wedding march began to play her cue and she looked to her left. _No…_I thought. Her body tensed as I heard him laugh sinisterly. Tears formed in her eyes and Charlie was almost dragging her.

Charlie approached me and handed Bella over to me. I could see her focusing on not falling as she walked up to the rose covered arbor. I got lost in her fear-struck eyes just as Emmett made a joke about Bella falling into our lives. Everyone snickered knowing how clumsy she was. She seemed to not notice. Even Emmett's voice, normally joyous and boisterous was full of anger.

Her eyes were laced with tears. I wanted so badly to reach out and wipe them away, but I didn't want to make a scene. As she gazed into my eyes I whispered, "Bella, please don't cry. You are safe right now. Nothing can happen to you. It's about you and me today. I love you and I won't let him touch you ever again." My heart sank. She nodded and I placed a smile on my face for her sake. She smiled slightly.

Emmett's voice boomed through my thoughts again. "Now, it's time for the vows you each prepared for each other. Bella? Would you like to start us off?" She blushed as he called her name, pulling her out of her thoughts, I assume.

"Edward Masen Cullen, from this day, until forever, I take you as my best friend and my husband. I love you. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of eternity." Her face was perfect and her eyes brimmed with tears as she took my hand in hers. Alice handed her the ring and she slid the gold band onto my finger as she said softly, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Edward?" Emmett's voice boomed. I shook myself out of her eyes.

"Isabella Marie Swan, from this day on, I choose you to be my wife. To live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and hold you in my arms; to be joy to your heart, and food for your soul; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you, to be the most that I can. I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad. I promise to solace you when you are downhearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my body; to mirror you with my soul; to share with you all my riches and honors; to play with you as much until our last breath; and, still loving each other sweetly and gladly, our lives shall come to an end." I felt my voice tremble as I took her warm hands into mine as I felt her shiver slightly. Jasper handed me the ring as I slid it onto her finger. A tear slid down her face. "With this ring, I thee wed." Her eyes filled with tears again as she looked down at the gold band tracing the engagement ring. I reached up and wiped away the tears.

"By the power vested in me, by the state of Washington. I now pronounce you, Husband and Wife." I stood there entranced in Bella's gaze. I heard Emmett say, "Come on, Edward, and don't make me say it. Just kiss her already!" Everyone laughed and even I smiled. I leaned over and kissed her. I felt her knees go weak and I felt to world fade around me. I pulled away as she sighed and laid her head on my chest.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present you, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Masen Cullen."

There was a low, quiet growl in the crowd and my entire family turned to look at Jacob. I whispered under my breath, "Don't start anything. Just let it go for now." I told them. They all listened and mildly relaxed again.

The wedding march began to play again and Bella and I walked down the aisle into the house. Alice and Rosalie began to direct everyone into the tents as I lead Bella up to the stairs. I lifted her up and kissed her passionately on the lips. I heard Alice whining to the photographer and apologizing for us being late. I broke the kiss as Bella groaned.

"Come on, Love. It's time for pictures. Alice is about to kill us." She sighed as she leaned against me and I held her closer.

"Edward, I-I can't go back out there. Not with him." She whispered into my chest. Anger rose in my chest.

"Bella, that mutt will never touch you. Do you understand me? With every fiber in my being I will protect you and I will never let him near you. He will get what's coming to him, I swear by it. Today is about you and me and this is the day that I make you mine and you make me yours. I am yours forever and we will never be apart again. Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, I love you and you are mine." Her eyes filled up with tears as she fell into my chest.

"Edward, I love you." She whispered. I held her closer. Alice was outside the door waiting. As Bella began to stand on her two feet she ran in.

"Bella, your make up is atrocious! Let me fix your eyes…" She shrieked. In seconds she was in front of Bella and fixing her make up. In a few minutes Bella was done and we were ready for the pictures. I walked with her holding tightly to my arm. I helped her down the steps as we neared the area for pictures.

The photographer set up all of his equipment and cameras and Bella sighed, "Only for you, Edward, would I be willing to take so many stupid pictures." I laughed and kissed her on the lips as she blushed. Today was our day.

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	14. Just Take Me Home

_Seriously, you guys are the best._

_133 Revies?! That's amazing! Thank you so much if you have reviewed._

_I've heard everyone is crying and starting to hate Jacob (Mwahaha). Trust me, it will get happier. (But you won't ever like Jacob again in this story :D )_

_This chapter is quite sad, though. I'm not gonna lie._

_The next chapter will come out when you hit... 150 reviews._

_Hah! Try and beat that in less than a day! _

_Can't do it? Good! Because I still have to send my Beta the next chapter "P_

_Hope you like it! (We're back to Bella's point of view)  
_

**_Disclaimer: Can I stop saying I'm not Stephanie Meyers yet?_**

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Edward led me out into the backyard where our families waited for us for pictures

Edward led me out into the backyard where our families waited for us for pictures. After a good hour of taking pictures in every combination possible we all headed to the tent. It was close to 9 o clock as we approached the tent and Edward and I were the last to go in. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. We walked in the large, candle-lit tent as everyone cheered for us. We sat down at our table as the clapping subsided. Alice called everyone to get something to eat from the buffet. Everyone gratefully stood up and ran to the buffet.

"Hungry, love?" His velvet voice asked. I had to think about it, I realized I was so hungry I could scream.

"Yes!" I said too quickly. He jumped up and told me to stay seated. I did as I was told. When I looked up, I realized that no one was at my table. All of my new family had gone to direct the guests and mingle politely and my parents had gone up to actually get food. Before I could look up again, Edward was there, holding a plate of food for me. I ate it happily as he greeted the guests that would stop by and congratulate us. I felt like a pig. Any time someone would come to say 'Hi' I would just nod like an idiot with my mouth full and Edward would speak. I looked ridiculous, no doubt. Soon after my plate was finished I heard the DJ announce it was time for our first dance. It felt like my heart had stopped. More than surprises, I hated dancing. I couldn't even walk in these heels, let alone dance!

"Relax, love, it's all in the leading." He whispered to me, as he carefully pulled me to the center of the floor. "Put your toes on mine, trust me" I stepped onto his toes and he placed his hand at the base of my back supporting me and held my hand in his free hand. I placed my free hand on his shoulder as he carried me around the floor. After we got into a pattern I realized what song we were so gracefully dancing to. It was my song. I listened more intently as I felt my eyes fill with tears. I looked up at Edward and smiled. "I told you it was easy." He said softly as my song came to an end. Everyone clapped as they all took their place on the dance floor. Edward and I walked off, oddly graceful.

We reached the table and I sat down. The rest of the reception was rather nice. It went by quickly and even the cake eating was fun, especially on my part. I knew he wouldn't enjoy eating it, so when I fed him I conveniently missed his mouth and spread it all over his perfect face. He laughed loudly and wiped it cleanly off his face. Eventually it was time for everyone to start leaving. I was entirely grateful for this, seeing as how I was still anxious. Jacob was still lurking around. I knew he was watching us. Waiting. Charlie and Edward were engulfed in something that looked very serious and Esme and Renee were walking in talking about Esme's garden. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Phil and Jasper walked in laughing. Alice pulled me aside as I saw both my families having a somewhat good time.

"Um, Bella, I don't know how to tell you this, but, well, when you walk Renee and Charlie to their cars, I kind of see your future disappear. Jacob will be out there. Maybe you shouldn't go out there." She looked worried. My heart dropped. He was waiting for me to be alone.

"Edward thought I would want to do this alone. I need him out there. I need all of you out there." My voice was shaking. Would he have the means to kill me, even with the Cullens? Would ht rest of the pack be waiting as well?

"Of course, Bella," She hugged me tight. "You are part of the family and not one of us will leave you. We will all be positioned around you. You will be fine. I promise." She smiled sadly as she took my hand and ran me inside. My new family was sitting gracefully on the couch and Alice went to join them as Edward stood up. He walked over and placed his hand on mine and we walked over to Phil, Renee, and Charlie standing near the door.

"Edward, Take care of her." Charlie demanded.

"Always, sir." He replied. Charlie nodded approvingly.

"Welcome to the Family, Edward." Renee said as she walked up and hugged him.

"Thanks, Renee." She let go and walked next to Phil.

"Goodbye, Edward." Charlie said as he extended his hand.

"Bye, Charlie." Edward replied as he shook his hand. Charlie pulled him into a quick, but family, hug. Edward smiled knowing he had won the battle.

My parents looked at me with tears in their eyes. "I'll walk you guys out." I turned to Edward as my parents walked to the door, I inconspicuously whispered in his ear, "Please go with me, the rest of the family will be out there, too. Alice will explain." Edward's fists tightened and his grip around me stayed tight. He knew. I walked out the door with Edward protectively holding my hand and waist.

We got to Phil and Renee's rental car first. She put her arms out in front of her and I wiggled out of Edward's grip. She didn't let go for a good few minutes. I didn't want to let go either. I knew I wouldn't see her for years or maybe even ever. She finally let go of me as she looked down at me. Both of our eyes were filled with tears. We laughed as we wiped the tears from our eyes. She hugged me again really quick and let go. Phil walked up next and hugged me tight.

"Stay safe, Bella." He said as he climbed into the driver's seat of the Ford Focus. He had no idea what safe meant. Renee stood there looking at me for a while.

"Bella, you seem so happy. You're absolutely glowing! It's like you found your other half. I'm so happy for you. I love you so much! Don't you dare forget to call after you get to Alaska! Okay? Enjoy your Honeymoon!" She hugged me tightly again. "Ooh. I love you so much. You know that?" I heard her sniffle again as let go. I felt my eyes fill with tears again. "Bye, Bella!" She called as she ran in and got in the car with Phil. I watched the car drive off as I waved.

"I guess this is goodbye, Bells." Charlie said, sadly.

"Don't be silly! It's just 'see you later!'" I corrected. He smiled and hugged me tighter than Renee.

"I love you, kid. You know that?" I nodded my head as I felt the tears stinging more and more. "You moving up here is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so glad you moved up here. I'm gonna miss you so much. You both seem really happy and Edward is a good man." I was shocked. I felt the tears pouring over now. Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind. I smiled as he placed his head on mine. "I'm glad you guys are happy, Bella. I really am. I love you so much." He hugged me again and stepped back.

"A-Are you going to be okay without me? How will you eat?" I asked. He laughed thinking it was a joke.

"Are you kidding? Look at all the food Alice gave me! I looked over and surely enough, the entire back seat of the cruiser was filled with Tupperware containers filled with wedding food. "Besides, Bells, I ate before you moved up here. I won't like it, but I'll survive without you." He smiled as I smiled back. He climbed into the cruiser as he said, "Hey, Bella, good luck in Alaska. Be safe. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad!" I called as he closed his door. I waved as he drove off. I felt the tears pouring down my face and I made them stop when I remembered that Jacob was waiting for me. I began squinting to try and find his silhouette in the shadows. Edward tightened his grip around me and spun me around and he was standing only a few feet away from me. I gasped and took a step back.

My voice was gone.

"You made a mistake, Bella." He said warningly. He was pacing in a menacing manner.

"W-What are y-you talking about?" I asked. Edward was the only thing holding me up. My knees were weak and my eyes were brimming with tears.

"What do you think I'm talking about?" He yelled. I fell into Edward. "You refused me, so I took what I wanted. You still refused me and now, Bella, you will pay. He won't love you after he changes you because he'll realize what a whore you are. He'll throw you to the side and when that happens, when he leaves for one second, I will be there… waiting."

I felt my face grow hot and I felt the tears pouring out again. Edward growled and whispered in my ear, "Bella, it's not true. You're still safe" He turned his attention to _him_.

"As for you, you mutt, there will never be a moment I don't wish you dead. You are an inch away from death and I highly suggest leaving. I refuse to kill you today. There will never be a moment that I, or my family, am not around her. I will keep her by my side at all times and you will never lay another hand on her. You will pay, mark my words." He hissed. "You should leave; now."

"Who's gonna make me, bloodsucker?" Jacob growled. I shuddered.

The Cullen family emerged from the woods. "We will." Carlisle said angrily. His face was so angry. Edward's arms held me tighter.

"Want to start a war, Cullen?" Jacob snarled. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle all stepped forward menacingly.

"Not right now." Edward hissed at them. They all lined back into formation.

Jacob's head twisted to the side. "Well, well, it looks like the pack is on their way. I believe it's time for me to be leaving. Bloodsuckers," He nodded towards the Cullens. "Bella…" He nodded towards me with a grimacing smile.

In seconds he was gone.

"Bella…" Edward began.

"Just take me home." I whispered as nodded and he picked me up bridal style and carried me home.

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_Pop Quiz: How many reviews till the next chapter?  
Did you say 150? Good Job! Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back for that one!  
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_And to anyone out there that is adding me as their favorite authors, or favorite stories, thank you!  
However, if you aren't reviewing, I just want to point out that it's much easier to review! You don't have to go through that awful little scroll box! Just hit the Periwinkle (or lavender) button! It's that easy!_

_Oh, I'm also considering keeping this story M but also making an identical copy, except for the rape scene and make it T, because some people are requesting it be T._

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	15. All I wanted Was You

_Hello, All!  
Thank you so so much for the great reviews!  
I'm in a bit of a hurry today or I would answer some questions, but you can definitely expect some answers either tonight or tomorrow._

_Read and Review. I have no limit this time, because you guys kick my butt and always review too fast before I can update!_

_(But, hey, to be honest, the more you review, the faster I post the story... I'm just saying. "P)_

_Okay, I have the next chapter read and the next few chapters are basically done I just have to send em to my amazing Beta (Masochism-- she writes awesome stories. Look her up) _

_I woke up at 3:00 this morning for a school function. _

_Sorry if I ramble!_

_Review!_

_Hope you like this chapter._

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I sat on the now unusable bed staring at the dark walls in front of me, waiting for Edward to return with the plate of fruit Esme had made. My favorite pajamas were snug and comfy as I lay on the bed. The room was dimly lit and there was the CD of lullabies Edward had made me playing softly through the room. The atmosphere was perfect for reflecting on the recent events, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. Blocking everything bad out that had happened, I reflected on the day. Today, no matter who tried to ruin it, was still the happiest day of my life. I married the love of my life and no one could ever take me from him now.

Jacob aside, today had been the best day of my life. I was officially Edward's and he was mine. Even though the wedding was over the top and way too over done, it was perfect. Even the dancing was wonderful after I learned I really wouldn't have to be dancing. I love having a husband who has toes I can't crush. I unconsciously smiled to myself as the door opened with Edward carrying a tray of fruits and dips. His eyes were sad, but when he walked in the room his eyes filled with curiosity.

"You're smiling..." He said warily.

"Of course I am." I said happily, thinking about today.

"Not that it's bad or anything, but Why?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know." I said, each word dripping with playful sarcasm. "Maybe because it's our wedding night! I'm just guessing." I said playfully. I thought his face would light up, instead his face sunk.

"Bella, You know that can't happen now..." he said slowly.

"Oh," My heart dropped. I hadn't meant it like that. I generally stayed off 'that' topic lately and I felt my face flush red. "I-I didn't mean it like that." I mumbled. My face sank when I remembered why we wouldn't be having a real wedding night. It was because of what I did. "I'm sorry." I whispered as I looked down.

"Why on earth are you sorry, Bella? I'm the one who is breaking their promise. I promised you that before I would change you we would, well, you know. You held your end of the bargain. You married me. And I can't keep my promise. I'm the one that should be truly sorry." He said sadly. His beautiful face drooped and he looked downward at his feet. My head shot up.

"Edward, Look at me." I instructed with a strange authority in my voice. I liked this wife thing. His head lifted slowly as his pain filled eyes met mine. "Edward, It's not your fault that you can't keep your promise. We can't have our wedding night because of something I did. Don't you dare blame yourself for something that is my fault."

"I should have been there to protect you. And I don't care how many times I have to say it, but this is anything but your fault. What that mutt did had nothing to do with your decisions. I let you go to him, I should have known better. Bella, please, listen to me when I say that it isn't your fault. Please tell me you understand that." He begged. I nodded with tear filled eyes, refusing to let them fall. I knew he was being too nice, because it was my fault. How was it not? He sighed and shook his head.

"Bella, I know you don't believe me, but everything in me wishes you did and he will pay for making you even think that you deserved this." He sighed angrily as he sat down on the bed a couple of feet from me.

"I hate it when you sit so far away." I whispered. He looked up from his spot on the floor and into my eyes. He shifted so he was only inches away from me and he swung his legs over the bed and propped himself up with pillows. He pulled me gently to him so that my body outlined his. I closed my eyes as I snuggled closer to him. He moved me so that he could place his face in the crook of my neck, with my hair covering his face as he gently breathed in my fragrant shampoo.

He sighed and his cold breath caused me to shiver. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted most before your change." He whispered against my neck. I rolled onto my other side so we were face to face. His eyes were full of guilt.

"Edward, I got what I wanted most..." He stared at me questioningly. I sighed and rolled my eyes in mock irritation. I smiled as I whispered, "You!" and kissed him gently on the lips. As I pulled away his eyes were full of joy for the first time in hours.

"Isabella Cullen," He said with a very big smile, "I love you more and more each day." I smiled as he said this laid my head back on his chest. It was around 11 o' clock and I knew we were heading out tomorrow morning. I yawned into his chest as I snuggled closer, still refusing to focus on what unpleasant things had happened today.

"Tomorrow will be a long day, too, my love. You should get some sleep." His velvety voice rang. I nodded, realizing I was too tired to refuse.

" G'Night. I love you." I mumbled into his chest. I felt him chuckle.

"I love you so much more, Bella." I shook my head but as his chest vibrated as he hummed my lullaby it became impossible to argue. Within moments I was asleep.

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	16. Let Me Do This Right

_Hey guys! _

_Sorry for the short chapters lately. This one isn't so short, but it's not exactly a long one. The next few are a bit short, but then we have a long one, so it's all good._

_You guys have done AMAZING with the reviews!  
I hit 200! You guys are fantastic. _

_I'm going to go ahead and post some answers to a lot of questions I've been getting, so if you don't wanna read the answers, just go straight to the story._

_Thanks again guys._

_Read and Review!!_

_Alright._

_Time for a little Q and A!  
Q: Why didn't the Cullen's attack Jacob when he showed up?_

_A: Edward wanted to remember that day as their wedding. Not the day that he (or any of his family) killed Jacob Black. He wanted Bella to have a day without worrying about who died. He did it because He wanted a wedding day. Is that so bad?_

_Q: Why didn't the pack attack Jacob?_

_A: Okay, so this will be addressed more in a later chapter, but currently the pack didn't show up because they didn't expect him to have the audacity to show up at Bella's wedding. I mean, think about it, did you? "P_

_Okay, to be quite honest, even though I ask for X amount of reviews, I don't want to force you to review. I only like reviews because I'm honestly looking for new ideas and criticism. I am completely open to people telling me how to improve my story or spice it up a bit. I'm sorry if you hate people that ask for that many reviews, but if you pay attention I post before and after that many reviews!_

"_P_

_As for all of you who want a steamy scene… well… to be honest, I can't write that stuff. If there is anyone that might want to help me write it, you're welcome to, I guess. But I really can't write that. Sorry._

_Alright, Kiddos, time for the story.  
Review!_

_(I'm gonna say 230 reviews get you guys a new chapter but if you guys exceed that before Isabel can review it, don't punch me "P)_

_**Disclaimer: I, Madi, am not Stephanie Meyer, nor do I own any of the characters in this story. (Just the twisted plot)**_

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_His strange black eyes were staring down at me as the heat radiated from his body. I began to sweat as he backed me into a corner in that rusty garage. I begin to scream. _

_"Edward! Edward, Help me! Please…" My voice dies off as he is instantly in front of me with his massive paw around my neck. _

_"Don't… scream…" he hissed into my ear as his hot breath shot fear through me. He threw me against a wall and I let out a high scream as I felt my bones collapse. The light faded as I felt him pick me up and begin to throw me again. He continued beating against me, crushing my bones; slowly killing me. With one last throw he threw me against a wall and ran instantly to my side as he whispered in my ear, "He doesn't love you." Any ounce of hope left in my body faded and I began to sink into the wall. My bones didn't matter. The blood didn't matter. Then suddenly, he was gone._

_I looked up into the too-white light and saw my angels face staring down at me. I reached up to him. "Edward…" I whispered._

_His eyes were pained and he looked down upon me with broken eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry I wasn't here to save you…" he whispered. And with that instant everything went black. _

"Bella!!" His normally smooth voice shouted. I woke up covered in sweat and found myself held in an iron grip in his cold arms. My face was flooded with tears and my sore body ached more than normal. I tried to fight the tears but they kept falling. I finally gave in and let them fall. "Shh…Bella, you're okay, now. It was only a dream. I've got you. You're safe." He kept muttering over and over. He was sitting straight with his back against the headboard and he me propped up in his lap, cradling me. I sobbed into his chest as he rubbed my hair. I cried until it was physically impossible to cry anymore. After calming down and letting the tears dry I began to loosen my grip on his shoulder. I sat up against his chest, rather than hiding in it. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He whispered as he continued to stroke my hair with rub circles into the back of the hand he was holding. I shook my head. I took a deep breath and tried to start the day out right.

"Good Morning, Husband." I said as I forced a smile. I cuddled closer to him; trying to forget what had just happened.

"Good Morning, Wife." His velvety voice sang back. Hearing him say that instantly spread a genuine smile onto my face. "Hungry, Love?" He asked sweetly.

"Mmmhm.." I hummed, as I realized what I wanted. "Pop Tarts?" I asked, hopefully. He reached behind him and pulled out box of strawberry pop tarts. "Mmm... You know me too well, Mr. Cullen." I joked, finally relaxing from the nightmare.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen. It comes in handy when you wake up hungry." He smiled and kissed me as we sat up. I unwrapped a pop tart and began eating it. The room got quiet.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked between bites, breaking the silence.

"Well, the Volvo is already loaded up with some of your stuff. My closet is empty, but it's already in Alaska, thanks to Alice. Mostly everyone left last night, other than Carlisle and Esme and they left this morning. So, we'll be driving to the airport and flying to our new home." he said matter of fact.

"What about your Volvo?" I asked, genuinely worried. "You can't just leave it here!"

He chuckled at my worries, "I thought you hated that stupid, shiny Volvo," He laughed again.

"Not the Volvo, just the stubborn OWNER," I teased as I kissed him.

"I see," He said, still rather amused. "Well, anyway, I've already got that taken care of. The car will be shipped with our flight. It will be at the airport the same time we are."

"Hmm. That's easy enough." I said, slipping another bite of pop tart into my mouth. I slid out of bed and went into the closet to change. After I got dressed, I slipped back into the bedroom where Edward stood already dressed. I stood in the frame of the door and stared at him as he was facing the other wall fastening his belt. He turned around and smiled as he walked over to greet me, yet again.

"Ready, love?" He asked, kissing me sweetly.

"Mmm," I sighed. I loved his kisses. "Yeah."

"Do you want to stop by Charlie's before we leave town?" He asked.

"No, I don't want leaving to be harder than it already is. We said our good-byes last night." I explained.

"Alright, Well, then, let's get going. He scooped me up as he ran downstairs. He placed me inside the silver Volvo and he was in the driver's seat in less than a few seconds.

We rode to the airport talking about small things. Like our favorite parts of the ceremony, our favorite song (which we both agreed was when we danced together to my lullaby), so on and so forth. When we arrived at the airport after a while and we quickly boarded our plane.

The plane ride was fairly quiet and I was glad. I didn't want him to ask what I had dreamt about or what I was currently thinking about, because, the truth is, I was thinking about what Jacob had said. Could Edward really get bored with me after my change? Would he really leave me again? Would he leave me because I was used goods or because he was bored? Or Both?

"Bella," He called shaking me out of my trance. "What's wrong? You're heart is beating horribly and you are breathing shallow. Are you okay?" He asked nervously.

"It's nothing." I lied, I began again before he could question me further, "Where, exactly, are we heading to?"

He looked at me sideways, obviously not believing me, before answering. "We're heading to a town outside Anchorage. It's called Willow Creek, It's a lot smaller than Forks. It will be perfect for your change. There's almost no one in the town. And our house is the farthest away from any of them."

"How long till we get there?" I asked.

"Well, it's pretty far. Only about a 4 or 5 hour flight, though. We only have about two and a half hours left. You've been staring out the window for quite a long time, are you sure everything is alright?" He asked again.

"I'm just so tired, all of a sudden." I yawned. I really wasn't lying, just avoiding the truth.

"Well, then go to sleep, silly Bella." He said as he touched my nose. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat so that I could lay my head on his shoulder. Then he whispered, "Bella, if it was something else, would you tell me?"

"Of course I would, Edward." I mumbled into his shoulder as I snuggled closer into the crook of his neck." He nodded and began to hum my lullaby and the vibrato shook through his body and quickly sent me to sleep.

"Bella," I heard his sweet voice calling for me. I shifted and mumbled something incoherent when he said, "It's time to get off now, love." I looked at Edward with tired eyes and closed them shut again. He leaned over and kissed me sweetly on the lips. He stood up and pulled me to my feet and I mumbled angrily and leaned against him, trying to sleep again. He laughed to himself and he picked me up, cradling me as he carried me as we departed off the plane. This attracted quite a few stares, but I didn't care. He was quite comfortable. We walked outside the airport, and sure enough there was his stupid, shiny Volvo waiting for us.

The drive to the house was about 90 minutes away at Edward's speed. The drive was quiet and I looked out my window to avoid any moments where he might try to regain the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him watching me.

We pulled up to a house just as it became dark. I stared at the beautiful, brick Victorian manor. It even looked like it belonged to the Cullen's. It was so classy. It was huge, even compared to the home back in Forks. It had to be at least 4 stories high. It was absolutely stunning. The brick walls were traced in Ivy and the red brick was complimented by the dark brick outlines. The large white windows showed an immaculate contrast and simply took my breath away.

"Like it?" Edward asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I-It's Beautiful!" I gasped. "Is everyone already inside?"

He smiled down at me, "Yep! They can't wait to see us."

"Then let's go!!" I shouted. He laughed at my enthusiasm.

"Just one thing, let me do this right." He said. I was confused until he came to my door and opened it. He picked me up out of the car and carried me into the home bridal style. He set me down in the foyer as I saw his family sitting in the living room. Alice jumped up and ran over to hug me. Then everyone else proceeded to welcome me.

Edward snuck behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and inhaled my scent. I blushed as he brushed his hand against my face, "I love that." He whispered in my ear.

I felt my stomach drop and I became nervous. What if Jacob was right? What if Edward won't love me when I don't blush? What if I don't smell the same? He would leave. I know he would. I felt my face fall as I viciously tried to brighten it back up. Jasper stared at me in confusion. I managed to mouth 'sorry' while everyone else was looking away. He just shrugged. Edward's head whipped around and stared at Jasper intently and then at me. I avoided his stare.

"Time for the tour!" Alice sang. She grabbed my hand as she dragged me around the house with Edward still at my waist.

The downstairs consisted of the kitchen, the dining room and the living room. The next floor had all of the 'children's' rooms; Alice and Jaspers, Rosalie and Emmett's, and mine and Edward's. On the next floor were Carlisle and Esme's master bedroom, a guest bedroom, and an office for Carlisle. The house was fully stocked and absolutely stunning. Edward led me back down the stairs into our room as I explored all the closets. The unnecessary bed was rather comfortable and after excusing myself for another 'human moment' I walked back into the room and sat on the bed and faced the opposite direction of him pretending to stare at the clock on the bedside table.

"Bella?" He asked gently. I spun slowly around to look at him. "You've been extremely quiet. Is everything alright, love?" He asked it softly as he caressed my face with his hand.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"Bella? You can't expect me to believe that! What is it?" He was growing curious now.

I shook my head. "It's…nothing…" I mumbled.

"Bella… It's okay to talk about it. You know that, right? I want to be here for you. You don't have to hide anything."

I shifted anxiously in the bed. I didn't want to talk about this. "Edward, I'm tired now. Can I please just go to sleep?" I said quietly not looking into his eyes. He sighed as he lay down on the bed and tucked me in close to him as he caressed my face with his hand.

"Sleep now, my beautiful Bella." He whispered and I closed my eyes, forcing myself to sleep.


	17. I Pray He's Right

_Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to post! My Beta (Masochism) was held up and didn't get them back to me until an hour ago! Oops! Well they're here now!  
I hope it's worth the wait!  
_

_This is a REALLY short chapter._

_I mean REALLY short._

_I have the next one ready, but I have to go take care of some things._

_I should be back in about an hour to post the next chapter, which is also pretty short._

_Review anyway!_

_I'll post two chapters if you review a lot in the next hour!!_

_I say this at 237 reviews. If I get back in an hour and I have 2:50 I will post two chapters instead of one._

_Ready for the challenge?!_

_First step: READ!_

_GO!_

_**Nope. Still Not her.**_

--

EPOV

"Edward, I'm tired now. Can I sleep?" her voice was so full of a pain I didn't know about.

I took a deep breath and held her closer to me. I whispered into her ear, "Sleep, My beautiful Bella." and began to hum her lullaby. She was quickly asleep. As soon as she was fast asleep I decided to go down and talk to my family. I made my way downstairs and into the living room where my entire family sat peacefully.

"She's hiding some thing." I said, trying to get someone to help me realize what she wasn't telling me. I looked to Jasper for help.

"She was really anxious." He said, shrugging.

"About the change?" I asked hurriedly.

"I don't know, Edward. You're the mind reader. I just know how she feels." I glared at him; he knew I couldn't read her mind. It was times like these when I wish I could.

As the silence of the room took over I heard Rosalie's 'voice' more clearly than the rest. _Edward, she just needs time. She has a lot on her mind._

"You know something that you're not telling me!" I yelled, instantly quieting myself so I wouldn't wake Bella. "What do you know?" I hissed quietly. Rosalie rolled her eyes as I stood in front of her.

"Rosalie, what is going on?" I hissed.

"Edward, I suggest you get out of my face." She snarled. Why was Rosalie suddenly so violent again? The last time I had seen her like this is before Emmett joined our family.

"I suggest you tell me what you know." I snarled back.

"Both of you need to call down." Esme said sternly. She really was a good mother. Rosalie and I stayed face to face. "NOW!" She hissed just loud enough not to wake up Bella. Esme rarely got this mad and when she did it was serious. Rosalie and I both sat down in our seats. Esme smiled sweetly and sat back down next to Carlisle.

I was sitting in the armchair across from the couch which sat Alice, who was in Jasper's lap, and Emmett, who had Rosalie curled up in his lap. I took a deep breath, causing Rosalie to tense up.

"Rosalie, I apologize for being so unruly, but I really need to know what's going on with Bella…" I sighed, "Please." I begged.

Rosalie shook her head slowly.

"Bad?" I asked, my face falling. She looked away.

"Edward," She sighed, "The worst possible thing that could happen to a girl has happened to her. She needs you to be there for her, but when she's ready. Don't pressure her into telling you and stop trying to figure it out. As much as you want to, you can't fix this." She stood up gracefully and walked to the stairs where Emmett followed loyally.

_It gets better, Bro_. Emmett told me as he shot me a glance before he followed Rose up the stairs. I nodded. Did it ever really get better?

Jasper looked up at me questioningly. _Doubt? _He asked in his mind. I shrugged.

I stood up and ran to the bedroom and slid into the bed. I felt Bella shiver as she nuzzled closer to me. I wrapped the blanket tighter around her and held her closer as I prayed out to God that Emmett was right.

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SECOND STEP: REVIEW!


	18. Lost In My Own Life

_I'm not gonna lie, this is a long chapter. I mean, supercalifragilistically long. (That's right. I went there.)_

_I could have probably split this chapter up into a few parts, but I didn't really feel like it. Sorry! (Lies! I'm not sorry)_

_This chapter you get hit with like 2-3 big whammies. So get ready for them._

_I didn't get many reviews in that hour, so you guys failed the test. "P I'm just playing. You guys are the best!!_

_Lately I've been trying to map this whole story out, and so far it's pretty planned out._

_And yes, I do know what I'm doing with Jacob and getting back at him._

_Note: He will pay! I promise! _

_I dunno why this is so long._

_Long Chapters require long author's note, I guess. Haha._

_Alright, Well Review this and you get a new chapter tomorrow._

_(Let's set a goal for...260? 260 sounds good. That's only about 18 away. That's not too bad is it? I'm not gonna lie, I won't be able to wait that long. Review anyway!)_

_I'm done now._

_**I'm still not Stephenie Meyer, and when I am, I will let you know.**___

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I felt the sun entering the large window as I shifted slightly in bed

I felt the sun entering the large window as I shifted slightly in bed. I realized I was against Edward's stone chest as I cuddled closer to him.

"Morning, Love." He said gently. I smiled in his chest and mumbled my own disgruntled greeting.

"I'm hungry!" I proclaimed as I pulled away from his chest.

"Alice said you might want pancakes, so Esme made you some." My stomach growled hungrily after not eating much yesterday as he pulled the bed side table closer to me.

"Mmm. Thanks, Esme!" I said a little louder than normal, knowing she would hear me. I ate the pancakes quickly as Edward watched.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Hmm?" He hummed back a response.

"Can we take a walk today?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course, love. Just finish up and you can go get ready and I'll tell everyone where we'll be. I'll meet you downstairs?"

"Okay. I won't be long." I said as I crawled closer to him.

"Good." He said simply as he kissed me gently. I will be so happy when he doesn't kiss me like a china doll.

I jumped in the shower and got ready as fast as I could. I walked to the closet and quickly got dressed. When I realized there was only one more bag to unpack I began sorting through the only bag Alice hadn't unpacked; my overnight bag. I reached into the bag and began pulling out clothes and putting them on the correct shelf. After the main pocket was empty I moved on to the sides of the bag. The first pocket was empty. The second pocket followed suit. The last pocket held a plain piece of loose leaf paper torn from a notebook, ripped a long the edges. In large, bold letters the front of the paper read "**Bella ****SWAN**" The Swan was underlined and my heart dropped when I remembered whose chicken scratch writing that was. My heart raced and I felt my hands shaking. I opened the letter and began to read.

_"Bella—_

_You made a mistake. You will learn your lesson and I will be the one to teach it. Don't stop looking over your shoulder. That leech won't be with you forever. Don't get any false hope, the pack won't find me…" A shrill voice entered my head. _

"Bella! Stop don't read--" She screamed as she stopped a few feet away from me with horror filled eyes. "Bella, don't read that." She whispered.

"I'm fine." I said with more stability than I expected. "Where's Edward?" I whispered. She closed her eyes.

"He's in the Garden with Esme." She said. I nodded. I looked back at the note.

_"You're precious bloodsuckers can't even stop me now. I will be back. And when I finally decide to take pity on you and end your pathetic existence, I will wait for the perfect time. I will wait until he changes you into one of them. When that leech realizes that he doesn't love you and when you become as boring as I know you are, he will leave you. He will leave you miserable and I will laugh at your pain. Then I will slowly kill you and you will beg me to end it. You made a mistake. You will pay. _

_--Just Guess"_

My eyes shifted around the paper trying to find the "gotcha" or the "just kidding" I dropped the note and stood up. The note landed on the floor and I walked numbly by Alice to the top of the stairs.

"Bella? Bella, stop! Talk to me!" She shouted nervously. The door opened and slammed shut and before I had time to see who it was, Edward was beside me.

"Alice, what's going on? Why are you harassing my wife?" He smiled down at me and I looked at him and back the empty spot on the wall. His posture changed from a loving playful stance to a suddenly protective stance, nervously looking down at me. "Bella, what is going on?" He asked. I didn't answer. He glared at Alice.

"Alice! Why are you blocking me? What's going on? What did you do?" He started checking my face and arms for bruises. I turned my head away from his hands.

"She didn't do anything, Edward." I said calmly. "I'm fine. Let's go." My voice sounded so distant.

"Bella..." Alice pleaded.

"Let's go. Please." I said shortly. Edward looked to Alice.

"Alice, what is going on? Why are you blocking me? Why won't you answer me?" He asked sounding hurt and angry.

She shook her head and ran off. "Bella, what's going on?" He turned to me. I shook my head.

I didn't want to answer him. I walked to the top of the stairs and slowly descended down them. I stumbled slightly as I reached the last step, but of course, Edward was there to steady my arms so I wouldn't fall. I tried to smile up at him as we headed out the door. For about an hour the walk remained quiet. We reached a small clearing as Edward led me to a place with rocks just big enough to sit on. We sat down and he stared at me. I looked down at the ground, avoiding what I knew was coming.

"Bella? You've been awfully quiet. Would you like to talk about what happened back there?" He asked innocently.

I shook my head and muttered, "Maybe later..." Edward nodded sadly.

"Is there another reason you wanted to come for a walk?" He asked quietly. I shrugged.

"Well, I really just wanted to spend some alone time together, but I do have a question." He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "Um... When do you think you will be...changing me?" I muttered quietly.

His face became somber, "Well, we all talked about this while you were getting ready. We were thinking that I, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice would all go hunting somewhere with some lions. You would stay here with Esme and Carlisle. Then when you woke up the next day, we would get ready and we would change you, only if that sounds okay to you. We would probably leave tomorrow or the next day." I felt a mixture of excitement and anxiety with it being so soon.

"Oh, wow, that soon?" I really was surprised. "Okay!"

"Only if you're okay with it." He repeated.

"I am." I said honestly. "Now, um, what's all going to happen?"

He took a deep breath as he began to explain the process. "Well, everyone will be here, but you and I will be the only ones in the room. Carlisle will only be outside the door. The rest will be, well, wherever they want. I'm going to have to bite you five times; once in your neck, each wrist, and each ankle. I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. It's going to hurt a lot. Carlisle is going to inject you with morphine to try and dull the pain, but we think that the venom is going to cancel out the morphine. It's worth a shot, I guess. I will stay by your side until you wake up and we will go from there." He looked so nervous.

"I know you won't." I whispered. We both were quiet, for similar, yet different, reasons. He was thinking about the change and I was thinking about how he would react to my change.

We sat in the clearing until the sky grew dark. At risk of falling, Edward carried me on his back home, even though he kept up a more human pace. We got home and I ate some leftovers from the wedding that Alice had stored neatly in the freezer.

"Bella! Edward! A few people from the Denali clan are coming over! They want to meet the all-famous Bella! And they want to welcome us to Alaska!" I felt my heart sink as I remembered that these were the ones that had been so fond of Edward. Although I was scared of how they would react to me, everyone was always talking about how nice they were. It wouldn't be too bad, would it?

"How long are they going to be here?" Edward asked casually.

"They're only in for an hour or so. They are just passing through." Alice answered sweetly. Edward just nodded. Once Alice alerted the family about the visit, they were there in a matter of minutes.

We all were sitting comfortable in the living room when the doorbell rang. Alice danced over to the door and welcomed them all in. We all stood to welcome them into our home when I saw them. There were about 5 of them and I'm sure it wasn't all of them. The one in the front seemed to be the leader; I can only assume she was Tanya. She was absolutely one of the most beautiful creatures ever. She was similar to Rosalie and absolutely flawless. I stood there in awe of her. Alice danced back between us and introduced us.

"Tanya, this is Bella! Bella, Tanya." She said happily. Tanya's smile was perfect and her strawberry blonde hair form fitted her perfect face.

"It's nice to finally meet the girl that stole our Edward's heart!" She laughed loudly as did the rest of her coven. Edward and I smiled politely.

"How about we all go hunting? Make a night out of it?" Esme suggested sweetly.

"I can stay here with Bella, you guys go ahead." Edward said simply.

"No!" Tanya shrieked. "Edward, you go! I'll stay here with Bella! I want to get to know her! I want to know how she managed to capture your heart! Please, let me stay with her! You go hunt!" She begged.

I saw Edward glance at Alice nervously and she nodded and smiled. Edward reluctantly agreed as he kissed me goodbye. I didn't want to pull away. Why would he leave me with her?

"You'll be fine, love. And if you need to, just call for me. Okay?" The family ran into the woods and left Tanya and me alone. The moment they were far enough from the house she turned around inches from my face and stared like something was on my face. She sniffed the air and shrugged.

"I don't get it. There is nothing special about you. Absolutely nothing. The only thing special about you is your smell. But that will change. You must be the family pet." She snarled.

"N-No." I stammered. "I'm part of the family."

"Yeah, right!" She scoffed. "You're a pet! That's all you'll ever be to him."

"N-no, I-I'm not! H-he's going to change me." I protested.

"Of Course he is. I hope he doesn't get too bored _TOO_ fast. I know he will; he always does. He will be bored of you within a week. When the thrill of your blood lust is gone, you will mean nothing to him." She spat.

"I-I will..." I whispered. She laughed at me and ran out of the house. I slid down the wall Tanya had backed me against and fell to the ground after she left. I couldn't cry, but I couldn't hold myself together. I felt that hole inside of me ripping open. First Jacob, now Tanya? I began shaking and trembling as I tried to stand back up. I managed to stand up with the support of the wall but continued to breathe shallowly.

The doors burst open and suddenly Edward cradled me in his arms as Alice and Jasper and a couple members of the Denali Clan entered the living room. Alice and Edward looked quite angry. I wiped the few tears in my eyes away and clung to Edward.

"Tanya, I saw what happened. I really suggest you leave." Alice said harshly.

"What did you see? Bella and I were just having a nice chat, weren't we, Bella?" I shook my head slowly. Edward held me closer to his chest.

"Don't give me that, Tanya. I'm not stupid. You need to leave." She said with distaste in her voice. The door swung open as the rest of the Cullens entered the house as well as the rest of the clan.

"Alice, is that how we treat guests? What is going on?" Carlisle's voice rang with authority. He shifted his glance from Alice to Edward and me. Alice said something too quickly and softly for me to catch. Carlisle nodded and his eyes shifted to Tanya.

"I hate to be rude, but Tanya, I have to ask you and the rest of your clan to leave. That was unacceptable and uncalled for. Until you're not so readily targeting my daughter-in-law, please do not come back." Carlisle said as he motioned them to the door and closed the door after they were gone.

"Bella..." Edward began.

"I-I'm tired." I tried.

"I know, Bella. You can sleep soon." He stood up with me in his arms as he carried me to his room at a slow pace. He sat me on the bed and I turned on my side away from him.

"Bella," he called softly. I shifted onto my back so I could see him sitting next to me, staring down at me. "You do know that everything she said was a lie, right? Bella, you could never become boring. I love you too much. Please, tell me you know that." He begged. I nodded.

"I'm going to sleep, now. Okay, Edward? It's been a long day." I mumbled.

"Bella..." He began.

"G'Night, Edward." I said simply. I rolled over and did my best to fall asleep. I knew it wasn't working and it wasn't fooling him, but I didn't care. Suddenly I felt lost in my own life.

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_Review!!_

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	19. Never Doubt That

_Great job with the reviews guys! Thanks for the good things (and not so good things) you all said. _

_Alright, Message to the masses: if you guys are going to bash my writing, do it with manners and poise. Stop acting like a middle schooler. Don't be rude. Do you honestly think anyone will listen to your opinion while you are being a smart ass? (sorry for the language, to those whom it offends) Don't post 15 reviews, and each one of them being a new complaint. Sorry for all of you that are reading this and leave me those wonderfully sweet reviews! ")_

_I don't mind criticism, but I do mind rudeness. At least be polite. _

_And, to anyone saying that I'm making Bella out to be too helpless, this is my story. That is why in each chapter I clarify that I am not, and will never be, Stephenie Meyer! Yeah, I altered Bella a little, most fan fictions do! That is why they are fan fictions! Not Carbon Copies of the Author's original story! _

_I apologize to anyone that likes Jacob Black. He is a bit too crazy, I agree. I just kind of like it. It's something most people haven't and won't cover, so it's like a work out for my creativity. "P_

_Alright, I've rambled long enough._

_Here's the new chapter._

_Quite a bit shorter than the last._

_**Maybe you didn't catch it the first 18 times I've posted it. I am NOT Stephenie Meyer! I am Madi! And this is my Story!!**_

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I woke up in the King Sized bed alone and I felt my breathing catch and my heart speed up

"Edward?" I called, scared. "Edward!" I shouted louder. Suddenly the door flew open and two cold arms wrapped around me.

"Bella, what is it?" he said as he sat next to me and held me to him. I felt a single tear trace my face.

"I-I don't know. I just got scared, I guess." I mumbled into his chest.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. I was talking to the family. I'm here now. I'm sorry." he repeated. I shook my head.

"Don't be. I overreacted." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." I sighed as he shook his head and held me lovingly on the bed. He moved his hand to my shoulders which still had a light trace of bruises.

"Does it still hurt?" he whispered. I shook my head.

"It's just a little sore." I murmured. He nodded.

The room was quite for a while and I waited till I could clear my head a little.

"Have you and the family decided when everything is happening?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, we were talking about that. This is your decision so tell me what you want. Would you rather wait until you are completely healed, so that way we can have our...wedding night, before you are changed or would you rather be changed sooner and just wait until then to enjoy our rights as a married couple? This is your choice and I will be happy either way." He clarified. I didn't want to wait for the change, the sooner it happened, the sooner I could lose every memory.

"I want to do it as soon as possible." I said calmly. Edward looked at me concerned.

"As you wish." He sighed as he stood up. "I should go tell the family."

"Edward..." I began, wishing I could take it back. He sat back down and faced me. I shook my head as he tired to get me to continue. "N-never mind.. It's not important." I mumbled.

Edward grabbed my hands in his and placed them in his lap. He stared lovingly into my eyes and I shied my eyes from him. "Bella, Anything you have to say is important."

I took a deep breath and fought back the tears chasing my words. "Would you be changing me if it hadn't happened?" I asked. He knew what I meant by 'it'. I looked up to him with sad eyes.

"I promised you I would change you and I have no intention of ever breaking my promises to you." He said in a very absolute voice, trying to assure both of us that he was positive.

"But you don't want to." It wasn't a question. He shook his head.

"I don't want to change you under these circumstances. I wanted to change you when everything was still OK. I don't want to change you because you feel threatened or because you wanted to forget that mutt. I wanted to change you because we would spend all of eternity together. Not because you feel like you have to. Bella, I'm completely willing to wait for you to heal in a few months. I want you to be happy, not feel pressured about this." He said, never looking away from my eyes.

"No matter what some of the reasons I want to be changed are, the reason I want this was so I could spend every day of this eternity with you. I love you, Edward. I married you to prove that! Please, stop doubting that." I begged.

"That's a little hard lately, love." He said sadly and for the first time he looked away from my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I wish I could fix it..." I whispered even quieter.

"Just let me in..." He begged. I felt the tears fall from my eyes.

"Edward...I-I can't...Not yet..." I whispered through my tears.

"Please, Bella...Tell me why." His voice was so pleading.

"I-I don't know. I-I don't even know what's going on anymore. I feel lost, Edward...I feel so distant." My body convulsed as I started to sob.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. Alice can you please come sit with Bella for a little while." I looked up with teary eyes. Where was he going? Was he leaving? "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be back, I promise. I just need a second. I'm so sorry." The second Alice swung the door open, Edward left. I sobbed harder as he left.

"Bella, Edward will be right back." I shook my head. "Bella, I promise, Edward is coming back. He needed to go talk to someone and he'll be back. He'll only be gone a few moments." I lay back onto the pillows and hugged my legs, not thinking about the pain shooting through my ribs and lower abdomen.

Just as the world faded to black two arms circled around me and lifted me from the fetal position into their lap. I knew it was Edward, but I couldn't look into his eyes.

"Bella, I will never leave you like I did back then. Never doubt that. I just needed to talk to someone. I'm so sorry. I'm right here." I continued to sob into his chest as he stroked my hair. I let the world fade to black around me and I disappeared into the darkness.

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Review! (But Be Nice!)

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	20. At A Loss

_Oh, Wow!  
You guys are the best, ever!! I mean, 300 something reviews! You guys are great! I love it! I love you all! All of you are so supportive dabs eyes. Haha. Keep it up! There is MUCH more cuteness to come!_

_To answer your question, this is the chapter where you find out were Edward went when he left Bella. You will see! This is EPOV. Enjoy! Review!_

_**Not Stephenie Meyer, still.**_

* * *

Bella had decided to make the change as soon as possible, so I made my way to the door slowly to tell the family her decision, even though I'm sure they had already heard.

"Edward..." She whispered as I neared the door. I turned around and walked back over to the bed, waiting for her to begin again. "N-never mind... It's not important." She said as she shifted in the bed, looking away from me.

I grabbed her small hands in mine and looked into her eyes so she would know I was genuine when I said, "Bella, Anything you have to say is important."

She took a large breath and closed her eyes as if to calm herself and she whispered, "Would you be changing me if it hadn't happened?" My heart sank. I knew exactly what she meant when she said, "It".

"I promised you I would change you and I have no intention of ever breaking my promises to you." I said simply. I don't know if I was assuring her, or myself.

"But you don't want to." It wasn't a question. Her head was hung low and I shook my head slowly.

I took an unnecessary breath. "I don't want to change you under these circumstances. I wanted to change you when everything was still OK. I don't want to change you because you feel threatened or because you wanted to forget that mutt. I wanted to change you because we would spend all of eternity together. Not because you feel like you have to. Bella, I'm completely willing to wait for you to heal in a few months. I want you to be happy, not feel pressured about this." I said strongly. Although her eyes avoided my gaze, I never took my eyes off of her beautiful face. After a few seconds of processing what I had said, her head snapped up.

"No matter what some of the reasons I want to be changed are, the reason I want this was so I could spend every day of this eternity with you. I love you, Edward. I married you to prove that! Please, stop doubting that." She pleaded. How could I not doubt that some days, lately? She was pushing me away more and more each day.

"That's a little hard lately, love." I said honestly. I could no longer look her in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. "I wish I could fix it..."

"Just let me in..." I begged her. I needed in. I didn't care that Rosalie had told me to wait; I needed to know what she was thinking.

"Edward...I-I can't...Not yet..." She whispered as her tears fell quicker.

"Please, Bella...Tell me why." I begged again.

"I-I don't know. I-I don't even know what's going on anymore. I feel lost, Edward...I feel so distant." Her body began to convulse and she sobbed heavily. I couldn't take this anymore. My Bella was so hurt, even after I promised her so many moons ago that I wouldn't ever let her get hurt.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry." I whispered. "Alice can you please come sit with Bella for a little while." I heard Alice answer me from the living room as she made her way up the stairs. Bella stared at me with hurt eyes as she sobbed. She thought I was leaving her again. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be back, I promise. I just need a second. I'm so sorry." The second that Alice swung the door open, I ran out the door, into the living room and through the front door. I made my way into the forest where I proceeded to find a thick tree.

I screamed in anger as I punched the large tree, knocking it over. I heard someone approaching me and I didn't care to listen to find out who it was. I grabbed another tree and ripped it from the ground swinging it towards the person behind me. I turned with the force of the tree when I realized it was Emmett. He stood as if he was waiting for impact. I dropped the tree before it hit him and he relaxed.

"Sorry." I mumbled. Emmett just shrugged.

"What'd the trees do to you?" He said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. I sighed and sat down on the newest makeshift bench. Emmett followed and sat next to me on the trunk of the tree and started to fidget with his large hands.

"Did you want something, Emmett?" I asked rather tersely. Emmett stopped fidgeting and looked at me.

"Listen, Edward, I know I'm the last person you want to take advice from, but I went through the exact same thing as you, except I went through it with Rose, one of the most stubborn women to walk the earth." He sighed as he shook his head. I nodded, knowing he probably wasn't exaggerating.

"I heard that, Emmett! You're so paying for that later!" I heard off in the distance as she approached the house. I chuckled.

"Aw, Rose, Come On..." He begged. I fought to control the smile on my face. Suddenly I was brought back to the present and I remembered the reason I was sitting in the forest, ripping trees from the roots when I heard Bella's sobbing as the front door opened to the house. I put my elbows on my knees and placed my head in my hands.

"You okay?" He asked, as if he didn't know.

"I have no idea what to do anymore." I said through my hands.

"I know, man, I've been there."

"Does it get better?"

"When Bella is ready to open up, it will get better, but you can't really make her talk about it. She needs to be ready for you to help her. Then things will start to get better." He said sincerely. I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Did Rosalie do this?" I asked.

"I knew Rose years after it happened to her and the only difference was that Rose's anger, resentment, and heartache had years to grow. Bella's lucky," I growled slightly. This wasn't luck at all. "You know what I mean... Anyway, Bella is luckier than Rose because she has you and she knows that she has this entire family. Rose didn't know that yet. When Rose found me, she instantly knew she had to save me, and even if she didn't know that she did, she loved me and I loved her. It took her a while to understand that I no matter what I was always going to be there for her. At first, no matter how much she loved me, she continued to push me away and I never even knew what had happened to her. She thought she was protecting me, Ed. She didn't keep me out because she didn't love me; she kept me out because she did love me. I know it's hard to understand, but Rose came around when she realized I was still here. Bella will, too." His voice was so sincere and so serious. Both are rarities when it comes to Emmett. I moved my face from my hand and looked at Emmett.

"I just want to be there for her." I said softly, knowing if he wasn't a vampire he would never have heard me.

"No offense, Eddie, but you can't do that out here." He said lightly. I glared at him for calling me Eddie. He smiled at me. I realized he was right and I took off in the direction of the house.

I stopped at the beginning of the clearing and turned to Emmett, "Thanks." I said. He just nodded and smiled. I took off in the other direction, towards the house.

I got to the house and saw Rose sitting on the couch, seemingly reflective. She looked up from me and gave me a weak smile. I nodded and took off towards my room. I entered the room and Alice stood up from the bed. My Bella was wincing as she hugged her knees and sobbed into my pillows. My heart broke again as I saw her lying there on her side. I picked her up as she continued to sob and I slid her into my lap as I sat on the bed. I stroked the hair from her soaking face.

"Bella, I will never leave you. Please, never doubt that. I just needed to take care of some things. I'm so sorry. I'm right here." She continued to sob into my chest and I kept stroking her hair. I hummed her lullaby but it was easily drowned out by her sobbing. I shook my head and continued to hum and let her sob and I fought to hold back my own dry sobs. She fell asleep crying in my arms and I heard Rose in the hallway.

_'I'm so sorry, Edward. I wish there was something I could do for her, or for you.'_ She thought, while she leaned against the other side of the closed door in the hallway.

"Thank you, Rose." I whispered, knowing she was sincere.

_'Can I talk to her when she wakes up? You know, really talk to her?_' She asked.

"Sure." I whispered tersely. I was at a loss at any alternative I may have.

_'Thanks. I'll be back when she wakes up.' _I nodded. I knew she couldn't see me, but I figured she knew because she was no longer there. I continued to hum and rock Bella back in forth. It will get better. I chanted to myself until she woke up. If I didn't believe that, she wouldn't.

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Review!!


	21. One Thousand Doubts

_Thank you guys so much for the awesome reviews!  
There's so many! I am close to 400! You guys are uh-mazing!  
_

_I'm glad you all enjoyed Edward's POV and a lot of you liked Emmett. I love Emmett, so I'm glad you like him! And yes, I do for-see him being quite a goof, but I think peole just need to realize how fantastic he can be. _

_Anyway, this is the chapter where you will learn about what Rosalie had to say to Bella (since the wedding!). I like it. I don't know if you guys will. _

_Happy Reading! (Don't forget to review!)_

_**Disclaimer: Not it.**_

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The iron grasp around me didn't loosen as I stretched, looking into a dark room. I shifted so I was looking at my husband. "I slept all day, didn't I? What time is it?" I asked ashamed. My throat was scratchy from falling asleep sobbing and my nose was stuffed from crying too much. I coughed slightly, trying to release some of the pressure built up in my head.

"It's okay, you needed the rest. Besides, you awoke rather late this morning. It's about 8 P.M." He said as he moved my hair away from my face. I shook my head, I didn't care how late woke up this morning, I still slept all day. I shook my head trying to shake the anger from waking up so late out of my head.

"Sorry..." I mumbled. He looked at me confused. "I overreacted...again." I sighed sadly. He shook his head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, love." He said as he kissed me on the cheek and stood up. I moved to stand up as well, before he stopped me. I looked into his eyes and noticed they were a deep gold rather than a light honey. "Rosalie wanted to talk to you, is it alright if she comes in here and talks to you while I go hunting for a little bit?" My heart sank. I hated that he left so often lately.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked sadly. He moved closer to me and kissed my forehead.

"Only an hour or so, I won't be far. Not even far enough that I won't hear you if you call for me. Alright?" I nodded. "I'll be back in a little while. I love you." He said as he kissed me with more passion than he had since our wedding day. I put my arms down on the bed to keep me from falling. It amazed me how his kisses could still make me so weak.

"I love you, too" I whispered. After he kissed me with less passion this time he left the room slowly. Rosalie slowly approached the door frame and knocked on the already open door.

"Come on in." I whispered, knowing she could hear me. My throat was too scratchy when I spoke to not whisper. She had a glass of water in her hand and brought it over to the bedside table along with Tylenol.

"Alice said you might want that." She said sweetly. I nodded and took a gulp of the water as I swallowed the blue and red pills.

"Thanks." I said with a scratchy voice. She nodded. "I don't mean to be rude, but, well, is there a reason you wanted to talk to me?" I asked. She nodded.

"It's not rude, I understand." Sometimes even if Rosalie was very quiet and terse, she was great in understanding when other people weren't in the mood to have lengthy chats. "Bella, I wanted to talk to you about what happened and what is happening..." She said. I knew what she was talking about. I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it. "Bella, I know you're trying to do everything you can not to think about it, but you can't keep doing that. Eventually you're going to have think about what happened." She said softly. I shook my head.

"But not today…" I whispered, turning away from her. I pulled my legs onto the bed and wrapped my arms around my knees loosely, trying not to upset my already sore body.

"Bella, you'll have to face it sooner or later, anyway." She said briefly.

"I choose later." I mumbled into my knees.

"Bella, you really need to face this." Her voice began sounding impatient, but still oddly caring.

"You just don't…" I began before she cut me off.

"I don't what, Bella? Understand?!" Rosalie had always been the most frightening person in this family to me, and seeing her blow up only proved me right to be afraid. I pulled my head off of my legs and stared at her. "Is that what you were going to say? Screw that! I understand more than anyone in this house will! I can't even remember the sound of my mother's voice or my father's smile! But I do remember the look in that monster's eyes as he ripped my innocence from me. Don't even start with me about 'not understanding'!" she screamed. I winced as she stormed off to the other side of the room.

"Rose…I-I'm sorry… I know you understand." I whispered. She shook her head as she stared at the ceiling.

"No, Bella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I thought it would be easier than this." She muttered angrily. "Bella, I know how hard this is for you. It was hard for me too. That's all I was trying to say. But you have to believe me when I say, it's just going to get harder and harder if you try to avoid it." She said softly as she made her way back to the bed and sat next to me. I shifted nervously.

"I don't want to think about it." I whispered.

"Neither do I, but we have to. Before I met Emmett even with Carlisle and Esme and Edward around, I felt like I was alone. When I found him lying in the forest it was an instant attraction, but I had no idea why or what that feeling really was. When he was finally changed and we spent more time together I began to fall in love with him. He had no idea about my past and I didn't want him to have any clue. When we started to get closer, I realized how scared I was about everything. I didn't want to be close to him because I thought that the moment I told him everything that he would feel guilty, or feel sorry for me. I didn't want that." She sighed. My heart sank, hearing what could be my story.

She began again, "I was bitter because of what Royce did to me physically, but more so, I was angry that because of what he did. Thanks to him, I could never be close to someone again. Eventually, Emmett and I became more serious, and as we did I got more and more scared. I tried to run, Bella. I tried to run because I didn't want to hurt him and I knew that the closer we got, the closer I was to having to tell him what had happened so many years before.

"I ran for days when I finally crashed. I collapsed somewhere in South America and I just lost it. At first, it was rage. I began hunting like a wild beast. Over the next few days I shut down. I stopped moving, hunting. A few days later, Emmett found me somewhere in Peru. He did something I didn't expect from anyone. He looked for me and searched for me for a week.

"When he found me he didn't say anything. He picked me up, even though I was filthy, and he carried me home. When we got to the house Carlisle and Esme came at me with limitless questions. I was still so distant, I couldn't respond. Emmett didn't stop; he just carried me to my room. He ran a hot bath for me and he took care of me. He didn't even ask what happened or why I was such a mess. I finally came out of my catatonic state, or whatever you want to call it, and he didn't even pressure me. He just asked if I wanted to talk about it. Eventually I told him the entire story, and right when I thought he would take off running, he just held me closer to him. Without Emmett I don't believe I would have ever gotten over it. He showed me that I wasn't such a mess and that I wasn't just 'used goods'. Bella, Emmett's love is what saved me." She looked at the ceiling as she reminisced and sighed.

I sat on the bed, staring at the wall, trying to process everything I had heard. "A lot to digest?" She asked, laughing lightly. I swallowed and nodded.

"Bella, I didn't mean to come in here so you could listen to mine and Emmett's love story. I just want you to realize that even though you're trying to help Edward by keeping him out, it's only hurting you and him. Bella, he loves you and would search for years to find you, but, please, for my family, don't make him. As miserable as are now, it will only get worse. Trust me. I know you don't believe me, but maybe it's time to let Edward in…" She trailed off. She stood up.

I looked up at her nervously. Was she leaving already? I wasn't ready for her to be done. I had questions. My voice was gone. I was still thinking about what she had said. She smiled sweetly.

"Edward is home. I should get going." She said quietly as she headed towards the door.

"Does it get better?" I asked in a choked whisper as she approached the door. She didn't even turn around, but she bowed her head low.

"Yes, with time and love." She said softly. I nodded. She opened the door and began to slip through.

"Rose?" I called. She turned swiftly on her heel to look at me. "Is this what you wanted to talk about at the wedding?" I asked quietly. She nodded. "Thank you…" I whispered. She smiled sincerely and nodded and slid out the door.

I slowly stood up from the bed and made my way over to the closet. I grabbed the note I had found yesterday and put it in the pocket of my sweat pants. I heard Edward open the front door and I heard him come up the stair slowly. I walked over to the bed and after straightening the sheets and making the bed I sat in it; just waiting for the conversation I had been dreading for weeks.

As a thousand doubts flashed through my mind all I could do was sit and wait for him and pray that he would still understand.

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	22. I Always Miss You

_Hello Everyone!  
Sorry this update has been so far off!  
I have had quite the difficulty writing this chapter. I'm sure I'll end up rewriting it soon.  
I don't know how much I like it._

_Feel free to leave some comments about how it unfolded._

_Thanks to all of you who are leaving those WONDERFUL reviews.  
You all make my day.  
Keep it up! _

_This chapter had been redone!  
The beginning is the same, but about halfway down is an entirely new section.  
This is an extremely long chapter now.  
Enjoy!! Review!_

_New chapter isn't planned for two or three days._

_One if I get suddenly creative, but I doubt that will happen.  
_

_Read and Review!_

_Thanks!_

_**Disclaimer: Still not her!**_

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I paced anxiously around the room as I heard the door slam shut

I paced anxiously around the room as I heard the door slam shut. The note in my hand rattled as I folded and unfolded it, trying to keep my hands occupied. I kept a close watch on the door, waiting on him to walk in. I knew it would be soon. My breath and hands were shaky and I felt off balance, even worse than before I had talked to Rosalie. I had to sit down. I made my way back over to the bed. The moment I turned towards the bed and took my first step the door opened and Edward's smooth voice said my name causing me to jump. My startled jump in addition to my already shaky body caused me to slip on my own feet on the hardwood floor. I braced myself for impact as two iron arms surrounded me and lifted me up into a cradled position. I went stiff in his arms.

"What are we going to do with you?" He sighed playfully.

"Put me on the bed?" I said, trying to sound funny. It didn't work.

"Of Course." He said simply as he carried me to the bed. He placed me on the bed and sat beside me. "Bella, is something wrong? You seem shakier than normal." He asked as she brushed the hair from my face. I shied my face from him. I saw the hurt in his eyes when I did that, even though there was understanding there too.

"Edward," I started. My voice trailed off. "I-I think we need to talk…" I said quickly, wondering if I said it faster he wouldn't get worked up about it and that it might hurt less, for either of us.

"I agree." He said simply. I was surprised at how easy it was. I wasn't quite sure how I would start the conversation. There was supposed to be more questions. He would ask a question. I would answer. I looked out the window to avoid his questioning gaze.

"Bella, is there something you wanted to talk about, specifically?" He asked innocently. I nodded. I still was unsure of what to say. He nodded like he understood. "Would you like to go somewhere in which our family cannot hear us?" I looked back at him from the window.

"It's getting dark." I muttered. He chuckled lightly.

"I'm certain we'll be fine." He said sweetly. "Would you like to go?"

"Yes, please." I said quietly. He smiled weakly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He walked over to my side of the bed and picked me up, carrying me bridal style. He walked at a human pace for my sake until he reached the front door.

"Go ahead and close your eyes, now." He said gently. I closed my eyes and buried my head into his shoulder and I felt the wind whip my hair around me. In a matter of seconds the wind stopped and I felt Edward shift me in his arms.

I turned my head so that I could look to see where we were. As I looked out into the land, I saw the miles and miles of green fields surrounding us. We were standing on a large hill and had a magnificent view of the colorful sunset. I sighed as he sat me down on a fallen tree made naturally into a bench. The tree was set against a cliff, giving me something to lean back on. I rested on the bench as Edward sat beside me. I shifted so that I could lean against him and he wrapped his arms around me. The atmosphere was quiet as we watched the sun set slowly.

"Bella, love," He broke the silence, "Is there something specific you wanted to talk about?" He asked harmlessly. I nodded.

"Edward, I talked to Rosalie for the first time since this whole thing happened. She told me about how she pushed Emmett away because she thought it was right for him, but all it did was hurt him. Edward, I don't want that to happen. I know it already has started to happen, but I miss you. Even when we're in the same room, I miss you. I tried to shut you out, but Rosalie was right. Edward, I need you. Everyday, I need you. I married you so I could spend the rest of my life with you; and then some. I haven't told you about any of this, yet. I haven't told anyone about this, and I was never planning to. After listening to Rose and about how Emmett was the only one that could save her, I realized how much you deserve to know this." The words kept flowing; one after the other. I had to work to stop talking.

"Bella, if you don't think you are ready to talk about it, I don't want you to feel like you have to." He said kindly, unwrapping his arms from me as I struggled lightly to sit up. I leaned against the cliff and stared at the darkening sky and sighed.

"I won't ever be ready, Edward. But, this needs to be said." I whispered. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." He said simply. I nodded slowly.

I took a deep breath and began the story.

"Ever since…it…happened I have been more scared of losing you since we have come back from Italy. When Jacob left me lying in the garage, I was stripped of every ounce of humanity, innocence, and self-awareness I had. It was like I faded away. He left me bleeding and before he left and before Sam broke down the door Jacob threw a ratty blanket around me and whispered how much you would hate me when you found out what he had done. H-He told me that you wouldn't love me now that I was 'used goods'." I was shaking and fighting back tears, but I continued, determined to see this through.

"When Sam found me, he carried me to his house and he and Emily begged me to go to Carlisle, but I refused. I assured them I'd call him when I got home, but I couldn't. I couldn't let any of you know what had happened. I was so scared when you would find out that you would just leave. I couldn't have that, Edward. I couldn't have any of you leaving. You all are my family." I was crying at this point. His eyes were so sad and made me feel like breaking. "When Alice found me I didn't want to speak, or smile, or breathe. I just wanted to fade away. Alice took me to the hospital and the next thing I remember is you showing up.

"When you arrived, I was so scared that you wouldn't love me. I was scared that I wasn't worth it. I didn't feel worth it. Every time anything reminded me of him, I'd just freeze up. I get so frightened. On the wedding day, before I saw him was the first time in a week that I had felt normal. I wasn't looking over my shoulder and waiting for him to show up. Then, he showed up at the wedding. Everything he said that night was what I had feared since it happened. I was so afraid that when you saw how weak I was and how much he took from me that you wouldn't love me anymore. On the wedding night I was so ashamed that I couldn't have our wedding night. I wanted it so bad, but just taking a step caused my entire body to throb." My body ached lightly as I shifted positions.

"All I've been able to think about since we left is the change. I keep hoping that the change is going to erase it all. I want to forget that it all happened. I want to leave that all behind. I just wanted to forget. When we finally got here, I-I thought that it would all start to disappear. I thought that I could finally get away from him. And I was, until I found this."

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out the note I had left on the floor. I rattled the paper around trying to open in, my hands shaking too much to open it easily.

"I found this that day that you and I went on the walk. This is what Alice was screaming about. He must've put this in the bag sometime during the wedding night." I said softly, handing him the letter. He grabbed it cautiously and began reading it; his nose wrinkled at the scent. His eyes grew tense as he read it and he stiffened severely.

"Bella, it's all a lie. Everything on here is just him trying to get inside your head. Please, Bella, tell me you don't believe this." He begged. I couldn't tell him anything. I just bowed my head in response. "Oh, Bella, please listen to me. I could never leave you; especially not over something like this. Even this has only brought us closer." I shook my head as the tears fell slowly.

"It's also torn us apart. I feel so distant from you. It's as if we are millions of miles away, even when we are together." I whispered so softly even he would have to strain to hear me. "I don't want to feel so distant anymore. I miss you so much."

"Shh, Bella, I miss you as well, but we have never been distant. I love you too much to let you go over something like this. I know you need time to heal from this, and I've been waiting for you to be ready to talk about this." He said, wiping the tears from my overflowing eyes.

"He was right, though, Edward, you'll get bored of waiting for me to heal and when I finally heal after I'm changed I will be so boring. I will be nothing but another Vampire." I started sobbing.

"Oh, Bella, that could never happen! Nothing about you bores me or ever could! I love you, Bella! And as much as I love your blush, and listening to your heartbeat at night, and listening to you mumble in your sleep, I love you for you! Not your human nature!" I continued to cry as he picked me up and put me in his lap. After a few minutes my sobs stopped and resolved to sniffles.

"Would you like to go home, or would you like to talk longer?" He asked quietly. I felt so raw and exposed. He said he still loved me, but it's so hard to believe that.

"I think we should go home now." He nodded as he picked me up and held me in his arms for a brief moment before taking off into the forest. A few minutes later we were at home. He entered his room and placed me on the bed before lying next to me. I was lying on my side facing him when he laid down and I stared at him. No matter how sad he is, he is always beautiful. I sighed as I stared at his godly face. He smiled weakly.

"Bella," He called, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I hummed.

"We really need to talk about your change before you go to sleep tonight." He said softly. His smile fading from his face. I nodded for him to continue. "Bella, would you like to do the change soon, or would you like to do it after you heal?" He asked quietly. The slight smile on my face fell into a frown.

"I-I want to do it sooner." I whispered quietly. He nodded.

"How soon?" He asked sadly.

"Whenever you are ready..." I said, not raising my voice. Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm ready whenever. Alice and the others are volunteering to take me hunting tomorrow. I could be back by the next day and we could do the change then." He said seriously. I felt tears sting my eyes again. I shook my head to get rid of them.

"I don't want you to go, if you don't want to change me..." I muttered.

"Bella, I told you in the forest, I do want to change you. I do! I'm just so afraid that you will regret it, especially with all that has happened.. I love you too much and I don't want to hurt you." He said quietly.

"Edward, don't you know I love you?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"Of course I do!" He said quickly as he moved closer to my face and stroked it.

"Then why would you ever think I would regret a day of my life spent with you? Human or Vampire, I love you, Edward and I never want to spend another day without you! I will never regret that decision." I said sternly. His face softened and he looked me in the eye.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered.

"I love you, too, Edward." I whispered back. He smiled and kissed me softly on the lips and pulled away too soon. I bit my lips where his lips had just been.

"Would you like to make the change the day after tomorrow?" He asked softly. Looking deep into my eyes. I nodded. He sighed and continued, "Alright, then, you can stay here with Carlisle and Esme and the rest of us will go hunting and be back early the next morning, before you even wake up. How does that sound?" He asked kissing my forehead. I nodded.

"Okay, well, I will be gone when you wake up in the morning, so I can get a long hunt in. I will call you when you wake up and I will keep calling you all day to make sure you are okay. Does that sound okay?" He asked worriedly. I nodded.

"I'll miss you." I whispered. He smiled sadly.

"I'll miss you too, my love." He said as he kissed me sweetly. "But, I'm afraid it's getting late.. It's time for the human to sleep." He whispered lightly. I giggled.

"And time for the vampire to hum her to sleep." He chuckled as I nudged closer to his chest and rested my face against his rib cage. I felt him sigh and inhale heavily as he breathed in my scent. He started to hum my lullaby before i started to fall asleep. My consciousness slipped away as I was stuck in a place between sleep and awake. I woke up startled and I struggled against his arms.

"Edward!" I almost shouted. He sat up.

"Bella, What is it?" He asked startled.

"I-I...ummm..." I blushed as I stuttered, embarrassed by my reasoning.

"Bella, you can tell me anything." He said cautiously as he cleared my hair from my face..

"I...Um...I love you, Edward." I whispered as my blush grew worse. He looked at me sideways. "I didn't want you to leave without hearing me say that." I whispered. He chuckled as he laid back down and pulled me with him.

"Oh, Bella, what will we do with you? I love you, as well. G'Night, Love." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. I mumbled my good night into his chest and nodded off quickly, begging the morning not to come too soon.

But it came anyway...

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Review!


	23. As Quickley As It Happened

._Soo... I apologize for my lateness in updating!_

_I feel like it has been forever!!_

_Writers Block + Final Exams Torture_

_I finally got a lot of writing done and this is the base._

_BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ THE UPDATED VERSION OF CHAPTER 22._

_I edited a few nights ago and added to it. PLEASE read that or half of this won't make sense. _

_So...I have the next 5 chapters written and my Beta has already edited them because she's so fabulous. _

_Anyway. Read and Review. there is a GIANT cliffhanger at the end of this chapter and you will all hate me for it._

_The more reviews the better! I have to go to school and take my last two exams and if when I get home (six hours from now) and I have more than 490 reviews then I will update. Mwahaha. I'm evil._

_Review! Read!_

_**I'm not Stephenie Meyers...in case you didn't know.**_

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_It was dark and the furious flames engulfed every inch of my body. I was on fire, or that's how it felt, and I was flailing helplessly. The pain wouldn't subside and I was screaming so loud that the sheer volume shocked me. I could feel the venom reaching every inch of my body, slowly and painfully reaching my heart. After what felt like days of this endless pain I felt the flames dull. Suddenly I opened my eyes, new senses over powering the old ones. I could feel them taking me over. I could smell everything. I could hear the wind in the trees miles into the forest. When I looked out the large window on the right of the bed I could see for miles away. Because of my new senses I had forgotten about my biggest fear. Where was he? He promised he wouldn't leave my side. _

_"EDWARD?" I screamed out panicked. A few moments later he slowly walked in. He looked bored and annoyed. _

_"Edward," I sighed out of relief that he was here, "What is it?"_

_"You have to go. I don't want you anymore." His eyes were cold and unlike him. It was as if the topaz had frozen over. Was he being serious? I couldn't breathe. I did this for him, for us. And he just doesn't want me anymore?_

_"Edward, W-What do you mean?" I choked out._

_"You aren't my Bella anymore. You're boring. You're just like us, now. Your skin is cold, your eyes are red," I gasped, I had forgotten about the color of my eyes, "You don't blush anymore, you don't smell good at all and quite frankly, when you were thrashing around you looked awful and horrible. I don't want that. I need more, Bella. I don't want you anymore. This is my family, Bella, not yours. You should just go." He sounded so matter of fact; so bored._

_I couldn't speak, I was lost and the room was spinning. "No! You're family, they care about me, too. I know they do. Where are they? They won't let this happen!" I shouted, I had to have someone support me. One by one they walked into the room. They all looked as bored and annoyed as Edward did. Oh No, I thought. "You all don't want me to go, do you? Please say you want me to stay." I begged._

_One by one I stared at them, each time they responded with a simple 'no.' I stopped at Alice. She looked at me cold and mean. I had never seen Alice like this. "Alice, You want me to stay right? You still care about me!"_

_Alice just rolled her eyes, "Bella, I don't care about you! I only forced myself to like you so that Edward would finally be happy for once. Now, he's bored, so I could really care less."_

_I felt myself giving into my human habits. I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to hold myself together. I sobbed, tearlessly, as they all left. Edward didn't even say goodbye. He just left. They all just left. I was alone._

I woke up in the king sized bed shaking and sobbing. Were they really gone? I looked around for Edward. He wasn't here. I began sobbing harder.

"Bella, Honey, its okay! It was just a dream!" Esme's voice was laced with worry as she emerged from the door. "Bella?"

"E-Edward! Esme, where's Edward?" I stuttered.

"He's out hunting, Bella. Don't you remember? He went hunting today for your change." She said calmly as she sat on the edge of the bed. I nodded my head slowly, still shaking. She reached out and touched the back of my hand causing me to fight myself not to rip it away from her…

"Bella, dear, he's on the phone with Carlisle. Alice had a vision that you had a horrible dream and Edward called right away. Come down when you're ready to talk to him, okay?" She asked, ever so sweetly. I just nodded.

Edward was going to hate me for this. This would drive him away even more. I had finally told him everything and I'm sure he already was sick of me for saying it all. This would only distance us more. I couldn't let him come home for this, no matter how much I wanted to see him. I got ready as fast as I possibly could and downstairs almost falling twice.

I stumbled on the last stair when I saw Esme and Carlisle sitting peacefully on the couch. Esme was curled up perfectly in Carlisle's lap while she read and he continued to talk on the phone with Edward. They both looked up when I reached the bottom step and Esme warmly smiled as I blushed about not being able to stand. Esme offered me a seat on the couch by patting the cushion next to her. I smiled as I carefully walked over and sat down. Carlisle handed me the phone as Esme put her book down.

"H-hello?" I answered softly into the phone.

"Bella!" he shouted. I cringed at his volume. "Bella, are you okay? I saw it in Alice's head, you were so scared. I'm coming home." He declared. He was talking so fast my head spun.

"No! Edward, don't come, stay with your family. I'm fine. I-It was just a bad dream. No big deal, no harm done." I lied.

"Bella, are you sure? Alice said it was horrible and you woke up sobbing. I would have been there but we were already too far away." He said too fast again.

"Edward, it's fine. R-Really, I'm okay." I lied again.

"Bella, you're a horrible liar, love. If you insist on me staying here, I will, but I want to know what happened, alright?" He questioned.

"Fine." I said, defeated. I had about 12 hours to make up a good lie.

"Bella, are you sure you don't wa-" I cut him off.

"Yes, Edward. Please stay and have fun." I begged.

"I won't have fun, but I will try. Have fun with Carlisle and Esme." He insisted.

"I will, I love you." I told him.

"I love you, too, my love." He answered. I pulled the phone away from my ear as he shouted.

"Wait! Hand the phone to Carlisle for a moment. Alice insists on talking to him and won't tell me why." I hummed a response and handed the phone to Carlisle who took it willingly.

"Hello, Alice, what's going on?" He asked calmly, yet firmly. As the voice on the other line spoke only loud enough for me to hear a humming, Carlisle nodded patiently. "Why would she be coming? She knows she isn't welcome here." He waited a bit longer. "Are you sure that is all she wants?" He asked warily. "Alright, Alice, thank you for warning us. Enjoy the hunt. Goodbye." He hung up the phone and placed it gently on the table and motioned for me to sit down. I nodded and took a seat across from him and Esme and he smiled up at me sadly.

"Bella, Alice has had a vision that Tanya will be coming to visit." My breath stopped at her name. "She assured me she is only coming to apologize and that is all. She said she even wants to apologize to you personally. I know it will be difficult, but we won't leave you alone with her for a moment, is that alright?" I tried to regain my breathing and nodded.

"Would it be okay if when she got here I just went up to Edward's room?" I asked shyly and Carlisle smiled.

"Of course it will be, Bella, whatever makes you more comfortable. We can even ask her to leave, if you would like." He said smiling. I smiled back as best as I could.

"No, that's alright. As long as I don't have to see her, I will be fine." I said lightly as Carlisle nodded.

"So, Bella," Esme began, "Tanya will be here in less than an hour and then she will be leaving shortly after. When she leaves, what would you like to do today? We could go to Anchorage and see a movie, or get some lunch. Whatever you would like to do we can do!"

"That's so nice of you guys, but do you mind if I just stay home and read? I'm afraid that dream actually wore me out. You guys can still go to a movie or something, I'm just so tired." I blushed shyly. I hated being dull, but I guess that's who I was becoming.

"Of course! We can all stay right here! As you can see, we're rather into reading, ourselves." She pointed over at a pile of books on the coffee table. "Feel free to read anything you find in this house. I'm sure we could start a library if we collected them all." She chuckled lightly and Carlisle smiled and they turned back to their books.

"Thank you so much." I grabbed the book I had left on the coffee table and began to read. A few moments after I began reading my mind started wandering.

As soon as my thoughts hit a climactic breaking point the doorbell rang and three short knocks followed, pulling my head out of the clouds. I stood up quickly scrambling to get my book. I looked to Esme and Carlisle for permission to leave and they smiled and nodded sweetly.

"We should be done soon, Bella, we will call for you when she has left." Carlisle said sweetly as he stood up to answer the door. I walked off quickly to Edward's room as Carlisle made his way up to the door and Esme stood up, straightening her shirt.

I made it up the stairs and was almost to the door when I heard her enter the house. My breathing hitched and I opened the door frantically and entered the room, closing and locking the door behind me. I made my way over to the bed. There was a note lying on the bed that I had failed to notice during the commotion this morning. Edward's gorgeous handwriting covered the slip of paper and was as beautiful as ever. I picked up the note and began to read.

_Bella-_

_Please don't be frightened about my return; I will be back in less than a day and I can't wait to see your beautiful face again. I miss you already. I love you always._

_Edward._

I smiled to myself and put the beautifully folded note into the top dresser with all of my intimates. I would keep that note forever. I walked carefully over to the black couch sitting near the window. With my book in hand, I sat down on the couch and pulled my legs up as well so that I was in a curled position. I looked around the room and for the first time noticed the actual room.

The walls were painted a vibrant red and all the furniture was a sleek and modern black or white. The bed was a wood frame painted a glossy white with antique carvings in them; simple, yet elegant. The dark comforter with red stitching stood out gorgeously and each piece of furniture was intricately placed. Even something as simple as a Cullen bedroom was breath taking. I sighed as I picked up my book and began reading again.

After a few minutes reading, I got tired of trying to focus on the swimming words. I closed the book and laid my head back on the arm of the couch and strained to hear the conversation taking place downstairs, but still had no luck hearing any of them. I sighed and closed my eyes picturing Edward's beautiful face sitting next to me. Oh, how I missed him.

Suddenly the phone rang shrilly throughout the house. I jumped and my heart raced as the phone went silent; someone had picked it up downstairs. As I opened my eyes it was like suddenly everything was quieted. It was the silence that you know is waiting to be broke. I looked around anxiously, my breath catching in my throat.

In that second, glass shattered from the window and as a red flash ran past me, everything went dark. And just like that, it was over.

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	24. Unreliable Promises

_Okay... So this one doesn't really count as a full update. It's very short.  
It's just the abduction from Carlisle's POV. I like it. It's a small snippet, so only a few reviews and you get a new update. (The next update had Edward's POV and how he's reacting to it. So review!_

_10 more reviews and you get an update! That's 491 reviews total!  
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_

_**Still not stephenie Meyer.**_

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As Esme and Tanya continued a serious talk that I was supposedly apart of, I listened to Bella in her room

As Esme and Tanya continued a serious talk that I was supposedly apart of, I listened to Bella in her room. She must have been sitting still reading, because all that I heard was the ruffling of pages and her steady breathing. I heard her shut the spine of the old book and her breathing got more focused. I brought my attention back to the conversation at hand, assuring myself that she was okay.

"Tanya, while it is appreciated that you have come to apologize, what you have said to Bella was not something that is easily overlooked. What you said and the rashness of what you said was nothing but surprising coming from you. I don't believe you should feel so open to visit as you would have before this happened." I said, sternly. Tanya looked insulted and I was appalled that she had reduced to such crude behavior. The phone rang loudly through the house and I heard Bella's breathing speed up and I heard the fumbling of her regaining her composure. I smiled to myself and stood up gracefully. "Please excuse me." I said softly, nodding my head slightly. I walked briskly over to the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" I called into the receiver.

"Carlisle, where's Bella?" Edward's voice was rushed and anxious.

"She is in your room, Edward, what is going on?" I asked, trying to remain calm.

"Alice said all of a sudden her vision just went black. She said she could see Tanya and you and Esme, and she could see Bella on the couch and then it just went black. Carlisle, what's going on?" He asked quickly.

"I don't know, Edward. Everything is fine here." Right as the words left my mouth there was a crash upstairs. The sound of glass shattering rang through the house and through my ears.

"NO!" I heard Edward scream as I dropped the phone and ran upstairs to see what was happening.

I ran as fast as I could and the moment I got to the door, I saw that russet wolf carrying Bella's limp body over his shoulder out the window. He growled in my direction as he jumped out the window and took off sprinting. I jumped out the window after him and continued to chase him with an amazing pace, even for what I am. His scent was everywhere and made it impossible to track him. He had been waiting for this.

I cursed quickly under my breath as I darted off towards my home. Esme was standing worriedly on the front porch.

"Esme, where is Tanya?" I asked quickly, continuing on my way to my phone, dialing Edward's number.

"She left when she heard a crash. Carlisle, you don't think she had anything to do with this, do you?" She asked quietly.

"Honestly, love, I don't know what I think." I said quickly.

"Carlisle, tell me she's safe. I beg you, tell me she's safe." He pleaded. The sadness in his voice killed me.

"Edward, I can't tell you that. Jacob broke into the room while Esme and I were with Tanya. Jacob has her and he was too fast for even me. His scent was all over the woods, I couldn't even begin to hunt him." I explained. "I'm so sorry. Are you on your way home?" I asked trying to get him here sooner.

"Alice won't let me drive, but Rosalie is taking the Volvo and driving Alice and me home. Jasper and Emmett are going in the jeep. We should be home in little over an hour. Please, Carlisle, help me bring her back safe." He begged.

"I will do anything I can to bring her home, Edward." I promised as we both hung up the phone.

Esme and I paced anxiously in the living room. "Carlisle, what can we do?" Esme asked softly and desperately.

I shook my head and sat down on the couch. I placed my elbows on my knees and rested my face in my hands. "I don't know, love, I just don't know." I whispered. Esme sat beside me and rubbed the small of my back soothingly.

"We can't lose her, Carlisle. We have to find her. This family would be incomplete without her!" She said sadly. I sat upright and leaned against the back of the couch as she pressed herself against my chest. I held her to me and inhaled her scent trying to remain calm.

"I know, Esme, we will find her, I promise you." I whispered into her hair as she cried tearlessly into my chest.

I prayed I wouldn't break my promise.

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	25. My Heart Cried Out For Her

_Longer chapter. Be happy! Throw a party. Leave reviews!_

_I'm tired! Thanks for all the FANTASTIC reviews!!_

_Next chapter won't be updated until my Beta sends it back. _

_Until then,_

_-Madi-_

**_STILL NOT HER!_**

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I didn't want to leave Bella

I didn't want to leave Bella. The feeling of leaving her was horrible. I only came because I knew it was for my own good and for hers. I needed to hunt before I changed her. I needed to hunt so it would be easier to stop when I bit Bella. I figured we would just go up to some woods somewhere and I would eat dull, but my family surprised me by taking me up to one of the local mountain ranges that had an increase of Mountain Lions. My attitude even brightened when they told me this out of my love of lions.

After hunting quite a few lions the phone call I had made to Bella only made me miss her more. I already missed her, but when I found that she had a nightmare after I had left, all I could think about all day was seeing her. I was so angry that I had left. Why couldn't I have just stayed in Willow Creek? I wouldn't have to miss her and I would have been there when she woke up. I was in the process of punching the nearest tree when the wind shifted and I smelt the sweet smell of a lion. I crouched down, staring at the lion waiting for its next move.

"Edward!" Alice's voice shrieked through the forest. I figured it could wait, seeing as how I was ready to attack a large lion, Alice could wait. "EDWARD!" Her voice screeched again. "Edward! It's Bella!" Alice could wait, Bella, however, could not. I took off running.

I found Alice in a matter of seconds. "Alice! What is it?" I grabbed her by the shoulders before her vision flashed across my mind. Bella was sitting peacefully in our room, glass shattered, Bella screamed and then suddenly… nothing. She was gone. "We have to call Carlisle!" I shouted. I took out my cell phone and dialed quickly and waited anxiously for the phone pick up. Carlisle answered the phone softly. Why, of all days, was he being so peaceful?

"Hello?" He answered slowly.

"Carlisle! Where's Bella?" I demanded loudly, shaking with rage.

"She is in your room, Edward, what is going on?" He asked, sounding too calm.

"Alice just had a vision. She said she could see Tanya and you and Esme, and she could see Bella on the couch then the glass broke and Bella screamed and then it just went black. Carlisle, what's going on?!" I asked angrily.

"I don't know, Edward. Everything is fine here." The moment he spoke the sound of glass shattering rang through the phone and Bella's scream filled my ears.

"NO! DAMMIT!" I shouted as I heard the phone hit the floor. Alice was pacing in front of me and shuddered at the volume of my voice. I was shaking again. "Alice, get everyone now. We're leaving." Alice stared at me for a moment. "NOW!" I bellowed and the forest shook. She took off running and I ran in the direction of the cars. I waited at the cars anxiously for everyone else. In a matter of minutes they were all standing in front of me, looking irritated. Jasper's face filled with concern and Rosalie and Emmett looked at me impatiently.

"Something has happened to Bella. We need to go now." I said, trying to stay patient.

"Aw, come on, Eddie! We just got started! I had a nice bear lined up and everything!" Emmett whined.

"Emmett, shut the hell up! That mutt has Bella!" I screamed. Emmett's face tensed as did Rosalie's and Jasper's.

"I'm driving." Rosalie said shortly as she ran over to me and stole the keys from my hand. I went to object but realized I was in no state to drive. I crammed myself into the backseat of my Volvo as Alice loaded into the front. Emmett and Jasper jumped in the Jeep and drove off as quickly as I did.

As touching as it was to see how protective they all were of Bella, my anxiety didn't subside. I needed to see her now.

"Rose!" I screamed, crammed in the back of my own Volvo. "Can't you go ANY faster?!"

"We will BE there in less than a few minutes, Edward. And for your information, we're almost hitting 195. Thank you." Rosalie snapped back.

I rested my elbow on my knee and placed my fingers around the bridge of my nose. I squeezed, trying to relieve the pressure. All I could see when I did this was Bella lying alone and bleeding. I couldn't keep doing this. I felt the car come to an immediate stop as Emmett's wrangler pulled behind us. I slammed open the door to my Volvo and rushed inside our house to find Carlisle and Esme pacing anxiously on the porch.

_Edward, I am so sorry… This is entirely my fault. We will find her. I promise you. _He said to me through his thoughts. I shook my head angrily.

"This isn't your fault, Carlisle. I shouldn't have left her." I said through my teeth.

"I should have seen it sooner." Alice chipped in.

"We are not going to find Bella with all of you trying to blame yourselves!" Rosalie shouted at us. We all looked at her awestruck. No one expected Rosalie to be this determined about finding Bella.

"How are we going to find her?" Emmett asked innocently. Alice closed her eyes, focusing hard on something she couldn't possibly see.

"It's no use, Alice." I sighed, seeing the same thing she was; blackness. She let out a sob as she clung to Jasper. This family was bare without Bella, and we all knew it. Even Rosalie.

"We will just have to split up and look for them." Carlisle said, breaking the hopelessness. "When anyone even thinks they have found them, call everyone else. It is very vital that this it what happens. If what is happening is what I believe to be true, Tanya and Jacob are working together in this. However, tracking will be almost impossible; both of their scents have been all over this forest within the last day.

"How did we not catch their scents?" Jasper asked angrily. I knew the answer.

"She has a _gift_ of covering up her tracks." I said through gritted teeth. Jasper's fists tightened and Emmett grew more vicious.

"So, it's agreed to be sure to alert us if anyone finds anything?" Carlisle asked as we all started getting ready to run off. We all nodded and checked for our cell phones. In that second, we all took off running at a vampire speed, and none of us knew where we were going. My heart cried out for Bella, and it took everything in me not to break down sobbing for her. I had to find her. I had to bring her home safe. If I did not, I would never forgive myself…


	26. This Had To Be The End

_Hello, all!_

_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! You guys are absolutely fantastic! I love it! You guys have all given me great ideas and amazing feedback! _

_This chapter is a bit shorter, but trust me, the next few chapters are very long.  
_

_You guys are doing a great job of reviewing, so let's set another goal, shall we?  
If I reach 580 (yes, that's about 50 something reviews) then I will update the next chapter because it's in my possession as we speak.  
So get reading!  
AND GET REVIEWING!_

_Yes... this is another Cliffie. So I apologize._

_But... you love me... right?!_

_**I know I'm not nearly as good as the all-famous Stephenie Meyer...but, hey, a girl can dream... right?**_

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"This wouldn't have happened if you had stuck to the plan! You imbecile! Now we are both in trouble! They will find her! And when they do, both of our heads will have prices on them. Did you even think?! You IDIOT! I can't believe you were so stupid! You knew the plan! I would get in good with the family and you would get your precious human soon enough!!" A female voice shouted causing my head to ache.

"He was going to change her tomorrow! I couldn't wait any longer!!" An all too familiar voice yelled back. I felt my body grow limp.

The darkness began lightening as the sun burned into the old warehouse and into my eyes and into my bruised flesh. I moaned in pain as I tried to remember what happened. One moment I was sitting peacefully on the couch, the next, I hear glass break, I scream, and everything goes dark. Then I woke up here, but how? I looked around, trying to keep my eyes from hurting so badly. I went to shade my eyes but found my hands tied together with a thick cable. I wasn't even able to move my hands, because the pressure was cutting off my circulation. How long had I been unconscious and who had brought me here? My mind spun with questions and throbbed with a terrifying fear and bruises.

As I continued to look around a half clothed version of Jacob appeared in front of me accompanied by a hardly clothed Tanya. My head spun with questions. Why were they here together? Where was I? Why did thing bring me here? I closed my eyes, trying to get the questions to slow down.

"Ah, ah, ah, Isabella!" The cold voice scolded. "We wouldn't want you missing all the fun, now would we?" Tanya's shrill voice rang through my ears as she crouched in front of me and shoved me _playfully_ to wake me up. Jacob's snickered spitefully. I painfully stood up, trying to keep my balance and stepped towards Jacob.

I wanted to ask him why, but the moment I opened my mouth he appeared in front of me and picked me up by my throat and threw me into a broken down wall. I screamed out in pain and felt blood trickle down my neck and down my back. Tanya's eyes grew black; the bloodlust was taking over her. Jacob turned around.

"Leave, now. I'll take it from here." He growled. Tanya snarled and took off running.

"J-Jacob!" I cried, "What are you doing?! You're hurting me!"

"GOOD!" He screamed. I felt myself flinch under him. "If you're going to die, Isabella Swan, it will be at my hands! Not at your bloodsucking leach lover's!" He spat.

"The name is CULLEN, Jacob." I said through gritted teeth, choking out every word as his arm pushed into my throat.

"Dammit! Bella! I LOVE YOU! Why can't you see that if you just loved me that you wouldn't be in so much pain all the time! You are so oblivious to everything! Are you daft? Just choose me, Isabella, and this will all be over with. No more pain! No more denial! YOU LOVE ME, NOT HIM!!" He said shaking.

"No…" I said simply and angrily. I felt his arm press into my neck further, my air was completely cut off and I felt the hand around my arm tighten and the bones crushed under his inhuman strength. I screamed out in pain, with no noise. He threw me down onto the ground and the dirt and rocks scarped my face and my head felt like it was being sliced open. The blood loss messed with my vision and I couldn't breathe. This had to be the end; the end of everything

"I'm not going to kill you, Bella. I'm going to make you know that you love me. You won't escape and your precious bloodsucker isn't here to rescue you. Would you like to know why he isn't here, Bella?" He whispered as he leaned his lips closer to my ear, causing the hot breath to send waves of fear down my spine. "He's not here, because he doesn't love you. He would rather be a monster than be with you because you are worthless!" He hissed.

"You're a liar!" I choked, trying to remember what Edward had said. He slapped me across the face, causing skin to rip from pressure; I felt more blood ooze slowly down my face.

"He's the liar! He's not coming back, Bella! Face it! He left you again!!" He screamed.

"He needed to hunt…" The words came out in slurs.

"He needed an excuse!" He snarled back at me.

"Just kill me, Dammit!" I screamed painfully.

"No! You will survive this and when you do, you will love me instead of that leech." He said as if it was a proven fact.

"Never…" I whispered.

"Only time will tell… You'll see…" He kissed me forcefully on the lips causing blood to rush down my cheek from the already bleeding tears. With any of the strength I had, I tried forcefully to push him off. This only made him angry. All I could do is wait for the release, I was sure I was about to get. He stood up, fooling me into thinking he would be leaving. In seconds I felt my ribs give way as Jacob's foot pushed into my stomach. I screamed again. The pain took over and I felt reality slipping away.

And with that, he was gone.

"Edward…" I looked around to the dark surroundings. "Edward…please…help….m-" My voice trailed off and everything went dark.

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	27. Keep Holding On

Okay, you guys astound me!! I swear! 50+ reviews in only a few hours.

Here's the thing: FINALS are OVER! Enter party here

I'm psyched! You should be excited too because that means I will have many more late night writing sessions.  
(I do my best writing at midnight)

Soooo... That means more chapters are on their way!

Let's see, this is a deep chapter. I think this one (or the next one) is the chapter that I cried while I wrote it. Yeah, that's how intense it is. So read on!

Review and Chapter 28 is on its way!  
My Beta is proofing it now!!

Soo... Let's say... 650? That sounds good to me. Mwahahah. This is sort of a cliffie... But not as much. So you should all love me again. Because I love you all!

Read and Review!!

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The family searched frantically for any trace of Jacob or Tanya. I knew nothing would be found. She was known for being quite well at hiding things that she didn't want found. It was one of her many… _talents._ I ran for hours searching for something, even if I didn't know what I was looking for. The sun began to reach the west, meaning the day was soon to be over. I knew my family would be meeting up soon and I headed back towards the empty house, running as fast as I could, trying to outrun my thoughts; I ran to no avail.

I reached the house before anyone else from the family. I ran to _our_ room and searched the room for nothing and for everything. I saw the broken glass shattered across the room. I saw the latest book she had been reading opened and scattered on the floor. I ran over and picked it up and smoothed out the pages. I sat down on the bed and pulled her fragrant pillow to my face, taking in the scent of her. I folded my knees into my chest, as I had seen Bella do so many times, wondering if it really helped. As I hugged her pillow to me, I felt my body begin to convulse as short and quiet sobs took over my body.

_God, if you are listening, please take me to her. I need her and this life is worthless without her. Do to me what you wish, but please, bring her safely home to me. Please. _I prayed silently as I tried to steady my breathing into the pillow and failed. The sobs continued silently. I needed her warmth, her love. Someone entered the room and closed the door quietly. I didn't look up. I held my breath to contain the sobs and looked up slowly, trying to regain my composure. I was much too worried to file through the minds of the sibling in my room and couldn't smell due to the fact that I wasn't breathing. I looked up surprised to find Emmett standing out of place beside the bed.

"H-Hey, Edward…" He said awkwardly. I nodded, knowing that he wouldn't let the fact that I was sobbing over her go. He sat down on the bed, yet another surprise, and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up to him confused.

"Edward, we _will_ find her. I don't care what it takes; none of us do. We all want her safe and home. She's part of the family and you need her, we all need her. We won't stop until we find her, I swear." He said. He seemed so sure of himself. I shook my head as I stood up and ran to the wall in front of me and punched a large hole through it.

"Dammit, Emmett! Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I just stay with her?" I screamed as I punched another hole. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder in attempt to calm me down. I froze at his gesture.

"Edward, it's not your fault." He said softly. I shook my head.

"We should go figure out what we're going to do." I said; finished with the topic at hand. He nodded as we rushed off downstairs. Everyone stood anxiously around on the porch waiting for Emmett and me. As the 5 pairs of eyes watched me exit onto the porch, I nodded knowing they were all sending me some sort of apology in their head. I couldn't take it, so I did what I could to block it out.

"Let's get to the point. There's no scent of Jacob or Tanya anywhere. It's as if they disappeared out of thin air." Carlisle said, breaking the silence.

"Tanya has a talent for hiding things she doesn't want found." I said simply. My voice sounded indifferent even to myself.

"That is an entire different thing. How the hell are we supposed to find them if she has completely hidden her self and Bella from us?" Jasper said, almost angry. The emotion was getting to him and it was apparent.

"I didn't say she could hide herself, or anything else for that matter. She's just great at covering up her trail." I stated. Everyone was looking at me in disbelief. Did they think I didn't care?

"We all have to split up. There are 7 of us and there are 8 directions they could have gone. She can only cover up so much. If we go far enough, we are bound to find her. We can each take a different direction and call if we find anything." Carlisle concluded. I shook my head. He looked angrily at me. _Any Better Ideas?_ His mind asked almost bitterly.

"Tanya is smart; she isn't going to run far. She knows we won't be looking closely enough if we spread thin. They aren't far. We go in pairs. No matter who we are, a vampire versus and vampire and werewolf is not safe, especially if Bella is bleeding." I said matter of fact. Alice nodded.

"But, you're the odd man out…" Alice pointed out, stabbing a sword in my gut.

"I go alone." I said quietly.

"We will call each other on the hour. Do phone trees. Carlisle and Esme you two need to call Rosalie and Emmett and keep them updated. Rose and Emmett, same goes to you two for Alice and Jasper. You two keep me updated. Understood?" I asked, speaking quickly even for us. They all nodded and with that we were off.

45 minutes later, and four historic trees down, I came across a large clearing. It was almost too familiar to the one where I had brought Bella and endangered her life for the first time. As I ran to the center of the clearing I looked around taking it all in. After a few seconds looking around a flash of blonde hair ran through the trees. The trees rustled and birds flew from trees. It was her.

"Tanya! Show yourself! I know you are here and I know you know where she is!" I yelled. I didn't care if I was crazy, even the idea of seeing her was enough to threaten her, even if she wasn't there.

_Aw…Is little Eddie a little cranky without his little human? _Her cold mental baby voice rang through my ears, confirming and flaring up my anger.

"Don't Play Games, Tanya! You know where she is!!" I screamed louder.

_Of course I do, Edward, but why would I tell you? You'd just go find her and then I wouldn't be able to do this._ Even her mental voice seemed cruel. She sounded like she was begging for a prized possession that I was keeping from her. I turned around in another circle trying to locate her by her rustling the ferns and grass.

Swiftly, she appeared out of the forest and I felt her presence behind me. As I began to turn around slowly, hoping she wouldn't run off the moment I turned around, she ran behind me and pressed her body against my back. She hitched her leg up and ran it up and down my leg as I snarled. She rested her head on my shoulder as I refused to look at her. Suddenly her icy tongue slid against the shell of my ear, causing fury to boil within me.

"Come on, Eddie," She whispered, "I know you want me." The anger reached its breaking point as I whipped around too fast for her to react and grabbed her by the throat running her and throwing her into a tree. Her eyes turned a deep onyx to match mine, I'm sure.

"Tell me where she is!" I snarled in her face as she was pressed against a tree.

"I don't think so…" She whispered. Suddenly my family's voices filled my head.

"I'm not afraid to.." I began.

"To, what, Edward? Kill me?" She whispered maliciously. "Then you will never see your precious Bella again. Not only will I die, but so will she." She laughed slowly drawing it out.

_Edward, we have her clan. She will tell us. She won't let them die on her behalf._ Carlisle's voice rang through my ears. I felt an angry smile spread across my face.

"I knew you would see things my way." She said with a smile.

"No, I don't. I just know you will be telling me." I said, matching her spiteful tone.

"I'm not so sure, Eddie." I pressed my arm harder into her throat for effect as I heard my family approach behind me.

"I am." Carlisle stated behind me. I turned around to look at my family and saw that each family member had a clan member.

Suddenly Tanya's cocky façade fell into a snarl. "Let them go!" She hissed.

"Not until you tell me where she is!" I hissed even more viciously.

"Never!" She screamed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett pull out a lighter and flicked the light on and held it near a brunette's perfect hair.

"Tanya! PLEASE!" The brunette screamed. The other girls' face twisted with fear.

"Fine!" Tanya screamed, her face fallen. "She's in a warehouse, about 45 miles north from here." She said, defeated.

"It's over, Tanya." I said as I pulled away from her. "If I ever see you or hear you near my family again, I will personally burn you to hell where you belong." I whispered fiercely as I ran off in the direction to find Bella; my family close on my heels. We were closer and closer to finding Bella. I pushed myself harder and faster and did everything in my power to get there sooner.

_Bella…_ My heart cried. _I will be there soon. Please keep holding on!_

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	28. Slow Motion Rescues

_Hello, Fanfiction World!_

_So you guys OWN at the review thing. I absolutely love it! I get so excited!_

_So, this chapter is intense. To be quiet honest, I cried while writing it, and I've been told there are nice lines in this._

_Please Review and keep up the awesome work._

_The next few chapters are in the works so you will have to wait a couple of days to get them, but they should be here soon enough. I'm certain that the next few chapters are going to be very angering for a lot you because it's making me angry writing it. (The plot is great, but too stressful to think about!) _

_This one isn't so much a cliff hanger. Actually, It's not at all. So you cliffie haters will love this :P_

_I love this chapter... so... Enjoy!_

_(And this is a LONG chapter in comparison to my other chapters... soo... enjoy!)_

_**NOT STEPHENIE MEYER...IF I WAS... I WOULD NOT BE POSTING MY STORIES HERE. DUH.**_

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The warehouse I had seen from Tanya's mind reflected was only seconds away from where we stood. I could see it in the distance and the tracks left by that mutt and by Tanya were no longer covered up. I stopped a few feet from the doors to the old, broken down building, being sure to stop my family from entering. I closed my eyes and smelt the air around me. I smelt mutt and I smelt Tanya and then, like a wave I was hit by Bella's blood. My entire family's eyes turned black and Alice placed her hand cautioned on Jasper's shoulder. I looked up to everyone and got their attention.

"There's a lot of blood. Jasper, you stay as far off without getting into the forest. Stay near the building, but don't get too close. Rose, Emmett, you two should take the two exits. Alice, Esme. You keep perimeter watch. If he escapes through a window, stop him. Carlisle and I will go in and get Bella. Emmett, if I call for you, you need to come in and contain Jacob. Do you understand? Unless it is necessary, do not kill him, any of you. I want Bella to be the one to make this decision." I commanded. I was in charge and I felt weaker than ever. Everyone nodded and went to their posts.

Carlisle and I burst into the warehouse, which turned out to be one open space. Oil covered the floor along with old pieces of plaster and gravel. After seconds of looking around, Carlisle and I spotted Bella behind a pile of rubble from a fallen wall. As I began to run after her Carlisle's outstretched hand stopped me. I looked at him with black eyes and snarled.

_Edward, should you really be in here? She's bleeding horribly, I don't want you feeling even a little bit tempted_. He warned.

"Don't, Carlisle, I will not leave." I said through gritted teeth. Carlisle nodded and we continued running towards Bella.

In the heat of finding her I had forgotten why she was even here. Caught off guard by a hiding Jacob I was thrown into a wall. Carlisle hissed as he continued running towards Bella. As I hit the wall a furious Emmett pounced on Jacob sending him flying through the warehouse.

"GO!" Emmett screamed. I nodded and ran towards Bella to find Carlisle searching over her. Bella was covered in blood from her face, to her neck, to old scars that were reopened. Carlisle listened closely to Bella's fading heart beat. Her blood called for my instincts, but I didn't care. That was my Bella lying on the ground bleeding to death.

"Carlisle? What's wrong with her?" I asked anxiously, still afraid to look at the extensities of her injuries.

"Everything. Edward, this isn't looking good at all. She's already lost a lot of blood. He crushed her shoulder. Her ribs are broken, and she has a lot of broken bones. Her head is bleeding very badly and she is bleeding on her face and from a few other spots. She's unconscious and if she doesn't wake up soon, we will lose her." He said angrily.

"I'll kill him." I hissed as I turned to face the direction in which Jacob and the rest of the family ran.

"Edward, if you don't stay calm, we could lose Bella. I need to get her to a hospital now. Anchorage is only a few miles from here. I'm not scheduled to start until next week, but we have to take her now. I will find a way to be the one to take care of her. We need a car. We can't carry her like this." He was speaking so fast, and all I could focus on was my Bella.

"Edward, take off your shirt, I need to clean up some of this blood and try to get some of it to stop bleeding. Try and wake her up, she can not be unconscious right now; not with this severe of a concussion." He instructed. I ripped off my blue button up shirt leaving me in a white t-shirt. Carlisle began ripping the shirt in shreds and using it as a rag. It seemed as if every time he cleaned up a wound, she would just lose more blood. Carlisle kept them covered with pieces of cloth, trying to get them to stop bleeding. He used the majority of the shirt to prop her head up higher, to reduce the bleeding on the back of her head.

Alice ran into the building off guard and caused me to jump into a protective stance over Bella. Alice stopped yards from Bella. "I have a car. Emmett has Jacob contained. Well, unconscious, but contained none the less. Get Bella in the car, Edward. Carlisle, call the hospital. I'll drive." She instructed. All I could do was nod. I picked up the limp body that my Bella was so delicately trapped in. The blood on her arms and face smeared my white shirt red as I ran her to the car. Once in the car I sat in the backseat with Bella's limp body in my arms and Carlisle and Alice sat in front.

"Edward, you need to wake her up, now." Carlisle said sternly. I shook my head.

"She will be in too much pain…"I whispered as I continued to try and clean her blood face.

"Edward, if you don't wake her up, she will die! Wake her up!" He hissed. I nodded trying not to sob.

"Oh, Bella." I whispered as I pushed the hair matted with blood away from her face. "Bella? Bella, Please wake up. I need you to wake up. Don't do this. Wake up." Her heart was weak and she was hardly breathing. "Bella, come on! Don't you dare leave me like this. Bella, open your eyes. Please, Bella. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry." I leaned over her as I felt my body convulse in a dry sob, smearing her blood everywhere. "Bella… Bella, Please!"

Her breathing came in short gasps as her eyes shuttered open. I sighed as I sat up straighter to get a better look at her face. Tears slowly began mixing with the blood on her cheeks.

"Edw-" She tried, but it only resulted in her moaning and screaming in pain. "Edward! I-It h-hurts!" I heard the grinding of bones in her body as she flinched and convulsed. She moaned again and screamed. I saw Alice shake her head as she stomped on the gas harder. "Edward…I'm sorry…" She whispered through her tears.

"Shh, Bella, don't be sorry. This isn't your fault." I cooed, still wiping blood off her face.

"No! Edward! No, y-you n-need to go! I-I don't want you to be t-tempted. I d-don't w-want to h-hurt y-you." Each word felt like a new sword going into my body. She was lying here, nearly bleeding to death and she was worried about me.

"Bella…Hush, love, I'm fine. I will not leave you like this. You need to worry about you right now." I whispered, trying to get her to calm down. Her body was shaking and she was moaning between breaths.

"Edward, your eyes are black. You have to suffer because of me." She cried.

"Bella, I'm fine, I promise. Please, just focus on healing; for me." I begged. She nodded as she whimpered in pain.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice rang out officially. "I need some indication that you can hear me." She groaned, refusing to form words. "Very good, Bella. I'm taking you to the hospital right now, your injuries are far worse than I can handle alone. Do you remember what happened?" She nodded her head, tears still leaking down her face. Her eyes began to close as her body shook harder. "Bella, Listen to me! You can't go to sleep right now. Do you understand?" He asked quickly.

"It hurts too much…" She moaned. I looked up to him, begging him to do something. "The Darkness doesn't hurt…" She whispered as she closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed and became shallow and her heart beat lessened.

"Bella? Bella, Wake up!" I screamed at her to no avail. Carlisle cursed under his breath as we pulled up at the hospital where Carlisle took us in the Emergency entrance and had doctors called down to the hospital.

"Hello, Carlisle. You're not scheduled to start for a few days, are you? What brings you here? Your message said it was urgent?" A gray-haired man asked. I could only assume he was a chief of some kind.

"I'm afraid I'm not here on pleasure. My daughter-in-law has had a horrible accident. I need to take care of her. And I'm going to need some staff. Do you mind, horribly, if I use these facilities to take care of her? It's very important that I be her doctor." He said quickly.

"Well, I dunno, Carlisle. This is pretty risky. Especially since you don't officially start work here for a few days. But, family is family. I wouldn't want anyone else other than myself to work on my daughter. Go right ahead. Feel free to use whatever staff you need." He replied very nicely.

Carlisle nodded politely and called for a few nurses to come assist him. I placed Bella on the Hospital bed and stepped back on Carlisle's orders. Nurses were instantly swarming her and running in and out of the curtains they had wrapped around her bed. They put an IV in her and began transfusing blood into her so she would regain the blood she was losing. They wrapped gauze and bandages all up and down her arms and face. The heart monitor beeped too slowly and the blood they pumped into her body just continued to bleed out.

All I could do is stand back and watch as they put casts all over her body and as they ran around frantically looking for more gauze. I watched Carlisle start aligning her bones. I shook as I watched him pop her arm into socket. Was she still in pain? Could she still feel that? I sobbed as I thought of how that filthy mutt could have done this to my Bella.

Every second ticked away slowly and I felt like I was watching a slow motion film. Every movement was long and drawn out. All I wanted was for her to open her eyes. I just needed to know she was okay. Her heartbeat was unhealthily slow. I sat in the stiff visitor chair and held the bridge of my nose in between my fore finger and thumb. One by one the nurses began to leave. Slowly they were all gone except for Carlisle.

"Edward, this healing process is going to hurt. It won't be easy." He said sadly. I stood up without looking at him and walked over to her bedside. I sat on the edge of the bed and began to pull the hair away from her face. "I did all that I could do for her, but the healing could be difficult. She needs to rest, but the sooner she wakes up, the better chances she will have of making it through this. There is still plenty of room for complications."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I said softly. He just nodded. I sat by the bed for what felt like days until I heard her begin to stir. I looked at the clock and noticed it had only been a few hours.

Bella moaned as she opened her eyes. "Edward?" She called out.

"Shh. Bella, I'm right here." I assured her, standing up and leaning over the bed.

"Edward, it still hurts. Everything still hurts." She moaned again.

"I know, Bella. I know. Carlisle did all he could, but said it is going to be a very painful recovery." I said sadly. She stared at the ceiling as tears began to slowly crawl down her face.

"Edward?" She called out again.

"Yes, Bella?" I called back.

"Please, don't leave me." She cried.

"Never!" I said matter-of-factly. I lifted her up as gently as I could and slid her over a few feet in the bed. I lay next to her as she slipped in between the realms of consciousness and unconsciousness.

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	29. All I could Do Is Wait

_Hello, All!!_

_Thanks again for the marvelous reviews!! They're great!_

_Okay. So this chapter is REALLY short, but you all have asked me the same question every other review and I don't wanna respond individually because I'd have to write the same response and this adds a bit more to the story. I love writing in Edward's point of view, so it is in his POV again. I love it. _

_Pleeease don't complain about the length of this. I'm working pretty hard on this.  
Annnnd my microsoft word decided last night that he wasn't needed and just completely locked up and died. So I have to reinstall Word. Great, right? Punches software _

_Annnyway..._

_Read and Review!  
_

**_All of this belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer herself!_**

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As Bella slid back and forth to a conscious state, I lay anxiously in her bed while nurses and occasionally Carlisle came in to check on her charts and levels. If this wasn't my Bella, I could tell anyone anything about her charts and what's wrong with her, but I wasn't paying attention to any of that. When the love of your existence is lying in a bed hanging onto life by a thread, proving how much you know doesn't seem as important anymore. I shifted in the bed so that I could look at the clock, asking myself how long I had been lying here. The clock answered for me; 5 hours. I knew she was stable, and I knew that every now and then she stir in her sleep or wake up. I knew she was safe, but I needed more confirmation that she was alive and okay than that.

I heard Carlisle in the hall speaking to another patient's wife. Apparently cows will stampede when they feel it necessary and it appears unwise to try and stop them mid-stampede, especially if you are in your late seventies with health problems. Carlisle tried to console the elderly woman and eventually assured her that her husband would be fine. Even after she refused to believe him, Carlisle managed to get away and come to Bella's room. I stared at Bella's bruised and scarred face. Even when she was lying in a hospital bed, she was beautiful to me. I heard Carlisle open the door to the room and step inside quietly and shut the door softly behind him.

"Edward," He said almost inaudibly to get my attention. I slowly turned my head to face him, reluctant to look away from Bella. "Has she woken up since I checked on her before?" He asked as he made his way over to her charts. I shook my head. "She's still stable." He muttered to himself. He walked to her unbroken wrist and checked her blood pressure.

"Edward, to be quite honest, if she isn't responding at all, she is considered being comatose. If she doesn't wake up soon, it is possible that she has serious brain damage and could possibly not wake up." He said sadly and delicately, as if it would soften the blow.

"No, She is fine. Her body just needs time to heal. She will be fine." I concluded, refusing to believe that she wouldn't wake up. I couldn't believe that, I would go lose it if I did. Carlisle sighed as he looked up from her charts and looked me square in the eye.

"You need to be honest with yourself, son. If she doesn't wake up, you have to be prepared to change her. She won't be able to last long like this and it is your place to change her if need be." He said this so simply, I shook my head.

"She will be fine." I confirmed, yet still not sure of myself.

"Edward, I don't understand. Why don't you just change her? Make this easier for her and for the rest of the family. Her recovery will be so much easier if you just stop being so stubborn and get over your ego and change her." He said almost grudgingly.

"No." I hissed. I would not change her like this.

"Why not?" He said angrily. He was so protective of Bella; it was frightening even to me.

"I promised her that I would change her when she was ready! Not when she was lying in a hospital dying because of some deranged mutt!" I almost shouted back at him. Carlisle shook his head.

"Edward, we all do things we don't want to do. If it comes down to Bella dying or someone changing her, I will change her myself. If you can't get over your own self-righteousness, I will get over it for you." He said heatedly as he turned smoothly on his heels and walked out of the room. I looked down at my personal angel and whispered to her.

"Bella, please just wake up. Don't do this to me; to our family. I love you. Please, please just wake up." I whispered into her hair and placed my head on the pillow her head rested on and closed my eyes.

…and all I could do was wait.


	30. I had to Save Her

_Hello, Fanfiction world! _

_Thank you so much for the great reviews!! There are so many it's making my head spin! They make me smile and make me want to write more!  
_

_Okay, so this chapter is Jacob's point of view of kidnapping Bella. Warning: Jacob is very deranged (which you should know by now) and he thinks that what he is doing is all for Bella. I'm a psych student and I'm positive that this is really how they think. I'd tell you all the names of each disorder, but you'd grow bored! P So, yes as confusing as it is, Jacob believes that hurting Bella like this is good for her. Don't understand? Just read it, it will make sense._

_Don't kill me if Jacob's POV isn't up to par. I don't know how he thinks as much. Sorry if it's awful!!  
_

_The next two chapters are typed and in my documents and ready to post, but I'm cruel and refuse to post another one (Bella's POV of waking up in the hospital in which my Beta CRIED) until you guys leave me lots of nice reviews that make me smile. Pretty Please?_

_  
Read and Review!_

_Disclaimer: This All Belongs to Stephenie Meyer!! (Except the plot... that's all mine! Woot!)_

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Jacob's POV

We had done it. Tanya and I did it. We had finally done it. She managed to distract the leeches while it gave me time to rescue Bella. I had her and she was finally safe, safe from her bloodsucking parasite. I brought Bella to a warehouse about 50 miles south of the Cullen House. This was the place Tanya and I both decided on when we realized that the Cullen's wouldn't expect us to keep her so close to home. They would look farther away than here, and I would have time to convince her.

I carried Bella's limp and lifeless body to the largest room. The room had a gray concrete floor and boarded up windows, with the afternoon sunlight barely breaking through. There was oil and dirt and rubble spread across the floor leaving my footprints behind me. I sat Bella down and propped her against a wall. I crouched next to her and placed my hand on her chilled face. I wrinkled my nose at the disgusting smell of leech surrounding her. As I pet her cheek the doors to the warehouse swung open and an enraged Tanya stormed in and ran a few feet in front of Bella. She stared at me with disgust as I stood up and approached her.

"You Idiot!" She hissed through clenched teeth. "The plan was to get the Cullens to trust me again! NOT SUSPECT ME!" Her eyes were dark with rage as she snarled.

"I know what the plan was!" I snapped back at her. She was going to talk to Carlisle and his mate and she was going to get their precious trust back, which was necessary if I wanted another chance to find Bella. Every piece of me planned on sticking to the plan, at least it did until I heard them talking.

Bella was supposed to be changed tomorrow. I had to rescue her from that bloodsucker. I had to save her. When I was positive that both of the leeches were concentrating on the conversation I decided I had to save her right then. There was no other option. I waited too long and the phone rang. I saw Bella jump out of her seat. Her perfect face was diluted with fear. I knew then that if I didn't save her now, she would hate me for it. The phone call was _my Bella's _precious Edward. I knew that the psychic must have seen something, or what she didn't see was what scared them. I acted. I couldn't risk being found. I was already in wolf form, there was hardly a time I wasn't these days. Unless I was communicating with Tanya, I was a werewolf. I jumped onto the second story windowsill and I crashed through the window in seconds causing glass to shatter everywhere. Bella's face filled with fear and as I went to grab her. Her body went limp and she was unconscious. She must have fainted out of relief. I knew I had done the right thing. I heard the doctor running up the stairs and I grabbed Bella and ran out of the open window and ran as fast as I could to the warehouse.

"OBVIOUSLY NOT!" She screamed, "IF YOU KNEW THE PLAN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CARLISLE AND THE REST OF HIS FAMILY FINDING THIS PLACE! NOW I HAVE TO GO OUT AND MAKE SURE THEY CAN'T FIND HER!" She was furious and exasperated as she paced around the warehouse.

"They won't find us!" I countered. "You said it yourself! They won't think we would hide her so close! And if they do find us I'll just keep running until we lose them!" Arguing with a female vampire wasn't a great idea, but I didn't care. I would do anything to save my Bella.

"And where, pray tell, do you intend on hiding her? THEY WILL NOT STOP SEARCHING FOR HER! THERE ISN'T A PLACE ON THIS EARTH WHERE THEY WOULDN'T LOOK!" She screeched.

"I-I don't know! I'll find some place!" I was losing this battle.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had stuck to the plan! We wouldn't have to keep running! You imbecile! Now we are both in trouble! They will find her! And when they do, both of our heads will have prices on them. Did you even think?! You IDIOT! I can't believe you were so stupid! You knew the plan! I would get in good with the family and you would get your precious human soon enough!!" She continued to scream.

"He was going to change her tomorrow! I couldn't wait any longer!!" My anger finally broke and I shouted at her. My body was shaking with my rage. If Tanya kept yelling at me, I was going to morph. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella's limp body begin to move and her breathing stopped. She moaned in pain and tried to move but the cable I had tied around her hands kept her immobile. She began to slowly close her confusion-filled eyes as Tanya jetted across the room and crouched in front of her more menacingly than I had earlier.

"Ah, ah, ah, Isabella!" Tanya's cold voice scolded. "We wouldn't want you missing all the fun, now would we?" She playfully slapped her face and I felt a low growl rumble through my chest as the playful slap was much too hard for a human to handle. Bella moaned and I couldn't help but to let my laughter slip. If she thought this hurt, it didn't even compare to what her bloodsucker was going to put her through.

As Tanya stepped away from Bella with a pleased look on her face Bella pushed against the wall to slowly stand up. Where did she think she was going? I didn't intend on letter her go anywhere. She took a few steps towards me and I lunged at her. If she didn't remain still, she wouldn't understand. She opened her mouth to start talking when I grabbed her shoulder and threw her roughly into a wall. Suddenly a metallic rusty smell hit my senses and I knew instantly it was Bella's blood. I turned around quickly to see Tanya with a lustful appearance in her dark, nearly black, eyes.

"Leave, now. I'll take it from here." I commanded. Tanya snarled in Bella's direction and took off running out of the warehouse. I turned my attention back to Bella and tightened my grip on her shoulder.

"J-Jacob!" she cried, "What are you doing?! You're hurting me!"

"GOOD!" I screamed. I felt her body flinch under my strength. "If you're going to die, Isabella Swan, it will be at my hands! Not at your bloodsucking lover's hands!" I spat. I hated threatening her. I didn't want to kill her, but she needed to know I was serious.

"The name is CULLEN, Jacob." She said choking on every word. I felt my body begin to shake. I pushed my arm deeper into her throat and she gasped for air she couldn't get.

"Dammit! Bella! I LOVE YOU!" I shouted at her causing her to recoil severely. "Why can't you see that if you just loved me that you wouldn't be in so much pain all the time! You are so oblivious to everything! Are you daft? Just choose me, Isabella, and this will all be over with. No more pain! No more denial! YOU LOVE ME, NOT HIM!!" I was shaking badly and I had to keep myself calm.

She made an effort to take a deep breath and stared my square in the eye as she spat out a simple, "No…" I growled and cut of her air supply completely. I tightened my grip around her arm and felt the bones turn to crumbs under my hands. Her face twisted in pain as she tried to scream, but no noise escaped her. I threw her down onto the ground causing rubble to scrape her face as she gasped for air and tears raced down her face. Her eyes were fluttering open and she was fighting to stay conscious. I crouched over her and leaned my head close to her hear.

"I'm not going to kill you, Bella. I'm going to make you know that you love me. You won't escape and your precious bloodsucker isn't here to rescue you. Would you like to know why he isn't here, Bella?" My hot breath curled through her ear and I felt a shiver go down her back out of fear. I laughed quietly. "He's not here, because he doesn't love you. He would rather be a monster than be with you because you are worthless!"

"You're a liar!" She choked out in gasps. I couldn't stop myself. I pulled my hand back and hit her cheek with my fist and I felt the skin rip beneath it. I hated seeing her like this, but she had to learn.

"He's the liar! He's not coming back, Bella! Face it! He left you again!!" I screamed trying to keep myself in control. It wasn't going too well.

"He needed to hunt…" Her words came out in slurs and became difficult to understand.

He needed an excuse!" I snarled back at her.

"Just kill me, Dammit!" she screamed as her body thrashed in pain.

"No! You will survive this and when you do, you will love me instead of that leech." I knew I was right.

"Never…" She whispered weakly. I shook my head as anger became me. I stood up quickly as Bella slowly tried to inch away from me. The anger of watching her try to escape consumed me and I kicked her. I felt her ribs give way as my foot rammed into them. She screamed out and fell to the ground sobbing in pain.

"Only Time Will Tell... You will love me... You'll see..." I whispered as I caught a distinct smell in the air. One that filled me with rage no matter who I was with. My tremors became more violent and the only thought going through my head was to kill them. _Kill the bloodsucker. Kill the leaches that wanted to hurt my Bella. _I found an old pile of rubble and crouched behind it as I transformed back to my animalistic appearance. The doors swung open as the doctor and _Edward_ came running into the warehouse. After Carlisle and Edward had some sort of silent conversation they both took off towards her body.

As Edward passed my makeshift hideaway I jumped furiously into the air and landed on him with little effort throwing him into a wall making a loud crash. The leech doctor hissed as he leaned over Bella in a protective stance. I looked at Bella's body as Edward was pinned against a wall and he threw me off of him. He was running towards me when another flash of one of his siblings crashed into me throwing me to the ground. He hit my face hard enough causing it to break the flesh and ripping my cheek open as blood poured out. His eyes turned dark as he grabbed my hair and slammed it into the floor causing everything to go black as I felt him dragging my body somewhere I couldn't see. I felt my consciousness slip away from me with each ounce of blood lost and all I could think of was that I could have saved her and I failed.

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_I'm going to create a poll and put it on my profile of what color is that button!  
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Then go take my poll! I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS!!_


	31. Because it Has To Be

_Hello, everyone!_

_  
Okay, so as awesome as you all are with your reviews, I'm starting to think you are all getting a little lazy with them! I mean, you can only say so many things about a story, I understand. But they don't make me smile as much! I love you all the same, and to prove this point, I am posting this chapter only a few hours after I posted the last one! Therefore I love you very much! But I will not update the newest chapter (A HUUUUUGGGGEEEE twist, btw) until I feel that I have gotten satisfactory amount of reviews :P Okay, so... I'm setting the par at... 830... That is only 50 reviews for this chapter. Not toooo bad, right? _

_Do you still love me? Please say yes.. :P_

_Well, here is Bella's POV of waking up... so read away! cough and review cough_

**_Disclaimer: Don't you have it memorized? I do._**

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The white fluorescent lights flew in and flooded my comfortably dark and safe surroundings. I winced behind my eyelids at the sudden change in lighting. I slowly shuttered my eyes open and let myself adjust to the bland colors in the hospital room to see the spiking lines on the heart monitor. The beeping for the monitor combined with the smell of citrus air-freshener poorly masking the scent of the bodily functions and odors was making me nauseous. I turned my head from the heart monitor in hopes of escaping the noise. Every inch of my body throbbed as I gasped shallowly when I saw Edward's worried eyes watching me from only a few inches away. I tried to smile but it turned to a painful wince slowly. Edward's face fell and he slowly lifted his hand to my face to touch it. I closed my eyes as his icy hands touched the bruises on my face soothing them slightly.

"Hi.." I whispered with my eyes still shut, needing to break the silence.

"Hello, love..." He responded as he stroked my cheek. He slowly pulled his hand away and I opened my eyes and put my hand on his and placed it on my face again. I needed his touch right now.

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked warily. I didn't necessarily want to know, but I needed to know.

He brushed hair away from my face before returning his hand onto my cheek. "It's not important." He said almost inaudibly.

"Edward, please tell me..." I begged as I looked him in they eye. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You've been sleeping for about 12 hours..." He said cautiously. I felt tears brim my eyes. As the tears fell down my face the salty liquid seeped into some of the scratches causing them to burn.

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered as he wiped away the tears and placed his hands over the scratches like he knew they were burning.

"Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for; nothing at all. Please, Bella, don't cry."

"You must have gotten so tired of sitting here. I'm so sorry..." The tears continued to pour down my face quickly soaking my cheeks around his hands.

"Isabella Masen Cullen, I could never get sick of being near you. I just wanted you to wake up, love. I just needed to see your face." Even his assurance felt like lies. The dream I had when I had woken up this morning fled behind my eyes. He would grow sick of waiting on me and this was exactly why he would leave me.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I'm all better now. I can go home. We can go home and you can go back to hunting. All better." I said in gasps between short sobs. As I shook my head and began searching frantically for the end of the blankets so I could pull them off of me. The blurred vision made everything more difficult. I felt my heart speed up as the beeping got louder and faster. I searched my arms for the IV and tried to pull it out of my arm.

"Bella, stop, this isn't healthy. Bella! You're not fine! Bella!" He was nearly shouting as he grabbed my arms in an iron grip to contain me.

"But you're angry. Please, it doesn't matter, let's just go home." I sobbed.

"Oh, Bella, I'm not angry. I could never be angry over this." He said as he looked me square in they eye and refused to release me. I stopped struggling against him and sunk into the bed and sobbed harder causing every inch of me to throb even more.

"Please...D-Don't...Leave..." I finally choked out. He finally loosened his grip and he held me against his chest as I sobbed.

"Shh...Bella, I'm right here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." The tears didn't even slow. "Listen to me, Bella. I'm not leaving. I could never leave you..." He repeated as he rocked slowly.

"Edward..." I moaned, "It hurts so bad..." I continued to cry and he cooed me.

"I know, love. Carlisle is on his way." He whispered as he continued to hold me and rub soothing circles on my aching lower back. In less than a few seconds the door swung open hurriedly and Carlisle rushed to my bedside picking up the little clipboard at the foot of my bed and began checking numbers on the IV and the heart monitor.

"Bella, Can you hear me?" Carlisle asked very professionally. I moaned in response. "Bella, you need to calm down. I can give you something for the pain, but because of your heart's already weak condition due to the loss of blood, you could go in to cardiac arrest. You need to relax, can you do that for me, Bella?" Even through the pain I wondered how he managed to stay so professional, yet seem like such a father to me. I nodded and tried to take deep breathes as Edward sat me back down onto the bed and continued to hold my hand. Carlisle grabbed a needle out of the cabinet and placed in smoothly into the IV and I instantly felt the pain dull slightly. My breathes became less shallow and it was easier to calm down.

"Does that feel better?" Carlisle asked as he wrote something down on the chart. I nodded. "Good. Okay, Bella, there is something we need to discuss, but I need you to be in your best mind, okay?" I nodded. "Would you rather do it now or would you rather sleep now and we can talk later?" He asked compassionately.

"Carlisle, not now, she needs to rest." Edward said sternly. I looked at him and smiled as I gripped his hand slightly tighter.

"Now, please." I answered Carlisle's question and Edward looked at me with a scolding glance and I looked away before I thought about it further.

"Bella, when we found you, we managed to detain 'him', but we have all agreed that it is only fair for you to decide what want to do about him. He is going to remain contained until you decide how to punish him or if you choose to kill him." He explained. My mind rushed with options. Part of me hated the thought of killing my once best friend, but the I realized that this wasn't my Jake anymore. He was a monster; A cold hearted monster. I weighed my options. Do we kill him and never let him have the chance to hurt me again? Or do we let him go and spend the rest of my days looking over my shoulder for him? My heart sped up at the thought of spending eternity like that.

"Bella, you don't have to decide now. If it is too much stress it is perfectly understandable and more than okay to wait until you decide." Carlisle explained. Edward nodded quickly and I shook my head.

"No. I want him dead. I never want to worry about that mutt again and I will never be hurt by him again." I said positively. I nodded in agreement as I replayed what I had said. I had meant every word of it.

"Bella, are you sure? This is a very large decision. If you want to think about it longer I can--" Carlisle was trying to give me time, but I shook my head fervently and cut him off.

"I'm sure. Please, I want him dead." I begged. Carlisle nodded slowly.

"Okay, Bella, if you are positive I'm going to make the call to Emmett. Bella, you're sure?" He asked again. I nodded fiercely. He bowed his head slightly and excused himself from the room. Edward and I were the only one's left in the room and other than the monotonous beeping, it was silent. He continued rubbing circles on my back and as I sat in the upright bed, there was a slow knock at the door.

"It's Alice and Rose and Esme." Edward whispered in my ear causing chills to go down my back painfully.

"Come on in.." i whispered knowing they would hear me and I knew the pain would lessen with the lower volume. The door opened and suddenly all three of them stepped in and appeared at the foot of my bed. Esme smiled sadly and Alice's face was extremely sullen. Rosalie's face was an unpleasant mixture of anger, sadness, and a hint of indifference.

"I saw your decision, Bella. I'm proud of you. I know it's the right thing to do." Alice said sadly.

"Alice...You can't see anything involving Jacob..." I countered, confused.

"Silly Bella, I don't have to be psychic to know that this is the right decision. As your sister, your best friend and a girl, It is the right decision." She said with a smile as she gracefully came to the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Esme asked as she joined Alice beside my bed.

"Umm... Sore?" I asked confusedly. How was I supposed to answer that question. Esme chuckled lightly.

"Silly question..." She answered herself. I smiled and nodded a little. Edward even broke a smile. "It will get better..."

"I hope so..." I mumbled, more to myself than to her.

"Don't worry, Bella. Everything will be okay..." Rosalie said calmly, reminding me that she was here. I looked up at her and smiled. I knew she didn't just mean the physical pain. She smiled sweetly and it was the first smile I had seen in the past day that didn't make me feel pathetic. My eyes brimmed with tears as I repeated what she had said through my mind..

_It will all be okay...It will all be okay..._

And it will all be okay, because it has to be.

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_So, so far, the poll has pointed to lavender with a tie of periwinkle.  
Keep polling!  
But while you debate the color, REVIEW!!_


	32. I'm So Sorry

_Hello!_

_Okay, so the reviews were super amazing. I smiled more the past 24 hours than I have all week! :D Thanks everyone!!  
Sorry I was so greedy with them! You know how it is. :P  
_

_Soooo You guys are so impatient!  
You'll find out about the pack in this chapter.  
I had to have Jacob's reaction to the whole pack thing so I had to wait!  
Sillies!! _

_This is a big twist and a giant (HUGE) cliffie!_

_Please don't hate me! /_

_I wrote Jasper's POV and I don't know if I did him justice. I personally LOVE him, and I have never really thought about his POV until I wrote it a few days ago.  
Tell me what you think?  
_

_No review number as of now because I have yet to finish writing the next chapter. Hahah. Sucks to be you guys! :P_

**_I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own the characters. (Sadly)_**

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Jacob POV

I woke up and my head was throbbing. I was back in human form and there was a pile of blood on the ground, but the rip on my face was gone. I stood up and ran quickly through the room, looking for a window or an exit of some sort. Where was I? I racked my brain and realized I was in the basement of the warehouse where they had kept equipment. There was no windows and no way out. I had to get out. I had to save Bella. I weighed my options. I could change back into wolf form and bust through the walls, but I knew that there had to be at least one or two leeches out there. My chances were small. I stopped pacing through the room and listened for the "guard" outside my room. They must have been changing out because the big one was talking to the one that feels all the emotions; the younger one, I believe.

"There's a lot of blood; I didn't play nice. Are you sure you'll be okay?" The big one asked.

"I'll be fine. After what he did, I won't even think about it." The younger one answered almost spitefully. I smiled almost out of happiness, he was so much easier to overpower. My blood would save me today. Genius struck me. This could be my chance to get out. I stood up and began pacing again. I had to get out of here and I had an idea of how.

"Jasper? You okay?" The big one sounded concerned.

"Just his emotions.." He answered quietly. I smiled again. He was the one that dealt with the feelings. "What did Carlisle decide to do about the pack?" I stopped pacing. He was talking about my pack; my family.

"Carlisle called them. I'm going to meet them at the airport at," he paused, "Well, right now actually. This should be a pleasant visit." Sarcasm filled his voice. I had to calm myself before I ruined my escape plan. I knew even if I didn't make it out of here, Sam would never let me, his number two, get killed by a couple leeches. He would save me. I kept listening.

"What are we going to do with him?" Jasper asked him.

"Carlisle said Bella was decide his outcome, but no matter what the pack was going to be doing the punishing, because even after what he did, it's not our place." His voice was resentful. "What I wouldn't give to get my hands on that dog for a few more minutes. He'd be crawling away with a lot worse than a few blood stains." I had to contain my laughter. He wouldn't have been able to touch me if he hadn't caught me off guard. Then I realized what he had said, the pack would be the ones to carry out my fate, but no matter what, they would never kill me, smack me around for show maybe, but they would never kill me.

I stopped thinking about the pack when I heard the large one leave. I had to plan my escape. The young one, Jasper, he could feel all of my emotions... I've seen him when I watch Bella. I've seen him get overwhelmed by the feelings and have to leave. I could use this. He was so young, too; for a vampire at least. He was always the one they worried about breaking the 'diet'. That was it. I would break him. I needed to wait, though. I had to wait until he was less on guard about this. In an hour or so I would attack. I had to save her. I had to get out of here.

Jasper POV

I stood in the dark room leading into the farthest, most inner room in the basement, pacing out of boredom. The drying blood in the next room called to my senses. Even though it was werewolf blood, it was still blood and I had smelt worse. It got easier through the two hours I had been here. The blood was less appealing because it was turning old and unappetizing. Contentment and pride rolled off of the mutt in the next room in strong waves almost making me nauseous. Why was he so proud? Was he proud of what he did to Bella? He mangled her and left her bloody and ready to die. He was proud? Why was he so content? Did he want us to find him? Did he think he succeeded in killing her? The emotions drove unwanted questions through my head making me almost dizzy.

I felt my phone vibrate silently in my pocket as I pulled it out quickly, begging for a distraction. There was a text message flashing on the LCD screen as I opened it.

_New Text Message: From: Alice_

_Message/ I hate not being able to see you :( I hope everything is going well. I'm going to see Bella. I miss you. Shift over soon? I love you -Alice- 3_

Alice's love was the greatest feeling I had ever experienced and I never wanted to be without her. I smiled as I read the message and quickly text her back.

_Send text to: Alice_

_Message/ I miss you, too. Everything is as fine as it can be. His emotions are overwhelming, but I've had worse. Shift is over in an hour. I will see you then. I love you so much more. -Jazz_

I watched the screen flash and tell me that it was sent as I put the phone in my pocket. I never understood why I responded. She knew what I was going to say... Well, I guess she didn't today. I hated being around these mutts as much as she hated me being around them. I occupied my time by thinking about what Carlisle must have gone through saving Bella like he did. Why Edward didn't just changer her was still beyond me. He knew she wanted this, yet he refused to change her when she was so close to death. Stubbornness had rolled off of him at the warehouse when Carlisle must have suggested changing her. I shook my head as the wolves emotions changed from contentment to fear in seconds.

Paranoia was coming from the room in large doses. I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder or to crouch. I knew he wouldn't be stupid enough to try to escape, but I couldn't help but crouch in front of the door, waiting.

In a sickening fast pace his fear went to anger. I heard him punch a wall in the room, making a hole I'm sure. The anger filled me as well as I fought myself in screaming and taking out my anger as well on him. I knew that what happened to him was Bella's decision, but I wanted him to pay for what he had done and I wanted him to pay NOW.

Seconds before I was ready to break down the door sadness filled me. I was paralyzed in depression. His came from the loss of a love. My heart sank as I thought about being away from the love of my life for any longer. I fought myself again at wanting to run off to find Alice.

Soon the emotions hit me at once. His mind was going between feelings so fast I felt weak. I fell to my knees and tried to focus on why I was here. I had to keep him away from Bella. I screamed out lightly out of my lack of control when I was hit by a scent that rushed all remaining sense out of my head. Blood. I felt my eyes darken as fresh blood was spilled only feet away from me. I fought the monster within, but this took too much effort. I was standing with my head against the wall trying to breathe through my mouth. I listened for the voice that usually echoed through my head at moments like these. Alice's voice should be here telling me that he was another innocent human. But I knew different. He was not innocent, he was a raper and if we hadn't found him, he would have been a murderer. With the countless number of emotions going through my head and the smell of his blood, I felt myself fall to the ground as I heard the thick wooden door bust open sending shards of wood everywhere. I had to fight him. I stood up and as I went to attack him he caught me in my moment of weakness. I was thrown against a wall by a bleeding mutt and I couldn't do anything. The blood, the emotions, it was all too much. I felt his heated face near my throat as I struggled weakly against him. His teeth sank into my arm as I fought against him and his teeth ripped through my arm. I hissed and fought with any strength left in me. He hit me across the face causing my granite skin to give way. The pain was too intense as I felt him rip my arms and legs with his teeth and his paws. I couldn't move anymore. I couldn't even fight him. I had let my family down. I recoiled under him, waiting for him to kill me, hoping Emmett would stop him before he could ever hurt Bella again.

_I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sorry, Al-…_

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_Review_


	33. A Waiting Fist

_Hello, Lovely Readers!!_

_So the reviews made me smile so much! I love you guys! Thanks so much for all the lovely things you said and I'm not sorry for the evil cliffie in the last chapter. This chapter is more of a filler than anything. I have the other chapter written and beta-ed so all we're waiting on is for me to add it. The next chapter has Jasper and the descriptions of his injuries in it (not to mention a perfect moment between husband and wife :D). Persuade me to update sooner than 12 hours from now and you might get it. :P_

_Anyway! Enough torturing of the readers! (_

_Review, Review, Review!_

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer might as well own my brain!**_

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After everyone had left Bella and I were left alone again in the quiet room. I listened to her steady heartbeat as she rested against my chest as I had my head lying on hers.

I had come so close to loosing her, something that I had vowed never to do again. But here I was, thanking whatever deity was out there that she was alive and safe in my frigid arms.

"What about the pack?" Bella asked unexpectedly. I looked down at her as she tried to twist her head to see me.

"Carlisle already called them. Emmett has gone to pick them up from the airport now and he isn't too happy about it." I said with a smile. Emmett's reaction, according to Carlisle's thoughts and Alice's vision was classic, complete with whining and pouting. He had known that the pouting wouldn't work, but tried anyway.

"Do they know that I...Has anyone told them my choice?" She didn't want to face what her decision was, and I didn't blame her.

"No, we called them before you had even woke up. They just were told that we had contained him and that we were going to leave it up to you to decide the outcome. Their only request was that they be the ones to execute; which is understandable. They agreed with our decision of letting you decide what became of him." I explained. She nodded and the room grew quiet again. I could almost feel her anxiety and I would give anything to relieve her of it.

"Edward?" She called out to me in a quiet voice, breaking the silence.

"Yes, love?" I answered quietly.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked innocently.

"Of course, Bella, you can ask me anything." I responded honestly.

"Edward...w-why didn't you just change me at the warehouse? Alice said I was so hurt that i could have died... Why didn't you just do it then?" She sounded so shy as my body grew stiffer. I already answered this to Carlisle, but I knew that Bella would wonder as well. "Do you not want me, now?" She whispered breathlessly, I felt her body shake as a tear traced down her face. My heart ripped in two; she took my choice as rejection.

"Isabella, I always have and always will want you. I want to be with you forever, but I didn't want us to be together because of what he did. I want to change you because you and I are ready, not because you were so close to death. I wanted it to be your decision." I tried to explain as I held my breath, praying she understood what I meant.

"If you couldn't have saved me..." She began and took a painful deep breath, "W-would you have changed me then?" Her voice was below a whisper as tears fell slowly down her face.

"In a second..." I assured her. She nodded her head. "I hate to spend a few minutes without you and I can't even imagine having to spend the rest of eternity without you. Bella, please believe me when I say how much I love you." I said quietly as she faced me and I wiped the tears off her face. She nodded as she leaned against my chest again and her breathing slowly got heavier and her eyes fought to stay open.

"You should sleep..." I whispered and she nodded. I hummed her lullaby quietly as she fell asleep in my arms.

Carlisle's office was only a few yards away from Bella's room and I heard Carlisle ruffling through paperwork in his office when his phone rang. I listened to his thoughts to see who it was; Alice.

He picked up the phone and before he had a chance to say hello, Alice was screaming on the other line. I sat up slowly setting Bella down gently, so I could listen better.

"Carlisle!" Her voice was hysterical and she was screaming and gasping. "Carlisle, Please! Come home now! Please!" She was sobbing on the other line and I stood up from the bed, debating on if I should go to see what the problem was. Bella sat up in the bed.

"Edward, what's going on?" She asked lazily.

"Something is wrong and Carlisle's on the phone with Alice now and she's hysterical..." I answered, trying to find out what happened, but all I could hear was Alice's hysterics and Carlisle trying to calm her down so he could find out what had happened.

"Do you need to go to Carlisle?" She asked still half asleep. I nodded.

"I'll be back, I promise." I ran at vampire speed and kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes and smiled as she fell asleep again and I walked quickly to Carlisle's office. I continued to listen to Bella's room to make sure she wouldn't get panicked now that I was gone. I forgot to focus on the conversation at hand until Carlisle hissed under his breath and cursed loudly.

"I'll be home as soon as possible, Alice." He said angrily. I picked up speed and got to Carlisle's office faster than I probably should have. By the time I got to his office, Carlisle was closing his phone and shutting down his computer and grabbing his keys.

"Carlisle, what's going on?" I asked suspiciously. I knew something was wrong by Carlisle's dark eyes. I rarely saw his eyes this dark and angry. Actually, I had only seen him like this once, but I really didn't want to recall that particular... scene.

"Jasper's hurt. Jacob attacked him. I have to get home. Stay with Bella, make sure she stays safe. Get hold of Emmett, tell him to bring the pack to the house instead of the warehouse. Jacob is loose again." In seconds, anger consumed me before I realized how much danger Bella was in if I left her in that room again.

"I'm going back to Bella's room, call me with updates. I'll call Emmett." I said too quickly. He nodded as he walked at a quicker than normal pace to the parking garage. I ran to Bella's room at a face pace for a human. I didn't care at this point. I got into Bella's room and looked at the bed anxiously to make sure she was still sleeping peacefully. My hopes were rewarded as her breathing was deep. I paced around her room as I pulled out my phone and dialed Emmett's phone number quickly on my cell phone. I put the phone to my ear and waited for him to pick up.

"Eeeeeemmett's Werewolf Transportation, where we transport werewolves with a smile and a waiting fist, this is Emmett, how can I be of service?" Emmett's voice proved that he was smiling; proud of his own joke. I refused to tell Emmett what had happened to Jasper. They were so close, It would kill him. He would be in no condition to pick up the wolves.

"Emmett, get the pack and take them to the house instead of the warehouse and try and hurry. Everyone is at home waiting. Bella and I are still at the hospital." I said, trying to get him to hurry without making him nervous. I could almost hear his smile fall.

"What happened?!" he said angrily into the phone. I knew if he wasn't careful he'd break yet another phone.

"Just get home soon." I said firmly as I hung up, not wanting to break the news to him. I slipped the phone back into my pocket and stopped pacing.

I stared at Bella's face as she lay peacefully sleeping. The drugs she had been give hours earlier would guarantee her a few hours of sleep. I sat down tiredly into the armchair next to her bed and placed my head in my hands and asked myself how I ever let any of this happen. I should have just killed the bastard. Now my family is in severe trouble and Bella's safety was at stake. I shook my head as I placed my forefinger and thumb at the bridge of my nose and squeezed to relieve the pressure. I waited anxiously by the phone waiting for Carlisle to call, waiting for Alice to call and tell me Jasper was okay. My waiting was in vain. I knew if Jacob had hurt Jasper badly enough, he would need a lot of time to heal. I knew Carlisle wouldn't be home for another 30 minutes maximum. There was nothing else to do, but keep Bella safe.


	34. Nothing We Could Do

_Hello!_

_Sorry I didn't post this sooner! It's been a great day! (I won't bore you with details, don't worry!) _

_So thank you for all the marvelous reviews! I'm so close to 1000! I don't know how much I deserve you guys!! I don't know how to repay you so I guess I'll just have to keep posting more chapters! :P  
_

_This is Carlisle's POV. You will find out about Jacob now! Tuh-Duh! He's not dead. Next chapter has Sam, Paul, Jared and Leah. Depending on what time I wake up tomorrow I should post relatively soon so get to that reviewing!_

_I'm writing an even bigger plot twister now and you will all hate (then love) me for it!_

_More ReviewsMe writing faster!_

_**...Disclaimer goes here...**_

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The low purr of my black Mercedes rumbled beneath me as I pushed the car to a speed even Alice would be proud of. I was nearly 100 miles away from home and I needed to keep Alice calm and to meet with the pack. If I saw him before the pack could get to him, I would rip his head of his body at that moment. I'm not letting him hurt this family more than it already has.

I made it back to our Willow Creek Mansion, as Bella called it, in record time. I looked at the clock as I ripped into the driveway of the home; It had taken me around thirty minutes; give or take a few seconds. I shifted the car into park as soon as I felt the wheel slow mildly. Rosalie wouldn't be too happy about having to fix the brakes.

I ran at a faster than leisurely pace to get to Alice and Jasper's room. Esme was pacing anxiously outside their door, biting her granite nail out of a human pattern that she had yet to break even after so many years. I walked up the stairs and her eyes shifted from the floor in front of her to me. She gasped as she dashed to meet me at the top of the stairs. She threw her arms around me as she sighed heavily into my chest.

"Carlisle, thank god you're home. Alice is a mess! Emmett is due home any moment with the pack and Jasper seems to be in so much pain. Rosalie has been searching for the dog since we found Jasper more than an hour ago! Carlisle, he has to be stopped!" She sobbed into my chest as I held her. I let her continue to sob until she managed to calm herself as she just clung to me. After a few moments she stepped away and whispered to me. "They need you more than I do." She said as she walked to Alice and Jasper's room and she opened the door for me to walk in. I stepped through the door frame to see a sickening sight.

Alice was sitting on the bed with her head on Jasper's chest as his body periodically convulsed in pain. Alice was sobbing and Jasper was moaning in pain. I stepped forward as Esme steadied herself with the door frame. Alice looked up from her spot on Jasper's chest and sat up frantically trying to smooth her hair. The mutt would pay for doing this to my family, I promised myself that much. I had never seen Alice such a wreck even when we left Bella she managed to hold it together somewhat, but this was not like her at all.

"Alice," I said softly, waiting for her to move away from him so I could assess the damages. She shook her head slowly and moved only a few inches away from Jasper. Silver scars were traced down his face and his arms. His shirt was in shreds and I could see silver scars on his chest and stomach. His arm was nearly ripped from his shoulder and his neck had deep scratches still trying to heal. Alice hugged her knees to her chest as she sank into the wall the bed rested against. I walked quickly over to the bed and began looking at Jasper's wounds more closely. I knew there was nothing I could do for him; stitches wouldn't penetrate his skin, he had no blood to absorb morphine or any pain killer, his body would heal itself and although it would be quicker than any human recovery, it would be twice as painful. I ghosted my hand over his scars to make sure everything was healing correctly, even though the vampire healing would take care of that so I didn't have to. Jasper's eyes were still closed, and if I didn't know any better, I would have believed him to be unconscious.

"Jasper, it's Carlisle, can you hear me?" He kept his eyes closed as he moaned in response. Alice sobbed into her knees.

"Carlisle, please, help him..." Her sobs were muffled by her hands and her knees.

"Alice, you know as well as I do, I can't do anything to help him..." I felt so guilty. My son was lying here in immense pain and my daughter was sobbing and there was nothing I could do for either of them. I felt so helpless.

"DAMMIT, CARLISLE! You're the doctor! YOU HAVE TO FIX HIM!" Alice screamed hysterically. Jasper's eyes shuttered open. I sank slightly because I knew she was right, and what she was feeling was the worst feeling you could endure; watching your loved one lie in such pain for hours not being able to help him at all.

Jasper opened his mouth to talk and even then a moan replaced words as he tried again, "Alice, I'm okay. Carlisle is right, there's nothing he can do. I'm okay, I am. Everything is okay. Emmett and Ed are going to find the mutt and we're all going to make sure he dies a painful death. Alice, please calm down. I'm okay, everything is okay." His voice was so weak, and this moment was so tender, I felt like I was invading. I slowly stepped towards the door where Esme waited with a sullen face. I watched the two of them from the door as I embraced my beautiful Esme.

"Jasper you're not okay! Look at you!" Her voice was barely a whisper. "Oh, Jazz, I'm so sorry I let this happen. I'm sorry." She sobbed.

"Alice, love, please come lie over here. I may be in pain, but it doesn't hurt as much as watching you like this. Lie with me, Al, I'll be better in no time flat." He whispered. She nodded as she moved closer to him and lay down next to him and placed her head onto his chest. Even with Jasper injured Alice looked so small against him. I closed the door softly as they closed their eyes almost in sync. Esme and I walked downstairs slowly.

"That was the first time Jasper talked since we found him..." Esme whispered as our hands clasped tighter around each other's as we sat down onto the love seat. I sat down first and she sat nearly in my lap as she rested her head against my chest and curled her knees onto the seat next to her and placed her unoccupied hand in her lap as I absentmindedly rubbed circles into the hand I was holding. We waited patiently for Emmett to arrive with the pack. This matter could no longer be avoided. We had to find Jacob and we had to kill him before he could hurt anyone else.


	35. Before It Was Too Late

_Hello everyone!!_

_Okay, so I have reached over 1000 reviews and let me tell you, I am STOKED. I think I could have cried!_

_Today was a great day as well and getting this many reviews made it so much better!!_

_I really like this chapter. It's pretty long in comparison to my other ones. Tell me what you think, guys! I don't know how well I do Carlisle's POV, so you all need to tell me!_

_Review, Review, Review!_

_Sorry this story is a lot longer than I intended it to be! Oops! Don't get sick of me, please!!_

**_I'm... Not...Stephenie... Meyer... Duh..._  
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Less than an hour after we sat down Emmett's jeep roared into the driveway and came to a frightening halt as I heard Emmett's door open and close so forcefully that I'm sure Rosalie will have to mend it back on. Emmett rushed into the house swinging the front door wide open and was almost shocked to see Esme and I sitting so peacefully.

"What happened?!" Emmett asked angrily as he ran towards Esme and I. We both shifted in the seat so we were sitting straighter.

"Emmett, calm down..." I demanded strictly.

"Why did Edward sound so...so...angry and worried on the phone? Why did I have to come here? What is going on?!" He was almost roaring at this point.

"Emmett, I will tell you what's going on, but I need you to calm down. We all need to remain as rational as possible right now." As soon as the words left my mouth Emmett was sitting in the armchair across from us sitting impatiently. His legs shook anxiously and he tapped his fingers on the arm chair rather than crushing by gripping it. Less than a few seconds later than Jacob sat down, Sam and a few other members of the pack came stumbling in all moaning and holding their heads. Sam even looked in pain. I glared at Emmett. He looked up like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Carlisle," Sam began sounding less like a leader than normal. I stood up to acknowledge our guests. "As much as I do appreciate the ride from the airport, if there is ever a time when one of you will be giving one of us a ride anywhere, please don't send him and especially not in that jeep. I do believe someone has a concussion after that ride. I had no idea that the trip called for off-roading." He commented.

I looked to Emmett scolding him with my eyes and muttered under my breath. "It doesn't..." Sam looked up confused and I waved my hand to dismiss the whole thing. I thought to walk in to the kitchen to grab some aspirin to relieve our guests of their headaches, but I turned to find Esme with the bottle and a tray full of waters. She really was the perfect mother and wife. One by one the pack walked over and grabbed a few tablets and a glass of water and downed it in seconds.

"Make yourselves comfortable." I insisted as they all found seats in the living room. "Sam, I see you didn't bring the entire pack?" I noted. I looked from wolf to wolf. There was Sam, Jared, Paul and Leah. Jared and Paul looked severely sullen and Sam looked like he was at breaking point. Leah kept her arrogant, resentful disposition in a chair farther away from anyone in the room.

Sam nodded, "I asked Quil and Embry to stay back on the reserve, they didn't need to be a part of their former best friend's execution. I also had Sue take Seth off the reserve 'to take care of some things'. Seth almost idolized Jacob, and I don't want him to see what he has become; the boy has been let down enough in his life." Leah's bitter laughter rang through the walls as Sam glared at her.

"Oops, sorry.." She said, unapologetically. Sam turned his attention back to me.

"I apologize on behalf of her rudeness, Carlisle." He said resentfully. I nodded. The room fell quiet as the wolves drank more water. Emmett graciously broke the silence and coughed obnoxiously and obviously to get my attention. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It really did feel like he was a toddler sometimes.

"Yes, Emmett..." I called on him as I would a small child.

"You were going to explain why I rushed home..." He pushed. I nodded as I walked a little closer to the front door to keep Emmett from jetting after Jacob like I knew he would do. Emmett looked at me sideways from the chair.

"Alice had a vision of Jasper about an hour after you left to get the pack and-" I was cut off by an eager Emmett. You would think I was telling _A Christmas Carol_ to a boy on Christmas eve.

"Alice can't see mu-" Emmett caught himself and looked apologetically at Sam. He started over. "Alice can't see wolves... Jasper was with the mutt- I'm not apologizing for that-" I looked at Sam and he just shrugged. I assumed he understood the anger. Emmett continued, "so how could she have had a vision of him?" He spoke quickly and anxiously.

"Emmett, just listen, this is serious.." I said sternly. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I-It was a serious question!" He retorted. I closed my eyes and sighed. I felt like I should be sending him to the principles office for back talking.

"As I was saying," I continued, ignoring Emmett as he pouted. "Alice had a vision of Jasper lying where we held Jacob. The door to which Jacob was being held in was in shards and Jasper was nearly unconscious on the floor with deep scratches covering him. I was called immediately, and Rosalie has been chasing Jacob," Emmett stopped looking like a young boy and stood up quickly and made a B-Line to the door. I placed my hand on his shoulder and shoved him into a seat as I stared into his eyes as I continued, "and I'm almost positive she has had no contact with him and has been unable to find him, due to the fact that my daughter can still see her." Emmett relaxed slightly.

Sam looked puzzled as he slowly asked, "I do not mean to insult anyone here, by any means, but doesn't _your_ _kind_ generally have a special talent of smelling...well...everything? If Jacob was in wolf from, his scent would be easy to follow for days. How is it that Rosalie- one of your older daughters I believe- is unable to find him?" Sam asked defensively and a low growl rumbled in Emmett's chest. My hand clamped tighter on his shoulder, hoping he would get the picture.

"He's been working with a rather 'talented' vampire that has gotten quite good at covering his and her tracks." I tried to clarify for him. Sam nodded in understanding as Emmett twisted his neck menacingly as if he was going to go out and find Jacob that simply.

"It also doesn't help that we were down to one spare person at the time to search for him.." I added simply. "Jasper, my second oldest son, is quite injured and is upstairs as we speak and is healing, the damages are quite extensive and he is healing slowly but well. Alice is with him and is in hysterics, which you can surely understand." Suddenly Emmett's body went from a menacing stance to a worried brother. He looked up to me with big eyes.

"C-Can I go see him?" He asked quietly. His eyes were wide and filled with concern. I released my hand on his shoulder and he ran upstairs too quick for human eyes to catch. The living room remained quiet as we all attempted to listen to what happened.

"Jazz..." Emmett whispered as he entered the room... "Shit, man... I'm so sorry..." He was quiet and Alice's sobs only increased. I tried to stop listening to give them more privacy.

Sam stood up and paced angrily and anxiously in front of the couch. Esme watched carefully from the love seat she still claimed. Sam was confused and furious which resulted in what would soon be a permanent engraving of his path. He shook his head. "I don't understand, Carlisle, what does this mean? What is going on now? Why are we here in the first place? I understood that we were to punish Jacob, but has Bella decided what to do with him?" Sam asked many questions and they all deserved answers.

"It means that the same man that raped my daughter, then kidnapped her and severely injured her to the point of almost death, as well as nearly killed my second eldest son is loose and it is going to be nearly impossible to find him. That is what that means." I answered his first question fiercely and Sam looked taken back and apologetic.

"Secondly, you were here to carry out whatever decision Bella made, which happened to be his decease and I can't say I do not agree with her decision. After what he did the first time, he deserved to be punished, but after threatening her many times after that and finally acting on his impulse and nearly killing her, I agree with her conclusion." My voice was full of resent, yet something inside me pulled at my heart. As demented as this boy had become, he was still another life that my family was somehow tied with. Sam nodded and remorse filled his eyes. As much as I wanted Jacob's death, my heart went out to Sam. It would be like killing one of my family members. Even if I knew it was for the good of everyone else, it would be nearly impossible to bring harm to them.

"Sam--" I wanted to express my condolences about his situation before he interrupted me.

"Does Bella know?" He asked as he stared blankly into the wall; a look of bitterness crossed his expression.

"She does not." I answered simply. Sam nodded.

"I need to be the one to tell her. I need to see her anyway. I need to see what he did to her." He thought out loud. He pulled his gaze from the wall and looked at me. "I think it would make more sense if it came from me, he was my responsibility and he did this, therefore it's my responsibility to tell Bella. Carlisle, can you drive me to the hospital?" He asked.

"Of course, Sam. Just give me a moment to say goodbye to Alice and Jasper." Sam nodded as I headed upstairs. I opened the door to Alice and Jasper's room quietly and stepped in to tell Alice where I was going. Emmett was no longer in the room and left Alice and Jasper alone. Alice's head was lain sweetly on his chest as both of their eyes were closed, blocking out the world around them.

"I heard you downstairs. I'm not leaving until he's healed." She clarified in a whisper without even opening her eyes.

"I wouldn't ask you to. You know where I will be if you need me." She nodded, eyes still closed as I shut the door and headed to my Mercedes where all the wolves waited patiently. I looked at the porch to see Esme sitting graciously on a wicker rocking chair and Emmett beside it with his phone in hand. I looked to him for any new about Rosalie.

"She couldn't find him. She followed the only trail she could find for a few hours. She said she should be home soon, I'm going to meet her here when she gets back. We'll come visit Bella when she gets cleaned up." Emmett answered my unvoiced question. Although he was just a big child, he loved Rosalie and he cared deeply for Bella and I knew he wanted Jacob dead as much as any of us.

I opened my car door and got into the black Mercedes and the wolves followed, loading in one by one. We all buckled in and I waved goodbye to Esme and Emmett. Esme smiled and Emmett nodded. And with that I drove to the hospital about as fast as I drove home. Sam's knuckles were white where he had been wringing his wrists out of anxiety and the other wolves were crammed in the back as the boys tormented Leah and I couldn't blame them.

I looked over to Sam during the drive as we neared Anchorage. "It's not your fault, you know? This isn't anyone's fault but his own." I knew Sam was taking uncalled for responsibility for the situation. Sam looked out his window and he nodded.

"Yeah, okay..." He muttered. I knew he blamed himself, but if we were going to stop Jacob he couldn't. I only hoped he realized that, before it was too late.


	36. It Was Finally Over

_Okay, So I'm not going to lie, you all will hate me for this chapter. HATE. It took me 4 days to write and I'm finally okay with it thanks to my wonderful Beta! Please don't stop reading after this chapter, you will want to. I should have the next chapter up soon and it will answer your question I'm sure you all will be asking me. (Or shouting at me)_

_I hope this is up to my normal standards. This is Bella's point of view and I'm always scared I don't do her justice. _

_Don't kill me after reading this. _

_**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer; Story belongs to me!**_

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I was barely awake for a few moments when Edward stood up from his chair and walked towards me and kissed me gingerly on the lips. Even his cold lips didn't soothe the bruises and forming scars on my face. He ran his hand very lightly across the bruise on my cheek and I winced. They were deep and I felt even the slightest touch by Edward. He pulled away from me and looked at me with a fallen smile.

"Bella, Sam and Carlisle are coming here." He informed me. I didn't know why he was being so cautious about it. I had nothing against Sam; against any of the pack besides him. I nodded to tell him to continue because I knew he wasn't done talking.

"Are you okay with them coming to talk to you about, well, everything?" he asked almost shyly and avoided my eyes as he took my hand in his and focused on the circles he rubbed into the back of it.

"I've talked about it before, Edward." I reminded him almost heatedly. He looked up to me with pleading eyes and I instantly felt guilty.

"I know, but this time it's different, Bella. It's not just you and me this time. You'll be talking to Sam and Sam is going to be the one to carry out his execution. It's different." Something reflected in his eyes and I knew he wasn't telling me something, but I decided not to push him. I wasn't in the mood for a debate; my body was still too weak. I nodded.

"I'll be okay as long as you don't leave." I said quickly trying to get him to relax. His stiff body was only making me anxious which amplified the pain.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella." He said quietly and bent down again to kiss my forehead, but his body only became more rigid. I smiled and closed my eyes and the room grew silent as Edward stood beside the bed holding my warm hand in his cold one. I focused on my breathing, trying to convince myself to relax and that Edward was just being the over protective lover I married.

I was finally breathing deeply and focusing on keeping my heart at a nice pace until a loud crash caused my eyes to open quickly and for me to sit up much too rapidly. I screamed out as the pain caught up to me and Edward rushed to help me lie back down. My heart rate was too quick and my breathing was rushed. I was moaning in pain as I forced my eyes open to see what the noise was. Sam stood anxiously by the door to the hospital hallway along with Jared, Paul and Leah. Sam's eyes filled with apologies and I tried to quiet my moaning, but as I worked to control my breathing, the pain only increased.

"Carlisle," Edward said as he stared down at me uneasily. "She needs something to dull the pain!" Carlisle walked briskly to my bedside and placed a needle into the IV in my arm and the pain began to fade to a dull pain rather than a throb. My eyes fluttered open as I took a deep breath for the first time with out feeling the need to scream out. Edward's cold hand wrapped around mine and he looked me square in the eye and smiled weakly. I tried to smile at him, but it turned as somber as his. I couldn't look into his sad eyes any longer so I turned my attention to the scared looking Sam.

"Hi, Sam..." I said softly. His bowed head shot up and looked at me defensively. I smiled with every ounce of honesty in me and was surprised that it didn't turn up to be a grimace. He smiled sadly and walked closer to my bed.

"H-hello, Bella...How are you?" He asked almost noiselessly. I laughed lightly as he made his way to the foot of the bed.

"Just a little sore.." I said sarcastically. His face fell even more.

"I-I'm so sorry, Bella..." Sam whispered. I shook my head.

"Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault..." I tried to convince him.

"There's no one else to blame, is there?" He countered. I shook my head in disagreement.

"That's not true. We can blame him. He's the one that did this to me, not you.." I said genuinely. If anyone was to blame for this, besides Jacob, it was me. I wouldn't dare let Sam take the fall. Sam just shook his head, refusing to say more. He was too stubborn to agree with me, but he had no other explanations. The room grew quiet before Sam spoke up again.

"Bella, I-I need to talk to you..." He began before Edward cut him off. I glared at Edward. I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"She doesn't need to know about that yet! She has enough to deal with!" He hissed. Sam backed up and Carlisle stepped forward and stared directly at Edward who had let go of my hand and had flown across the room near Carlisle and Sam. I had no idea what anyone was talking about. My head spun with questions. I hated when anyone did this with Edward. I knew by Carlisle's face what was going on. Carlisle was having a silent conversation with Edward.

"No, Carlisle! She doesn't need to know about it!" Edward shouted causing me to wince after the silence was broken. What don't I need to know? I felt weak.

"She deserves to know!" Sam broke in. Edward snarled in his direction. I agreed in my head. I deserved to know.

"Stay out of this!" He hissed at the pack. Sam stood taller and Carlisle hissed at Edward to stay calm.

The yelling and hissing made me more dizzy and I felt even weaker. I groaned in a desperate attempt to get someone's attention and I managed to get everyone's. Carlisle must have understood the nausea in my eyes. In record time he flew from one end of the room to the other and pulled a trash bin up to me just as I emptied my stomach into the can. Edward rushed over to my bed side and Carlisle handed me a cold towel to wipe my face. I smiled thankfully at him as Edward put his cold hand on my face releasing the tension. I smiled genuinely at Edward. I felt much better after all. He noticed and smiled more honestly than he had since we had been at the hospital.

"C-Carlisle?" Sam called, "Should we, uh, leave?" He asked slightly nauseated himself. I felt the blush crawl into my face.

"No, Sam, I'm sure she will be fine. That's just the medication I gave her earlier for the pain; the nausea is the only side effect. Bella, are you feeling better?" He asked as he turned towards me after writing something down on my chart.

"Much..." I croaked. Carlisle laughed at the dry voice and handed me a cup of ice water from my bedside table. I smiled gratefully and took a sip of the water. "Thanks." I said with more voice and he smiled. "Bella, would you be okay to talk to Sam now, or would you rather wait a while?" He asked fatherly. Edward still looked tense.

"Now is fine..." I said honestly. I knew he would just be asking about Jacob and what he had done to me. Why would Edward be protecting me from something so blatant? I shook my head to relieve the questions. Questions are what make me dizzy. Carlisle nodded and turned his attention to Edward.

"Edward, Bella has to be told this and Sam should be the one to tell her." Carlisle said calmly, however it was much more stern than when he addressed me. "You and I need to go discuss some matters in my office anyway, and we can leave Sam and Bella to talk about these matters that needed to be taken care of." My head still ached with questions that wouldn't go away. I looked up to Edward hoping he would explain something. He broke his gaze away from mine and turned to Carlisle pleadingly.

"Carlisle, I will gladly leave Bella," My breathing hitched and my stomach dropped not knowing if he was finished with that sentence. He couldn't leave. He promised. It felt as if my heart had stopped beating, waiting to see what he would say next. He looked at me and his eyes widened when he realized what he had said, "I will gladly leave after I have discussed all of this with her. I need to be the one that tells her this, Carlisle..." He looked away from me reluctantly to look at him, "Please..." He begged. Carlisle looked to Sam, who nodded. Carlisle stepped back into the larger portion of the room as did Sam. The rest of the pack remained behind Sam and Carlisle.

As my gaze focused on Sam, Edward turned his body and leaned over me slightly to attract my eyes to him. I smiled weakly as his solid topaz eyes stared at me seriously, yet lovingly. As much as I hated how serious this was, I needed to know what was going on. What was Edward keeping from me that had everyone so tense that they were willing to fight so seriously about?

"Bella-" Edward began, pulling me out of my thoughts, "Something happened that you need to be aware of..." He stated. I felt that uneasy feeling in my stomach again. Was there something I didn't know in this? What hadn't he told me? My stomach did the same flip it had done earlier. I took a large gulp of water trying to calm it down. I wanted to find out what was going on. I stared at Edward waiting for him to continue. Edward placed his hand on the one free from the water and gripped it tightly.

"Bella, when Emmett left to pick the pack up from the airport, Jasper took over his position in watching the place that we were storing Jacob..." My stomach dropped again; _were storing_ past tense. "Well, Jacob took advantage of the situation by playing with Jasper's abilities. And from what Carlisle has informed me, he used his situation to, well, to attack him..." My breathing stopped. Even though Edward's voice had dropped to a whisper at the last piece of information, he might as well have screamed it.

"Where is he?" I asked breathlessly.

"Where is who?" Edward asked cautiously.

"Jasper!" I screamed. Why did he need to ask? Tears slipped down my face. I knew he was lying somewhere in pain because of me.

"He's at home, Bella. Alice and Esme are with him. Emmett and Rose are at home, too. He's better now. He's healing..." He said too slowly. My stomach flipped again.

"Who's guarding him?!" I shouted for answers.

"Bella, you need to calm down..." Carlisle pushed as he stepped forward from the dark corner of the room.

"WHO IS GUARDING JACOB?" I screamed louder.

"H-He got away, Bella... He attacked Jasper until he was almost dead and he got away..." Edward's voice was no longer that smooth velvety voice. It was full of worry and concern, but for who?

"Bella, you need to calm down." Carlisle repeated again as he neared the side of my bed slowly.

"H-he's still out there?" I asked quietly as I looked around the room to each face. They all nodded. "H-he's out there and he's waiting for me..." I confirmed. I heard someone promising that I was safe. The dread and fear filled me. I couldn't stay here.

"Bella..." Edward said warningly as I struggled to sit up. I pushed myself up, trying to ignore the pain. I reached for the IV in my arm, refusing to wrestle with the blanket again. I found the needle and before anyone knew what I was doing I ripped it out of my arm. There was no pain. I struggled to kick my legs off the bed before Carlisle's hands grabbed my shoulders to constrain me. I screamed out for them to let me go.

"I have to go! I need to get out of here!" I was screaming and sobbing and my body was shaking out of fear.

"Bella, please, stop this! You are safe here!" Edward's voice was pleading, but he didn't understand. Carlisle made no effort to put me back into a lying position. If he thought I would just lay down, he was wrong.

"Edward, please!" My voice was full of panic and I still struggled hopelessly against Carlisle's hands.

"Bella, lie down!" Carlisle instructed over my sobs. I shook my head as he finally began to push me down into a laying position. I could feel the pain bubbling inside of me. My body convulsed with pain and fear. I heard voices around me screaming and growling and sobbing.

All I understood was that the reason I was in so much pain, the reason I hadn't been able to breathe without looking over my shoulder, was loose again. He was out there and he was waiting to kill me or do this to me again. I had lived through two sadistic vampires, a newborn army, but I could not relive what _he_ had done to me...

All I could do was sob and scream as the pain shrank from my arms and legs and stomach and head to my chest. My lungs were seizing. I could feel them shrinking. My throat was dry and chest was tight. I stretched my arms out looking for Edward.

"Edward..." I gasped out. The pain was too much this time. It wasn't like before. Now it's different. I'm not wishing for the end. I'm waiting. I felt Edward's cold hand on my face as he leaned closer to me and his face was inches from mine.

"Bella, please breathe. Bella don't do this..." His voice was so broken. His body shook with sobs. I just wanted the pain to stop. The tears running down my face only slowed when Edward's hands intercepted them wiping them away, clearing the way for more.

"Edward...I-I'm sorry... It hurts...I'm so sorry..." I whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine trying to keep me coherent. His body shook with sobs as he climbed onto the bed as he shook my body. I could feel myself slipping away.

"Bella...Please..." He begged.

"Edward...I-I...I love...I love you..." I whispered as I opened my heavy eyes. I reached out and touched my hand to his face. I brushed my hand against his cheek as the beeping on my monitor changed patterns erratically; Too Fast, Too Slow.

"Bella..." He grabbed my hand and pulled it from his face. "Don't say it like that, alright? Don't say it like that. You're okay. You just need to calm down. Please, Bella, calm down. You have to calm down." His voice repeated through my head. He was gasping and I could hear the panic in his voice as Carlisle shouted instructions at him that I'm sure he was ignoring.

"Tell me you love me..."I pleaded with him. My voice was weak. He shook his head. "Please..."

"Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, I love you. I love you now and I will love you for the end of time." His voice broke into a sob as it cracked. "I love you so much..." He whispered with his face pressed against mine as he kissed me in a desperate attempt to persuade me to stay awake.

"Tell Jasper I'm sorry...Tell everyone I'm sor-" I gasped in a choked whisper.

I took the deepest breath I could manage as I closed my eyes. They were too heavy to open again. I heard Edward shouting in the distance; he sounded so far away. It all sounded so far away. I knew he wouldn't try and save me. He would be too afraid. I loved him and he loved me. That's all that mattered. Who cared if I didn't last forever? As long as I died loving him. I smiled again at the sight of his beautiful, angelic face in my mind as I drifted off to a place with less pain. The pain slipped away and the voices dulled. It was finally over...  


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_Don't kill me!_  
_Is she dead? Will Edward change her? Will Carlisle? Will Sam try to stop them from changing her? _  
_Mwhahahaha. Just some questions to ask yourself. :P_  
_I truly am EVIL._  
_More reviewsNext Chapter sooner!_


	37. I Could Hear A Symphony

_A Special Thanks to everyone that reviewed and has been waiting on this chapter for two (three?) days! This chapter was a bit difficult to write as well.._

_You guys are amazing with the reviews and your reactions make me cry from laughing so hard. It's been an interesting, to say the least, few days at my house and I felt loved when I saw all the reviews. You guys make me smile._

_Okay, so, to address the issue of Edward being out of character:  
Yes, I understand, it is not like Edward to sob in a situation like this, but think about it. No matter how levelheaded you are, or think you are, when someone you love is dying and you both know it, it's going to be quite difficult to keep any composure you may have. I know personally. / If you don't believe me, just wait... Live and Learn, I guess..._

_Anyway, this is EPOV of her having her panic attack and...well... for lack of a better word, dying... You'll see..._

_warning: this chapter contains no cliffie what-so-ever... It does, however, last quite a long time. It is DOUBLE the size of my recent chapters... Yeah... It's long..._

_No Cliffie, though... don't you love me?_

This chapter was edited and changed as of 6/4!! I like it better!!

_**...Disclaimer remains the same...**  
_

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"I will gladly leave after I have discussed all of this with her. I need to be the one that tells her this, Carlisle..." I turned my gaze from Bella and stared at Carlisle. I needed to be here when she was told, and even more, I needed to be the one to tell her. "Please..." I reduced to begging as I continued to watch Carlisle. Carlisle turned to Sam and Sam shrugged in defeat. Carlisle turned back to me.

'_Be very gentle with the news, Edward. She can't become overwhelmed right now, she's fragile enough as it is..._' He lectured me in his mind. I nodded as I turned my gaze back to Bella.

"Bella something happened that you need to be aware of..." I began. How do you tell the person you love that the animal that has hurt her so much is loose, again? I could almost hear her thoughts racing. Almost. "Bella, when Emmett left to pick the pack up from the airport, Jasper took over his position in watching the place that we were storing Jacob..." Her eyes widened. She didn't fail to miss the past tense as she inhaled quickly, almost choking on the fast air.

"Well, Jacob took advantage of the situation and from what Carlisle has informed me, he used his situation to, well, to attack Jasper..." My voice fell to a whisper. This news wasn't something I wanted her to know. Her breathing stopped and her heart couldn't pick a rhythm. This was exactly what I was afraid of.

"Where is he?" She asked almost inaudibly.

"Where is who?" I questioned even thought I knew the answer. I needed to draw out the conversation. Relaxing her was my one and only objective right now.

_Keep her calm, Edward..._ Carlisle still instructed from his place beside Sam.

"Jasper!" She shuddered as she shouted his name. Tears fell down her face as she began to cry softly. I caught myself before I cursed under my breath. Each exhale released a bit more of her composure.

"He's at home, Bella. Alice and Esme are with him. Emmett and Rose are at home, too..." I said slowly; carefully.

"Who's guarding him?!" Her voice was much too loud to be healthy and her heart was racing. Tears still poured down her face.

"Bella, you need to calm down..." Carlisle pushed, stepping forward from the dark corner of the room, nearing her bedside slowly as not to frighten her even more.

"WHO IS GUARDING JACOB?" She screamed louder and her heart sped to a dangerous rate.

"H-He got away, Bella... He attacked Jasper until he was almost dead and he got away..." I said cautiously. I had to calm her down, but even I was having a difficult time remaining tranquil in a situation like this.

"Bella, you need to calm down." Carlisle repeated again as he reached the side of her bed slowly and carefully.

"H-he's still out there?" She asked in a hysteric whisper as she stared at Sam. Sam dropped his head and nodded. A cry caught in her throat as she choked slightly. "H-he's out there and he's waiting for me..." She whispered as she took a shallow breath that intertwined with a sob. Sam retreated further into the back of the room.

"Bella, I promise, you're safe. This is the safest place you can be right now. You are perfectly safe." Carlisle's voice repeated.

_She's putting too much pressure on her heart and lungs. If she doesn't relax soon she will go into immediate cardiac arrest and or respiratory arrest. Her heart is already weak from the attack, she won't be able to handle any common relaxers. Her heart will seize from the change. I will continue looking for something to calm her down slowly, but you need to calm her down. Now. _

I nodded as Carlisle listed drugs in his head._ Nembutal. Thiopental. Midazolam. _He remained by the cabinet with all of the medicines, waiting for an epiphany.

"Bella..." I tried scolding her. She shook her head and sat up too fast as she moaned from the setting of her bones. She started looking all over the room and she started crossing her arms and before anyone knew what was happening she grabbed the needle in her arm and ripped it out of her skin causing blood to slowly ooze down her arm. I hardly noticed as Carlisle ran forward and grabbed Bella's shoulder to keep her in place.

"I have to go! I need to get out of here!" She was screaming louder and shaking and nothing anyone said registered to her. I reached out to her and pulled her closer to me and restrained her from getting off the bed as Carlisle placed another IV into her wrist rather than her arm.

"Bella, please, stop this! You are safe here!" I whispered to her as she struggled against my arms. She was kicking and screaming and sobbing.

"Edward, please!" She yelled. Carlisle instructed me to push her into a laying position so he could try to calm her down. She struggled against me as Carlisle and I managed to get her to lie down. Her body began to convulse slightly as she sobbed. The pain was reaching her again. Her heart was beating too fast as Carlisle ran to the cabinet and grabbed something meant to make a patient relax. Her breathing was too fast and Carlisle almost shouted for her to calm down. She was still shaking and struggling against me as she fought the tremors shaking her body. She reached her arms out in front of her and grabbed onto my clean shirt Alice had brought me when she visited.

"Edward..." She gasped. I put my hands on her face and whispered for her to calm down as she sobbed. Her body continued to shake out of her sobs and I leaned my face onto hers. Carlisle searched for any type of medicine that wouldn't cause her heart to seize. He searched through the drawers almost frantically. I placed my forehead on hers and made her look at me.

I fought my body as it tried to shake. I fought the sobs trying to break out of me. I fought all of the thoughts, mine and the others around me, of what was happening. I needed to concentrate on getting Bella to relax."Bella, please breathe. Bella don't do this..." I lost the fight as a few sobs made their way out of my mouth. I knew I should be helping Carlisle. I should do something, but with the love of my life an inch away from death, I couldn't think clearly.

"Edward...I-I'm sorry... It hurts...I'm so sorry..." She whispered almost noiselessly. Her eyes fluttered closed slowly. I brought my hands to her face.

"Bella...Please..." I begged. I needed her to be okay. I wasn't ready to change her; not like this, not now.

"Edward...I-I...I love you..." She murmured. She reached out and touched her warm hand to my face.

"Bella..." I grabbed her hand from my face and held it tightly. "Don't say it like that, alright? Don't say it like that. You're okay. You just need to calm down. Please, Bella, calm down. You have to calm down." I tried desperately to relax her as Carlisle shouted at me from the corner of the room.

"Edward, try to get her calm. If we can get her to calm down and get her heart rate down we will be able to treat her much more easily. Please!. Calm her down! Keep her conscious, Edward!" He instructed. I nodded as I kept her hand in mine and I kept my face inches from hers.

"Tell me you love me..." She begged me. I shook my head, I knew she was waiting for me to say it. If I said it, she would stop fighting to stay conscious. "Please..." She whispered. Her pleading voice broke my non-beating heart.

"Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, I love you. I love you now and I will love you for the end of time." My normally smooth voice cracked as I realized that her eyes were fighting to stay open and she was gasping for air. "I love you so much..." I pressed my lips to hers in a deep kiss, doing whatever it would take to keep her awake. I pulled away and she smiled at me.

"Tell Jasper I'm sorry...Tell everyone that I'm sor-" She choked and took a shallow breath and closed her eyes.

"NO!" I screamed too loudly. i felt the walls shake around me. I cursed under my breath as the beeping filled the room as a warning to get help. Carlisle ran over threw off her blanket and pulled off the chord attached to the heart monitor as I held her limp body. The beeping stopped and turned into a monotone note before he turned off the machine.

"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted. I looked to him with broken eyes. "Edward, listen to me, Bella is going into Respiratory Arrest. If we don't do something now she will flat-line. Edward, she is about to die! You have to change her now!" He was shouting these instructions at me and I was having a hard time listening. I knew I needed to change her, but she couldn't die.

"Carlisle, I-I can't!" I shouted back shakily.

"Edward, if you don't I will! She isn't breathing! Change her now." He almost roared. "I'll take care of the nurses. Change her!" He hissed as he ran to the door as nurses fought to get into the room. He turned around and stared at me fiercely as he ushered Sam and the pack out of the room. He closed the door behind him as he explained that Bella had already flat-lined and that he called time of death. He convinced them I needed alone time. His voice was truly filled with sorrow as he explained what happened. The poor nurses couldn't deny him and the males didn't want to argue with him. I couldn't focus on his words.

As I faced her limp body, she was breathing too shallow for any human to be able to survive and her heart was much too slow. I stared at her paling body and I sat her down on the bed and maneuvered it so the bed was lying flat rather than a sitting position. I pushed down the guard rails giving me room to lean over her body.

"Bella," I whispered, "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me..." I leaned over her neck and whispered unheard apologies against her throat. The blood pulsing slowly under the thin layer of skin, taunting me, calling to my senses. Venom filled my mouth. I could hear the blood slowly pushing through the vein_. _I could hear her heart failing. I kissed the crease of her neck lightly before I took an unnecessary breath. I closed my eyes and bit down into her throat letting my instincts control me. Her body convulsed out of pain, even if it wasn't conscious. The sweet blood was different than even I imagined. It was sweeter, richer, better. I let the blood pulse through my mouth, each beat of her heart sent a newer, sweeter surge of blood.

_"I know you wouldn't hurt me." _My Bella's sweet voice filled head; echoing through it, awaking the bit of human sense I had left. The blood pulsed through my mouth again as I tried desperately to think clearly; the intoxicating scent of her blood making it more difficult than ever. _"I love you..." _Her voice was sweeter, more afraid, more desperate. The monster had taken over, but I fought it harder than ever.

I pulled myself away from her bleeding, gushing throat and closed my eyes, trying to focus on what Carlisle and I had discussed only days earlier. I could hear her heart still weakly pulsing. I fought harder, more determined, to remember what we had discussed. The blood oozed down her neck onto the sheets. My face twisted in concentration, working to think past the blood. I was to bite her five times; her neck, each wrist, and each ankle.

I repeated it again. _Her neck, Each Wrist, Each Ankle. _  
And again. _Each Wrist, Each Ankle. _

I moved to her arms. I bit down on her unharmed wrist and the blood gushed through my mouth. Not as fresh as the pulse in her neck, but it was almost as if it was aged; her blood was fine wine. Even with age it's perfection. I pictured her innocent face, twisted in fear, twisted in pain. I pulled her wrist from my teeth reluctantly. I dropped her wrist and grabbed the other wrist with the cast on it. I tore off the cast too easily and bit into the broken wrist as her body's reaction lessened each time.

The reaction to her blood hardly weakened, but I fought. I fought harder. I fought for Bella. I bit each ankle and after pulling away easier and less reluctantly than before. I looked up to the mirror hanging on the other side of the room, reflecting the monster that fled from within me. The red eyes of the person, the demon, before me was darker than even I expected. Alice's vision had nothing on this. The scarlet colors sparkled through, almost glowing like fire. I almost put a shame to the cold, dead eyes of Victoria. The monster within had won. The monster within had killed Bella.

I looked back to the mirror. The navy shirt Alice had brought me was soiled with the blood I had devoured so easily.A deep crimson flowed out of my lips. My mouth, still positioned in a menacing snarl, displayed teeth only a true beast would display proudly. Blood seeped down my chin, dripping slowly as if this was a cheap Halloween special. Blood still sat in my mouth.

I roared out of shame, shaking the walls around me. I wiped my bloody face on the designer shirt before ripping off the sleeves; ripping off every reminder of what I had done. I shredded the shirt completely off, realizing the shirt would never be clean enough; I would never be clean enough. I was left in a white t-shirt, tainted pink and designer jeans that had subtle blood stains embedded in the fibers.

I threw the shirt, the sleeves and the bloody sheet in the same pile, waiting until the moment I could burn it all. I turned my gaze towards the mirror again. The white shirt, stained with my Bella's blood. The blood that I willingly drank and lost all control to. I turned away from the mirror that revealed who I really was and watched Bella's now lifeless body. I had killed her; what I was had killed her.

I knew I had to do it. She will wake up and hate me, I had to go. I had to leave, and I had to leave now. I ran at a furious pace to the door. I reached for the taunting metal knob. As my outstretched hand reached the door, I heard her.

In that moment, in that one sound, I knew I couldn't leave. I ran distressedly to her side. I touched the back of my hand, still marked with a stain of her scarlet blood, to her paling face. I crouched down low enough so I could lay my head down next to hers as I took in the scent of her and not the scent of her blood, the scent of her. Her body convulsed ever so slightly in pain every few moments.

I moved my face next to her ear and whispered, "Bella, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Bella..." The room remained silent. I hadn't expected a response, but this was torture. I let a small sigh, the tiniest of sobs escape my anxiety filled lungs. Her face was twisted in pain.

"Edward..." She gasped. Her voice was nearly inaudible, despite the vampire hearing. Her eyes still locked closed. "I love you..." She whispered ever so quietly. I felt a small, sad smile creep onto my face. Although if I was human the smile would be littered with tears, it was a smile non-the-less.

"Shh...Bella, I love you so much..." I whispered quietly against her ear as I pressed my nose into her hair, embracing the scent.

"Edw-" She began, but didn't finish my name. My heart, or whatever it is I had, dropped. "It hurts, Edward..." She managed to gasp out. "The fire hurts, my chest hurts, my wrist hurts...everything hurts..." She moaned quietly, noiselessly.

"I know, Bella, I know..." I whispered as I cleared hair from her face.

"Don't leave me..." She choked out.

"Never." I confirmed simply. That was certain. I wouldn't leave her. Not like this. Not until she wanted me to go because of what I have done, because of what I am. Her face contorted into a painful smile as I ran my cold hand down her cheek as she released the tension and let her body drift away into the depths of unconsciousness where the flames awaited her.

I pulled my head away and looked at her, once again, lifeless body. I stood up furious. I had done this to her. I stood up and paced enraged between the bed and the wall as questions raced through my mind.

_Will she hate me for changing her?  
Did she even want to be saved?  
Will she regret her decision of eternity?  
Will she even remember me when she wakes up?  
Will she want to?  
What if her heart fails before the venom reaches her heart? The transformation won't be complete, I would have put her through much pain for nothing.  
What if I bit her wrong?  
What if I drank too much of her blood?  
What if I turned her incorrectly? _

I was dizzy from the questions. I almost smiled to myself. _Only Bella could make a vampire dizzy._

My mind flashed with Carlisle's memories of changing me and my siblings. I had done it just as he had. I shook my head trying to think clearly as I sat on the edge of her bed and placed my head in my hands. The door opened too quietly to be a nosy or suspicious nurse. I heard Carlisle stepping to my side and he placed his hand on my shoulder in a fatherly manner.

"I failed..." I said angrily into my hands. "In Alice's vision of her being changed her reaction was instant, Bella was coherent for much longer than this." If Bella died today, I would have no choice but to leave immediately for a surprise visit to the Volterra.

"Edward, you bit her while she was already dying. She was unconscious. In Alice's vision you planned on changing her while she was awake and aware of what happened. Obviously she will not respond as easily. The venom is working, Edward. Just wait, this could take days. I know in her vision Bella was changed in a day or so, but she has such extensive injuries and she was so close to dying. I'm afraid if that has anything to do with it, it will be much longer than a day." He rationalized as he stood up.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry." I muttered and he turned to face me.

"Sorry? May I ask what for?" He asked confused as I looked to him as a child would a father.

"I-I reacted so poorly. The past few hours, I've been so out of focus. I knew how to handle panic attacks. I know how to react in situations like that. I have two degrees in Medicine for God's Sake!" I said furiously as I shook my head. "I know I had to change her. I just didn't want to do it like that. I got scared and I apologize. I should have helped before she even got in such bad shape. I should have done something..." I said as I stood up and began to pace.

"Edward, you reacted like any husband would have. You reacted just as I, or anyone else in this family, would have. You love her and watching her die is not an easy task and feeling like you are the reason they are dying is much harder than any one will underhand. More than anyone, I know that changing the people you care about is a hard task, and being thrown into it like you were, it's almost impossible to think clearly." He sighed as he walked over to me and stopped my pacing and forced me to look up from the spot on the floor I was so intensely focusing on.

He continued, "I know you aren't proud or happy about changing her, but as your father, I am proud of you. You saved her, even if you refuse to believe it." He urged. I stared at him not knowing what to say.

"Thank you, Carlisle." I finally said in a hushed tone. It was quiet for a moment before I retreated to lean against a wall for support.

"Where are Sam and the pack?" I asked curiously. As little as I cared, I needed something to take my mind off of watching Bella die.

"They went to eat. They haven't eaten since the flight so they decided to walk a local restaurant around the corner. They told me they would be getting a hotel for the next few nights until Bella is better, for a lack of a better word." He confirmed. I nodded.

"What are we going to do about the hospital? She won't be able to just walk out of here." I asked. I needed to keep asking questions.

"After I sign the death certificate, I will explain that we plan on having her cremated and as her husband, you asked that I be the one to cremate her, for personal reasons. I will take Bella's body into the crematorium, and it will be quite easy to smuggle her back out." He explained thoroughly. I looked at him curiously.

"Won't you need someone to sign as a mortician? They can't just take your word for it..." I said curiously. He chuckled lightly.

"You forget Alice's and Jasper's mastery of hacking and identity theft has many uses. They have taken care of it already. Mary Alice Hale Cullen is now Mary Patricia Smith. She works for the hospital on an irregular basis, and will be quitting tomorrow for family reasons that are too personal to discuss." A slight smile played on his lips. As a vampire, making up stories becomes a common past time; one I'm positive my family enjoyed too much.

"That was very well planned out..." I said, letting the skepticism in my voice remain blatant.

"Yes, well, after quite a few scares with Bella the past few months, I finally decided that it was time to come up with a plan in case this happened." He clarified. I just nodded.

"Edward, I will need to take her to the crematorium before the venom gives her a chance to start reacting physically. For right now, she is almost paralyzed due to the venom in her veins and she will convulse and seize randomly, but for a few hours she should remain paralyzed, and it will be easier now to take her body down. I must go fill out the forms immediately and Alice promised to call and give us a definite time frame once she got her vision back from the pack." He was so sure. He had taken care of everything and I felt almost helpless.

"Alright..." I muttered. What else was there to say? He nodded his head and stood up and walked over to Bella's limp body before grabbing the same washrag she had against her forehead to wipe the blood from her neck and her arms and her ankles. I sank into the wall further, waiting for him to leave. He looked up to me and nodded a goodbye. I nodded back and he left quickly to finish her papers.

I walked slowly and cautiously and sat down on Bella's bed again before laying down next to her and breathing in her scent. I listened to her heart beat slowly. The change in rhythm was ever so subtle, but it was there. It was slowing with each beat. I kissed her soft face and embraced the warmth still left in her body as her breathing was so soft I could hardly hear it. I closed my eyes and listened closer.

In Each Breath, In each Beat, I could Hear A Symphony...

* * *

_So! What'd you think about the new changes?  
If you read it before, you should enjoy it more  
If you are reading it for the first time, be thankful. I heard it sucked! P (Just Kidding)_

_Next Chapter Bella wakes up as a vampire.  
I'm excited to finish it. You should be excited to read it._

_Review Review Review!_


	38. All of This Was On Me

_I. Am. So. Sorry._

_This post is waaaay overdue. It's been a week!  
I feel horrible!  
I had MAJOR writers block, and my beta was in school!  
Just for my awfulness, I'm going to post two chapters tonight.  
BUT! Please don't kill me, neither of them will have Bella as a vamp yet._

_  
I have written that and my Beat is, well, beta-ing, it._

_It should be up tomorrow or Thursday at the latest!_

_Thanks for being so wonderful._

_I don't deserve your reviews! melodramatic_

_Read and Review!_

_WAIT! DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY REWRITE OF THE LAST CHAPTER! I COMPLETELY CHANGED IT ON 6/7!!  
Personally, I believe it's a LOT better.  
Tell me what you think!_

_One more update: I recently found out, I'm NOT Stephenie Meyer. Go figure._

* * *

There are an infinite amount of reasons reasons why I never bet against Alice, and today was one of those reasons. In a matter of a few hours, Bella's "dead" body was pronounced dead, examined, certified, and cremated. In reality, Alice and Carlisle took care of all the paperwork while Emmett and I transfered her through the window and into the waiting jeep, too fast for anyone to see.

A few hours later and Bella's lifeless body was lying limp in our now useless for both of us bed. Every few moments her body would convulse slightly in pain sending a shiver of fear down my spine. Surely she would hate me for this.

It had been around ten hours since Bella "died" and according to Alice, we had close forty hours left. I sighed as I rested against her shoulder, not willing to leave her side. The door to my room sat ajar, inviting anyone who wanted to see Bella in. It was too much trouble to monitor everyone's thoughts of who wanted to see her and who wanted to be left alone. Everyone had come in and told me that they were glad I changed her, each in their own way. Emmett gave me a painful high five after a howl of excitement about his new little sister. Jasper pumped encouragement and contempt into the room. Alice fluttered around the room happily telling me how excited she was about Bella's change. Rosalie told me she was glad she wasn't dead Although her thoughts still hinted resentment for Bella's decision, yet her thoughts had considerably softened since the whole thing happened.

Carlisle came in every few hours trying to see if he could give her morphine to dull the pain, but it didn't seem to help. His thoughts apologized profusely. I only nodded in response to his apologies. It wasn't his fault that the morphine didn't help. The venom was just too dominant for any painkiller to dull.

Esme still sat peacefully and elegantly on the black leather couch next to the brand new window, staring into a space on the wall beside me, looking to a space unknown.

_He shouldn't have to go through this. He doesn't deserve it. Neither of them deserve this. This never should have happened to her. Bella would be one of us by now and no one would need time to heal. Poor Edward, he won't be the same after this, not until he decides to open this up to Bella. He wanted so badly to have changed on his accord instead of God's. They both have been through so much already, they don't deserve this._

I felt intrusive on her internal speech about how much more I deserve. I felt so intrusive on her thoughts, I didn't want to hear what she was saying, but her thoughts were the only noise I could hear besides Bella's shallow breathing and faint heartbeat.

I fought not to look in her direction and explain to her how much I deserved to be hated by Bella; how much I deserved all this, when Bella did not at all. Bella could never deserve. I restrained myself from telling her how close I was to ending Bella's life. It would have been so simple.

I felt too meddlesome, I couldn't bring myself to tell her any of this. Instead I closed my eyes and focused on trying to keep my breath in perfect sync with Bella's. This was a task due to the erratic patterns in her gasps of air. Her heart rate had slowed dramatically than it would be at any normal time. Her body convulsed randomly as I held her closer to me on the bed; every now and then she would make the smallest noise; a groan, a small shout in pain. Each convulse, each noise, made me flinch and made me want to scream out in anger, in loathing, directed only at myself.

--

It had been close to 30 some odd hours after I had bitten Bella. The door still sat ajar and Esme no longer sat on the couch. Bella's shoulders that once were caved in were slowly sculpting into a normal shoulder. Her ribs were no longer sticking out in places they shouldn't. With each healing bone, her body convulsed more and the more she screamed.

The front door slammed open as Alice screamed at Jasper to keep up. Jasper groaned.

In a blur, Alice rushed in with Jasper following her reluctantly. Alice carried about three small bags into the closet without even acknowledging that I was in the room. Jasper ran in much slower, carrying close to twenty very large bags and many shoe boxes conveniently in Bella's size. He looked at me apologetically before following her into the closet and nearly dropping all the boxes when she instructed him to hold her bags as well.

She threw clothes out the closet door rapidly, leaving a large pile of Bella's clothes and a few of my shirts on the floor. Refusing to leave Bella even for a moment, and refusing to cause her unconscious to stir, I stared angrily at Alice, hoping eventually she would look. I listened for her thoughts for a clue as to what she was doing, but all I could hear was her singing some incestuous new top twenty country song. She was blocking me, and I didn't care to find out what it was.

Jasper's thoughts only revolved around getting even with Emmett on their last wrestling match a few hours ago. I saw the replay in my mind. Rosalie was sitting on the couch cheering Emmett on and Jasper had Emmett on the floor in a reverse DDT. Just before the three seconds would have been up, Alice grabbed Jasper from above Emmett and pulled him onto his feet instructing him on where they are going to shop, resulting in Emmett celebrating his recent win by default. In his memory I heard him moaning as Alice literally dragged him from the house. My heart went out to my brother. I knew all too well how much trouble Emmett was when he was celebrating a victory. Surprisingly enough, Emmet hadn't broken anything...yet.

Close to an hour later, Alice stepped out of my closet, releasing a bag-free Jasper, who ran downstairs at a surprising speed to find Emmett and attack.

I looked into the closet to see the new color coordinated wardrobe that Bella and I both now possessed. Alice stood by the closet door, blatantly proud of herself. From the look of the pile on the floor, not a single item of Bella's remained in that closet. I was surprised Bella was still clothed in her own clothes.

Alice ran and stopped at the foot of the bed. Her smile stretching from ear to ear.

"She's going to be so pretty, you know..." She said sweetly, still singing in her mind. I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew she was trying to lighten the mood for both myself and her, but I needed time to mourn.

"She was perfect before..." I whispered, kissing Bella on the cheek.

"It's not much longer now... Less than a day, actually..." Her cheery voice sounded more strained than a few seconds before. She remained quiet before sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the opposite direction from which she would see me.

"Did you see it?" I asked in a whisper, breaking the silence. She whipped her head around.

"The wolves left the hospital the moment they left the room..." She said quietly back. That was a yes. I hung my head, not wanting to look at her face.

"Edward, stop moping! You stopped! You did! You saved her life in a sense, Edward! She wanted it! I know she did! Stop this insanity!" She shouted harshly. I shook my head. In moments the room filled with an angry looking Jasper. Alice looked up at him innocently giggling.

"Will...you...stop with the emotions!" Jasper nearly hissed. "It's hard enough fight Emmett right now! I'm still sore! I don't need your emotions making me an even worse fighter than I am as a cripple! Sad, anger, wallowing, anxiety, positivity, negativity, depression, contempt; stop it already! I already lost to Emmett TWICE in the past hour!" He was nearly shouting.

"Watch it, Jasper..." I snarled at him as his voice reached a level I didn't want around Bella. He groaned in frustration as he ran out of the room to find Emmett again. The moment he exited the room, Alice fell onto the bed, rolling in giggles.

"He..." More giggles... "He's suffering a bit from your anger!" She finally giggled out before her face went blank. I saw what she saw; Jasper and Emmett wrestling, the clock read a few hours from now, and then absolute nothingness. She sighed.

"Wolves..." She mumbled pathetically before leaving the room, going to tell Jasper that she can't tell him if he wins or not. I sighed, too, but not for my brothers or for the wolves coming, but because I knew that no matter what anyone said this was still on me; all of this was on me.


	39. The Last Lullaby

_You guys are still the best!_

_second chapter, just like I promised!  
Read. Review.  
Tell me what you think!!_

* * *

It had been nearly forty hours from now, and according to Alice's most recent non-wolf vision, The venom would reach Bella's heart in close to five hours. Bella's body became more and more active. She would jerk in pain nearly every ten minutes. The convulsions were increasing in time, a little less time between each one. The fire was growing hotter, the flames were higher. I remember too well that feeling of sheer agony, something I had wished for Bella never to feel.

The clock read a few minutes before the wolves were set to arrive. The door opened downstairs and the family room that contained everyone in my family watching Emmett and Jasper grew quiet. Carlisle welcomed Sam and explained I was upstairs. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Um, hello...?" Sam said awkwardly, knocking on the wooden frame before walking slowly into the room.

"Hello, Sam." I greeted quietly, opening my closed eyes. He stood as awkwardly as his voice sounded.

_I can't believe I'm about to do this. I can't believe I'm going to do this, after all they have been through, all of them. _I stiffened. What was he doing?

"I wanted to talk to you about..." His voice trailed off, pondering how to tell me I broke the treaty. "Well, about what happened; about the treaty." The coward was afraid to threaten me or to warn me about what his pack will do to my family. He stared at Bella's lifeless body, and if on cue, her body twitched severely.

"What about it, Sam? Are you going to kill me now? Kill Bella?" I hissed. "I did what I had to do." I snarled at him before placing Bella on the bed, out of my arms. I sat up almost menacingly. He backed up to the door frame again, stopping when his back hit it. He straightened his back, trying to stand more fiercely, but not menacingly.

"Actually," He said sternly, trying to get the authority back in his voice slightly. "I wanted to say that, well," _I can't believe I'm going to say this. _"I wanted to tell you that for all that she has been through, and all that my pack has put her through, and in the given situation, what you did was the right thing to do. Bella's change, as much as I despise to say it, was the right thing to do." He said almost angrily. My angry front was broken. I leaned forward as I looked at him confused.

"Sam, I-I..." I honestly didn't know what to say.

"I said what I came to say." He said shortly before turning on his heel and walking out the door. "Damn, leech..." he muttered under his breath. I was startled, Sam's calm facade had never wavered before, at least not in front of me.

"Sam!" I hissed, but not angrily. He turned sharply to face me.

"Yes?" He said heatedly.

"Thank you..." I whispered quietly. His sharp face lessened. He nodded and his face broke into a small smile as he turned to walk out. A few moments later the door downstairs closed loudly.

The anger in my stomach was much lighter. The fear and the disgust almost loosened inside me. I heard Jasper moan. I shouted an apology as Emmett took advantage of his moment of weakness; Rose cheered and Alice groaned.

Bella's body twitched again and moaned louder and more severely. I picked her back up off the bed and into my lap as I pressed her still warm body against my cold one, hoping to ease the pain. Her tense body relaxed as I heard her moan. It was a whisper, it was so soft and barely audible. I strained to hear her moaning my name; begging me to make it stop. I whispered more apologies into her neck and she quieted slightly and her body stopped convulsing as she went back to laying still and stiff. I sighed as I kept her pinned to my chest, hoping that it somewhat helped the pain. I prayed that it did.

--

It's been close to forty-five hours since I bit Bella; Forty-Five hours since she's been almost dead. Each second brings her closer to when the venom is supposed to reach her heart. I keep her pinned against me, knowing that when the venom takes full control her body will be in so much pain that she would be screaming, at least according to Alice's vision.

I looked at her lifeless body. The bones had slowly been pushed into the correct spot and it was if I saw her body heal before me. Each cut, each bone, each fracture healed itself before my eyes. I knew that's why this took so long. The damage that mutt did is the reason this change took fifty hours instead of twenty like it would have. I fought the tremor of anger that fought it's way through my body. Alice screamed a triumphant shout. Jasper had used my anger to finally beat Emmett.

Suddenly I heard the wrestling downstairs stop. The cheering and moaning stopped from opposing forces stopped. I became uneasy. Alice had whispered something I hadn't caught. I shifted slightly, moving Bella with me. I still kept her close to me. I moved to try and hear downstairs better when it happened.

Bella's body convulsed more than it ever had. She jerked out of my arms and screamed the loudest, most horrifying scream I had ever heard. More terrifying than any of us had uttered during our transformations. I shuddered from it and set her on the bed before she would hurt herself. I pinned her on the bed with my arms, trying to get her to remain still; I was convinced if the venom could move more freely, it would help. She screamed again; louder.

"Shh...Bella...You're doing so well..." I whispered against her neck. The scar from my teeth still shining slightly.

She screamed again and her body convulsed in sobs. This was the first time. "It hurts!" She sobbed and screamed and shook and fought my arms.

Knowing I had caused her this agony, forced her body to undertake this torture was excruciating. Her screams tore at my heart, making me want to sob with her for my actions. But, I needed to comfort her, to make her feel at least the tiniest bit better. To soothe her as much as I was capable of.

"Shh, Bella, I know it hurts.. You're so close. It's almost over." I promised her, holding her even closer.

I heard my whole family enter the room, each person sitting or standing in different spots. Alice and Carlisle both rushed to different spots by the bed. Jasper and Esme remained by the door, watching with nervous looks on their face. Jasper's face was twisted in horror and pain. Rosalie and Emmett sat on my couch. Both faces were solemn. As I leaned over Bella on the bed she cried out. She described the same flames that all of us encountered. The same flames that still haunt our existence to this very day.

Emmett held the horrified Rosalie. Even though she wasn't Bella's best friend, she cared deeply about her; Maybe not as much as she did about herself, but enough that to see Bella like this hurt her. I kept whispering to Bella.

Alice spoke words of encouragement to her. Carlisle helped me keep her calm. I began to hum her a new lullaby. At first it was a low hum, but at the mere sound, her body relaxed slightly. I raised my voice to the point of a normal conversation level. The room got quiet as Bella's moans were soft and horrible. She was so close to dying. Her heart was so slow by now. Her breathing was so lethargic and unwanted. I could hear her dying; see her dying. The lullaby I hummed to her was set to the rhythm of her heart. As each note was released it filled the air and the symphony I heard earlier was released. I had written this in her dying moments.

And as I chocked back the tremors of fear and remorse of when she woke up, I realized that this was the last lullaby.

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_I guarantee the next chapter is Bella waking up. I know I said that last time, but I have written it this time!_

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	40. The Monster Like Me

_I told you I would have this chapter out by today. I win!  
Thank you so much all of you who reviewed. I love you all!  
You own my face._

_Sorry this story keeps dragging on and on.  
I hope you still enjoy it!_

_Disclaimer: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, I don't own the characters._

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I had experienced the dreams. I had contemplated and thought about this since _it_ happened. No matter how much I thought I was prepared for this, nothing my twisted unconsciousness could ever create could capture the pain in the flames I was surrounded by. The fire's intensity was indescribable. It was a pain that was worse than when _he_ threw me into all the walls or any of the bones he broke. There was no possible way to even begin to think clearly in the pits of fire. There was no sense of time, no common thoughts, just pain; constant burning and throbbing.

Every now and then I could feel the flames lessen only slightly, enough to let me slip back into the conscious world around me for only a moment. That's when I heard him. I could hear my personal angel. Those were also the moments the pain around me only loosened enough for me to shake and convulse in pain. I would scream, but could anyone hear me? Was I even screaming to them? I would hear him in those moments, apologizing for this; apologizing for the pain that I had asked for since I had met him. I wanted nothing but to reach out and touch his face. I wanted to hear his voice, but not full of this sadness. I wanted to hear him smiling. I wanted to see him. Every few breaks into reality I could hear him sobbing quietly.

The only relief to this pain was the feeling of Edward's icy body against my heated one. I tried to pull him closer, but my broken mortal body wouldn't comply with my will. Fortunately, he kept me locked to him, soothing what pain he could. But it wasn't enough. He whispered every now and then. Telling me how much he loved me, telling me how sorry he was. I could hardly remember why I was like this. I remembered everything, but at the same time, I didn't. It all seemed so distant, so faded. Like my memory was being run through a washing machine, erasing things bit by bit.

As I used my last moments of semi-lucid state to contemplate all the reasons I was here, I felt it. It was like a current under a wave. It just pulled me lower and lower. Each second that passed caused the flames into my lungs just like water. I could feel my chest tightening like someone was literally squeezing each heartbeat and each breath out of me. Each second it got worse, it got so much worse. I was screaming louder than I could have imagined doing so, the breath left in my lungs were no longer used for breathing, but screaming. The body I was in now was kicking and convulsing. I wanted to stand up and fight the flames. I felt a small constant pressure on my arms and legs; icy touches. I heard words forming into sentences, but I had no conscious mind to stop and figure out what they were saying. I could hear the serious, but loving voice. I could hear the high pitched overly optimistic voice. And I could hear his voice. As velvety and heroic has it been in the past, it wasn't like that now. He was so scared, so vulnerable.

The pain got worse and worse and then even worse. And then...

_Nothing._

I didn't know where I was, I didn't care. The pain was gone. I wasn't hot, I wasn't cold. I wasn't shaking or convulsing. My chest didn't hurt and I was breathing again. I didn't remember where I was or why I was there. I didn't even remember who I was. I heard voices so far off in the distance. I didn't recognize them. They were familiar, but not enough to make me remember why. I didn't focus on them, but each voice got louder and louder. Each voice seemed to talk all at once. The pain was still gone, but the pressure was building up. I heard the voices and I shook my head trying to clear the sounds, but nothing helped.

Then I heard his voice. The voice that sounded so smooth, so perfect. It was like fine silk, like velvet. I listened more intently to his voice, wanting more of it. That voice was the voice of my angel. I knew that voice. With that voice it brought everything back. Memories, like movies, flashed before my eyes. I shut them tightly and focused on the memories playing before me.

I saw everything from moments when I was a child to each time the beautiful boy with the perfect voice saved me. I saw the vampires that attacked us each time. I saw how I was when he left me. I saw the wolf become my best friend, and I saw myself jumping. I saw us in Italy and then I saw him coming back with a broken version of me. We were inseparable. We got married and he changed me. I thought I had seen everything.

But I hadn't seen the one thing that I tried desperately to forget. Something that I _had _to forget if I was ever going to live my life normally. The mutt that was my best friend throwing me around like a rag doll then tearing me apart emotionally and physically. I saw the pain in everyone's eyes when they found out. I saw how hurt _he_ was when they found me, when _he _found me. I saw how what had happened forced me into the life I wanted. I saw him throwing me around, close to death. I saw my family saving me and capturing him. I had decided to kill him. They were going to punish him for all the things he did to my family. Then they told me the mutt got away. I lost control and the next thing I remember was the fire.

I remembered everything. I remembered who I was, where I was, why I was here. _Edward..._ I remembered his voice. The sorrow in his voice; the fear, the vulnerability. I remembered Alice and Carlisle at my sides, trying to keep me from hurting myself. I remembered their voices, their attempts at encouragement, but all I could focus on was the memory of his sorrow. The last moment I remembered of him, he sobbed above my convulsing body. His face played behind my eyelids. He would leave if I didn't stop him, I knew he would. I had to stop him, I had to see if he was still here.

"Edward!" I gasped sitting up straight, my eyes flew open. Instead of seeing the infinite darkness, I saw my family. Everyone was awaiting with smiles on their faces. I sat up in the bed gasping for air, even though my lungs weren't quenched for air. "E-Edward?" I said again, much more quietly and shyly.

"I'm here, love, I'm right here." He whispered. I whipped around and saw him sitting against the headboard. He was sitting so eloquently, yet fearfully; remorsefully. He had a small smile that didn't quite make his eyes. I moved from the middle of the bed where I sat and inched my way over to the spot beside him. The room was quiet. I felt all eyes on me, but my eyes were only on him. I was a few inches from his face as he watched me peculiarly. I got on my knees so he had to look up to see me. This would be the last time he would have to do that. I leaned down over his lips and looked into his eyes.

"I missed you..." I whispered against his lips. His eyes looked gaze as the smile on his lips slowly reached his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but I didn't give him the chance. I captured his lips in the most passionate kiss I had ever given him. I had waited for this for so long. His lips were soft, still cold, but so soft and luscious. As the kiss deepened and both our eyes closed and our lips parted, I ran my tongue over his bottom lip and then slowly inched it and ran it over his perfect teeth. I didn't have to breathe. I slowly pulled away from him, leaving his lips still parted slightly. When I turned my attention back to the room, I heard everyone clapping and hollering. I waited for the heat to rise in my face, but nothing happened. Emmett howled and punched the air as Jasper grabbed a hold of Alice and placed her in his lap before placing a kiss on her neck and looking at me mischievously. Carlisle and Esme sat smiling hand in hand, staring at us. Every color was brighter and more distinguished.

"Well, well, well..." Alice said giggling. I smiled at her, waiting for her to continue, "What happened to her sweet innocent little Bella?" She asked playfully before wiggling out of Jasper's lap and making her way over to me. Halfway over her face broke out into an even bigger smile. She had seen something.

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett shouted, I whipped my head towards him. "You, ugh, might wanna pick your jaw off the floor..." I peered over at Edward as the room howled with laughter. Edward's mouth slowly closed as he stared at me.

I just laid my head on his shoulder and smiled up at him. He smiled down at me and whispered into my ear, "I missed you, too, my love." The cold breath curled around the shell of my ear causing me to shiver. The room fell silent as I stared up at him with my mouth open slightly. He leaned down and kissed it with even more passion than I had kissed him. His cold tongue traced my lips as the kiss deepened more. He pulled away reluctantly. I stared at him with wide eyes. He leaned down to my ear again and whispered, "I think we're even.." He chuckled. Both of us now smiling ear to ear.

"Do you mind?" Emmett shouted. I laughed.

"Sorry..." I muttered. He chuckled. I turned my attention to Carlisle. "Um.. Carlisle?" I called, he nodded for me to continue. "My throat is pretty scratchy. I-Is that from me screaming?" I asked innocently. The whole room broke out in laughter to a joke I didn't get.

Carlisle tried to straighten his face, "No, Bella, that is actually your thirst." He said before stifling another small chuckle. Again I waited for the blush; nothing. "Edward, would you like to take her hunting?" Edward looked at Alice sideways.

"Nothing bad will happen, Edward!" She said as if it was obvious.

"I'm not worried about _that_, Alice..." He said a little angrily.

"Oh! Well, nothing bad that way will happen either!" She said sure of herself. I looked at them incredulously. "What?!" Alice asked innocently. I pouted slightly.

"I thought that once I was a vampire that I would realize what you guys were talking about for once..." I said pouting. Alice giggled and Edward smiled down at me.

"Join the club..." Emmett threw in from the couch. I smiled at him before Edward made a way to get off of the bed, pulling me with him. I thought about fighting him, but I liked that Edward was acting somewhat normal so far.

As we walked past Emmett and Rosalie, Edward stopped and released my hand. I looked at him confused when Rosalie snaked her arms around me trapping my arms by my side awkwardly. I slowly put my arms around her and when she released me she whispered in my ear, "I'm really glad he changed you. Our family wouldn't be the same without you." I was shocked. I couldn't do anything or say anything. She moved away and my jaw sat on the floor. Emmett chuckled and threw his arms around me in a big bear hung. I took a deep breath, waiting on him to cut of the air supply. Then it dawned on me that I had no need to breathe. I smiled and hugged him back as hard as I could. Emmett let go of me very quickly and twisted before muttering something about my newborn strength.

"So, um, is that a forfeit for our arm wrestling later?" I asked amused at my own strength. He laughed loudly.

"That was a good one. Me, Forfeit! Ha! I'm glad to have you back, squirt." He sad before messing up my hair and walking out of the room following Rosalie.

One by one the rest of the family gave me hugs and for the first time, Jasper hugged me. I smiled at him as he smiled awkwardly before following Alice out of the room. Edward and I were left in the room by ourselves.

I looked over to him as he smiled down on me. He was still inches taller than me. "Ready, love?" He asked almost reluctantly. I smiled.

"Not quite..." I said, as I crossed the room to the bathroom.

"Um, Bella, You don't need human moments anymore...Remember?" Something was hidden in his voice, I paid no attention and smiled as I shook my head.

"I remember..." I giggled. I felt my hair blow slightly as he ran up behind me. He grabbed my hips before I could enter the bathroom.

He placed his chin on my shoulder and whispered smoothly, "The what are you doing?" It was almost sensual. I felt a chill go down my spine. Was that even possible? I didn't know how to answer him so I just walked out of his hands and into the bathroom. I felt him follow me. I turned the light on and stepped in front of the sink. I looked to him to see if he understood yet. His face broke out in understanding. I smiled and turned towards the mirror. I gasped at my reflection as I focused on my perfectly curved hips that Edward's hands rested on. My waist was more defined, and my chest was now proportioned to the rest of my body. My hair was flowing over my shoulders, the most perfect brown-auburn mix. It was almost reflecting the light that shone on it. I moved my gaze up and stared at my much more luscious lips that seemed to complete my face. Each angle of it was now more sharp and perfect. For the first time, I didn't feel like I was fighting to keep up in Edward's shadow.

Then I saw them. I gasped and fell back into Edward's waiting arms. The two scarlet eyes glaring back at me sent a wave of fear through my body. They were almost glowing. I sunk into Edward. He knew exactly what was wrong, I could feel it.

"Sh..." He cooed, "It's only temporary, love. They won't be like that forever." He stroked my hair. I nodded and pushed my weight back onto my own two feet.

"Sorry..." I muttered under my breath as I turned to walk out. He grabbed my waist and turned me smoothly. I didn't even stumble. He pulled me towards him and leaned in and kissed me with the same passion as when he had sought his revenge earlier. I was dazzled. If it hadn't been for his hand holding me by the small of my back, I would have fallen onto the hard, white tiles. I smiled up at him.

"I can get used to this..." I mumbled before he kissed me much more chaste and much more sweetly on the lips.

"Me too..." He whispered as he pulled away and placed me on my feet. He smiled, proud of himself and took my hand. He led me down the stairs and through the doors and began to run slowly. He was dragging me as I tried to keep up. He managed to reach the forest before I nearly tripped.

"Edward," I whined confused. I pulled harder on his hand and he came to a stop, "How come I can't run like any of you?" I asked sadly. He laughed. I scowled at him. This wasn't funny.

"Bella, you're still running like you're a human." I looked at him suspiciously. Didn't he run like a human, only faster? He smiled as he circled me. "Close your eyes..." He said softly. I stared at him, he couldn't be serious. "Close. Your. Eyes." He repeated. I rolled my eyes before closing them shut.

"Good...Now take my hand." I was about to open my mouth and point out that it would be impossible to take his hand when I couldn't see him until he snaked his hand into mine. I felt my arm being pulled forward and he twisted so that he was now grabbing both arms and holding them so that he was standing in front of me. I felt him slowly pull me forward. I began to open my eyes.

"Keep them closed..." He instructed. I sighed as I walked with him blindly through the forest. I didn't understand why he was doing this. I could walk fine. At least, I thought I could, until I stumbled over a few rocks.

"Bella, stop focusing on what you're doing, okay? Just focus on you and me." He instructed. I willfully obliged. I felt him pick up speed and each time he did, the wind would whip through my hair a little more. He let go of my left hand and kept his left hand on my right one as he moved to my side.

"Open your eyes..." He said quietly. I turned my head to my right and slowly opened my eyes. Edward's face was broke out in a smile. "Look ahead of you." He instructed. I turned back to look in front of me. I nearly had to stop when I saw the forest flying by me. My feet flew over the rocks and the dirt gracefully. I gasped, amazed that I could do this.

"Told you.." He said smugly. I stuck my tongue out at him as we pulled to a stop. When we finally reached a stop the entire forest that crept by me retreated back to my head. I felt almost faint.

"And I told you I couldn't do it," I accused. "I feel sick..." I mumbled as I leaned against him for support.

"That will pass, just give it time. You just ran faster than a car for the first time. Did you really expect not to feel it at all?" He said still smug.

"I guess not, Mr. Smarty Pants..." I grumbled he smiled as he pushed me onto my feet. He grabbed my hand again and began to walk at a normal pace towards a clearing in the forest. The wind shifted as my hair blew in the opposite direction than before. That's when I smelt it. It was floral, but sweeter. It was the most delicious, perfect thing I had ever smelt. I felt my body stiffen as Edward clenched my hand tighter and walked behind me and held my shoulders. A cold liquid filled my mouth and my body stayed stiff. Edward held onto my shoulders tighter as I leaned towards the clearing the smell came from.

"What is that?" I hissed behind me.

"A caribou." He informed me quickly, "A pack, actually."

"I want it..." I whispered fiercely. "I want them..."

"I know..." He said.

"How?" I asked, still focused on the animals in front of me; my eyes never shifted from them.

"Give in to your senses. Let the venom take over." He whispered. I nodded and dashed out of his hands, pulling out of his grasp easier than I could have ever imagined.

I ran to a tree that was tracing the border of the clearing. I stood behind it watching my prey. The pack of animals slowly each crept towards the other side of the clearing. They had no idea why they were doing it, but their natural senses of danger warned them to run, but I couldn't let them get away. None of them could get away. I ran out quicker than I could have thought into the clearing. I ran to the largest animal first and snapped it's neck easily before moving onto another, assuring it wouldn't get away and I would have more. After that one, I killed another one, just for precaution.

I dashed to the first one I had killed. The venom filled my mouth, threatening to pour out. I crouched down around it's large neck and clenched my teeth into it. The blood pulsed into my mouth, slowly soothing the burning in the back of my throat. The blood was still rather warm as I drained it of all the blood in it's body. I had drained a large creature, but I wanted more. I ran over to the second one I had waiting, I repeated the process, letting the blood flow through my mouth, over my teeth. It seeped down my chin slowly. As I drained the rest of the blood out of the corpse I heard soft footsteps behind me. I pulled away from the blood soaked neck and tossed the body aside. I hissed as I turned quickly and guarded my third caribou.

As I crouched menacingly, the burning in my throat disappeared. I looked up to the person before me; Edward. I stopped breathing and I fell back from my crouching position. I felt the blood still lingering on my face. I stood up and stared at what I had done. I wanted to scream, to run, to hide. I did the only thing I could think to do. I ran in the opposite direction that Edward was standing. I ran faster than I had with Edward, faster than I had when I ran for the caribou. I didn't know where I was going anymore. I just ran. I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them that all of this was a dream. I kept running, refusing to open my eyes.

I wanted so bad to start crying, but it was impossible. I heard breaks squealing and a few car speeding around me, but I didn't stop. I didn't stop until two large arms grabbed my shoulders and another set of hands grabbed my wrists. I fought against them, keeping my eyes closed.

"Bella!" One finally shouted, forcing my eyes to fly open. The arms secured around me belonged to Emmett and the hands holding my wrists were none other than Jasper's. I fought for only a few seconds before I broke down sobbing. Emmett's iron arms relaxed as he picked me easily up and Jasper released my wrists. I sobbed into Emmett's large chest as we he carried me to the jeep. Where had that come from? Jasper pulled out his cell phone and dialed furiously fast, but for once, I could see each finger pressing each button. It didn't seem as fast anymore.

"We have her...Yeah, we'll be home in 20 minutes or so. We'll just meet you back at the house. She's fine. Mmhm. I know, Edward." My heart dropped. What did he think of me now? I was a killer. I was a killer and I ran from it; from him. Emmett set me in the back seat of the Jeep and Jasper sat in the passenger seat. Emmett buckled me into the complex seat belts and secured them around me. The atmosphere became lighter, almost happier and safer.

"Jasper," I muttered, "Please don't...I'm not going to run..." He shrugged and the euphoria went away. I needed to feel like this for a bit. Emmett hopped into the front seat and took off ridiculously fast. I closed my eyes and pulled my legs up to my chest, something I hadn't been able to do without everything throbbing since Jacob attacked me the first time.

I focused on my breathing as Jasper and Emmett conversed quietly in the front seat and even though there whispers where almost inaudible, if I had focused, I could have heard every word. I sat quietly and waited in the back seat. I waited to go to a home I didn't deserve and I waited to see the husband that couldn't love a monster like me.


	41. If This Was Eternity

_Hey, guys!_

_Sorry for the confusion! I will not be stopping this story until all the questions are answered, trust me!_

_This story has at least another 5 or 6 chapters to go! After all, Jacob isn't dead yet, is he?_

_Oh, and let me clear this up! I don't hate Jacob Black! I know this story seems to argue that, but I really don't hate him. I'm 100 team Edward. That's all it is. And I'm a bit of a twisted soul...sooo...yeah._

_This chapter isn't too long. I like this chapter. _

_Here's the thing. Next chapterLemon..._

_I don't know how well written my lemon is because I have never really sat down and written lemons. Is there anyone that has experience in lemons (real life experience MIGHT help P) that would be willing to let me send you the chapter and you could tell me how I could improve on the...well... the sex scene... -Sighs-_

_  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I'm amazed whenever a new one comes in!_

_Read and Review!_

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer Me**_

_** the end.**  
_

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As I kept my knees folded to my chest and my head in my knees, the blood on the shirt still taunted my instincts. Part of me was sickened by the thought of blood, while the other part considered jumping out of the car and attacking more prey. But at the latter, I felt sick. It reminded me of running away from Edward, and the reasons I did. Breaking my train of thought, Jasper's phone vibrated in his pocket and my intense hearing picked up Alice's voice that answered Jasper's greeting.

"Hi, Jazz, I just wanted to tell Bella that the bag in the back seat next to her is a bag filled with clothes for her to change into, so she wouldn't have to keep smelling the blood on her shirt. If she had a CELL phone, I wouldn't have to call you to tell her that, but she doesn't, so I had to."

"Um... Bella?" Jasper's voice rang. I pulled my head from my knees. He looked at me for help.

"I heard her..." I grumbled. Alice's mood wasn't rubbing off on me at all. I just hoped Jasper wouldn't try and influence my emotions right now. I needed to feel this.

"I knew she could..." Alice's voice sang happily. "Go ahead and change, Bella. You'll feel better, I promise."

I looked at the lumpy bag of clothes and moaned at the idea of having to change, not only in front of my brothers, but into clothes Alice picked out. I could only imagine what she had picked out.

"We won't look, don't worry.." Emmett mumbled. Alice definitely was up to something, but I still didn't care to find out what, even if Emmett and Jasper knew. My curiosity had dispersed after what had happened.

"Fine..." I spat resentfully. I wasn't angry at them, but I had no where else to direct the piles of emotions that flooded me. Alice thanked me and hung up the phone accomplished. Emmett's jeep pulled to the side of the road and both Emmett and Jasper placed their hands over their eyes very planned and very cinematically. I fought with the seat belt until Emmett finally shouted out which buttons to press. Eventually I climbed out of the seat belt and pulled out the clothes in the duffle bag.

I zipped open the bag and pulled out a pair of comfortable enough looking jeans and a simple deep cyan v-neck t-shirt. I slid off the dirty jeans I had been wearing earlier and crawled into the other ones. The back seat of the jeep was quite large. I pulled off the dirty, blood stained t-shirt I wore and shoved around in the bag looking for a cleaner bra. I found the bra and realized instantly she had planted the bra for a reason, and I had no intention of following through with the plan she had up her sleeve. The bra was black silk, with lace trimming the edges. On any other day, it would be sexy, but today it was just in the way. I wrapped it around me and fastened the back and quickly slid the dark aqua shirt and slid it over my more defined chest and hips. I groaned when I saw that the tip of the v-neck reached just above the cups of the bra.

"I'm done..." I mumbled angrily as I tried to buckle myself back into the seat belt. I failed miserably. All I did was tangle myself up in them. Emmett laughed hysterically and Jasper climbed over the seat and buckled me in. I looked out the window angrily.

"Sorry, Bella. I know the seat belt seems pointless, but Edward would kill both of us if you came home with the tiniest scratch on your face." Jasper apologized. I shrugged as he sat back in his seat and we took off. The road sign read 30 miles to Willow Creek. Great, I had less than 15 minutes. I pulled my knees back up to my chest and laid my head back down, dreading our homecoming.

We arrived at the house and Emmett parked in the garage that was filled with cars. Emmett reached for the door and looked at me through the window. I shook my head. I wanted to stay in this seat for a moment. He opened the door anyway and began unbuckling the seat belt. He reached for me to move me out of the car when a velvety smooth voice stopped him.

"I'll take it from here, Emmett..." It was Edward's perfect voice, but there was pain flowing through it. I couldn't look at him. I felt Emmett's hands snake from my neck as he walked away. Edward grabbed me from the seat and carried me bridal style out of the garage. He walked away from the house and back to the forest.

It was quiet and I could nearly hear the thoughts racing in his mind. I didn't want to know what he was thinking; I didn't want to hear how much I disappointed him. He continued to carry me and began running. When he stopped we were in the same place he had brought me to discuss my change. He walked over to large, flat rock that he sat on and placed me in his lap.

He held me close to him, both of us craving the close proximity, and neither of us saying a word. I listened to his breathing and tucked my head into his chest. I loved him and I nowhere near deserved him. He brushed my hair with his fingertips, curling it absentmindedly. It was quiet for so long and neither of us cared to be the one to break the silence, but I so desperately needed to hear his voice. I didn't speak. The sun set before either of finally decided to break the silence.

"Why did you run?" He asked quietly while his chin rested on my head. I just shook my head.

"I was scared." I replied briefly into his shirt, grasping at it tightly. As sweet as he smelt before, his scent was perfect now. It was purest heaven, the scent of an archangel. I gripped his shirt tighter, pulling his scent closer.

"Scared?" His voice displayed the confusion and pain that I'm sure settled in his eyes. "What were you scared of?" How would I tell him that I didn't think he would love me? I shook my head, still nestled in his chest.

"Bella," his voice begged, "Talk to me, please." I took an unnecessary breath as I pulled back and shifted in his arms so that he would still be holding me, but I wasn't mumbling into his shirt.

"I was scared you wouldn't love me..." I whispered so softly. I saw the concentration in his eyes.

"Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, How could you ever think that?" He whispered harshly. I felt my body rock slightly in remorse as he held me against him.

"I wasn't me back there, Edward...I was...I was some kind of monster..." My voice remained nearly inaudible.

"I knew I shouldn't have changed you..." He said regretfully. My heart sank and I waited for the tears to pour down my face as I grabbed hold of him in panic. He shifted to set me on the rock beside him.

"Edward, please don't go!" I was nearly shouting and begging and my voice came out in sobs. He stared down at me confused and caught off guard. He understood the panic.

"No! Bella, I meant that I knew that when I changed you that you would regret it!" He explained quickly, grabbing my chin with his free hand and forcing me to look at him as I shook in the arm that still held me.

"I could never regret an eternity with you..." I choked out. I thought becoming a vampire would eliminate the choked sobs, but it only made it more difficult and more awkward without the actual tears.

"I damned your soul to some monstrous existence!" He said regretfully. I hated when he got like this. This was my choice and my choice would drive him away.

"Edward, no!" I begged. "Please, stop saying that. I don't regret this, I will never regret this! I-I just don't know how you can love a monster!" I cried against him. His arms locked around me.

"Bella, you in no way are a monster. A monster wouldn't be sobbing after killing a few caribou. Bella, we all do this. Sometimes even weekly. That in no way made you a monster of any kind. Please believe that, for me." He begged. I nodded into his chest. I continued to shake lightly as his still iron grip locked around me.

"I love you…" I whispered. He sighed and pulled my head up from his chest by lifting my chin.

"I love you, too." He whispered against my lips. The cool air from his mouth danced on my lips before he kissed them with a burning passion we both were growing used to. He pulled away and I leaned into his chest even more, but kept my mouth free to talk.

"Edward, h-how did Emmett and Jasper find me?" I asked sheepishly.

"Alice," He responded shortly. I nodded. Of course she would have seen me.

"Do you regret it?" I asked. He looked down on me, puzzled.

"Regret, what?" He countered.

"Changing me?" I pushed. The slight smile on his face fell.

"If I said I would do it again in a heartbeat to save your life, does that make me a horrible husband?" He asked as the smile made his way back on his lips before I kissed it sweetly.

"It makes you the best husband..." I mumbled against his lips. The smile got bigger. I pulled away only slightly so that I was sitting in his lap so that we could both watch the scenery below us.

The night was nearly freezing, but it felt perfect to me, even with Edward's freezing body pressed against mine, the temperature didn't bother me. The wind shifted paths and with the wind, in the distance, the cry of a wolf rang through the lands. I felt a chill go down my spine and Edward's body grew stiff. I remained quiet for a few more minutes; I knew he was wondering.

"I remember." I murmured quietly as I closed my eyes. I took his silence as a key for me to keep explaining. "I remember him; I remember _Jacob._ I remember what he did to me and why you had to change me. I don't want to remember, but I do..." I continued. He never relaxed like I hoped he would. "I didn't forget..." I mumbled.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered against my hair. I pulled away from him and rotated so I could look him in the eyes.

"Sorry for what?" I was puzzled and I was sure it showed on my face. He couldn't control what I remembered.

"I'm sorry you remember and that this isn't all that you wanted." He said quietly as he still ran his fingers through my hair, focusing on my hair and not looking me in the eyes. I felt his remorse and reluctance.

"Edward, this is exactly what I wanted." I countered as I pushed my hand to his chin and lifted it so he would be looking at me. Alice was right, something had changed in me. I was more confident and I was more driven. As strange as it was for me, I enjoyed the new sense of self assurance. He looked me in the eyes as I had intended.

"You wanted to forget and you didn't..." He defended under his breath. I smiled sadly at him.

"No, Edward, I wanted to spend Eternity with you, and I can..." His eyes brightened slightly and my lips tugged into a sincere smile.

"I'm happier now, Edward. I'm happier as a vampire." I added. His brows furrowed in blatant confusion.

"How are you happier?" He questioned.

"I'm not scared anymore." I exclaimed happily. "I don't have to look over my shoulder, now. Every second of my life, before you changed me, I constantly worried about not being able to fight back if something happened again, but this time, I'm not scared." My voice was brighter than it had been. He looked at me dazed.

"You never stop amazing me." He whispered as if the breath had been knocked out of him. I smiled happily, feeling accomplished. He leaned over and kissed me chastely on the lips and pulled away. I frowned.

"There is one more thing I like about being a vampire now..." I whispered as I looked up at him.

"And that is...?" He urged me on. I lunged forward and kissed him fiercely on the lips. Edward sat on the rock we had been sitting on since we had arrived here and was sitting cross legged to face me. As I deepened the kiss I moved forward, placing me in his lap and he straightened his legs out as he pulled me closer.

And if this was eternity, it couldn't come soon enough.

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_Review!!_

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	42. Nothing Else Mattered

_Hello, All!!_

_Happy Father's day to everyone out there!!_

_Thanks for the boat-load of great reviews, you all make me smile this big :D! _

_Some of you are saying how you like how I altered the characters. To be honest, I tried to keep all the characters as true as possible, (except Jacob obviously, and Rosalie is a bit less infatuated with herself) so feel free to call me out when my point of views get a little screwy. And, yes, Bella will be a bit out of OOC from now on... She's a vampire! And she's having sex in this chapter...P  
_

_So, this is my lemon scene (aka sex /) and I don't know how good it will be.  
No matter how good an author is, it takes a bit of experience to write about someone else's and let's be honest, I don't have much experience.  
Tell me what you think!  
Don't be too harsh.._

_-nervous to see what you think-  
_

_Read and Review!_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own these beautiful characters._**

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"There is one more thing I like about being a vampire now..." I whispered as I looked up at him.

"And that is...?" He urged me on. I lunged forward and kissed him fiercely on the lips. Edward sat on the rock we had been sitting on since we had arrived here and was sitting cross legged to face me. As I deepened the kiss I moved forward, placing me in his lap and he straightened his legs out as he pulled me closer.

His tongue escaped the safety of his own mouth and ran across my bottom lip, seeking access into mine. I gladly accepted as he ran his still icy tongue across my teeth sending chills down my back. His hands wrapped around me and while one hand began rubbing small circles sensually on the base of my spine, the other slowly pulled me forward as he leaned backwards, forcing me on top of him.

I ran my hands through his hair, thanking God that the space was large enough to provide enough room to move around on. I ran my arms up his sides and eventually reached my destination of his hair. I ran my fingers through it friskily, playfully pulling him closer to me. I didn't have to breathe and I used this to my advantage. As the kiss grew more passionate he rolled us so that I was now below him and he was floating above me, not letting me feel any of his weight. He was sitting on his elbows and knees, which straddled my legs now.

He ran his hands from the sides of my ribs down to my hips were he held them firmly and would occasionally message sensually. I moaned as a deep pressure built up within me. I kept one of hands in his hair, tugging it sensually, loving the smooth texture between my fingers. I slid my other hand down to his lower back and he moved his lips down my neck, covering each inch with kisses. His cold lips created a new sensation on my durable and cold skin.

He trailed his kisses down to the too-low cut V-neck t-shirt I was wearing. I had to remember to thank Alice. His lips touched the center where the bra met as his hands slowly found the hem of my shirt and began to pull it above my head. The air hit my stomach and although it wasn't cold, it was an intense feeling. He continued to kiss lower and lower until he reached the button of the jeans I wore.

He looked up to me from my stomach asking permission to keep going. I happily granted him to move on. He smiled at me lustfully and slowly unbuttoned my jeans. I lifted my hips off of the hard stone beneath me and allowing him access to slide the pants down, leaving me in the black lacy bra and a pair of black silk underwear I didn't remember putting on. Another reason to thank Alice. I felt so exposed in front of Edward, so raw. I moved my hands slightly to cover more of my body. Edward trapped my hands above my head.

"Don't. Ever. Hide. From. Me." He commanded as he laced his fingers through mine as he hovered atop me, barely bothering to hover any more. He kissed me passionately on the lips and moved his mouth next to my ear and whispered, "You are the most beautiful and sexy creature ever to have walked this planet..." His voice sent shivers down my spine. I looked up at him wide eyes as he smiled lustfully at me, his eyes dark with passion and lust.

He resumed his position, hovering above me showering my face in kisses. He kissed my forehead, giving me time to mumble against his neck, "This isn't fair at all..." I whined. He looked down at me scared. I smiled mischievously and flipped us again so that he was on the bottom and I had him pinned against the rock. His eyes widened in shock. I knelt above him now as I pried my hands under his shirt and peeled it quickly from his skin, not wanting to wait another moment to see his beautiful chest gleam in the light of the moon. Once the inconvenient fabric was off, the moonlight that fought through the clouds nearly reflected in his skin. I leaned down and kissed his stomach from his perfectly chiseled abs to his neck and back to his lips. As my hand ghosted between us sitting on the hem of his jeans, he moaned and arched against my hand. I smiled at the hard proof of how much I effected him. I moved both hands to the button of his jeans and pulled them down revealing a sleek pair of black, silk boxers. As he kicked off the jeans he pulled me back on top of him and moaned against my lips as I gyrated my hips above his.

I smiled and moved like that again. He growled full of lust and flipped us over, pinning him on top of me, locking my arms by my side. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he moved his hands from my arms to my still covered chest. He pushed his hands underneath me and I helped him gain access to the clasp and arched my back, again hitting his groin against mine. He hissed sexily as he unclasped the bra in a blur and pulled it from my body, throwing it in a pile with our other clothes.

He moved his mouth over my breast and took it in his mouth, rolling the nipple between his teeth. I hissed in pleasure and rotated my hips against his. He moaned against my chest and the vibrato shook through his teeth.

"Edward," I gasped, "Stop teasing me..." I hissed out.

"Oh, is that what I'm doing?" He whispered and his cold breath swirled against my chest. "I didn't realize..." I arched my back again and he moaned louder than he had before. My legs were parting on their own accord already, and Edward placed his knee between my legs and pushed slightly against my core. I groaned at the sensation of it all.

"Edward, please..." I begged.

"Please what, Bella?" He feigned innocence. "What do you want, you have to tell me. I can't read your mind." He whispered as he kept his lips near my nipple as his finger mirrored what his teeth did. I could feel his lips tug into a smile. I arched again and he dodged it gracefully, smiling triumphantly.

"Edward..." I gasped out breathlessly. "M-Make love to me..." I pleaded into the air hoping he would comply.

"Is that what you really wish for?" He asked sensually.

"Please..." I choked.

"Your wish is my desire." His voice was rugged and husky, yet still somehow smooth. He was an oxymoron in himself. I didn't catch his play on words, either. He reached down and slowly began to pull off the silky underwear down my legs. I desperately tried to kick them off before he bent down and pulled them off quickly, kissing every inch of me from my toes to my mouth, eliciting a moan from me when he reached a certain neglected part of my body. I began to pull his off of him before he pulled them off himself, much quicker. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me deeply. I could feel him at my entrance. I gasped at the new sensation. I could feel the passion in my stomach rolling. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked against my neck.

"Yes!" I gasped, impatiently. He smiled and kissed me fervently right before pushing into me. I gasped at the new sensation. As he waited slowly for my body to get readjusted. I smiled up at him and he slowly built up a rhythm that we both mirrored. The slow steady rhythm was intensified by the cold air and the loud moans Edward an I both released. I raised my hips to meet each thrust. He picked up speed. I could see the lust in his eyes, slowly carrying him away, just like the eyes of my former best friend.

"Stop..." I whispered inaudibly. I stopped moving.

"Stop what, Bella? I'm not teasing you anymore..." He said out of breath between moans. He thought this was just heat of the moment talk. I was frozen and had nothing to way to explain more.

"No, Edward, please!" I whispered more frantically. "Please, stop!" I shrieked. His eyes widened in fear and he slowly moved so that he was laying over me protectively and lovingly, not sexually. I stared at a star in the sky, afraid to look at him. I tried to keep my concentration on that star, at least for a moment. It wasn't going well. He was still like stone, as not to frighten me again. I took a deep breath, trying to forget why I needed to stop, and continued.

"I-I just need a second. I-I'm so s-sorry..." I whispered against his chest that he held me against.

"Sh.. Bella, I know. That was too fast, I'm sorry." He cooed as he stroked my hair. I shook my head.

"I don't want to stop, but I-I'm scared again." I whispered clinging to him. He held me closer. "I'm sorry..." I felt like I was going to cry, but I knew it was impossible, and I was glad. I didn't want to be the girl that cried during sex.

He lay me back on the rock and hovered over me again, hardly touching me. He cleared the hair from my face. "Don't be scared, my love, I won't hurt you, I can't hurt you. He's not here, now. I am and I will not hurt you. Do you trust me?" He asked quietly, looking deep into my eyes.

"Always..." I answered.

"Would you like to continue?" He asked gently. I nodded.

"Please..." I added. He smiled and nodded. I felt him place himself at my entrance again. He slowly lowered himself into me and he moved slowly, yet sensually. As he created a new rhythm, I could feel a different emotion building inside of me. I could feel us finally completing each other; becoming one. This wasn't like before. I felt myself drifting into a place of perfection. He kept his smooth and simple pattern perfect, and his eyes stayed focused on mine. The fear that had boiled within me before was replaced by something completely different. I gyrated my hips, changing things up slightly. Edward's eyes closed as he rode out what I had just done. We both moaned as our core's met. I needed more.

"Nnn...Edward..." I groaned as he maneuvered, pushing himself deeper. "Ughhh... Move... Faster...Deeper...Something..." I begged. I saw the concentration in his face.

"Are you sure?" He grunted.

"Yes!" I shouted as he pushed himself deeper at an erratic time. I pushed my hips up to meet his. Both of us cried out in pleasure. His smooth motions that were too perfect and too slow soon became rushed and urgent thrusts. I felt myself clenching around him as I began to shake with pleasure.

"Edward," I whispered breathlessly as he continued to thrust quickly into me. I couldn't wait much longer. "Edward, come with me, please..." I begged. He pushed harder and faster. I screamed out in pure ecstasy. I pushed myself against him as I clenched around him. I spasmed around him as my body shook in euphoria.

"Bella!" He shouted. I lifted my hips granting in deeper access, hoping he would ride this out, hoping he would come with me. He thrust into me only a few more times before he began shaking and emptied the cold liquid into me. I moaned and he grunted at the new feelings we both were experiencing. He collapsed on top of me and we were both still shaking slightly and he rolled us over so that he could hold me against him.

"Thank you..." I whispered in his chest.

"My pleasure." He whispered back. I looked up at him out of the corner of my eye. His smile was perfectly crooked.

"I've created a monster..." I giggled. He nodded and chuckled softly, causing me to bounce slightly on his chest. After a few minutes the quiet set in.

"I assume we should get dressed now..." He suggested, breaking the silence. I thought about it for a second.

"And go home...?" I asked warily. I didn't want to face our family, especially Emmett right now, maybe never.

"Why wouldn't we?" Edward countered.

"They all know..." I mumbled into his chest.

"Know that we..." He searched for the appropriate word. I thought I would save him.

"Mmhm..." I answered. "That's where the clothes came from... especially the little lacy number you seemed to like." I could almost feel the blush rising, even though I knew blood wouldn't flow through my face.

"Well, we have to go back sooner or later, love." He reminded me. I groaned out of embarrassment.

"I know, but can we walk?" I asked hopefully. He chuckled again.

"Whatever you want." He said as he chuckled. I pushed myself off of him and began searching for the various pieces of clothing lost. I would have killed for a sheet to wrap around myself, so since Edward's shirt would have to suffice, I slid that over myself before searching for my other clothes. He laughed, I stuck my tongue out. It was a fair trade.

I found my clothes spread out through the clearing. My shirt was even past the trees outlining the clearing. How he did that, I didn't know. I brought my clothes and set them in a neat pile near where Edward sat fully dressed, except for the shirt hanging off of me, reaching mid-thigh. I pulled my underwear out of the pile, or at least part of it. I held it up in the air.

"Edward..." I said warningly. He looked at me innocently. "I thought you pulled those down!" I accused.

"Well, I did, but you didn't kick them off very well and they were kind of in the way..." He explained sheepishly. I fought back my laughter and feigned anger.

"Looks like I'm going commando. How fantastic!" He looked at me and raised his eyebrows suggestively. I rolled my eyes before laughing. I grabbed my untouched jeans and slid them on before moving to my bra where I threw Edward's shirt back at him as I turned away from him to wrap the bra around me. I threw my shirt on and attempted to fix my hair, but I could still feel the tangles weaved through it. After sliding his shirt on he brushed his hands through his hair and appeared by my side, looking perfect. I sighed angrily.

"Ready?" He asked grabbing my hand.

"Are you?" I threw back at him. He laughed.

"Not really, but we do need to get back. Alice has been dying to talk to you since you woke up anyway and I'm sure there will be a lot to talk about when we get home." His voice was brighter than before. The remorse was more hidden and I felt accomplished.

"Yeah, a lot, as in how we just had sex?" I suggested bluntly. He looked down at me sharply before breaking out in chuckles.

"We might as well run... It will be close to an hour walk, only a few minutes if we run." He explained.

"I'm too tired to run, though. I just wanna rest a bit." I whined. His face broke out in an excited smile.

"So I get to carry you?" He asked. I looked at him strangely.

"If you want...?" I responded puzzled. He smiled and before he could say anything else he grabbed me in a bridal-style carry and dashed into the forest. I could easily look out into the forest now, and see everything around me. I didn't feel sick anymore, but I still craved the closeness. I tucked my chin into his neck and closed my eyes just like I did as a human. I took in his strong, perfect scent and smiled. I loved this.

Before I was ready he came to a steady stop. I whined against his neck as he put me down onto my own two feet. He grabbed my hand in his as he led me up the few stairs to the front door. I sighed as he reached his free hand to the door knob. He twisted it painfully slowly and I took a deep breath as he swung it open. So far, no one had said anything. A sense of relief fell over me; something you should never feel in the Cullen household; not with Emmett or Alice around. Edward dragged me into the living room and as if on cue, the moment we stepped in the room, it broke out into cheers and hollers and whistles. I groaned and turned away from the room and buried my head in Edward's shoulder.

"Congrats, Eddie! You're not a virgin anymore! And from what it sounded like 109 years was worth the wait!" Emmett hollered as the room broke out into loud laughter. I exasperatedly groaned into Edward's shoulder. I growl ripped through his chest.

"That might have been louder than me and Rose's first time!" He kept going. Leave it to Emmett to never let something to die. I was locked to Edward's chest by this time, but I could hear Rosalie's hand smack Emmett clear across his head. Edward grabbed me and somehow managed to escape the cheers. Since I was physically incapable of moving at this point, he carried me up the stairs to his room and placed me on the bed. I closed my eyes and covered my hands over my eyes and groaned.

"Does it ever stop?" I asked, still hearing the whistles downstairs and the debate on who was louder; Edward, or myself. He smiled wickedly.

"Nope!" He chuckled as he climbed into the bed with me. He pulled me closer to him, more lovingly than before and much more gentle.

"Edward?" I called.

"Hmm?" He answered.

"I love you." I verified. He smiled against my shoulder.

"I love you, too." He said quietly as he kept me close to him.

I snuggled in closer and refused to let go. In that moment, nothing else mattered.


	43. Something That Would Never Come

_Hello, again!_

_I know it has been ages since I posted last and I'm so sorry. It's been a touch week for me and I've been out of town. I'm feeling really discouraged with my writing and I'm having a bit of a block! So, please forgive me._

_Writer's block is absolutely horrible!!_

_The next chapter is in the processes and my beta should be getting it soon. I'm so sorry guys! I hope this makes up for it_

_I'm also sorry to say that there are not many more chapters in the works. About 4 or 5, but not much more. Tell me what you think. I'm not so sure how this chapter measures up. Hope you guys like it!_

_**Disclaimer: I hate writing this. I really do.**_

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Three hours passed without me moving even an inch out of Edward's arms. Edward mindlessly twirled my hair and we both remained perfectly quiet, enjoying the silence. As much as I wanted to remain in his lap forever, I started to grow restless. There were only so many things one can think of while trying to avoid the biggest part of your life. I shifted so that his arms were still around me, but I was in a different position in his lap. He moved his head off of the headboard and rested his forehead on my shoulder and turned his head so that he could kiss my neck. The sensation of his chilly lips on my neck sent tingles down my spine. I whipped my head to face him, not expecting the kiss. He looked up to me with wide, lustful eyes. I felt my tensed body relax into his arms as I rolled so that I was on top of him, still in his arms.

I leaned over and kissed him square on the lips. He pulled me closer to him as he rolled so he was on top. He pinned me down at my waist with his knees he now used to straddle me with. He pulled away from me and knelt above me. He peeled his shirt off slowly, torturing me. I sighed as I reached out and traced his perfectly chiseled body. He moaned so softly I had to strain to hear it. He pushed my hands away from him, leaving me wide eyed. He smiled mischievously as he pushed my hands above my head. He ran his hands down from my wrists that touched the headboard and moved them down my body. His cold hands reached my chest and I could still feel them through the thin shirt I wore. He lingered at my chest, taunting me. I arched my back slightly, enough to push my chest out. He just shook his head and continued his hands down my sides until he reached my waist. He curled his hands under my shirt and pulled it so slow I had to fight back a groan. He laughed as he pulled it over my head. He kissed me from the seam of my jeans all the way to my lips, leaving a ghost trail of kisses. The heat pooled in my stomach again. Edward's growing arousal rubbed against me through our jeans and both of us moaned loudly. Edward bent down further to deepen the kiss when Emmett's holler echoed through the house.

"Round Two!" He shouted. Edward collapsed on top of me as I tried to sink into the furniture. I groaned in embarrassment as a round of laughter was set off downstairs.

Edward sighed as he kissed my lips sweetly and rolled off of me. After Emmett's commentary, the mood disappeared. We both lay there staring at the ceiling, hand in hand, both of our breath still slightly erratic, even though it wasn't needed. Minutes passed and our breathes evened. The laughter and chatter downstairs had stopped.

Edward sighed and rubbed a circle in my hand. "Ready to go downstairs now?" He asked simply. I stared at him in disbelief.

"They just stopped thinking about us having," I didn't even want to say it out loud, "about us doing _it._ Of course I don't want to go down there." I stated.

"Just because they stopped talking about it doesn't mean they stopped thinking about it." He muttered. I groaned again shoving my head into the pillow next to me. He chuckled lightly and moved off of the bed, keeping my hand in his and pulled me up. We both still remained topless and in jeans. As he pulled me up he intentionally pulled me too fast and caused me to crash into him so that he could kiss me. I smiled against his lips and pulled back walking swiftly to the closet, swaying my hips playfully. My hair blew forward as he ran up behind me and grabbed my hips and his lips rested a few centimeters from my ear. I stopped walking.

"If you keep swaying your hips like that, I'm going to take you right here no matter who shouts what." He said seductively. I smiled knowing I had accomplished my mission of taunting him like he had tantalized me earlier. I turned my head slightly so I could him from the corner of my eye.

"We will see about that..." I whispered sexily as I pulled my hips out of his hands and walked to the closet. I heard a growl rumble through his chest as he walked to the dresser in the room. I shivered. The growl was too familiar. _No, _I reminded myself, _This isn't him, that is Edward and Edward won't hurt me. _I repeated that over and over like I had the past few hours when he would get too lusty eyed. It didn't stop the slight pang of fear in my heart. I stopped swaying my hips as I entered the closet and searched through the closet, nothing that I had owned was in it. I stuck my head out of the closet door.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes?" He answered.

"I don't mean to complain, but, um, where are all of my clothes?" I tried to sound innocent. I figured Alice would buy me clothes for my change, but there was nothing of mine.

"Alice took them along with mine." I groaned. "Love, you are an entirely different size in everything. Think of it this way, that saves you an entire shopping trip." As negative as he tends to be, he was good at lightening things. I nodded as I turned back into the closet and opened drawers and cabinets at random looking for the necessities. I eventually stumbled across the drawers filled with underwear and bras and picked a pair out. I shimmied out of my jeans and slip on the underwear and grabbed a pair of clean jeans. I pulled them on and traded the bra I was wearing for a simpler cotton one. I searched through the rows of clothes and finally found a simple blue t-shirt, similar to the one that now lay on the floor by the bed, only it was navy. I pushed all of the clothes into a pile in the corner of the closet that seemed perfect for dirty clothes and I walked out to a waiting Edward. He leaned against the wall outside the closet and grabbed my waist as I walked to the door, causing me to shriek in surprise. I glared at Edward to the best of my ability. His eyes looked at me innocently. I couldn't stay mad. I leaned in and kissed him sweetly on the lips and pulled out of his arms.

I glided to the door and as soon as I touched the handle Edward was by my side and whispered in my ear, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in blue?" I sighed.

"And have I ever told you that you are relentless?" I giggled as his face fell.

"I was serious." He pouted slightly. I laughed a bit louder.

"So was I." I smiled as I opened the door and stepped out of it. Edward grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs. A round of laughter came from the living room. I looked at Edward, silently begging him to just take us upstairs.

"It wasn't about us this time, love." He whispered and smiled as he pulled me closer to the living room. We walked through the open arch and Edward pulled me into a leather love seat near the door.

"Hello, Bella, Edward." Carlisle greeted us as we sat down, hand in hand. Esme smiled at us brightly, sitting next to Carlisle on the couch, before turning back to the TV mounted on the wall. A comedian flashed across the screen as he performed his stand up. I hadn't really been listening and didn't care to start now. Alice and Jasper sat on another love seat across the room and Alice smiled at us as Jasper rubbed circles on her thigh. Emmett sat in the overstuffed chair a few feet from us with Rosalie in his lap. Emmett's view was fastened on the TV, laughing every few seconds.

After a few minutes the show ended and the family shifted so that the focus was on each other rather than the TV.

"So, Bella," Carlisle said from across the room. I jerked my head to look at him. "Do you have any powers, yet?" I had forgotten about the possibility of having a power. I was even a little disappointed when I realized I didn't have one. I began to shake my head, but Emmett intervened.

"_Besides_ devirginizing our little Eddie?" Emmett asked innocently. Alice and Jasper choked back their laughter. I groaned as Edward growled for him to shut up. Emmett's laughter boomed through the house, shaking the walls. Rosalie smacked him on his arm hard enough for him to shout as the loud crashing noise reverberated around the house. The family laughed louder.

"No, Carlisle, I don't think I have any powers." I said, trying to get the focus back from my and Edward's sex life.

"Don't worry about it, Bella, It can take a few days to even realize you have powers. It all depends." Carlisle assured me. I nodded and the room grew quiet.

"Pack..." Alice muttered quietly, and I heard her perfectly, but I wasn't quite sure what she meant. As I pondered for a second what she had meant the doorbell echoed through the house causing me to jump. Edward chuckled as Carlisle stood up and answered the door, gesturing _the pack_ in towards the open seating around the room. Sam entered first, leading the pack as always.

"Hey, Bella..." He said flicking his nose, trying to discretely cover up the new smell. I wanted to know what he was thinking as he saw me. Would they attack Edward or any of the family because he changed me? Would he rather me be dead? His voice shook my out of my thoughts. "It's nice to see you..."

My neck snapped up to look at him as he took a seat across the room. I had to be hearing things. I shook my head to try and come back to reality.

"Hi, Sam." I said brightly and I turned to face the rest of the pack. They all stared at me awkwardly, each one with different expressions on their faces.

"Sam," Carlisle directed the focus of the room from me to the pack and I smiled gratefully at him. "What brings you all here today?" He asked politely. Sam cleared his voice and looked at me anxiously before turning back to Carlisle.

"Well, um, we need to discuss what we are going to do about," he looked at me, nervously. I wanted him to feel relaxed. I knew he was going to say something about Jacob, and I wasn't as scared as I was a few days ago. "Well, about Jacob. We all have families at home and we need to be returning.. We've been here for nearly a week." I lowered my head a little, knowing that it was pretty much my fault they were still here. I shook my head discretely, not thinking about it. A sense of security filled me and I looked up at Jasper thankfully.

"Sam, I'm afraid that it will be nearly impossible to track Jacob if he is still working with Tanya." I looked at Carlisle quizzically. He smiled, "Bella, We believe that Tanya has a gift of hiding things and that was how we never caught Jacob or her before the attack happened." He explained. I nodded. That explained a lot.

"We caught Jacob's scent about 30 miles from here, a bit east of Anchorage. It vanished after about a mile." Sam described. "If we are going to do any of this, we need to do it soon. We have families." He insisted.

Carlisle nodded, "We understand that. The reason that we can't find Jacob and his scent disappears is due to Tanya. I suspect that she is remaining close to wooded areas for obvious reasons, and they have a hide out somewhere around there. They have put too much into this to just abandon Bella and Edward, now. They are still waiting for them." My breath caught in my throat. As fearless as I thought I was, the idea of him waiting for me still scared me thoroughly. Edward's hand gripped mine tighter and rubbed circles onto the back of it. "The only time we ever got close to Tanya or Jacob was when Tanya found Edward and obviously let her guard down."

"They aren't going to stop searching and fighting for them until they get them. We have to find them, before they find us. We don't know what they are capable of at this point. The Denali clan was only miles away when we found them." Edward interjected from our seat. Carlisle nodded. My head shot up as my spirit sank considerably, knowing what I had to do. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper watching me, causing Edward to look at me. I stood up hurriedly as the room stared at me.

"Carlisle, can I borrow Edward for a moment?" I asked as politely and quickly as I could. Carlisle simply nodded. I excused myself as Edward followed me out the front door and nearly chased me through the yard. I reached the edge of the woods before Edward's strong hand grabbed mine and pulled me to a stop.

"Bella, what is going on?" He asked, worry flowing through his facial expression.

"Could Tanya ever hide her thoughts from you?" I whispered, looking over my shoulder.

"Never, but you know that... What is it?" He pressed.

"I know how to end this." I whispered seriously and paranoid.

"End what, Bella?" He asked slowly, carefully.

"End _this! _I can stop this whole Jacob and Tanya mess. We can get on with our life, Edward!" I whispered, less secretively, but just as powerful.

"What are you talking about? What could we do that Carlisle and Sam haven't discussed?" His voice was growing slightly impatient, but remained worried.

"Edward, you and Carlisle said it! You both said that the only time Tanya's guard was down was when she found you. Well, the only way we can end this is if Jacob finds me. If he thinks that I'm vulnerable enough, he will attack, except this time I will be ready." I explained quickly, hoping he would understand.

"Bella, he will know instantly if anyone from the family or pack is nearby." He countered.

"That's why I would go alone." I rebutted. Edward's eyes grew almost cold and darkened in color and his strong hand only gripped mine tighter, to the point that if I were human, my bones would be crushed.

"I will not let you walk into a battle alone with that macabre of a monster. I promised you one too many times that I wouldn't let you get hurt and each time you got hurt anyway and I'll be damned if you think that I will let you walk in vulnerable like that." He hissed through his teeth. I had hardly ever seen Edward this angry and it was never directed at me. I didn't back away.

"Edward, if we want to end the running, this is the only way." I pressed further. He closed his eyes and with his free hand pressed his forefinger and thumb against the bridge of his nose and pinched, trying to relieve pressure.

"Isabella, you are my wife and if you are asking me to just let you get killed to save my family, whom are all capable of taking care of themselves, There is no way. I won't let you." He finalized. I pulled my hand out of his iron grip and his eyes flashed open as I slowly backed away from him, his eyes almost black.

"I didn't come out here for your permission, Edward," I hissed, "I came out here for your support." With that sentence I ran back into the house faster than I had since I ran from the monster I thought I was. As I neared the front door I swung the door open and grasped the frame for support as a slight case of vertigo filled my body. My body shook slightly from seeing Edward so angry and with my eyes closed I took deep breaths. I stood there for God knows how long until two strong, loving hands supported my waist, keeping me from falling. I gasped and turned around in his hands and stared at a calmer Edward. His eyes were now a soft, golden wheat and they stared down in a small, sad smile.

"I will always support you," He whispered as he bent over and kissed me chastely on the lips, only deepening it slightly. He and I pulled away slowly as he guided me from the door to the love seat. The entire room stared at us in blatant observation. Our family smiled at us as the pack looked upon us with slight disgust. I just shrugged as he and I sat down.

"Bella, may I ask what that was all about? It seemed rather urgent, is everything okay?" Carlisle's voice was always formal, but in a meeting with the pack it seemed to increase in formality. I looked to Edward, almost warning him that I was going to tell them, he only nodded sadly. I turned my attention back to Carlisle.

"I think I figured out how we can finish this." I said slightly unsure of myself. Carlisle's eyebrows raised in curiosity and slight skepticism. I wanted to back out of the whole idea I had. the whole room was waiting for me big epiphany. I curled into the couch slightly. Jasper looked at me wonderingly and I shook my head.

"We are at a loss on how to stop Jacob, would you mind sharing your idea?" Carlisle urged. I nodded.

"I, um, well, you said that the only time that Tanya or Jacob ever let their guard down was when they found either Edward or me, right?" I began nervously. Carlisle nodded, motioning with his hands for me to continue. I took a pointless deep breath and continued, "You also said that Jacob wouldn't stop until he had _his way_ with me," I said uncomfortably, everyone in the room stilled, "He wants me dead or his and there is no other option and unless he thinks he _has_ me, he won't just go away." I stated. Everyone shifted uneasily in their seats. I looked to Edward and he sat stony and gravely only inches away from me, staring at the floor. I turned back to the center of the room, avoiding all the staring faces that were waiting on my explanation.

"Bella, this is all true, but we have discussed all of this already..." Sam insisted trying to be sweet. "You said you had a way for us to finish this...?" Sam pushed further, trying to hurry this along. I stared at him blankly, trying to remember my point.

"Not a way for us to finish this, a way for _me_ to finish this." The room grew silent and everyone's stares were intense. "If I lure Jacob out of hiding and convince him that I'm vulnerable enough, he will attack me and I can finally end this and he will stop torturing this family." The eyes in the room filled with questions and the corresponding mouths took it upon themselves to ask every question and comment in rapid fire.

"Bella, Jacob was trained by _us_ to fight newborn vampires! You aren't trained at all. He will murder you in seconds." Jasper's voice was the first I heard.

"I won't be able to see you at all! You could end up dead and I won't ever see it!! Why would you do that?!" Alice's voice was next.

"It's suicide..." Rosalie whispered from her spot on Emmett.

"Do you really think you could take an maniac, young werewolf by yourself? Come on, Bella, you are smarter than that!" Sam shouted.

"If you go, I go, squirt. Don't you dare think that I'm not getting my hands on that mutt!" Emmett yelled.

"Please, don't do this, Bella. We couldn't stand to lose you again..." Esme's sweet, motherly voice said quietly. The room filled with each person rambling and shouting their opinion, trying to speak over the person next to them. I couldn't focus on all the voices so I just looked towards Edward, noticing how quiet he was. He hadn't moved since I looked at him last. His hands resting uneasily, his eyes fixed solidly on the floor and his face grim. I was about to turn my head from him when his head shot upwards, staring at Carlisle who was now standing.

"Quiet, everyone, quiet!" He instructed the room, waiting for silence. The room grew noiseless and awkward quickly, everyone staring at Carlisle waiting on him to tell me how wrong I was. Carlisle sat down beside Esme once again, only he sat on the edge of the seat pensively, staring at a spot on the wall behind Sam's head.

"Carlisle..." Alice whined, "Tell her how bad of an idea this is!" Carlisle remained thoughtful and quiet.

"This could actually work..." he finally said quietly. Alice stood up in protest as Jasper tugged her hand for her to sit back down. Rosalie was grasping Emmett's hand fiercely and Emmett mirrored the strong hold. Esme stared awe-struck by her husband and Edward's nearly shocked face was pointed at him. The wolves all sat staring at each other, not knowing the response they were to have.

"If Bella could get Jacob out of hiding, we could attack him easily." He said still thinking.

"No, _you_ can't." I rebutted. He looked at me with dismay. "If the pack is anywhere near us, he will hear them if he is changed, which he always is. If any one of you from the family is present, not only does Tanya have her clan nearby, Jacob will smell you. It can only be me." I finalized. Carlisle stood up and shook his head as he began to pace slowly.

"Absolutely not, Bella, you are family and you will not go into a fight alone." He countered.

"Edward needs to distract Tanya and if she has the resources she could easily have, she will be able to kill Edward in seconds unless you are all there to help. If you take care of Tanya, the pack will be able to follow my scent and track Jacob to where we are and if we time this right, I will only spend a few moments alone with him." I explained. I hadn't realized how much thought I had put into this in the last twenty minutes, but even I had to admit it was a decent plan. Carlisle's eyes where closed as he thought out the plan.

"Bella, a few moments is all it took for Jacob to attack me and nearly kill me." Jasper nearly whispered. Alice cuddled closer to Jasper and held tightly to him silently.

"Jasper, you weren't expecting it, I will be." I argued. Jasper nodded and held Alice to him whispering sweet, comforting nothings in her ear that only she could hear.

"Jasper is right, Bella." Carlisle said suddenly, opening his eyes. "We need assure ourselves that you have any ability to fight, to give you a chance against Jacob." I nodded slowly. Carlisle looked to Edward who sighed and nodded at one of Carlisle's thoughts.

"Bella," Edward said, speaking for the first time since we had gotten back, "After the pack leaves, I will take you to the field out back and Jasper and I will teach you how to fight." He said sadly. Jasper nodded silently.

"What if this doesn't work, Bella?" Sam asked nervously. Everyone's attention turned to him. "I mean, what if Jacob reaches you before they get rid of the leech- no offense- and we can't track you? I mean you would be dead in seconds and there would be nothing we could do to help you." Edward's chest shook slightly as a low growl rumbled through it.

"We will have to have a signal of some sort." I declared. Everyone nodded quietly.

"We need to go now, we should be back within twenty four hours. Will you all be ready by then?" Sam asked.

Carlisle walked forwards and grabbed Sam's outstretched hand, "Thank you for your help, Sam." He insisted as he escorted the pack to the door, waiting for them to pile out. I had twenty for hours to learn to fight well enough to fight a maniac werewolf that was trained specifically to kill vampires like me. The family sat quiet, all staring at me wondering how in the world I would react when I had the werewolf that had killed me and raped me attacking me again. I sat quietly, praying that I could have a peace of some sort with what I was about to do. I was waiting for something that would never come.


	44. Say The Word

_Hello, everyone!  
Thank you so much for your fantastic reviews as always!!_

_I apologize that this chapter was a bit later than I had expected. My beta is out of town until tomorrow, and I was on my own for editing it. If there are a few mishaps, feel free to PM me or leave it in a review, and I'll fix it. (Bit mishaps please, not something silly like there was a better word I could have used.)_

_I have typed all day today, and have two chapters lined up already. My Beta will be getting them tonight and I should be getting them back by tomorrow night._

_Thanks again for the loyal reviews. You guys inspire me to write more. And just because of your awesome reviews, this story will probably be about 6 or 7 more chapters, rather than three!_

_I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Read and Review. _

**_Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. The end._  
**

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Edward and I sat still on the love seat while the family all stood near us speaking quietly to each other about the newest plan. Within moments of sitting so motionless, I became lost in my own mind. Part of me was consumed by the fear and anxiety of the task at hand and the other part was full of anger and almost an excitement. I knew I wasn't a _monster,_ per say, but surely only someone, or something, with the tiniest bit of evil residing in them was the one waiting for a fight and picking it. Edward grabbed my hand noticeably tighter, causing me to jump slightly, pulling me out of my thoughts. He looked at me with sad, worried eyes and pulled me to my feet.

"Would you like me to teach you a little about fighting, or would you like someone else to?" Edward asked quietly.

"You, please." I said as sweetly as I could. I wanted to spend every moment from now until this fight with him. He nodded and began to guide me out to the backyard which was only a small clearing, leading to the woods. As we reached the center of the area, Edward's head turned to the porch where the family all stood.

"Do you mind?" He asked only loud enough for me to hear, referring to the family watching me. I shook my head, knowing that now wasn't the time to be shy. He nodded slowly as he closed his eyes, trying to think. He was so tense. I could hear the stress in his breathing. I stood very still, looking at him cautiously out of worry for him. He opened his eyes and nodded very noticeably, answering someone's thoughts.

"Bella, close your eyes." He told me. I opened my mouth to object, but closed my mouth and shut my eyes tight, not wanting to make him any more upset than he already was. I felt him slowly walking around me, watching me. I felt exposed and raw towards the family in a situation like this.

"When you fight, you have to be ready for anything. You have to listen to your surroundings, feel everything around you. You have to trust your instinct and act with your mind. You must do it quickly, powerfully, and precisely." Edward's voice sounded as if he was retelling a monologue he had memorized. "Listen to your surroundings." He instructed. I did as I was told and focused on what I could hear. Tiny heartbeats filled my head. Faded, far away, large heartbeats stuck out. Venom coated my mouth and a fire-like feeling burnt the back of my throat. I could feel my eyes turn darker and my breathing increase.

"Bella," Edward hissed, "Stop focusing on the animals and focus on what is around you right now. Listen to me, not my voice, but where I am. Where am I when I'm ready to attack? What does it sound like when I take a step or when I move my hands to hit you? I'm not going to hit you, but Jacob won't hold back. He will use every ounce of strength he has to kill you, and you can't let that happen." His voice was mechanical and serious. I wanted so badly to reach out and kiss him.

After he quieted, I focused on his movements. I could hear each step he took and I could hear his breathing. Every few moments he would move his hands so that he was mimicking the movements of a fist fighting through the air. I listened to everything and missed nothing. He picked up speed, now my hair whipped around my body gently in the circular direction he ran.

"He will move quickly, but no quicker than you can move and much slower than I move. If he is going to think you are vulnerable, attacking him instantly will be suicide. He will get too suspicious and kill you in seconds. He will taunt you first and make you suffer before trying to kill you." I could hear his voice shiver slightly. I wanted to hold him so badly. "You will have to attack him when he is ready to attack you, not before then." He instructed. "He will taunt you, just like this and you have to let him taunt you. Let him taunt you and be ready for when he begins to attack. You have to hit him and right now you have to hit me." I shook my head slowly, not opening my eyes.

"I don't want to hit you." I whispered for his ears only.

"You won't hurt me." He whispered almost harshly. He didn't want to do this; to be teaching me this. I felt the ghost of his hand touch my face as he ran by it.

"Think of what _he_ did to you. Let the anger fill you. Don't rationalize this. Picture yourself in the forest. He's surrounding you, telling you that he was right and that he is going to make you suffer before he attacks and he's going to taunt you. He will make you feel weak and if you're pretending to be vulnerable, he will feed on that. He will get into your head. You will be facing the monster who killed you. You can't hold back." He hissed, "Remember what he did to you." His voice wavered quietly.

Images of Jacob throwing me like a rag doll against a wall filled my mind. Jacob's savage expression staring down at me while he took the only innocence left of me. I saw Sam entering the garage after Jacob had left, his face shocked, scared and angry. I remembered lying in bed when Alice found me, laying catatonically, staring at Alice blankly as she called for Carlisle. I remember him rushing me to the hospital trying to find out what had happened. His expression pained as I showed him what Jacob did to me. I remembered hearing Edward fight with Carlisle because of me and his face when he saw me and how he ran when he found out what had happened. I saw myself sobbing into his chest for hours. The pain it had caused everyone around me filled my heart.

"Please, I can't..." I said so quietly that I wasn't sure if it even came out of my mouth at all. Everything I had worked so hard to get over and to put behind me all came to a head and was now being forced to my consciousness.

"You're weak.." He hissed. "You won't last five seconds." His voice taunted me, but it wasn't his voice. It was Jacob's. I could hear it. Deep down I knew it was Edward taunting me, provoking me to fight, but to my conscious mind it was the monster that killed me. I could feel him running around me. The hair whipping around me. I heard each foot touch the ground. Each step was another jeer at my sanity. Each inessential breath was provoking me. I heard his hand move backwards as he imitated the feel of a punch, but to me, it wasn't an imitation. It was a threat. My eyes shot open as I spun around to where he was standing and grabbed his hand from the air, pulling him from running anymore. I shouted in anguish as I saw Jacob standing there, not my angel, and with my palm open, I shoved it into his chest sending him flying through the clearing.

Cheers and claps from the family filled the air. As his body flew backwards, shock and almost a fear crossed his face and it wasn't Jacob anymore. It was Edward. I stopped breathing as he crashed through trees, snapping them at the base as he flew into them. The cheers stopped as I backed up slowly, shaking my head. The momentum slowed and he stopped himself and stood up slowly, leaning his head to each side as if to snap something back in place. I felt someone behind me, walking slowly and cautiously. They neared me and I felt their hand reaching towards my shoulder and I jerked it away.

"Don't touch me." I whispered and turned around to see a worried Alice and before the guilt could fill me from snapping at her, I turned back to see Edward running towards me.

"Bella-" She began.

"Please." I cut her off and looked to see an approving smile on the face of my angel. He ran to my side and was there in a few seconds. He reached out to touch my face but I turned it away. He opened his mouth to say something before looking up to his family. Carlisle ushered the quiet family all off the porch and inside. Edward and I turned face to face.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered inaudibly. He shook his head slowly and moved his hand to my cheek, where I flinched slightly at the contact. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I waited for the tears to well in my eyes, but it was a silly thing to wait for.

"You didn't hurt me." His voice was as quiet as mine as he leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my cheek on him and he pulled away. "Bella, what is it?" He asked as he pulled his hand from my face.

"I kept hearing him and seeing him. It wasn't you back there. I got so scared." I whispered as I moved towards him, craving a certain closeness. His arms wrapped around me loosely, holding me against him lightly enough that I could easily pull away.

"I wanted you to be ready for tomorrow, but I should have known that-" His voice was angry, but it was only directed towards himself.

"Edward, stop. It's going to be so much worse tomorrow, and we all needed to know that I can take care of myself. I just got scared." I tried to convince him otherwise. I hated hearing his voice full of any pain and this time I had caused it. This was my plan and I was the one that gotten scared.

"Bella, if you get scared tomorrow, he will kill you in seconds. I can't lose you, not again." He whispered against my hair. I pushed myself closer to him.

"You won't lose me." I whispered into his chest.

"You don't know that." He reminded me. "What if you aren't ready?"

"I'll have to be. It's now or never, Edward. You have to trust me to be ready." I begged him.

"I do, I trust you." He whispered. I nodded and he pulled me closer. "Besides, if you hit him like you hit me today, he won't walk for days." I looked up at him with apologetic eyes, but he was smiling down on me with the crooked smile I love. I smiled back at him insincerely as he pulled me against his strong chest. I snuggled closer against him and breathed in his scent. I didn't want to let go, but he pulled back slightly. I refused to pull away. His chest shook slightly with laughter.

"Carlisle is about to talk to the family, we need to go inside, love." He said quietly. I sighed and pulled away unwillingly and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kept me close to him as we walked at a normal pace to the front door and into the living room.

Everyone stared awkwardly at Edward and me, each person caught in a perpetual state of worry and excitement. Everyone's posture had changed drastically since this morning. No one was slouched against their significant other or into a couch or wall. Each person stood tensely, next to the love of their life, yet it hardly seemed it. Each couple holding hands, but the romanticism of the touch barely reached their faces. Edward and I stood near the front door that we had just entered. He stood behind me with his hands wrapped around me protectively. I looked around, wanting to see each couple without everyone staring in our direction.

Rosalie and Emmett both stood by the stair railing, both were stiff, and looked ready for a fight. Alice stood with her eyes closed in concentration and annoyance, sighing every few moments. Jasper stood near the couch he and Alice previously had claimed. He stared at Alice, and from the waves of contentment hitting me every few minutes I assume he was mentally begging her to relax.

The mood was tense and awkward, but when I looked to Carlisle and Esme, they both sat softly, Esme leaning into Carlisle, her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. Although the mood in the room was strained, Carlisle held his arm around her waist loosely yet lovingly, rubbing small circles onto her hand like Edward does to mine. Esme's face was peaceful, but there were impermanent worry lines on her otherwise perfect face. Carlisle moved his hand from around her waist to her hair to stroke it evenly and move it from covering her face before replacing his arm around her. The moment was so intimate that I wanted to look away and give them privacy.

Edward nudged me and as I looked up from the spot on the wall I had chosen, I saw that everyone was moving to sit down after Carlisle had gestured for them to do so. Edward moved from behind me and took my hand in his as he led us to the love seat we possessed earlier. Everyone sat stiffly staring at the floor, silent. It was rare for the family to be so quiet. I shifted in my seat anxiously.

"If we are going through with this plan, we need to discuss what is going to happen." Carlisle's voice rang out as Esme's eyes fluttered open slowly. I jumped slightly in my seat from the sudden break in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small smile playing on Edward's lips as he held my hand tightly in his.

"According to what we discussed earlier, Edward will have to distract Tanya, correct?" Carlisle asked me. I nodded meekly. As much as I had input into this plan, I didn't want the responsibility of the family lying in my hands. "Edward and Bella, you both will need to stage some sort of fight. If Tanya really does have anyone from the Clan watching, they will need to see this to be certain that this isn't a show." I already knew this and I'm certain of how it would happen, so I just nodded again.

"Edward will find Tanya first, and if her guard does let down, Alice will be able to focus more clearly on her and tell us where her and Edward are. Edward, don't attack Tanya until you are certain part of the family is near. If anyone from the Denali Clan is waiting for Tanya's cue, you will be easily outnumbered. They are just as loyal as we are." Carlisle stated and Edward didn't respond. He had no intention of waiting to attack.

"Bella," Carlisle's attention shifted to me, along with the rest of the room's, "Do not attempt to find Jacob on your own unless you are sure Tanya has let her guard down. You will need a signal of some sort."

"Smoke," I said simply. Carlisle stared at me quizzically. Each face was staring at me confused. "When you attack Tanya, do you intend to let her go?" I asked. The room remained silent.

"No," Edward finally responded honestly. "No, she won't be let go." Rosalie opened her mouth to object, but shut it quickly. Edward looked at her almost smugly.

"When you _kill_ her," I began uncomfortably and the room became stiff, "You will have to burn her and the flames are distinguishable. That will be the signal. The only way to be sure her guard to be down is to assure her to be incapable to have the power in the first place." I stated. I felt so cruel speaking like I was. I was talking about someone's death so easily, so nonchalantly. _I'm not a monster. _The small phrase repeated in my head.

"That makes sense..." Carlisle said after thinking about it for a few moments. I nodded slowly and looked at the floor, regretting what the family had to give up because of me. Edward released my hand and I nearly gasped at the loss of contact before he pulled his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him and he began rubbing small circles in my back, relaxing me. I rested my head on his shoulder nearly mirroring Esme.

"Edward will be back by all of us, seeing as how we have nearly equal numbers to their clan, and the pack will protect Bella from Jacob." He declared. Edward stiffened, knowing that none of the family will be near me. Even I tensed at the idea. I thought back to when I was convinced that Sam only saved me to continue the fate of what Jacob had started. A shiver trailed down my back, resting at my lower back where Edward's hands continued it's ministrations on my back.

"And finally, we all need to be sure to hunt before we go, Sam and the pack will be back here within twenty hours. I suggest we all go in pairs or groups. At this point, we can't risk the possibility of an attack." Carlisle concluded. Everyone nodded as they stood up and went in opposite directions. Rosalie and Emmett ran through the opened front door to go hunting. Alice retreated to her room silently, arms crossed, and an exasperated Jasper followed. Carlisle stood up elegantly and offered a hand for Esme. She took it gracefully and they walked slowly to their bedroom.

Edward and I were left in a silent, peaceful room. My head still rested on Edward's shoulder and he continued rubbing circles into my lower back. I lifted my head up and moved slowly to stand up, instead he stood up quickly and cradled me, carrying me to our room at a sickening speed. I looked at him, trying to decide why he did what he just did.

"I needed to be alone with you." He finally muttered as he sat me on the bed and climbed on next to me. He pulled me close to him, holding me safely against his chest. Nothing could pull me from this moment.

"Edward..." I whispered against his chest, breathing in his scent, hoping for the calming scent of Edward in vain. The scent of him only made me dread the coming fight even more dreadful.

"Yes, Bella?" He whispered back against my hair. I remembered what I wanted to say to him, but I fought internally if I should even say it. "What is it, love?" He whispered slowly pulling away to see my face. I pulled him closer, grasping at his shirt.

"I'm scared..." I mumbled quickly into his shirt, quietly. He stiffened and stopped all movement. I held my breath waiting for a response. He moved away and I whimpered at the loss of him. He was staring down into my eyes, painfully honest.

"Say the word, Bella." He said. I stared at him in confusion, not knowing what he meant. "Say the word, and we will leave. We'll pack up and we will all move away. You can pick any place in the world, anywhere at all. He won't find us." He insisted. His eyes were so serious.

"We can't run from this; I won't." I whispered. He closed his eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. He shook his head and pulled me against his chest again. I pushed us as close as we could get. The silence filled the room. The intimacy of the moment was beyond words and beyond emotions. The safety of his arms, in his room, was a safety I never wanted to end.


	45. The Last Interaction

_Welcome Back to my story!_

_Thanks so much for liking this story enough to keep reading it, even 45 chapters later._

_The reviews are flooding in and I get so excited when I read them. You guys are like my personal applause track. (You know, like on tv when they have the 'audience' clap, but it's really just a recording to make people feel good...)  
_

_This chapter does have a lemon in it, but I will point out where it is so you can skip it if you want to. _

_Keep up the great reviews! The next chapter is halfway done!!_

_**I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own Twilight... The End.**_

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The world turned black around us as the sun set. I refused to look at the clock, not wanting to be tempted to begin to count the hours until _it_ would happen. I knew I had to do this, I had to end this for my family, but every part of me seemed to scream in protest. My mind told me to run, and my heart told me to keep my family safe. _Fight or Flight. _

I fought the way my legs would twitch in anticipation every time I thought about running just as Edward had suggested. Edward watched me warily as I would close my eyes and remember why I was doing this. My breathing would hitch when I saw his sadistic face and Edward would hold me closer; unsure of what I was thinking, but knowing the closeness was the only thing he could do to help.

_Say the Word, _he said, _Say the word and we'll leave. _The words played over and over in my head. If I said the word, then what? We run? We run and keep running constantly, never having a moment of peace; looking over our shoulders forever more? No, I couldn't do that to my family. I would _never _do that to my family.

Hours passed as the sky turned dark, mirroring the atmosphere for the room. Edward stroked my hair softly and hummed a song I hadn't heard before. Each note filled me with the tiniest bit of sorrow that I wouldn't be able to sleep in his arms again. I missed that feeling of total security and being able to fall asleep to that. But, it was a small thing to sacrifice to be with him forever. The silence of the room kept me secure and created a somewhat safe place that I never wanted to leave. Edward shifted beside me, creating a certainty that the silence would be broken soon. In the distance, an old grandfather clock's chimes rang through the house. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as he broke the silence with a whisper.

"We need to hunt." He softly whispered his statement so that I strained to hear it. I nodded and moved my legs over the side of the bed. I pushed myself from the side of the bed and headed towards the closet to change. I found a pair of dark wash blue jeans and a black t-shirt with small designs along the hem of the shirt. I walked out of the closet to see a changed Edward waiting patiently by the door; arms crossed, eyes looking towards the floor. His head raised as I neared him, his angelic face full of sadness and love. As I drew closer to the door Edward stepped in front of me, preventing me from going any further. I focused on the door behind him, refusing to look into his eyes.

"Bella," He said softly, startling me and causing me to gaze directly into his golden eyes. His eyes trapped me, dazzling me as much as when I first realized how much I loved him. "Before we leave, we need to discuss how we will go about finding Tanya and Jacob. They will need to know the same story. It has to be believable." My spirit sank further into the ground. I nodded.

"I know," I responded simply. "We have to make a scene." My voice was nearly inaudible.

"Yes, and I believe I know how to do it." He said, almost bitterly. He wanted to do this less than I did. "I'll have to leave you for Tanya. That gives me an excuse to find Tanya, and it leaves you vulnerable." His voice was emotionless. I stopped breathing.

"It will be like before..." I stated; it wasn't a question. My head bowed, and I closed my eyes. I felt him take my hands in his as he held them tightly. I didn't know if I could bear that again, even though I knew that it was fake.

"It won't be like before. I told you that I would never leave you again, and I will _not _break that promise. We _will_ be together again, and you and I both will know that. Bella, this will be hard enough for us to do, but you have to believe and remember that it's not real, not this time." He whispered as he stepped closer to me so that his chin rested on the tip of my head. I took in his smell; this time letting it calm me.

"I love you..." I whispered. He pulled away, and I looked up to him nervously. His eyes stared down at me seriously and lovingly. A sad smile played on his lips, and his eyes sparkled in the moonlight breaking in from the window.

"Oh, Bella," He sighed as he released one hand to caress my cheek with his. I leaned into his hand, closing my eyes. "I love you, too, more than you can imagine."

I sighed as he used his hand to pull my face closer to his, colliding our lips in a passionate, yet gentle kiss. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, causing a shiver to run down my spine as I whimpered lightly into his lips as I granted access by parting my lips slightly. He released my hand and moved his hand from my face down to hips, trailing them up my sides, under my shirt slowly peeling it off. I moaned as his hands brushed against my chest, causing my back to arch ever so slightly. I moved my hands to the hem of his shirt and slipped it off him, using the same time he had used when pulling my shirt off. His hands trailed down my bare sides down to my hips again as he pushed them delicately over to the bed, bending me over it as he pulled the blue jeans from my legs gently and smoothly. I unbuttoned his jeans between kisses and fumbled with the tightening fabric before he kicked them off himself.

_(Authors Note: This is where the Bella begins, and this whole paragraph is the lemon. Just skip to the next paragraph if you want to skip the lemon!)_

A moan rang through the room as he rubbed perfect circles into my stomach, causing my back to arch off the bed. He used the loss of contact from the bed to tear off the remaining clothing on me before I touched back to the bed. I tore off his boxers, and his mouth trailed from my mouth to my neck, sucking gently leaving trails of kisses everywhere on my neck and shoulders. I fought to stay grounded as he entered me lovingly, carefully. Each movement he made sent me flying and each moan from me mirrored an identical one from Edward's perfect lips. The moment was so tender, so loving. It was different from before. He was so gentle, so passionate. It wasn't lust; it was love. As we both reached our peaks moans filled the room, and seemed to echo through the house. Edward collapsed above me, and I welcomed the closeness of him. The sound of the clock from the living room once again rang through the house, signifying that it had been an hour since Edward and I had originally set out to hunt. Edward looked down on me and cleared a stray lock of hair from my face before brushing his hair from his eyes and rolling over onto the bed, still caressing me.

"We really should go hunting, now." I whispered after a long silence. Edward nodded and got up from the bed and began shuffling through drawers, looking for new undergarments, and a new shirt, where I had ripped the seam on his other one. I stood up slowly and walked slowly to the closet; thankful I didn't have to find a new bra. I changed into a similar outfit as before and walked out to see a content looking Edward. I neared the door, and he reached out and caught my hand and pulled me closer for a chaste kiss before leading me out the door. I ran my hand through my hair to get out the last minute tangles, and I walked slowly down the stairs with Edward and his already perfect hair.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and each couple of the household stood, each with slightly messy hair and a new romanticism between them. I was sure I had Jasper to thank for the recent activities, but I kept my mouth shut, positive that it wasn't something he had done purposefully and no one in the family seemed to mind.

Silently we all left out the front door and each went in similar, but different directions as we all went to hunt, sticking with our significant other, praying that this wouldn't be the last interaction we had with them.

--

After hunting for little over an hour and drinking until we were filled to the brim, Edward and I went back home and waited in the living room with the rest of the family. The family all remained silent, except for the moments when someone would whisper to their love so quietly no one could hear other than they. Edward and I were quiet the entire time. I sat to the right of Edward, and his hand rested over mine, which lay tenderly on my thigh. My head rested against his shoulder softly, fitting perfectly. I fought myself to not close my eyes, since every time I did, Edward's emotionless, unattached face pierced the darkness behind my eyelids. The face that Edward allegedly feigned as the told me he didn't love me anymore. My breathing would hitch, and Jasper's attention would focus on me, and Edward would kiss the top of my head lightly, trying to reassure me.

"It's not real this time." He would whisper. I would nod, and my eyes would shoot open after seeing the disdain in his eyes. Carlisle and Esme sat quietly just as they had before, and the rest of the family all remained seated where they had been before. We all stared at the floor in anticipation of the fight to come. Emmett sat almost excitedly. Out of all the Cullen's, he loved a fight the most. Rosalie looked regretful. She was close to Tanya and a few other members of the Denali clan. Rosalie and I still weren't best friends, and I was almost positive she would resent me for being the reason she has to be a part of Tanya's death. Alice remained focused and frustrated as she tried to see any piece of the future that might help depict the outcome of today. Jasper seemed overwhelmed with emotion, and I couldn't blame him. Edward sat pensively and grimly staring at the floor. The grandfather clock struck noon loudly, causing everyone to jump slightly in their seats, almost defensively; everyone except Alice and Edward.

In the distance, I could hear four sets of legs running through the forest, and from the sound of it, they weren't small. The pack was on their way and Carlisle stood up, sliding out of Esme's grasp and kissing her compassionately before opening the door as the pack arrived on the porch. The pack entered silently; Sam nodded in greeting. We all responded with a similar nod, no one breaking the silence. The pack stood in a small huddle, facing the family. Their breathing was barely hitched, though they had just run from a small town near Anchorage. Esme stood up just as silently as Carlisle had sat down and she walked briskly into the kitchen and returned with a tray full of large glasses of ice water and offered them to the pack, each member taking their water and downed their own glass. Sam muttered a 'Thank you' to Esme as she placed the tray that still held a pitcher of water for refills onto the end table beside the pack. She nodded politely and sat down beside Carlisle again. Sam stepped forward, placing his empty glass onto the table and stepped forward towards Carlisle. He pulled a local map out of his back pocket and him and Carlisle both moved towards the round table in the center of the room, spreading the map out. Sam pushed his finger into the map and drew a line around a part of it, tracing where the pack had sensed Jacob.

"We circled this area, and this is were the scent dropped. It's nearly a perfect circle." Sam stated. Carlisle nodded and stared contemplatively at the map.

"Edward, Bella," Carlisle addressed us, looking up at us, and motioned us both over. Edward and I walked briskly over to the table and stared down at the map. "We're right here," Carlisle stated as he pointed to a detailed section labeled _Willow Creek_. "The scent that the pack picked up is along this line," Carlisle reached over and grabbed a pen from the table, drawing a circle along the map. "Edward, you will need to stay on the outskirts of this line. You must lure Tanya as far from the opposite side as possible. Bella, you will need to stay along the outskirts as well, but on the exact opposite side of the area. Sam," He changed his attention to him, "Was there a specific place that Jacob's smell was the strongest?" Sam nodded.

"Here," He pointed and drew a smaller circle with his finger along the edge of the drawn circle. "That was where he last was outside the circle." Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. His attention turned back to Edward and me.

"Have you two discussed a story the two of you will use?" He asked us. Edward nodded solemnly, refusing to say the plan again. Carlisle looked to us to explain, but Edward remained adamant.

"Edward and I will stage his leaving me, again. He'll be leaving me for Tanya, and it will give Tanya an excuse to find him, and it will give me a reason to be vulnerable." I explained. He nodded.

"Very well," He muttered. Carlisle shook his head and Edward looked up at him, seemingly begging him to understand why this was the only way to do this. Carlisle seemed to argue the situation in his mind. Edward didn't let anything slip in his face, it remained perfectly composed. I sighed in frustration, wanting in on the silent conversation.

"Edward, you will go along this side of the area. Search for Tanya. If she thinks you are looking for her for a reason other than to attack her, she will leave a trail for you and will reveal herself to you. We will wait for you here," He pointed to spot on the map a few miles from the outline of the circle. "Alice, you will alert us when we should move towards Edward." Edward and Alice both nodded.

"Bella," Carlisle called, I looked up quickly. "You will slowly walk towards the area, vulnerably. Do not near the area until you see the smoke raising. There is a large possibility that Jacob will leave the protection of Tanya when he learns about the fight and if this is the case, we will need members from the pack in the surrounding area. Here, here, here, and here." His finger poked four places on the map all leading from Willow Creek to the circle.

"Sam, I trust that each of you will remain phased?" Carlisle asked. Sam nodded. "Perfect, then you will be in constant contact." Sam nodded again. I could only imagine him having to take out his second in command. As hard as this was for me, this had to be torture for him. "If he is not phased, and you cannot hear him, if any of you hear Bella scream or hear Jacob, you will be immediately alerted." Carlisle was thinking aloud, but the pack continued to nod, remaining quiet. Carlisle nodded to himself and stepped from the map.

"All that is left is for the pack to get in position and for Bella and Edward to stage their fight." Carlisle declared quietly. "Sam, you all have close to thirty minutes to get into positions, do you each remember where to go?" The pack's eyes pulled away from the floor and each of them looked at Carlisle regretfully and nodded. Each member stood up and walked towards the door, waiting for Sam. Sam walked towards the door, but as he passed me he stopped dead.

"Bella," He grabbed my arm to get my attention, causing me jump, "Bella, I just wanted you to know that I promise that we will do everything we can to keep you safe; no matter what." His voice was so tender, so pained. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. He tensed before hugging me back slightly and let go just as I did. He smiled at me sadly and walked towards the pack where they all took off running into the forest.

I turned back to Edward and leaned against him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his nose crinkle, avoiding the smell of werewolf on me.

"I forgot..." I mumbled. He smiled at me crookedly. The golden orbs pulled me into a deep fascination.

"You need to get cleaned up, Bella." Alice said quietly. I pulled my eyes from Edward's and looked around the room to see everyone missing. I opened my mouth to ask her where everyone went when she interjected, "They all went to change their clothes and they are on their way to where we will be waiting." Stupid, psychic sister.

"But, you need to get cleaned up. You smell like the pack, and Jacob will recognize it in a second." She said from her place against the railing of the stairs.

"Thanks, Alice." I said sweetly, and she smiled at me. Alice was always so bubbly, but not knowing what would happen in the upcoming battle really scared her. She smiled back at me before running up the stairs to her room.

"I really should go take a shower..." I told Edward, turning back to him. He frowned and let me go reluctantly after kissing me chastely on the lips and pushing me gently in the direction of the steps. I reached halfway up the stairs before his voice reached my ears.

"Bella?" He called out from the bottom of the stairs. I stopped quickly and whipped around to see him staring at me tragically from the bottom of the stairs. "Remember that whatever I say during our _fight_, it is all just words. Don't let it effect you, okay? Feign vulnerability, don't become it. I love you too much to mean anything I say during the dispute. No matter what I say, I will love you forever and we will see each other very soon afterwards." I felt my breathing hitch in my throat. I nodded slowly before turning around and slowly ascending up the stairs speechless.

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	46. Straight from a Horror Movie

_Hello, readers!_

_Thay you guys so much for keeping updated with my story. _

_Each review I have gotten has been so fantastic. Thank you so much! They really motivate me to write more._

_Next chapter is Edward's pint of view, and just to warn you, this is a major cliff hanger. And you will be stuck with it for two chapters. Haha. How much do you hate me_

_I had a harder time writing this than I thought I would. My friend showed me a picture of Jacob Black in the movies, and I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to imagine Sharkboy attacking and raping someone. It's just not right. Stupid casting..._

_It's so strange, I have been writing this story for a few months now and it is going to be horrible ending this. It won't feel right, but it has to be done. And it will, in about 5 chapters.  
Thanks for all of you being such loyal readers. You don't know how much it means to me!  
_

_Anyway, thanks so much for reading!! Review!_

**_D_**_**isclaimer: Yes.**_

* * *

The steam in the room bounced off my skin just like the walls. The chill of my skin rejected the warmth of the water. The water was heated as much as possible, but I remained numb to the steam. I closed my eyes, in hopes for a momentary escape.

I focused not on what would happen, but what was happening now. The sputtering of the water from the shower head, the splatter of the water crashing into the surrounding tile, the constant drizzle of water dripping down the drain, it all flooded into my head creating a rhythm to focus on other than the constant movements of thoughts and fears crushing me.

The rhythm cracked as the same grandfather clock that had haunted me for days rang out again.

_Twenty Minutes_, It seemed to taunt._ Twenty minutes until you face each of your biggest fears simultaneously. Twenty minutes until your family, once again, risks their lives for yours. Twenty minutes until the love of you existence is going to tell you that he doesn't love you, while you have to remember that it isn't true._

My eyes shot open and inhaled sharply. I quickly turned to face the shower knobs. My hand reached out into the air quickly, turning the water off too fast and too hard, resulting in the brass knob cracking and chipping off as it hit the hilt of the turn. I grabbed the towel hanging from the rack outside the shower and wrapped it around my sopping body. I wrenched my hands around my hair, wringing out the excess water before leaving the confines of the shower. I walked to the door and studied the mirror. In a matter of hours, the body I had always dreamed of having, will became a weapon; a weapon that at anytime could backfire and kill me. I closed my eyes again and took a deep and unsteady breath as my hand turned around the doorknob, opening the door to the room. I opened my eyes again, and standing against the door frame was Edward. I gasped at his presence and took an unconscious step back.

His hand shot into the air incredibly fast, as he placed it on my still glistening, wet cheek. I closed my eyes, and he caressed my face with his hand as I relaxed into it.

"Is everything all right, love?" He whispered. I scoffed lightly pulling my face from his hand and walked past him to the closet. "Bella, talk to me." He said softly. I reached the closet door and turned back to him; disbelief crossed my face.

"Edward," I said quietly, "We are about to pretend that you're leaving me again, and I have to go through the most painful thing I've ever been through again. Then, I have to wait for the monster that raped me and has haunted me for months to appear magically and I have to wait for him to attack me so that I can kill him." My voice reached a revolting octave, forcing me to take a deep breath in order to calm myself down.

He took a few steps towards me before I held out my hand, silently telling him that there was more, mirroring what he had done many times before. "It doesn't exactly help that my husband and every member of my family will be fighting for their lives against the same woman that has been trying to steal my life out from under me."

I took a deep breath, "No, Edward, everything is not _all right._" I was tired of this. I was sick of fighting, but even sicker of running. I collapsed into the door frame, bracing it for support to keep me from falling to the floor. Before I could even take a breath, Edward was standing in front of me with eyes desolate.

"Bella-" He said almost warningly. The words I had just spat on him played back behind my ears; the words still stung my mouth like fire in my throat. I instantly felt guilty.

"Edward, I-I didn't mean that. I mean, I meant it, I-I just didn't mean to explode on you like that. I-I'm sorry. I'm just stressed." I said, my eyes falling from his perfect and hurt eyes to the floor. He stepped closer to me.

"And I meant it when I said that all you had to do is just-" I couldn't hear it again.

"I know, Edward, just say the word." My voice even sounded exhausted. I pushed myself from the door frame and towards the closet and grabbed a matching set of undergarments and turned around with them still in my hand. "'Say the word, and we'll run.' I heard you, Edward, but we can't run. Don't ask me to keep running." I whispered. He ran forward, stopping a few inches from me. He moved the wet hair from my face and slid his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"I will never ask you of something you don't want to do." He whispered as he leaned in and kissed me romantically on the lips and pulled me to his chest, holding me. After a few moments he pulled away reluctantly.

"Carlisle's insisting I come downstairs to discuss last minute details." He explained sullenly. I nodded slowly, knowing the next time I see him, he will be different. He will be the man that stood in front of me that September night so long ago.

"Bella? Did you hear me?" He called. I focused on his face, rather than the spot on the wall I had chosen for some unbeknown to me reason. He smiled sadly.

"I told you that I love you, no matter what I say later, I will always love you." He whispered, and I nodded.

"I love you, too." I whispered back. His smile lightened. He reached his hand out again and used to pull me closer to him as he kissed me one last time. He pulled away and took off running, but before he could get away I grabbed his wrist, unwilling to let him go. He turned back to me smiling, but shocked.

"I wasn't done loving you." I whispered. He laughed lightly as I pulled him closer and kissed him, deepening the kiss as much as possible before he began to pull away slowly. I reluctantly let go of his wrist, and he took off running leaving a faint I love you behind in the air. I shook myself out of the trance he had left me in and began to get dressed, drying off along the way.

Ten minutes later I was dressed and ready to walk out of the room. I looked on the dresser that all of mine and Edward's wedding memorabilia sat. There was a picture of us laughing and smiling, a picture of the entire family, a picture of me with Renee and Charlie. My heart sank; knowing I might not ever see them again. I took a step towards the door, refusing to let myself look at the photos any longer. A glimmer of light reflected from the drawers and into my eye, making me to stop and look for the culprit. I looked down towards the stationary memories when I saw it. The locket, my locket, sat gleaming up at me. Edward had told me it was there and that he had removed it during my change. I reached out and snatched it, grasping the chain securely before placing it around my neck and fastening the clasp. I tucked the necklace under my shirt and walked slowly out the door and into the hall.

Alice and Jasper stood in their doorway, both watching me carefully. Alice broke free from Jasper's hold and dashed towards me, unexpectedly attacking me with a large hug.

"Kick the shit out of him..." She whispered in my ear as she pulled away. I saw a special glint in her eye, assuring me that if she were human, tears would be tracing her face. I nodded and smiled at her as she walked back towards Jasper. I looked at Jasper who was smiling sweetly, waiting for Alice's return.

"Watch yourself, Bella." Jasper said brotherly. I nodded and with as much stamina as I could, walked down the stairs. Out of the window, I could see Edward pacing on the front lawn. I walked towards the door, before a large hand stopped me. I jumped back and stared up at Emmett.

"Now isn't the time to be jumpy, squirt." He tried to joke. I laughed lightly. "He's lucky, you know, the mutt." He muttered. I stared at him incredulously. He smiled, and I felt lost. "If that dog was up against me, he wouldn't just pay for what he did, he'd pay interest." He laughed at his own joke and smiled down at me. I laughed at his attempt at keeping the atmosphere light and wrapped my small arms around his neck, almost taking refuge from what was getting ready to happen. He wrapped his arms around and mimicked my action, only squeezing so tight that if I were human, bones would be crushed. I laughed and squeezed him with equal force, causing him to yelp loudly and pull back, rubbing his neck. I laughed, meaning every bit of it.

"Do me a favor?" Emmett asked. I nodded at him quizzically. "Make him suffer." He begged. My smile dropped. I just nodded and turned to find a newly arrived Rosalie. She walked from the stairs towards Emmett and me with less swagger and haughtiness than usual.

"Do me a favor, too?" She asked. I nodded, waiting for her to finish, but she didn't. Instead she rushed forward, hugging me tighter than she ever had. My hands hung lamely at my sides before I hugged her back, taken back by the action.

"Get a good punch in for me?" She said, still keeping a tight grip on me. I nodded as she pulled away. "I mean a really good punch. Just imagine one of Emmett's jokes about your sex life with Edward, and punch the mutt even harder, okay?" She asked. Her face still portrayed an angel, but her words bordered on devilish. I smiled and nodded and moved towards the door as she and Emmett retreated to the couches.

I sighed and turned the handle to the door, letting the creaking of the door last as long as it could. I stepped out onto the porch and refused to look at the alternate version of my angel and looked around for Carlisle or Esme; neither one to be found. I looked up to where Edward anxiously walked back and forth, breathless. He looked up, his gaze meeting mine. I gasped and took a step back. His eyes were filled with nearly the same hatred and distaste that had filled the so many months ago.

"Y-you wanted to talk?" I asked, stumbling slightly as I walked down the few steps towards Edward. He stopped moving and stared at me bitterly. His eyes dark, even though we had just hunted.

"This was a mistake. Your little puppy friend was right." I stopped breathing. T_hey're only words._ Those few words were smothered by his now loathing voice. "You aren't what I thought you would be. You are more boring than I ever imagined you could be. I can't stay with you anymore."

"T-the family..." I muttered. I knew my arguments were supposed to be deeper than a few mumbled words. I was supposed to be pretending that his words hurt me while knowing he meant none of it, but even feigned words cut through my already-broken confidence.

"The family agrees with me. You should leave." He spat.

"Edward, d-don't do this..." I begged. _It's a show, a trick, _I told myself repetitively, and it hardly worked. I remembered what to say, but something inside me was slowly chipping away; my foundation was cracking.

"It's done. All your belongings are technically mine, so you won't be needing them." He waved his hand, as if dismissing me. I stepped back, caught off guard from his ability to pull this off so convincingly.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked in a forced whisper. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter to you; it doesn't change anything. Truth is, you are weak. Your hunting is awful. That little training session yesterday was pitiful. You can't hold yourself together all because of a stupid dog. You are weak. After seeing Tanya and thinking about it, she was right. She isn't weak like you. Besides, she and I always had such a beautiful spark between us." His voice was full of hatred for me. I stood there amazed slightly that the sky wasn't dark and there weren't trees surrounding us, his voice and his face mirrored that night so perfectly.

"You said you loved me." I tried pathetically. Part of me was just spitting out phrases I had mulled over until he would run away, letting me break down to myself and wait for the mutt to show up so I could kill him for doing this to me.

"It was all a lie. I loved the challenge. You were such an interesting project, such a great pet. Now you aren't anything new to me. You are just like the rest of them." The words rang out, and I had a hard time believing that they were still only words. "I'm leaving to find Tanya now. If you are still here when I return, you can expect someone to force you out." I fell backwards slightly, catching myself on the banister.

"You... don't... want me..." I repeated those horrible words from so long ago. My voice was supposed to be some copy of hurt and fear, but it was blatant that it wasn't an imitation anymore. The cold, expressionless voice of his was so easily mustered.

"I love you, Edward. Please, don't do this." I choked out, fighting the sobs shaking my body lightly. His act dropped momentarily. I saw the passion in his eyes, but not enough to help me back to reality. His eyes flashed back to the emotionless orbs that had rested there before.

"It's already done." He hissed seemingly annoyed.

"Don't you love me?" I asked quietly. He stepped backwards slowly, dramatically.

"I hate you, Isabella Swan." I gasped and slid into the banister further, using it to slid down onto the steps. I could hardly remember a time he had used my maiden name. Not even when we were engaged did he use that name. A sob shook my body as he turned smoothly on his heel, running off into the forest, but stopping before he reached the edge of the yard, he turned back, looking at me harshly.

"The mutt was right, you really are as useless and as much of a hassle as he said." A sob escaped my lips as he turned quickly and ran into the forest, just as planned. This show we had planned was hardly a show at all. It was a memory; a violent and dark memory.

_It's pretend, Bella. It's only pretend._ The logical side of me echoed through my head before the emotionally crushed voice countered it.

_He's gone. He left again. Jacob was right; you are worthless._ The voice echoed through my head, sending a new wave of sobs through my body. The logical side still refused to let me crack much further. My head dropped to my knees as I pulled them closer to my chest, taking deep breaths as I heard doors open along all sides of the house; the kitchen door, the back door, and the front door. I felt a hand on my shoulder as someone whipped by me. I didn't look up. I knew I was being foolish. One last wave of self assurance pushed through me before the rustling of running stopped. I pulled my head from my knees, and the whole family had run off to the place where they were to wait for their cue. I stood up slowly, regrettably, and pushed myself to a corner of the deck, resting on the railing.

I refused to focus on the words that had been said. They were for show, for effect. I fought to convince myself of this. The reality of his words could be written off to emotion overload, to memory. That is all it was.

Minutes passed, my mind only whispering Edward's harsh words into my mind, leaking them in like poison. Nearly an hour had passed, the old clock rang through the house and the yard startling me. As I jumped, I moved to the stairs and began moving towards the forest slowly, following Carlisle's instructions and making my way slowly until I saw the distinctive smoke. I walked almost aimlessly, arms crossed around my chest holding me together, towards the area we had all mapped out. The words still echoing in my mind, making me to feel as vulnerable as I was supposed to be pretending to be.

Bushes rustled behind me, causing me to turn sharply on my heel and my hands to fly down to my sides. _Not here, not yet._ Edward's voice rang through my memory and his perfect; loving face flashed behind my eyes. 

_Listen,_ his voice whispered in my mind. I kept my eyes closed and stopped listening for Edward's voice and listened to my surroundings. Small heartbeats fluttered through the woods and the sound of birds' wings soaring through the wind, catching the current.

_Focus closer,_ the voice reminded me. Heartbeats of animal's closer to me, small ones. There was no breathing, no heartbeat. There was no one. I opened my eyes again slowly, half of me expecting a scene straight out of a horror movie and for Jacob to be standing there, breathless, lifeless, only inches away from me. I felt my breath hitch as I thought about it further. My breath settled to normal as my eyes opened fully, and I remembered how absurd the idea was.

I began walking again, trying to mimic a somewhat vulnerability. I thought back to the scene Edward, and I had just made, the exposed feeling rushing back to me. I fought to remain composed at all. I needed to see Edward, to be sure it was all an act. I picked up speed slightly, making my way towards the place Jacob was supposed to be. My speed remained slow. I saw a clearing up ahead, and picked up speed, deciding that would be a decent place to wait for the signal rather than running aimlessly until then.

I relaxed slightly at the idea of waiting for something. Or at least, I did until a gust of wind blew my hair forwards, nearly pushing me down as a flash of skin tone flesh and long black hair flew by me, causing my breathing to stop as the sound of the large heartbeat filled my ears along with his own rapid breathing. The smell of him resembled that of the pack, but amplified and horrible. I fought the urge to scrunch my nose.

"What? You aren't running from me, are you?" His harsh, hot breath still sent shivers down my spine, although he had stopped at least three feet away. His heartbeat throbbed in my ears; fear crawled all over me. I had to keep him here, I had to let him taunt me, let him think he won. At least, until the flames stained the sky.

"Y-You were right," I sobbed, the sobs real, the excuse was a lie. "You were right about everything, Jake, he left me again. He told me he didn't love me." His scary front slipped slightly as he took a step forward, not menacingly, but protectively. I instinctively took a step back, looking deep into his eyes. Somewhere trapped in there was my Jacob, and I could see him more than I had seen him since he left after the big fight. I fought my body that so badly wanted to reach out and touch him.

"Jake," I whispered, "Say something, please. I'm so sorry for everything. You were right; I should have chosen you. Edward only wanted to hurt me again." I sobbed in fear and in hopes to finding my best friend behind the mask of a killer. "I want you, Jake, I want to be yours." My voice was so quiet; I choked to keep it above a simple breath.

He stepped back fiercely, growling menacingly in the process. The soft eyes that had resided on his face before, now turned hard and cold. I prayed he was buying it. _Let him think he won,_ played constantly behind my ears.

"Bella," He said softly; part of me almost believed him to be slowly realizing how wrong this all was. I relaxed slightly as he stepped forward. "Bella, Bells, _Isabella fucking Swan_," he repeated all of the names and hissed the one. I stared up into his eyes in confusion, his attitude changed every few seconds.

"You don't really expect me to believe any of your pathetic lies," He paused and laughed threateningly. "Do you?" His voice curved the question in such a way that made me nauseous and weak.

"Jacob, please, I'm sorry, I need--" A rip spilled across my face as a deafening crash rang through the forest as the back of his hand pounded into my face. I nearly screamed as the feeling of the skin slowly pushing itself back together stung every inch of my face, instead I whimpered as Jacob stepped forward again. I stepped back again and backed into a tree, with Jacob's large body overshadowing me.

"What, the big, bad, new, and improved Bella can't take a punch?" He taunted. I expected this. I watched his face, searching for a thread of Jacob. His sweet face was possessed by a horrible monster, but somewhere I still saw my best friend.

"Jacob, don't do this..." I begged, hoping that he would come to his senses.

"Don't do what, Bella? This?" He taunted, I braced for impact as his left hand flew at my face, this time his hand balled into a fist as it collided with my face. I shouted in pain.

"Jacob, don't!" I screamed. The skin was once again ripped, sending new waves of pain. Another fist flew into my stomach, his fist remaining in my what I thought was a rock solid stomach, lifting me into the tree, leaving me powerless and suspended in air. I gasped for air I didn't need.

"What are you gonna do, Bella? Are you gonna punch me? Are you gonna cry some more? Your little lover seems to be a bit preoccupied to help you now." I looked down at him, not knowing what he meant, or how he knew. He nodded in the direction of the sky. Clouds of purple smoke filled the air. My breathing hitched. He thought that it was Edward's body being burnt, but his heightened senses didn't catch what I caught in the air. The scent of revenge filled my mind. I felt a glimmer of hope slide into my spirit as Jacob stared up at me, looking at me angrily.

"Do you want me to end your pathetic existence? Is that what you want, Bella? Because I won't. I will take what I want, again, before I decide to end your weak attempt at life." I shook my head slowly, the look of hope fading from my face. A slap hit my face, cracking the skin again. I screamed again, letting the pain sink into my face, though I knew if this continued, the pain now was hardly a comparison to how this would end.

He threw me down to the ground easily, my small frame still making it easy to treat me like a rag doll, tossing me around at his expense. He pounced on top of me before I could move, pinning my arms to my sides and my legs to the ground. I felt helpless and exposed as he tore at my clothes, ripping my shirt off, and ripping the tank top I wore underneath in the process. He growled angrily as he became impatient and moved to my pants ripping off the belt, breaking the small buckle on it. Images flashed through my mind. The dirt and rocks of the garage scraping my back as he pushed in and out of me, ripping me, and tearing me, leaving blood all over me, all over the ground around me. His heated body hitting me, slowly trying to kill me flashed through my mind.

"What's this? A _gift?_" He hissed, pulling me from my thoughts. His hands floated above my chest, toying with the gold locket that had meant so much.

"Don't touch that," I warned, hissing the words between waves of pain. He smiled at me, challenging me to do something. He laughed at my weakness and pulled the locket from my neck, snapping the chain in half, breaking it. I cried out, begging him to stop. He laughed and threw it as hard as he could, into the depths of the endless trees.

I shouted in anguish, refusing to let this happen again. He looked at me, hostility pulsing through his eyes. He growled as he shoved his hand into my mouth, keeping me from screaming. I choked on his hand that was shoved down my throat, and thrashed like mad under his caustic grip. He laughed the most hideous, horrifying laugh, causing me to let out a sob in fear. I had let my family down.

I closed my eyes as I lay there, with only a small tank top on and left in my underwear where he had stopped last. A picture of Edward flashed across my mind and all I wanted to do was apologize to him. Just once, just one last time. A scream echoed through the forest, a blood chilling scream that didn't come from someone from the Cullen's. The scream triggered something in me, and I realized that it couldn't end like this; It wouldn't end like this.


	47. With Teeth Bearing

_Hello, wonderful readers!_

_Thank you so much for the hundreds of reviews I've been getting. I don't know how to thank all of you. If I could buy you all a Coke, I would. You guys are fantastic, keep up the great work!_

_Okay, so this chapter has been postponed for a week because of my awful writer's block. It's been horrible! It doesn't help that I'm nearing the end of this story and there is a special reluctance of finishing the story. Because of the awful delay, I made this chapter the longest chapter I've ever posted. It's exciting, right? I can feel the tension._

_This is almost a cliff hanger, but not really. Bella's cliffhanger from chapter 46 still stands! (Don't you hate me?) It's EPOV of Bella and Edward's fight and also of Tanya.  
_

_The end of this chapter is pretty...intense...? I don't know if that's the right word. Let's just say it's not PG. But, I guess that's why this is a M story! You have been warned, so don't get all upset when you cringe. Heheh._

_Feedback really helps me out; ideas, comments, corrections, praise. Help a girl out! Leave a review!_

_**Disclaimer: Remains the Same**_

* * *

"Don't ask me to keep running." Her voice was agonized and tormented. I held my breath as I darted toward her sending her wet hair whipping into her face and remaining there. I reached out to touch her face after stopping no more than an inch from her. I outstretched my hand towards her face, pushing the sopping hair from her face, resting my hand on her face after the hair was no longer in the way. She closed her eyes as she relaxed into my hand, letting my hand caress her cheek. Her face looked so tired and so weary, I just wanted to run away with her and put this all behind us, even if it was impossible. If she hadn't refused, we would have been on another continent.

"I will never ask you of something you don't want to do." I whispered, inching closer to her face as she continued to breath into my palm. I pulled her face forward, meeting mine in a loving kiss that forced her to lean into the kiss.

_Edward, there are details that need to be finalized. Would you mind meeting me upstairs in the office?_ Carlisle's thoughts rang out in my mind. I began to pull away from Bella who looked up with hurt eyes, causing me to instantly resent Carlisle for calling me downstairs. I pushed her hair behind her ear again where it had fallen.

"Carlisle's insisting I come downstairs to discuss last minute details." I whispered only inches from her lips. She nodded seemingly dazed, and I continued, "I'll always love you, remember that." I whispered, waiting for her to stop staring at the wall behind me, focusing intently.

"Bella? Did you hear me?" I called out for her, had she even heard me? I shook her lightly, causing her to gasp quietly and look up at me with sad eyes. She shook her head slowly. A downhearted smile crossed my face as I looked into her sunken eyes.

"I told you that I love you, no matter what I say later, I will always love you." I whispered, trailing my hand from her face, down her arm and grasped her hand tightly.

"I love you, too." She said softly and I felt the smile on my face lift. I bent down over her and kissed her chastely before turning to run to Carlisle. I took the first step and shifted my weight to the other foot when I felt a strong, but small hand wrap around my wrist, pulling me backwards. I glanced down at a pitiful looking Bella. I felt the awe spread on my face. She smiled mischievously.

"I wasn't done loving you." She whispered with a shrug. A chuckle shook my chest as she pressed herself to me, forgetting the chaste kiss we had just broken and deepening it as much as possible. This was only hurting both of us more. I tore away slowly, looking at her apologetically. She nodded heartbreakingly and released my wrist letting me run upstairs.

I stopped at the top of the stairs, sighing as I retreated to the wall outside of Carlisle's office, waiting for Alice to finish whatever business she had with him. I gripped the bridge of my nose, squeezing tightly hoping to relieve some, if any, of the pressure building there. I exhaled as I pushed my hands into my hair, raking my fingers through it messing it up without thinking. The door to the office swung open and Alice stepped out, smiling sadly. She nodded and began to walk towards the stairs. Without thinking, I grabbed her elbow as she passed me.

"Does she actually believe what I say later?" I asked, my voice pleading. Alice looked up at me with wide eyes, her mind scurried as she tried not to think about what she saw, but the vision slipped through the cracks. Bella sat sobbing lightly on the stairs to the house as I ran into the forest. I stopped breathing and I felt my eyes darken in anger as I tightened my grip on her elbow.

"Tell me it's part of her act," I begged, spitting the words behind my teeth. She took her free hand and peeled my fingers from her elbow, pulling it away as I went to grab her again, needing answers.

"I can't do that, Edward. You know that," She hissed, her body stiffened as her eyes glazed over as the stared at me blankly. I twisted to run back downstairs to grab Bella and to run. Then, I saw what she saw, the sobbing Bella now sat safely in a building I didn't recognize, I sat near her on a large couch with me at one arm and her at the other. She wouldn't look at me, she wouldn't speak to me, no matter what I said or did. I backed away from Alice as she pulled herself from the vision.

"Don't even think about running; not now. She will hate you for a very, very long time. Even for what we are." She said harshly. I nodded quietly as she flew down the stairs. I turned slowly and entered Carlisle's office.

I walked into his office briskly, closing the door behind me smoothly. He sat behind his desk in his large leather chair staring at me with a defensive concentration playing on his face.

"Have you and Bella discussed the plan between yourselves?" He asked, before I could get further than the chair across from his desk. I nodded, and stopped and stood behind the chair, placing my hand on it, resting it there comfortably. "Nothing has changed, I take it? You will still be leaving Bella?" I looked at him with a hint of resentment for saying those words in that manner, but as I thought about it, that was exactly what would be happening.

"Correct," I said simply, not wanting to go into further detail.

"Will she be able to handle the memory of when you left her the first time?" He asked bluntly.

"Probably not, but I don't have any other option if we want this plan to work." I explained bitterly. My hatred for this plan hadn't faded since Bella first introduced the idea. In fact, it had intensified. Carlisle merely nodded.

"Will _you_ be able to handle this?" He asked after remaining quiet for a while. I looked up at him slightly caught off guard, even his thoughts had shied from that general topic.

"Do I have a choice?" I countered. "If I had a choice, the mutt would be dead without me risking Bella's life and everyone else's as well and Bella and I would finally live in peace." I muttered.

_Good point, _His mind answered for him as he continued to ponder today. I fought to listen closer to what Carlisle was thinking, but his mind flooded with too many thoughts.

"Your mind is racing, are you that worried about the family?" I asked, knowing I wouldn't have found the answer listening to his currently mumbled thoughts. He looked up from the floor.

"I'm worried about everyone today." He confirmed.

"You were more calm when we faced an entire army of newborns." I said, not understanding why this was so much different.

"Tanya and the rest of the Denali Clan were very close to all of us. To fight them will be fighting friends, not blatant enemies." He stated, walking across the room towards the door. My hands balled into fists at his words. His unsureness of today sent anger shaking through me.

"If you plan on hesitating, I suggest you tell me, otherwise, I'm going to be fighting an entire clan and Bella will be killed, as will I." I hissed angrily at his uncertainty. Carlisle looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes.

"Edward, if you think that this family will even think twice about protecting you or Bella, you have know nothing about this family. I said I regret that we have to fight them, I didn't say I refuse to. Stop twisting my words. You and Bella are part of this family, and all of us will fight for you. That is what families do." He said lowly and irately. I bowed my head slightly, a child like penitence filled my mind.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I didn't mean to question the family's motives." I whispered. The tense look on Carlisle's face loosened.

"It's understandable," He sighed and opened the door, standing beside it holding it open.

"Bella is downstairs, you should probably go meet her." He said quietly. I shook my head.

"The next time I talk to her needs to be when I'm _leaving _her." I stated, pensively. Carlisle shut the door and walked to the window and smoothly opened it, gesturing for me to leave.

"This needs to end," He said as I looked at him sideways. I nodded and slid out the window and jumped smoothly, landing with a light thud that echoed through the trees. I ran at a quick speed to the front yard where I was to wait for her.

Through the pane glass of the front door, I could see Bella and Rosalie hugging while Rosalie insisted that Bella punch Jacob as hard as she could. I smiled to myself, listening to them. They both had been rarely communicated before what he did, and now they care so much for one another. Emmett watched with a wary smile as he said bye to Bella and Rosalie and him retreated back to the stairs. I turned on my heel quickly from the door when Bella turned towards it.

I fought myself to twist my face into an emotionless expression. I had to convince her I hated her, but she wouldn't really be convinced. She couldn't be. I listened to her intently, not letting a sound escape my ears. She took a deep breath and the handle slowly pulled open and creaked while the door widened slowly. I turned again to face her as she looked around the porch. Her eyes shifted slowly and reluctantly to where I had just been pacing. She gasped and stepped backwards instinctively. I fought to run towards her and protect her from whatever caused the fear on her face before I remembered that it was me.

"Y-you wanted t-to talk?" She stuttered as she slowly made her way to the steps towards me. I stopped moving. I wanted to smile at the lack of distance, but I only focused harder on filling my eyes with a blatant distaste that I only wanted to release on Tanya.

"This was a mistake. Your little puppy friend was right." I muttered angrily. I hated those words. _He wasn't right, he was never right._ "You aren't what I thought you would be. You are far different from what I ever imagined you could be." _You are better. Better than everyone. _"I can't stay with you anymore." _I will always stay with you... _

"T-the family..." She whispered, breaking my spirit. We had talked about this. She was to put up an argument, but all that she could do was retort a few words.

"The family agrees with me. You should leave." _Lies. It was all lies._

"Edward, d-don't do this..." She whispered, I could see her shell cracking as she wrapped her arms around herself as if to hold herself together. I hated myself for these words.

_I don't want to. I hate myself even more that I am doing this to you twice. _"It's done. All your belongings are technically mine, so you won't be needing them." She gasped and stepped back again, nearly tripping on the step.

"Why are you doing this?" I forced a groan to cover the whimper that fought to be released and I rolled my eyes. I wanted to run. I wanted to take her and run somewhere far away; somewhere safe. I could see it in her eyes, she had forgotten that they weren't just words. She was listening to me this time.

"It doesn't matter to you; it doesn't change anything. Truth is, you are weak. Your hunting is awful. That little training session yesterday was pitiful. You can't hold yourself together all because of a stupid dog. You are weak. After seeing Tanya and thinking about it, she was right. She isn't weak like you. Besides, she and I always had such a beautiful spark between us." My insides boiled as I spoke such bitter lies. I wanted to scream in resentment to every word I had hissed.

"You said you loved me." She whispered pitifully.

"It was all a lie. I loved the challenge. You were such an interesting project, such a great pet. Now you aren't anything new to me. You are just like the rest of them." _You are nothing like them. I love you, not the challenge._ She was cracking as a whimper escaped her lips. "I'm leaving to find Tanya now. If you are still here when I return, you can expect someone to force you out." She stepped backwards again, but tripped on the stair. She caught herself on the rail and lowered herself to sit on the stair.

"You don't want me..." Her voice wasn't a pretend sob, it was real pain. Anger consumed me, because I had to answer this one question just as I had the night I left her so long ago. I had to mutter the same lie that killed her then, and it will nearly kill her now.

"No," I hissed, stepping backwards. I needed to run. It hurt to look at her like this.

"I love you, Edward. Please, don't do this." Sobs racked her body. I felt my face fall. Alice's vision flashed behind my open eyes as Bella sobbed. I took a step forward as ever fiber in my being fought to reach for her and hold her in my arms.

"It's already done." _I promised I would never leave again. _I fought to portray boredom.

"Don't you love me?" She asked almost inaudibly. I stepped back. The words felt like a fist in my stomach, but I kept my face strong.

"I hate you, Isabella Swan." I hissed. I hated every piece of that sentence. _Isabella Cullen; forever and always. _I turned around and ran into the forest, stopping at the edge of the trees. I had to say this, I had to admit what Bella was going to admit to him. I knew this would break her already hurt spirit. I turned around slowly and resented myself for what I was about to say.

"The mutt was right, you really are as useless and as much of a hassle as he said." I hissed. She gasped and I ran, refusing to look at her as she sobbed. I was angry and hurt enough.

I hated her for making me do this. I hated Jacob causing all of this. I hated the pack. I hated Tanya. I hated the whole situation. I couldn't escape anything. So I ran. I ran to the predestined spot I was to find Tanya, but I couldn't wait. I circled the area and still nothing.

Minutes passed as I ran where I was to wait for her. A flash of reddish blond hair flashed before me. I stopped quickly, and turned slowly to try and find the strawberry blond that was taunting me. Leaves were being crunched and shaken and thrown from the trees as someone ran by them.

"Tanya, don't play this today. We need to talk." I tried to hide the hate in my voice. The rustling of the leaves stopped and I turned around to see Tanya standing smugly, only an inch before me. I stepped back instinctively, not wanting to be this close to anyone other than Bella.

"What is there to talk about, Edward?" She asked coyly. I hated the games. "You made it clear that you didn't want me." She pouted her lips and moved her hips. I feigned lust as she tried to use her hips to distract me, moving them about.

"You know why I'm here," I said lowly. "I left her, because you were right. She was only a pet to this family and I don't love her anymore. I need something else," I stepped closer to her, her eyes filled with desperate want. "I need you..." I whispered huskily.

"I knew you'd come running back to me, Eddie, but I had no idea it'd be this easy. I'd almost think that this were a trap," She said as she leaned closer to me, placing her lips beside my ear.

_I don't want to hurt him, _A familiar girl's voice rang through my head, interrupting Tanya. _He shouldn't be stuck here like us._ I remained still. The girls' voice was growing closer. I was being trapped, but I couldn't let my face show that I knew.

"However, I would assume it's a bit difficult for the captured to ambush the capturer." I backed up, convincingly shocked. I turned to run, but as I had expected the familiar girl was standing there. I had only met her twice, and each time she was incredibly shy. I turned where I knew the other girl was standing. I had never seen her before. I backed up, shocked.

"What are you doing , Tanya?" I asked, acting to be taken aback.

"Same thing you're doing, Eddie. Only I'm getting what I want. The puppy had a genius idea. He isn't very bright, but his idea was perfect. Why should I wait for you to want me, or wait for him to kill her off," I fought the growl rumbling through my chest, "when I can just have you all to myself, just like that?" Her voice was taunting.

_He won't be able to resist me. _Her thoughts were arrogant and so sure of herself.

She stepped forward, moving her hips in what she thought was a sexy way. I tried to stare lustily, but all it did was turn me off even more. She smiled. _I knew it._ Her voice echoed. She stretched her hand out and wrapped it behind my head, grabbing a hand full of my hair and pulled my face towards hers.

"Tell me you really love me, not the pathetic human girl, say it!" She whispered, her lips only a few centimeters from mine. I gasped lightly, as if anything she did had an effect on me.

"I don't love her, I love you." I lied, whispering back, her eyes closing as my cold breath trailed on her lips. She moaned slightly.

"Tell me how much you want me." She commanded. The feeling and scent of her voice made me nauseous.

"I want you so bad," I whispered, internally screaming at her. "I want to be your yours and only yours." I needed effect so I leaned closer to her ear and whispered huskily, "I want you, in every meaning possible." Her body went limp into mine as she threw her arms around me, and kissed me. Her kiss was passionate, but only one way. I forced myself to respond at all.

"I knew you'd come around..." She whispered between kisses. I was repulsed by how far this was going. I wanted her dead. During one of the horrible kisses that seemed to push me further and further down to the ground, I heard the unfamiliar girls' voice in her head.

_Someone's coming. _"Tanya," Her voice was aloud now. Tanya waved her hand, pushing them away. I couldn't let the girl tell Tanya, so I deepened the kiss. She groaned and wrapped herself around me. "Tanya!" The girl hissed. Tanya pulled away, whipping her neck in the process.

"What?!" She hissed, I stepped backwards, towards the familiar girl. She seemed alarmed.

"Someone is coming! And they're approaching quickly!" Her voice was rushed and angry. Tanya's eyes widened.

"Aw, Eddie, is your little family here to help you?" She asked innocent, stepping towards me and trailing her finger down my cheek.

"I wouldn't doubt it," I muttered under my breath, Tanya looked at me angrily. She stepped back and began to circle me.

"Edward, I can't believe this! And here I thought we were having so much fun!" Her voice was condescending, as if she had expected this all along, her thoughts betrayed her. _How dare the little bastard set me up!_ _He loves me, I just have to prove it. I have to separate him from his family. They are what is keeping me and my beloved apart. He's mine, and mine alone. I won't stop until he understands._ I shifted uncomfortably, her thoughts were ravenous and insane, just like Jacob's had been.

Right as my body fought the two hands that grabbed my shoulders threateningly, the thoughts of my family flooded me. Images of each member of my family with a corresponding member of the Denali clan flashed behind my eyes.

_There's more than there was before. Where did they come from? _Alice's voice rang in my ears. Emmett's strong voice internally was celebrating; he was excited for a good fight and it looked like he was going to get more than he expected. He was nearly singing. I fought the smile that played across my lips. Tanya stopped in the small groove she was making in the ground, and looked at me.

"How many are there?" She asked. Her face fought to remain strong as the nervousness seeped through as I was nearly smiling.

"Enough," I stated. The girl's grip on my shoulders as she pushed herself closer to me. Her left hand moved from around my arm to in my hair as she pulled my head to the side, revealing my neck. I hissed through my teeth and she pulled tighter.

Just then my family ran through the last few trees before reaching the opening. Carlisle's eyes darkened upon seeing me trapped.

"Let him go, Tanya." He warned. She laughed hideously.

"Or, what?" She asked haughtily.

"Carlisle, you and your family are equal opponents in a fight, however, it seems that I have the upper hand here. Don't you agree?" She patronized. The girl holding me bared her teeth in a horrible grin, venom coated her mouth slightly. I turned my neck to see her eyes. They were gold, but dark red flecks still reflected light. They were the same color as Bella's. She was new to their lifestyle. I turned back to my family, slightly off put. Tanya had bribed this girl some how into helping her, knowing that we would try to attack again.

"We can always change that, if you want a fair fight." Emmett suggested, stepping forward with the girl still in his hands. With one hand easily keeping the small framed girl still, he reached into his pocket and pulled out an expensive lighter he bought at some weapons store during one of his and Rosalie's weekend get-aways to Europe. The girl fought against Emmett as he flipped it open, revealing a small, yellow flame. She sobbed against him.

"Please, don't! I'm sorry! I never touched anyone!" She shrieked as Emmett drew the flame closer to her, Tanya's eyes widened as she ran towards him, blowing the lighter out. Emmett huffed and lit the flame again as if it took so much effort.

"Let her go," Tanya hissed through her teeth as she walked towards Emmett menacingly. He just chuckled as she stared at him. "Let them all go!" She yelled at my family.

_So hungry, so thirsty. My throat burns so bad. I'm weak. I need blood. I need real, human blood. _The girl's voice echoed through my head as I turned to see her staring off in the distance. She hated this life. I listened to the other's minds, the one's specifically that I didn't recognize. They all had similar eyes and similar thoughts. They all just wanted to feed, and they even had it planned that after today they would be going to Anchorage to dine.

I made a decision and turned to Alice and nodded so slightly it wasn't noticeable to anyone but her. She closed her eyes, holding tightly to the girl in her arms and focused. I saw what flashed behind her eyes in the vision. She opened her eyes and nodded with a smile.

_I can see things again!_ Her voice rang happily. _Not as clearly as normal, but I can see!_ I smiled slightly at her and I moved my head further onto my shoulder and the girl stared at me warningly. I just shrugged my shoulders that she so harshly gripped. She tightened her grip as I looked to Rosalie who held the other thrashing girl that belonged to the others. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

_Edward, I can't read your mind, you idiot. _She hissed in her mind. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic voice. I moved my eyes to Alice and back to Rosalie. _What about her? _I blinked. _Why the hell did you blink? You aren't making any sense and- oh! Eyes! Their eyes have red in them! _She nearly celebrated her new found discovery. I moved my eyes slightly to nod. _So what are we going to do?_ She asked. I blinked again. _Eyes, _I moved mine to Alice. _Watch Alice? _I moved my eyes up and down again.

The girl behind me moved her face closer to my ear as she hissed into it, "What the hell are you doing?" Her teeth were bared and below my ear. Alice closed her eyes and pictured the timing. She took advantage of the girl's distraction on me. Alice pulled out a lighter out of her pocket and threw it into a dead pile of leaves and twigs that traced the floor. The leaves quickly caught fire, the dead matter burning quickly, but catching the twigs aflame. The girl in Alice's arms thrashed as Alice bit into the girls neck, nearly ripping it off as she threw her into the flames.

Emmett cursed low under his breath, after watching Alice throw a girl into fire after tearing her neck. The girl's scream filled the air as the fire slowly disintegrated her skin. Her scream was high pitched and sent birds flying out of trees. Alice watched her with sad eyes and a nervous guilt tinged her thoughts. The girl behind me screamed in agony as she lunged forward as Rosalie started to toss the girl into the growing fire. Everyone watched the theatrics in amazement, unable to move. The girls stopped fighting their captors and even the girl behind me watched as Rosalie and the girl she held fought to break free.

From behind me I heard a low growl that grew louder. She shook and held me in place. Rosalie managed to sink her teeth into the girl she fought as Emmett nearly cheered. The girl holding whipped from me, trying to save the person she seemed to care about. As her hands ripped from my hair and my arm, I turned so quickly she didn't have a chance to move as I grasped her arms and continued to fight her. She snapped and hissed at me as the flames in the forest changed colors. Her moves were ravenous and her mind was jumbled beyond recognition. She snapped at tore at my arms and parts of my chest. Another girl was tossed into the fire and the girls' eyes widened further and she fought furiously.

Alice screamed for me to watch out. I didn't understand why she warned me of this now. A vision flashed through her mind, but I didn't care to focus on it. I pulled her towards me to snap at her neck before she grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my head to the side and bit furiously into mine. I roared in pain as her teeth bore into me, she moved her head to rip the would further before an enraged Tanya screamed from the holds of Rosalie. I neared the flames and punched her with a hardened fist into the stomach, causing her grip on my neck to loosen. I took her shoulders, pulled her off of me before biting her neck quickly and threw her into the flames screaming. I stumbled backwards as the venom of the girl stung my abnormally agonizing skin. I managed to remain balanced as I turned back to Tanya struggling against Rosalie. All of the family stared at me worried.

"Edward, please!" Tanya begged, "Don't do this. Edward, you love me! Remember? You love me! Tell them! Tell them how much you love me!" She shrieked and sobbed as Rosalie slowly pulled Tanya's neck against her shoulder, leaving her neck vulnerable.

"It's over, Tanya." I said harshly. I walked slowly over to Rosalie and Tanya. I grabbed onto Tanya and began to tug at her from Rosalie. Rosalie looked to Alice nervously and Alice nodded. I pulled her from Rose and grabbed her just as she had with her neck exposed. I moved my teeth down to where I needed to bite to get the most accuracy.

"Edward, please, just forgive me!" She sobbed against me. I snarled against her throat.

"What you did, is not something easily forgiven." I hissed.

"NO!" She shouted, "No! I love you!!" her voice shook the trees as my teeth tore into her neck, and I pulled her head from her body. The clan gasped and the family all stepped back. A member of the clan screamed and I hissed as I threw her head and her body simultaneously into the flames. The screeching noise coming from the fire sent a rush of reality back to me. I stumbled backwards and stopped as I hit a tree. I leaned against it for support. Carlisle handed Rosalie one of the sobbing girls and Rose just comforted her as Carlisle rushed over to me.

"Edward, are you okay?" He asked. I realized how Bella felt when we asked her that at the hospital. It was a dumb question.

"I'll be fine." I muttered. Carlisle nodded and his fingers traced over the burning places on my skin. I hissed as he looked at the teeth marks on my neck.

"You need to go home and rest." He decided. I shook my head furiously, inhaling hoping to get the pain to fade.

"I can't. Bella is still out there. I have to find her." Carlisle went to object but I held up a hand and began to walk away, cutting off all communication between us. I walked off into the forest as Carlisle turned to the family and addressed the remaining girls in a way I didn't care to listen to. All I wanted was the love of my life safe in my arms.

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_Review!!_


	48. As The Stars Fell

**Disclaimer: Is It Even Necessary? **

_Hello, Marvelous readers!!_

_I've worked like mad trying to finish this chapter. I even fought tears a few times as I wrote some of the scenes._

_This is NOT the last chapter, but there is only one more after this. It's bittersweet to see this story end. _

_This scene has a few graphic spots. Not sexual, but very violent. If you're squeamish, beware. _

_All of you have been amazing this whole journey. Thank you so much!_

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I thrashed under Jacob, no longer lying still. His hand pressed further into my shoulder. I screamed as the anger on his face spread thicker. The heat of his body was no longer a weapon. Just as the heat of the shower, his heat merely bounced of my skin. His teeth neared my skin and I dodged it gracefully.

"I said, sit still! Give in!" He growled through clenched teeth. I hissed. I refused to take this. Another scream echoed through the forest and more smoke filled the air in the distance. "Stop. Moving." His voice was choppy and irrational as he still tore at my clothes. _Not again,_ I told myself.

"No!" I shouted, twisted under him. "Get. Off. Of. Me!" I screamed as he pushed me further into the ground. He laughed. His muscles twitched as he pummeled me to the ground. My hands balled into fists at my sides and I pushed them further from my body. He fought to keep them at my side, but even his strength was belittled by mine. I pushed against him, but he hardly moved.

"You can't win, Bella!" He taunted. "I will always get what I want!" His voice felt like daggers. The pain that he had caused flashed behind my eyes as I blinked as he spat as he spoke. I saw Edward's face when he found out what had happened, the disgust, the fury. I saw my entire family nearly shiver as they found out. I remembered staring at the wall until I fell unconscious, only waking when Alice shrieked at the sight of me. I thought about how distanced I became from Edward, from the family. My body shook with pain and fear as Jacob appeared at my wedding. Images of me sobbing into Edward's chest flowed behind my eyes.

"No!" I screamed again, this time, fury became my ally. With the same flexes and movements I had seen so many times, I pulled my arms into my body and just as Jacob's teeth snarled against my neck and bit into my skin, ripping it, I shoved my hands into his chest. The stone-like texture of my body crushed through his iron bones that had broken my hand before. The look across Jacob's face was full of anger and shock. I stood up quickly, not giving myself time to gather the mess of me that had lain on the ground so helplessly. I ran as fast as I could, approaching Jacob as he flew into a tree, landing with a thud. I stopped in front of him. He growled as he stood up and stumbled towards me. The imprint of my fist was already darkening on his bare chest, indenting his chest where his bones were now turning to a crumbling mess. He nearly roared as he stepped forward, his ribs grinding, just as mine had when he had nearly killed me. I stepped forward and he mirrored my action.

"What, are you going to fight now? You're gonna fight for your precious bloodsucker? You're going to fight for the vampire that is dead in a pile of ashes?" He limped forward weakly, but menacingly. I snarled, my teeth fiercely behind my lips. We remained at a far distance from each other. I took of running towards him, and he did the same towards me. Our bodies collided, the sound didn't resemble rock at all. It sounded like bones crushing in the shape of me. He screamed in agony. I remained balanced. I stepped back and shoved him down onto the ground. Pain reflected in his eyes, but it wasn't enough. I was gone.

I walked forward, crouching over him. I pulled him up by his shoulder, only to sink my fist into his face, bones shattering around my hand. _For Rosalie,_ I thought. He spat as blood crawled between his teeth and swirled in his saliva. The scent of his blood, while it may lure some, only repulsed me further. The scent of it filled me with rage and nausea. He fought me weakly, the life in him sinking slowly. I shouted in anguish. I hit him again in the chest, my hand nearly reaching his spine. _For Edward. _Jacob's eyes fluttered. I heard a deep voice screaming in the distance, growing closer. I slapped him across the face, so hard his skin ripped open, blood seeping out of it. Jacob pathetically fought back, his mouth sat ajar with blood seeping down the edges.

"Bella! Get off of him!" The voice was behind me now. I recognized it; Sam. I refused to move. I hissed behind me and shoved my foot into his side, another scream exploding from Jacob. _For Alice._ I heard him again. I shoved my fist into his stomach as he gasped for air.

"BELLA!" The voice was only inches behind me. I stood up quickly, turning on my heels, prepared to fight. Sam's eyes were shocked and fearing. He stepped backwards. I looked at him as he stared at the bloody pulp left of my former best friend. My senses flooded back through me. I could feel my eyes lighten ever so slightly. Sam stepped forward and I stepped back afraid he would hurt me, shaking me back to the present.

"Bella, shit, you're hurt." He stared at my neck where Jacob had bitten, I ran my fingers over it, the skin was raw. "You should go home," He muttered. "Now." I looked down at Jacob's body and nearly gasped as I stepped backwards, nodding slowly. I saw the life fluttering out of his eyes. I had killed him on instinct alone, but the part that scared me was that I didn't even regret it. I looked down on my shirt and blood spattered across it, and tears were ripped through out it. All that were left of my jeans remained torn pieces of cloth on the ground. I ran to them and slid on the shredded denim. The tank top I wore exposed torn skin. I wrapped my arms around my chest and started to move towards the house. Sam was bent over Jacob, muttering angrily at Jacob. Tears were falling from his eyes. I felt like I was intruding, but I couldn't pull my eyes away

"Bells," Jacob gasped and blood swirled with saliva flew from his mouth. His head lolled to the side as he spat. I backed up at the scent of the revolting blood in front of me. "I-I...I'm s-sorry..." His breathing was slow and painful. I knew his ribs were throbbing, because he had done the same to me, only I hit harder. "I'm s-so sorry..." I backed up again, this time out of shock. I could see his eyes from where I stood as he stared a hole in my chest. I stepped forward out of habit.

"Jake," I said warningly, "I'm not playing this game again." Tears seeped through his swollen eyes.

"No game." He chocked on his own saliva. I gasped quietly. "I'm sorry." I shook my head. I couldn't listen to this.

"No, Jacob, not now. You're too late." I whispered harshly. "You're much too late." I shook as I turned on my heels towards the woods. I ran into the forest as fast as I could, fighting to get away. I ran towards the house, but as I neared it I couldn't go there. I couldn't face them. I started sobbing quietly as I ran. All the rage and all the pain from the past two hours shook inside me and collided with one another. My neck was throbbing as I felt the fibers of my skin pull together. I fell hopelessly to the ground. I sobbed pointlessly into the ground, the cries and screams escaping my lips freely. I didn't even fight to control them. I couldn't fight anymore. I shook on the ground as the shredded jeans barely covered my mid-thigh and the tank top revealed to much of my body. Trees rustled in the distance and I shook. The strength that I needed to even defend myself wasn't there. I remained on the ground as I clenched my eyes tight, hoping if I remained still they would leave. It was a failed attempt as a sob escaped my lips. The movement got closer and I still remained where I was. The feet stopped moving and the body stopped a few feet from me. The scent was unmistakable. I sobbed harder into the ground, knowing he would really hate seeing me like this.

"Bella," His voice was heartbroken. I shook my head and remained in a ball. I felt Edward kneel beside me. "Bella, please look at me?" He begged. I kept my eyes locked shut. I opened my eyes when I felt a shirt that swallowed me trace over my body. He took off his and placed it over me, leaving him in a plain white t-shirt. I only shook more with the sight of his broken face. I remained on the ground.

"Let me take you home," He whispered. I nodded with my eyes shut again. He wrapped his shirt around me and picked me up. He threw his arms around me as I curled into a ball against his chest. My arms wrapped around his neck. I opened my eyes to see where we were. I saw nothing familiar. I looked to his neck before I went to nuzzle closer. I gasped as I saw the crescent shape that had occupied itself on my hand. I pulled my hand from his neck and traced it with my fingers. He groaned when I touched it. I whimpered at the sound and pulled my hand back. I placed my head back on his shoulder and sobbed. He stopped running and shifted me in his arms as the lighting around us changed. We were on the porch and he maneuvered his way through the house to our room. I felt the burning of everyone's eyes. I couldn't look at them. I crumbled into Edward. He ran to our room and sat me down gently in his lap as he sat on the bed. I clung to Edward desperately.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." I repeated over and over again. I sobbed into his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair and rubbed soothing circles on my back. He cooed and shushed me as he rocked me gently.

"Bella," He called through my sobs. I refused to acknowledge it and I shook into his chest. He peeled me from his chest, but I clung desperately. I was now wearing Edward's shirt which covered more than the jeans and it smelt like him. He moved his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him. I could feel my eyes widen with fear, but his face remained full of love.

"Bella, please, I'm okay. Everything is okay, now. You're safe, I'm safe; Everyone is safe. Please, Bella, listen to me!" He begged. The sobs quieted on my lips. He kissed my lips quickly before pulling away again. "Everything is alright." He whispered. I shook my head.

"You are not alright, you're hurt." I argued in a weak voice, tracing his scar in the air.

"I'll be fine. You are more beat up that I am. That mutt really got a hold of you." He whispered. I nodded.

"I got scared," I explained inaudibly.

"What were you afraid of?" He asked innocently twirling my hair in his fingers. I looked at him, almost ashamed.

"I was scared that I lost you again." I whispered nervously. He became stiff, but his face didn't tighten. His eyes remained careful. He moved his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him, crushing me against his chest.

"I told you that I would never leave you again. I promised You always believe the lies and never the truth." His voice was so sweet. I sobbed into his chest. He rubbed the back of my head as I cried.

"Shh," He whispered. I nodded and quieted my sobs, gasping for air. "That's it." He cooed. I snuggled closer to him and mumbled into his chest.

"Does it hurt?" I asked quietly. I looked up from his chest and his eyes were sad.

"It comes and goes," He said softly. I nodded. "Do you want Carlisle to come and look at your wounds?" He asked quietly. I shook my head softly.

"There's nothing he can do." I explained. He nodded. The room grew quiet for a while. Both of us took refuge in the silence. Our breaths were the only sound filling the air.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I shrugged. "Would you like to talk about it?" His face was innocent. I shifted against him, moving to a less intimate position. I shied my eyes from his.

"I killed him," I whispered.

"He tried to kill you," He reminded me.

"I killed him and I didn't even think twice about it. Something came over me and the next thing I know, he's laying on the ground spitting blood and with his bones in dust. I killed him in cold blood." I muttered as I fought a sob. Edward pulled my chin and forced me to look at him.

"You killed him because if you hadn't, he would have eventually killed us. You did what you had to do. You are not a bad person, Isabella!" He said certainly. I pulled my chin from his grip.

"You didn't see him." I stated.

"I saw him. I was following your trail and I found them." He whispered, moving the hair from my face.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled, pulling him closer and putting my head on his shoulder, focusing on not hitting his scar. He wrapped his arms around me again.

"Don't be sorry, don't ever be sorry for doing what you had to do." He whispered harshly. I nodded and clung to him as he clung to me with the same intensity. The room grew quiet and for hours I sat holding him. Everyone outside the room went on with their normal lives, but Edward and I sat silent, holding each other. The sun sat and the sky grew a dark black. The room had been silent for hours.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered breaking the silence and pulled away, needing to say these four simple words.

"Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, I love you so much more." He whispered this against my lips as he leaned closer and kissed me passionately. The kiss faded, neither of having the will to push it any further. I rolled onto my side, staring out the large window beside his bed. I cuddled closer to Edward as he wrapped his arms around me and I watched the sky. Stars were exploding in the distance and stars were falling. And as the stars fell from the sky, my world shone brighter.

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	49. Our Love

_So! I know how I said that this would be the last chapter, but I lied. I couldn't do it. I have one, just one, more chapter coming after this one. It's so hard to let this go. I love this story. ._

_This chapter, and the next, are just filler chapters I guess. It's the ending, so it's going to be a bit slow, but I feel as if it fills in all of the holes that you all have been asking. If you have a question you want filled, ask it by tuesday night or it might not get answered._

_This is just a cute chapter. I don't know how to explain it. No cliffhangers, no surprises, it just is_

_Review, Review._

_Next chapter is the last chapter!_

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Hours passed and the pitch black sky, slowly turned a bright pink and faded into the gray sky we all knew as the Alaskan Morning. I remained still against Edward's strong, loving body. The only movement or sound between us was when Edward would kiss a chosen spot on me and caress me gently; each touch was met with my urge to be closer to him emotionally, not sensually. I took the silence as an opportunity to listen to what the family was doing and saying.

Between the almost inaudible amble of each person moving from point to point, the thoughts of the family would be whispered or said and would carry to our room. Everyone's feelings mirrored each other's. Each person spent nearly the entire time with their beloved, whispering sweet nothings that no one except them heard. The entire house remained serene and the tension that had hung in the air for months was suddenly forgotten. Everything had changed in the way they spoke and moved. Their words weren't rushed and nervous, their movements weren't tense and overly cautious.

If killing Jacob meant that my entire family, and my entire life, would be peaceful again, then I didn't regret my actions. I regretted his actions, but I did not regret mine. He made his choices, even if _he_ didn't really make them at all. Part of me wished that I had waited, and fought a little harder to find my Jacob in there before I beat him to a gory pulp. The other part of me wondered how many bones were broken, and if Sam hadn't shown up, how many more would be broken. A faint shiver crawled down my back at the thought of how violent I became, and Edward held me closer. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he knew that this would make it so much easier.

I listened downstairs and heard the entire family eventually settle in the living room, each person doing their own thing. Edward and I laid on our sides, staring out the large window that covered the wall. His hands sat sweetly and protectively on my hips, holding me to him. I took a deep breath and slowly turned so that I was facing him.

"Good Morning," he said with a sly smile, causing me to chuckle. It had felt like we had both been sleeping for hours. I pushed forward and kissed him on the lips. He deepened the kiss and I smiled against his lips as I pulled back. His eyes were still closed, and his face wasn't smiling at all as he opened his eyes. He opened his mouth to protest the removal of my lips.

"I want to see _our_ family," I interrupted before he could even open his mouth. He couldn't deny the smile that crawled onto his face. He rolled to the edge of the bed and pulled me with him, setting me on my feet.

I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him and as I pulled apart I whispered, "I can do that myself, you know." He smiled against my lips and walked to the closet with me as we both picked out clothes that weren't shredded or even bloody. I pulled Edward's shirt off of me along with the ripped and bloody shirt and the jeans. I found a simple white, cotton dress and slid it over my head. Thought it was simple, it was bought by Alice. So it was a designer piece of clothing.

I turned and walked to the bathroom with my ruined clothes in tow. Edward followed me curiously as I grabbed the matches out of the drawer they were kept in. I dropped the stained shirt and jeans into the copper basin of the sink and grabbed the alcohol that was hidden under the sink. I poured the liquid over the material and lit the match, dropping it into the bowl, letting each fiber burn until the entire sink was in flames. I watched in silence as the flames grew until they began to slowly fade and the jeans and the shirt were nothing but a few burnt fibers stuck together. I knew Edward had been watching me, and I was positive he was behind me, but I still jumped when he placed his hands on my hips and rested his head on my shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes and placed my head on his.

"No reminders," I whispered. He nodded in my shoulder and kissed the skin next to the still raw place on my neck. I gasped slightly. The area he had bitten remained oddly warm, and Edward's cool touch felt fantastic. His finger's ran across the sensitive spot and brushed across my neck. Then I remembered.

"No!" I shouted. Edward's eyes widened and he stepped back, not knowing what was wrong. I ran past him to the cabinet where we kept the wedding reminders. I searched through it frantically, praying silently that I hadn't really put it on. I knew I was praying for a miracle. Nothing. "No!" I sobbed as I ran to the window and jumped out smoothly, not even looking back. Edward shouted at me from the window as he jumped, too. I ran as fast as I could to the spot where I had remembered Jacob and I fought. It took a while, but I finally found it. Blood was still splattered in spots and it made me sick, but I kept running. I stopped in the middle of the clearing looking for any glint of light, any little reflection. I saw nothing. I heard Edward approach, keeping his distance.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked cautiously nearing me. I turned to him with wide eyes as I shook my head. I traced every inch of the place in a mile radius with Edward on my heels.

"No, no, no! Where did it go?" I shouted to myself. I paced anxiously as Edward watched me a few feet away from me. He walked slowly up to me and grabbed my shoulder's keeping me from pacing.

"Bella, what's wrong? Talk to me, please." His voice was calm and quiet. I fought a sob that nearly shook my body. His eyes softened even more and he wrapped his arms around me when I collapsed into his chest. "Sh, Bella, It's okay. Whatever it is, you're okay." He cooed I shook my head in his chest.

"I can't find it. I can't find it anywhere! He broke it and threw it and I can't find it!" I gasped hysterically, letting him support me. This was one thing I could never lose. it meant to much.

"Bella, what are you talking about? What did you lose?" His voice remained calm.

"M-My locket! Your mother's locket! I was stupid and I wore it and he ripped it off my neck and threw it into the forest. I thought it was right here, but now it's not and I can't lose that!" I shook against his chest and he pulled me from his chest and stared at me. His eyes were intense and almost happy. He put a hand on my face and ran his thumb over my lip as I shut my eyes and rested my hand on his face.

"Bella," He called. I opened my eyes reluctantly. "In comparison to everything that has happened in the last day, losing that locket isn't nearly as significant as how much I love you and there is no number as to how much greater of a loss it would have been if I had lost you. The locket was merely a gift. You, on the other hand, are my life." His voice was so certain and his eyes were shining proudly.

"But, Edward, It was your mother's. I was stupid and I lost the most precious-" His finger touched my lips, silencing me.

"Isabella, as much as I wish I didn't have to say this, my mother is my past. She has been for quite a while and she will continue to be. You, however, are my present and my future and you always will be." I bit my lip out of habit.

"But, the pictures-" I started again.

"-can be reprinted," he finished for me.

"The initials-" I tried.

"-Will never change." He insisted.

"The-" I didn't even have anything else to say.

"Bella, please, don't get upset about this. We have each other. We have our family. That is all we'll ever need. Listen to me when I say, that locket was just a symbol. You and I are much more than that. So, please, I'm not angry or hurt, and you shouldn't be either. Alright, love?" He said positively. I nodded slowly. I closed my eyes and sighed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. He kissed the top of my head, and held my lower back, keeping me close to him.

"I love you," I whispered into his chest. I felt his lips curl into a smile on top of my head.

"I always have and always will love you," He responded. He always had to out do me. I sighed against his chest and pulled away reluctantly.

"We should probably go home," I mumbled. "I know they all saw me freak out." He smiled and grabbed my hand.

"Alice has probably already told them everything," He said gently. I nodded and we both began walking and it quickly led to a run. We reached the house quickly and entered through the front door and into the living room.

As we approached the family, I couldn't help but to smile at _my_ family. Emmett and Jasper sat competitively, shouldering one another while they held white xbox controllers in their hands. Both of them with wide smiles on their faces, but concentrating non the less. Rosalie and Alice sat happily, watching their husbands fight to the death in the game, each leafing through their own catalogs. Esme and Carlisle sat across the room, sitting quietly with books, both curled against one another on the couch reading intimately, occasionally looking up at one another, or up at the family, and they would smile at the sight.

As Edward and I stepped further into the room, Esme and Carlisle both looked up and warmly smiled, waving us over to the free couch beside them. We headed in that direction when Alice spotted me and nearly tackled me to the ground with a hug. I hugged her back with equal force.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" She squealed. I laughed lightly.

"I could say the same thing," I smiled and she pulled her arms from around me and walked back to the couch. Rosalie stood waiting for me to be finished with Alice and she reached out and hugged me with nearly equal force as Alice, although it was expected and slow so I didn't feel as though a truck had hit me. I smiled as she walked back to the couch when Alice shouted about some adorable top that she just had to have. A loud crash rang through the room and I jumped back, but I seemed to be the only one. I looked around the room to see what happened, but nothing seemed out of place. The only difference in the room was a raging fire and crash scene on the television. The surround sound was definitely worth the extra money. Edward laughed and pulled me closer to him as he took a step back when Emmett popped up into the air yelling.

"I won! I won! I told you I would win! Ha! In. Your. Face!" Emmett was shouting and rejoicing and nearly dancing around. He threw the controller down like a football player after a game winning touch-down, sending little pieces of plastic flying everywhere. This didn't stop his celebration or his constant chanting of, "I won! I won! You lost! You have to hold up your end of the deal! You have to wear Alice's clothes for a week!!" Jasper jumped up and looked ready to kill. I forced Edward to step back again and he chuckled in my ear.

"No!" Jasper yelled loud enough to shake the house. "That's not fair! Alice and Rosalie got all giddy!! Do you know how hard it is to shoot people when you're giddy?! Rematch! I'm not wearing Alice's clothes because of the stupid love birds- sorry Bella- and our wives reactions! No!" I couldn't help but to laugh as I pictured Jasper in one of Alice's summer dresses. It didn't help that it was a very descriptive, very specific picture. I shuddered and focused on the fight, not the mental image.

"You have to! It's the rules! You shook on it!" Emmett's voice rang.

"I didn't shake on getting bombarded with happiness! Emmett!!" Jasper shouted after Emmett as he ran upstairs, and ran into Alice and Jasper's room. Alice jumped up this time and chased after her husband, who was chasing Emmett.

"Emmett!" Her shrill voice shook the art on the walls, "Emmett! Get the hell out of my room! I swear to God, if you touch any of my clothes, I will put you in Rosalie's CLOTHES! GET OUT OF MY CLOSET! NO! NOT THE VERSACE! NO! THAT WAS STRAIGHT FROM FASION WEEK! EMMETT!! IT'S TORN! WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU IDIOT!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE!!" Ripping noises came from the upstairs bedroom. "EMMETT! PUT THE OSCAR DE LA RENTA DOWN! EMMETT! PUT IT DOWN! EMMETT!" Another rip filled the air as an unmistakable 'oops' trailed downstairs, along with the scared Emmett as the tiny, but furious Alice flew down the stairs, so quick I hardly saw her. Emmett ran behind the couch Rose sat on and he ducked down.

"She's gonna kill me!" He shouted. Rosalie looked at Emmett warningly and then at Alice, who was now pacing back and forth in front of the couch, waiting for Emmett to make a move. There were shredded fabrics in her hands as she stared at Emmett angrily.

"What did you do _this_ time, Em?" She asked with a smile as she turned back at him from Alice, touching his face with her hand.

"I broke some clothes..." He mumbled like a child. Rosalie ripped her hand away from his face and his eyes got wide.

"What clothes?" She asked, her tone suddenly serious. A pink dress with black silhouetted flowers, flew across the room in shreds as Alice refused to move her eyes from Emmett as she pounced back and forth between her heels. "Emmett! You DIDN'T!" She shouted and Emmett backed up. "I BOUGHT THAT IN PARIS! I BOUGHT THAT FOR ME! SHE JUST BORROWED IT! THAT'S ISN'T EVEN RELEASED IN AMERICA YET! WHY DID YOU PICK THAT OF ALL THE DE LA RENTA?!" She was shouting and Alice was steaming. Emmett was backed up in a corner.

"'Cause I thought it'd look pretty on Jasper." He explained innocently. I couldn't help but let out a long laugh at the thought of Jasper in that dress, as a matter of fact, it was even better than the previous image. Rosalie shrieked angrily and ran after Emmett who, with no other option, busted through the glass of the window behind him and took off running in the forest. Rosalie and Alice chased him; Rosalie carrying the pink dress and Alice carrying some sort of leather jacket with expensive stitching. I watched with my mouth open and I stood in awe. I had seen the sibling rivalry many times before, but this took the cake as the best theatrics, ever.

Jasper stood by the stairs laughing hysterically. Esme stood by the window furiously while Carlisle held her hand, preventing her from running after Emmett. Edward and I just stood amused at the entire situation. In the distance, Emmett's deep scream shook the trees and I could hear Alice and Rosalie taunting him. We all stood, watching the unmoving forest through the broken glass, waiting for them to reappear. After a few minutes they all reappeared and Emmett looked defeated and had twigs sticking out of his hair and grass stains on his shirt and pants. I giggled at his broken spirit. He walked over to Jasper and with his head bowed, began to mumble.

"You don't have to wear the dresses," His voice was so quiet, we all strained to listen, "we can do a rematch." Everyone was nearly rolling on the floor laughing, except Emmett; He was pouting.

"You're on!" Jasper said through his laugher as they made their way over to the game system. The laughter died down after a few more minutes and the game started back up. Emmett looked at the floor, disheartedly.

"How am I supposed to play with these things?" He asked as he scooped up a hand full of white and green wires and pieces of plastic.

"I guess you should have thought about that before you celebrated?" Jasper chimed in happily. Emmett stuck his tongue out at him. Alice giggled before reaching into the drawers in the end tables. She threw a brand new cordless controller at Emmett and pulled out another one. She placed the other one on the table that sat behind the boys and sat back down. Emmett reached behind him and grabbed it and chucked it at Edward. I ducked out of the way gracefully as he caught it, not surprising anyone.

"No, Thanks." He said as he went to toss it back before Emmett shouted at him.

"Aw, Eddie doesn't think he can play with us? Can't play with the big dogs?" His voice was taunting like a child on a playground. Edward looked at me from beside me with pleading eyes. I kissed his cheek and let go of his hands, shoving him lightly towards the door. He smiled and ran next to Emmett and Jasper.

"I don't want to embarrass you," he said haughtily.

"Oh, yeah? Wanna put Bella's clothes where your mouth is? Oh, wait! You already did!" Emmett's booming laughter shook the house and my mouth fell open. Alice stifled a giggle and Rosalie was rolling. Jasper and Emmett were laughing hysterically when Edward slapped both of them on their heads and sat in the space between them with the controller.

"Alright, girls, enough chit-chat, let's see what you can do." He worked to get the attention off of our sex life, once again, and started the game. The laughter was left floating in the air as the guys went back to shoving each other and leaning this way and that with the game.

I sat, staring at Edward as he became a different character as he fought his brother's to the death in the game. Every now and then he would shout or scream at Emmett or Jasper, nudging them, trying to get them to mess up. It was like watching little boys. I loved it. If this is what eternity was like, I couldn't wait.


	50. As Long As I Am With You

_Hello, loyal readers!_

_You all have been amazing through this entire journey of __Relearning The Breathing. You guys have inspired me to write this novel-long story. I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I have. _

_Many people have seemed to enjoy it and I hope many people continue to like it._

_I doubt there will be a sequel, but who knows. I will continue to write, and if anyone cares, I will post my fiction-press account on my main page if anyone is interested in reading those stories. (Basically, those are stories that aren't based on other stories. It's just my writing)_

_To any of my fans, thank you so much. This wouldn't have been half as good without any of you.  
I hope this is a good ending, because you all deserve a great ending._

_I'm sure I will write more twilight fanfiction, so don't get down!  
Just make sure you get my author updates! ")_

_Thank you so much to my Beta, Isabel.  
She has made this story at least 5x better. _

_Well, This is the end..._

**I'm not Stephenie Meyer... (For Old Times Sake)**

* * *

I sat on the love seat that faced the rest of the living room and sat beside the TV so that I could watch Edward. I grabbed the edge of my dress and made sure that it covered my my thighs as I spread out on the seat. I looked up to see Edward smile at me as I grabbed my book from the table and began to read. I had only read a few pages when Jasper's voice caught me off guard, causing me to drop the book on the floor.

"Edward! STOP!" Jasper roared as the surround sound indicated guns going off.

"I tried! You aren't letting me!" Edward shouted back over the sound system. Alice was giggling and I looked up from my book confused, just like Rosalie and Emmett.

"You started it!" Jasper countered.

"You're keeping it in the air!" Edward said, obviously annoyed. I shifted uncomfortably, having a minor urge to run to Edward and take him to our room.

"Well stop focusing on it!" Jasper stated obviously.

"I can't!" _I can't stop thinking about her because that dress is perfect! Her legs, her breasts, her face, It's all perfect. _ "And you're not helping!" My mouth was once again hanging open.

"Edward!" I shouted. Everyone stared at me, but the game continued.

_Get a grip, Edward. I can't wear Alice's dresses and your horniness is making this game a bit difficult!_ Jasper yelled.

Hello?!" I shouted. They were talking as if I wasn't in the room. Alice's laughter grew louder. I stared at her angrily, why wasn't anyone else shocked? Rosalie stared at me like I had last year's clothes on. Who knows, maybe I did.

_Uh, he's so horny! _Jasper's voice echoed. I stared at him in shock.

_I really hope this game is over soon,_ Edward stated miserably, _this is uncomfortable and is getting hard to hide. _My head turned sharply to look at him.

"I've got an idea, why don't you just quit?!" I shouted, angry that they were talking like that with everyone listening. Alice's laughter hit a peak and she rolled off the couch, gripping her sides as she laughed. The game paused and other than Alice's squealing laughter, the room was quiet. I stared at Alice as her giggles quieted, but not by much.

_Bella? _Edward called.

"WHAT?!" I shouted. I felt like my head was ready to explode. I really didn't think that vampires could get headaches, but what did I know?

Edward jumped up with a look of awe crossing his face. A smile broke across his face. I was so confused. I stood up from the couch. "What?! What are you so excited about?"

_I love you,_ He said.

I sighed angrily and answered, "I love you, too, but now isn't the time for th-" the anger in me fell away. His lips didn't move. The smile remained plastered on his face. "Edward, h-how did you do that?" I asked warily.

_What?_ He asked.

"That! You just spoke with your mouth closed! Why are you doing that?" I asked.

_I'm not._ He answered.

"Yes! You are! You did it again!" This time, chuckles and gasps broke out all over the living room. Some faces were even shocked. I sighed angrily and waited for his response.

_No, I'm not! _He responded. I opened my mouth to respond but he interrupted me. _I'm thinking; with my mouth closed if you want to get technical, but that is how most people think. _

I stared at him in disbelief. "Are you saying that I, that I just read your mind?" I whispered, fearing that I was going insane. His smile grew to a smirk and he nodded. "No, I couldn't have, that's your power!" I said accusingly. Alice giggled.

"Hey, Bella, What's the weather like later today?" She asked innocently. I could almost hear rain and see it.

"It's gonna rain and storm South of us, why can't you just look- no!" I sat down in disbelief. "Did you just see that vision?" I asked. She shook her head with a smug smile on her face.

"Nope!" She giggled, "You did!" I sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. I looked at the ceiling, exhausted.

"What else?" I asked, referring to what other powers I may have.

_Why don't you look? _I looked at her accusingly, positive that it wasn't said aloud. She smiled.

"First of all, stop! This isn't some one way conversation. Second of all, I don't know how!" I said with a huff. All that stress that had disappeared, hadn't really disappeared. It just hid until this moment. Edward's face fell a little and he sat beside me and placed his hand on my back and rubbed circles through the dress.

"Sorry, Bella," She murmured, "Just close your eyes, and focus on your powers and on what they could become."

I closed my eyes and sighed. I thought about the rainy day and saw the rain falling on the house, and through the window I could see Edward and I kissing deeply. If I were human, my face would be flooded with a blush. I looked forward a week, the weather was sunny. Edward and I were in our room, doors closed, going at it once again.

_"Jasper! Stop! I'm working on the cars!" Rosalie shouted. Jasper appeared from the house and neared the garage. Rosalie moaned slightly and Emmett who held the car up shifted uncomfortably, stifling a groan. Rose stood up and ran towards the house. _

_"BELLA! SERIOUSLY! THIS HAS TO STOP!" She shouted up at our window. Edward and I pulled apart and I shoved my head into a pillow and shouted back at anyone in the house that could hear me._

_"I'm sorry!" My voice was coated in embarrassment. _

I opened my eyes and my eyes flooded to the ground as seven pairs of eyes watched me.

"Well?" They all urged, wanting to know what my power was.

"I, um, I guess I attract other people's powers?" I muttered. Emmett stood up and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Seriously?! That's awesome!!" He shouted. I nodded weakly.

_"Get it?" __Alice called,__ "As a human she constantly attracted danger, and now she's gonna constantly attract powers!" _I groaned, knowing this hadn't happened yet.

"Alice, don't," I begged. She smiled and said it anyway.

"Get it? As a human she constantly attracted danger, and now she's gonna constantly attract powers!" She said through giggles as the whole room laughed.

"Well, it does make sense." Rosalie shrugged. I groaned and put my head behind Edward's shoulder, leaning against him, but hiding from the room. He laughed lightly and grabbed my hand in his.

_How the- Bella? Can you hear me? _Edward asked, his voice seemed shocked. I looked up at him and the room grew quiet. I nodded

"What's wrong?" I asked.

_It's so, so quiet. _His eyes were calm and his voice was just as relaxed. He continued to hold my hand and didn't make any move to pull it away. The room stayed silent.

_Is that so horrible?_ I thought. Wondering if the silence was ever that horrible.

_It's not horrible in the least, it's perfect. Thank you. _I pulled my head from his shoulder and stared at him.

_Edward? _I thought.

_Yes? _He thought back, his eyes wide. His smile brightened ten fold and he picked up off the couch and spun me around. Everyone stared like we were crazy. Hell, we probably were crazy. He sat me back on the ground and kept my hand firmly in his and held me in front of him, his arms wrapped around me.

"Edward, would you like to explain what's going on?" Carlisle asked patiently. Edward nodded and smiled as he looked at me and spoke.

"When i grabbed Bella's hand, I couldn't hear anyone's thoughts. She could hear mine, and then all of a sudden, I heard hers. Well, at least the ones she wanted me to hear." He winked and he turned back towards Carlisle. Carlisle nodded, a smile on his face.

Alice smiled and intercepted and explained further, "When she touches someone with powers, she intercepts them!" She said happily.

"Congratulations, Bella, it looks like you got the most colorful power, yet!" He said happily as he and Esme both stood up and walked over to hug us. Carlisle gave Edward and me a quick squeeze before heading towards the door, with Esme on his heels.

"If you'll excuse us, Carlisle's shift is going to start soon, and I need to find a hardware store in Anchorage that will be able to replace the window." She said happily, but glared at the last part towards Emmett. He looked towards the ground bashfully. Everyone waved goodbye as they walked out the door. Esme went to close the door but turned to Alice before it shut.

"Alice, the measurements?" She called back into the living room. Alice's eyes closed and a vision appeared behind mine.

Alice sat on the couch with her eyes closed, and her eyes popped open. "Five feet, 6 inches tall and 6 feet wide!" She sang happily. I mouthed the words because I had seen it.

All of the _children_ sat quietly in the living room. There were too many people to have an awkward silence. We all sat quietly against our everythings and each of us let our mind wander. I didn't want the confusion of everyone's thoughts running through my head, so I focused on the displaced feeling around my neck. I brought my free hand from my side and set my hand where the necklace should have been. Edward's smile lessened and he grabbed my hand tighter.

_Love,_ His voice rang out, but I knew only I could hear it. _Please, don't be upset over the necklace._ I looked into his eyes.

_How can I not be? _I asked.

_By remembering how much I love you, and only you, forever. _He said as he kissed the end of my nose. I sighed obviously and leaned against Edward to face the rest of the room.

Jasper looked at me accusingly. I listened to his thoughts to find what he was thinking.

_You seem very distraught, Bella. Are you okay? _He asked mentally.

"It's nothing," I explained. Jasper looked at me sideways and Edward rubbed a circle on my hand. The room fell quiet again. After a few minutes, Alice stood up happily, pulling Jasper with her.

"Well, we're off!! Oh, Bella, you might want to check my room, I think there's something you'll want in there." My heart sank a little. I didn't want anymore clothes that I would dread wearing. I closed my eyes and tried to listen to her thoughts.

_No! I won't tell you! And don't look in the future! Stop it! _Too late, I was in her room. I was walking through it looking for any shred of evidence that she had left something for me. I saw a note.

_Bella- Stop trying to figure out what it is. I won't decide what to do with it, and you will never see it! _

"Alice," I whined, popping back into reality, "Please, just give it to me." She smiled deviously.

"Bye, Everyone!" She said happily as she closed the door behind her. The future kept changing in her mind slightly. Even her thoughts were giggling.

"Edward, what does she have?" I groaned as I leaned in to him, letting him support me fully. He chuckled lightly and pet my hair.

"Love, you know more than I do at this point." I sighed and pushed myself off of him as he began to tug me lightly towards our room. I turned to Rosalie to ask her if she had any clue as to what Alice had got me, but when I looked around, Rosalie had Emmett on the couch and was straddling his lap, lecturing him in a much more sensual way than was needed. I turned around and Edward was smiling at me from the stairs, shrugging lightly as I pointed towards the ogling Emmett. I shook my head and grabbed his hand and let him lead me up the stairs.

Edward and I slowly walked to our room and sat down on our bed. Both of us sat quietly, his hand still embracing mine. He turned to face me, keeping his left hand on my right, and used his right hand to clear the hair out of my face. He brushed the hair behind my neck, revealing the silver scar that was slowly fading on my neck. He ran his hands over it, the icy feeling felt good on the skin. I closed my eyes as he brushed his fingers over the tear. He pulled his hand from my neck and moved it to my face where there were more fading scars. The he moved his hands down to my stomach and lifted up my shirt slowly, and cautiously. I allowed him to do so, as I watched him curiously. He pulled the shirt away from my body and used his free hand to keep it from recovering me. He released my hand and touched the scars on my stomach. The moment was so quiet, so intimate. He leaned forward and kissed each mark and each scratch. Stomach, stomach, neck, cheek, cheek. My breathing increased as his lips reached mine and we collided in a fervent kiss. The kiss threatened to deepen, and as I fought the urge to taste him further, I felt him fight the same battle.

I sighed into his lips, trying to keep my mind off of his perfect features at my convenience. "I'm, mmm, sorry about the game. I distracted you and, ah, I'm sorry." I mumbled against his lips. I ran my hands through his soft hair, keeping our lips close enough that the kiss never ended, but we could both speak.

"Rematch," Was all he could gasp before he groaned as I arched my back, rubbing against his groin. He pushed our weight so that he was laying over me, hovering lightly, yet smothering me. I moaned against his lips.

Somehow my head was now hanging off of the end of the bed, and our bodies were stretched almost reaching the pillows. As Edward ran his hands over my sides, lithely avoiding the sore spots. He kissed my stomach and left a trail of burning skin from the contact of his lips. My head fell back, and I could see our room upside down. I closed my eyes and something gold shimmered from the window. I fought myself on if I should see what it is or not. I opened my eyes again, lustily, and stared at the gold spec on the sill of the window. I forced myself to focus on it and my breath stopped and my body froze. Edward stopped his kisses and stared into my eyes. I looked at him apologetically.

He nodded and sighed and rolled off of me. I kissed him lightly on the cheek, not noticing that my shirt was now laying across the room. I slid off of the bed and ran towards the window. I gasped and took a step back as the golden locket with my initials and Edward's mother's initials carved into the face of the necklace. A note in perfect handwriting was spread across a page ripped out of a notebook.

_Bella, there was a reason that I didn't want to see what this was. I found this on our front porch. There's a note attached. Oh, and yes, you are welcome. Sorry for interrupting, Edward. _

There was a perfect heart and Alice's scripted name. I put the note down and grabbed the necklace sitting on the window. I cradled it in my hands, and pulled the note from it. Edward was standing behind me, holding my hips as I leaned back against him.

The note was sprawled messily against a stray piece of paper.

_Bella- _

_Jacob had me bring this to you just before he died. I, and the rest of the pack, will be out of touch for a while. Don't try to contact us, we're not angry, but this isn't something that will easily be forgotten. Stay out of trouble, for all of our sakes. _

_-Sam _

I sighed and walked across the room and shoved the note into a drawer that still held the note Jacob had left me. I don't know what I was holding onto by keeping these notes, but I wasn't ready to get rid of them. I shoved a shirt on, carefully keeping the locket in my hand, while Edward watched me from across the room.

I fumbled with the clasp on the necklace, trying desperately to close it around my neck. I sighed and held the necklace in front of me, signaling that I had given up. Edward smiled a crooked smile and took the locket from me and brushed my hair to the side as he wrapped it around my neck and clasped it easily. I smiled and turned around and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled against my lips and lead me to sit on the couch that backed up to the window. I sighed and sat neatly in his lap as he twisted my hair around his fingers. I leaned into his shoulder and rested my head in the crook of his neck.

His lips grazed my neck, the silver scar was no almost gone. I smiled at the soothing touch of his lips. I pulled my head from his neck and moved the neck of his shirt and my fingers lightly caressed the remaining silver scar. His body tensed as I touched it. I gasped at his reaction and pulled my hands back quickly. His eyes closed and he took almost uneven breaths.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, "Does it hurt?" His eyes opened, and they were slightly darker than they had been, but they were also filled with a contentment that they had lacked for weeks.

"The venom still stings. It doesn't hurt when you touch it, it felt much better when you did." He explained softly. I nodded and moved my hand back to slightly raised scar.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated as I lightly traced it, placing kisses around it.

"I'm not," he stated. I stared at him curiously. He smiled down on me and continued. "We're safe now. _You're_ safe now. Even if I have to get a few scratches, as long as I am with you, nothing else matters." He said as his hand caressed my face and brought my lips to his. My stomach flipped as I kissed him with as much intensity as I could find at the moment. He smiled against my lips, causing me to smile. We pulled apart and his smile was the crooked one I adored.

I smiled back, and both of us began to chuckle. I kissed his scar through his shirt and began to shift in his lap so that my back would be leaning against him. He rested his head on mine and tousled my hair and twirled it mindlessly. I smiled and sighed, letting my head fall against his unmarked shoulder. My eyes fell closed and I grabbed his free hand in one of mine.

The sky behind us was once again darkening. It was fading from a dull gray, to a cotton-candy color, and then to a darker gray. The sun peeked from behind a cloud, and quickly hid again, both Edward and I shimmered for a second and it fell dark again. The sky fell dark and the silence in the room became warm and familiar. I cuddled myself closer to Edward and he placed his head on mine, kissing the crown of my head and I felt him inhale the scent of my hair. I smiled and closed my eyes again. A few minutes passed before the silence broke.

"Bella," Edward murmured. I twisted my head to look at him.

"Hmm?" I called.

"I love you so much." He whispered. I smiled and stretched to kiss him on the lips. His lips smiled against mine.

"I love you so much more." I told him as I proceeded to kiss him. Both of us smiled against one another's lips. We pulled apart slowly and turned back to our previous positions. I was curled into his chest and continued to trace the scar on his neck. He continued to run his fingers through my hair. I kissed around the scar every few minutes and he would kiss my head, or my nose, or my hand; anywhere he could kiss.

The room was quiet, and I couldn't help but smile, because this time, I was sure that this would be our eternity.

_Please Review!_


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